419: Sweet Baby James
Dodgy Synopsis
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423: Manene Tojo! Kyusoku no Yakata!
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Today’s episode finds the twerps gathered around Munchlax as it leans against a tree, panting and looking feverish. Apparently it has been like this since the previous day, and when Max offers it some food it turns its head away - it's too sick to eat!
Holy crap, that IS sick!
There are apparently no Pokémon Centres around, and May is starting to panic when a little old lady shows up asking what is wrong. She checks out Munchlax and says it is sick (well thank goodness SHE showed up), and then an old man shows up too who is apparently her husband, though she calls him Pa which might just mean he looks REALLY good for his age or she looks REALLY bad. "Pa" has a Mime Jr. on his shoulder mimicking his actions, and May checks it out and gasps over how cute it is till she remembers her Munchlax is sick and they need to do something quickly!
But she's not the only one, Gentle Dodgers; you know who else needs help? That's right, it's....
That is the BEST goddamn episode title, holy crap.
Yes, elsewhere James is concerned because Chimecho is sick, and he snaps at Meowth for not being able to read the Pokémon Centre map. But Meowth snaps back that there is nothing on it to read because there are no Pokémon Centres nearby. Jesse makes the astonishingly sensible suggestion of having Chimecho use Healing Bell on itself. But it can barely make the effort to blink, and James gasps dramatically that if he can't think of something soon then.... then....
"One of your headaches again?" asks Jesse as James dramatically winces, completely misreading the moment. Wobbuffet happily agrees and James leaps onto all fours (his favourite position?) and snaps at them both to shut up.
He picks up Chimecho and runs to a cliff, looking out over the forest for a Pokémon Centre, and instead spots what looks like a palace.... one he recognises? He runs inside followed by Jesse and Meowth, the two of them yelling at that he'll be put in jail for trespassing, but James ignores them, calling for Nanny and Pop Pop!
Nanny and Pop Pop!?!
The old man and woman who were helping the twerps earlier pop out and spot James, calling him "Lil' James"! Jesse and Meowth are shocked by the use of "lil" to describe James, while James hands over Chimecho to the old couple to look at. They agree that Chimecho definitely isn't in the best of shape.... and then spot Jesse and recall James' parents telling him he'd gotten engaged.... is this the one? She looks like such a dear!
James stares at his Nanny and Pop Pop, mouth slowly dropping as he immediately imagines it - he and Jesse, together! He and Jesse, a couple! He and Jesse.... married!
The corpse of Rocketshipping kips up to its feet and begins roaring with laughter, screaming,"I LIVE! I LIVE!"
.....and it is a nightmare! He imagines a life of servitude and slavery, cleaning the house and being utterly abused and misused as Jesse sits back on her ass on the couch roaring with laughter and sarcastically calling him "dear". He cries out, and screams out - and the following is absolutely verbatim without a single, solitary change of emotion, words or context - "I'D RATHER DIEEEEEEEEE!"
The corpse of Rocketshipping suddenly realises it is naked on the final day of its exam and is being pointed at and laughed at. It realises to its horror it isn't alive at all, this is just yet another day of its own personal hell.
Jesse isn't best pleased to hear a man (any man! Even James!) describe the notion of dying being preferable to being married to her, while Meowth doesn't have a goddamn clue what is going on and Wobbuffet is probably saluting happily inside of its Pokeball. Snapping out of it, James tells Nanny and Pop Pop that Jesse is actually his Executive Secretary and Meowth is his Personal Manager, and when they both exclaim in shock, Nanny and Pop Pop are impressed by Meowth's ability to talk and James' business nous in picking him to be his manager. Jesse and Meowth seem less than impressed though and haul James away for a quick and hurried explanation, learning that this mighty palace is actually one of James' many summer cottages!
