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Pokemon 8: Lucario and the Mystery of Mew
Humanity.... is a virus |
"The King is dead," said Clarkie, smiling,"Long live the King."
"I'm honored," said Brandon with a smile, tucking a small object into his inner coat pocket,"But for me this is all over. I'm getting out. What was true then is true now. Have a plan. Stick to it. So I'm sure you must have lots to discuss... but I have no business being here. I've got someone to meet.... adios, amigos."
He walked out of the club, thinking about all those who had died on his way to the top of the Layer Cake - Paul the Boatman, Kinky, The Duke, Slasher, Kilburn Jerry, Crazy Larry, Mr. Lucky, Troop, Jimmy... he didn't want his name added to that list. Besides, no one knew his name, if they did, they'd be as clever as him.
"NO!" shouted Tammy, and then Brandon's ears were filled with the sound of a gunshot.
"I'm sorry!" I said as I rushed to his body lying on the steps of the club and pulled the small case out of his inner pocket, then turned and ran as Tammy wailed over him, as he clutched his chest and blood soaked his shirt.
I ran up the street, leaving the whole sorry mess behind, clutching the case in my hand. I was sorry to ruin Brandon's attempt to leave the Layer Cake behind, but he had what I needed, and what I now had, the DVD case in my hand as I ran with.....
Lucario and the Mystery of Mew
We begin with the narrator telling us about the hundreds of different types of Pokemon and the many more yet to be discovered (as Nintendo Merchandising Concern thinks up new ways to make money) as we see the earth, and various Pokemon falling across the screen like something out of the Matrix only with Pokemon instead of green numbers... and the first to be seen? Mew.
Apparently humans and Pokemon have learned to live together over time - and we see Ash using Phanpy to take on a Claydol, then him and the rest of the twerps at a lakeside as Brock prepares them a meal. But that is the present, and this movie starts in the past, long, long ago because that Human/Pokemon Harmony, in a time before Pokeballs, Pokedexs and Poketchs.
A huge tree sits above a foggy landscape of mountains and forests, and flying up through that forest? Ho-Oh, the legendary Phoenix-like Pokemon rarely seen by humans whether in the past or the present. But another Pokemon little seen is also there, moving through the rocks of the mountain paths, darting and flipping, twisting and jumping, a small humanoid Pokemon, a type of blue fox with black markings making it look like it is wearing gloves and an eye-mask. A spike sits in the centre of its chest, and as it moves, it seems to sense something and stops, and we hear it thinking.... in English!?! It declares "Aura" is with it and closes its eyes, and suddenly it is seeing without its eyes, traveling astrally through the landscape, the mountain passes until it finds..... Pokemon, and humans, thousands of them, all dressed in red marching towards something..... and then it looks in the other direction and sees the same, thousands of humans and Pokemon marching towards their opposite numbers dressed in green. What are they