He tells the astonished Jesse and Meowth how his life as a child involved him constantly studying and being tutored in every manner and aspect of his life - he had 23 tutors! He even had a tutor for when he ate at the table and constant music lessons. But when he came to this place he was treated nicely by Nanny and Pop Pop and didn't have to worry about the stresses of his normal life. They made him happy and let him just be a kid, and would take time out of their lives to heal sick and injured Pokémon, treating them like their own children. He says that he doesn't want to disappoint them so is pretending to be a success, and to his surprise they agree to help him.... on the proviso that he owes them, big time!
They take it up to one of the many rooms in the house to rest, pointing out it is suffering from exhaustion and needs a long sleep. As they talk, Mime Jr. rushes up to James who introduces himself while Jesse exclaims with delight that it is cute. Pop Pop chooses this point to ask what the R on their chests stands for and Jesse quickly covers for James, saying it is their Company Uniform, it stands for Royalty and Romance! She poses bravely to show off her own R (and her tits, if Pop Pop is so inclined!) and Mime Jr. mimics her.
Nanny starts crying saying James parents will be so proud and he panics that they're there, but they explain they've been on a world cruise for months now.
SUDDENLY ASH!
As James - and Mime Jr. - sigh with relief, Ash suddenly barges into the room demanding water for his Pokémon goddammit.... and spots Team Rocket! He begins to let out a patented,"TEAM ROCKET!" roar but James zooms by, exclaiming with mock delight that it is has been too long since he saw them, then closes the door and jams up against it as he desperately explains the situation. Frantically he tries to shush them as Brock insists on threatening him, till finally he snaps at them to give it a rest and then hunkers down and attracts them in with a waggle of his finger to whisper in a hurried rush an amazing amount of backstory fill-in.
Max is surprised this is his Summer Cottage, Ash is surprised to learn they're his Nanny and Pop Pop, May is shocked to discover they took care of him when he was little and Brock's face eats up the entire screen as he roars out that James is pretending to be the head of a make-believe company! After May tells him about Munchlax, he asks them to call a truce, promising not to do anything nasty while asking them to keep his membership in Team Rocket a secret. They agree due to Nanny and Pop Pop helping Munchlax and also because maybe they have some real goddamn human emotions. Nanny and Pop Pop come out to ask if they're friends and the twerps play along, though Max nearly gives the game away by being a bit too clever for his own damn good.
A little later Munchlax is feeling better as it lies sleeping next to Chimecho. Pop Pop notes that Jesse and Meowth are missing and James freaks out, rushing along with Mime Jr. to check various rooms full of different, expensive stuff but doesn't find them..... until he checks the fridge!
He demands to know where their manners are and what they think they're doing, and Jesse mumbles through a mouthful of food to ask what else they're supposed to do when they're hungry, Meowth sarcastically asking if they should paint the house. James demands they stop and Mime Jr. agrees angrily, then Nanny and Pop Pop show up with the twerps and ask what is going on. James scrambles for an explanation and finally comes up with the wild claim that they were checking to make sure the food was of sufficient quality for his tastes. Nanny says she would have made him one of his favourites if he had said something, and then suggests Pop Pop show everybody the "Pokémon House".
They go into a Glasshouse with trees, vines, a waterfall and pretty much its own eco-system. Nanny is there too despite earlier suggesting she would be making a meal. As they and the twerps spot a bunch of different Pokémon, it's revealed that this was James' favourite place to hang out as a kid. Jesse and Meowth separate from the rest to follow an Oddish, looming over it evilly as it cries out in fright. James hears and calls out to ask what is wrong, but Jesse and Meowth emerge saying everything is fine.... until a leaf pops out of her collar behind her neck! James demands to know what it is and she says she is going to plant a tree, but then more of it pops out and James isn't dumb enough to believe it is growing already. Jesse hauls the Oddish out of her top (jealous, Gentle Dodgers?) and feigns innocence as James grabs it off of her and accuses her, saying she promised no funny stuff. Jesse giggles and says it isn't her fault the Oddish wants to have "funsies".
Oh like you wouldn't.
That night Mime Jr. finds James sitting beside Chimecho on its sickbed, and then May comes to stand by Munchlax. James assures her it will be fine and that he is keeping an eye on things, and she asks how Chimecho is doing. He says it is better but it is his fault that he took it so far (eh? What does that mean?). Mime Jr. runs up beside James as May leaves to go back to bed, and James figures out that it wants to be his nurses' aide. He tells it that it is sweet.
Meanwhile....
That's not quite as sweet!
Jesse and James tiptoe through the dark, illuminating their face with flashlights and giggling evilly before creeping in on James as he sleeps, grabbing Munchlax and Mime Jr. in a sack. They head into the Pokémon Glass House, seen by Ash as he wakes from his sleep and spots movement in the glasshouse. James also wakes and notices Mime Jr. is gone, but so is Munchlax. Figuring it is too late for a midnight snack, he looks out the window he spots the flashlights.
Inside the glasshouse, Jesse and Meowth have grabbed a sackful of Pokémon but are confronted by the twerps who turn on the lights and demand to know what they're doing, and you know what that means! Time for the motto!
"Prepare for trouble, of course we're going anywhere we please!" says Jesse, captured in silhouette.
"Make it double, this stuff is a breeze!" adds James.
"An evil as old as the galaxy!"
"Sent here to fulfil our destiny!"
"Wif Meowth da-"
"ALL RIGHT TIME OUT!" screams James, suddenly coming to his senses and shoving Meowth out of the way, demanding to know what the hell Jesse and Meowth are up to.
James roars that they promised to be good and begins tugging on Jesse's sack (oh my) which rips (OH MY) and lets the Pokémon out, including Munchlax and Mime Jr., which rush up to May and James respectively. A furious Jesse calls out Seviper while Ash (who probably doesn't know what is going on) calls out Phanpy and has it use Rollout to knock down Seviper. James calls out Cacnea which menaces at the twerps... until James tells it that Seviper is the object of its affliction today! It smashes its way through Seviper as Jesse and Meowth roar with fury at James' treachery, though he insists he isn't siding with the twerps, but with Nanny and Pop Pop.
Phanpy uses Hidden Power and Cacnea uses Pin Missile, and Jesse and Meowth are sent blasting off again, Jesse complaining about getting her head handed to her by a homie.
Uhh.... yeah boy, dat shit iz whack.
Nanny and Pop Pop run out asking what is going on, and James hurriedly covers by saying he was playing with the Pokémon, reliving his childhood. The twerps agree and Nanny and Pop Pop say it is nice to see young people in the house.... but why can't his Assistant and Manager stay in one place? Just then, Jesse and Meowth crash down into the ground next to them and Jesse giggles that an Assistant's work is never done, bizarrely going back into covering for James.
The next day the twerps and Munchlax leave waving goodbye to Nanny and Pop Pop, while on the roof Jesse and Meowth sit bored in the Happy Buddha Face Meowth Balloon wondering what is taking James so long, all apparently forgiven.
James is sitting next to Chimecho and doesn't want to leave it, but Nanny and Pop Pop say it is too sick to be moved and James sits through a sad montage/music video/tribute song of his favourite memories, then says his goodbye to the little floating testicle.
Well, you know, it was nice and all but it never actually did anything other than say its own name at the end of the motto!
Mime Jr. watches as James reaches into his pocket to give Chimecho's Pokeball to Nanny and Pop Pop, but drops another one in the process. Mime Jr. rushes to it and slaps the ball, getting sucked in and becoming.... captured!
James just (kinda) caught a Mime Jr.!
He tells them he has to go, but first he has to tell them something. Shortly after, as the Happy Buddha Face Meowth Balloon leaves, Nanny and Pop Pop say it is surprising to see he got caught up in Team Rocket (what he told them, it is to be assumed) but he is still THEIR little James, and he does have good friends despite all that.
Oh Sweet Baby James!
| BEST QUOTES |
 "23? How depraved..."
 "What are you doing here?" "Shhh." "You watch your step!""Shhh!""There's a nice old man....""SHHH!""....and woman living here....""SHHHHHHHH!""....that help injured Pokémon!""WILL YOU GIVE IT A REST!?!"
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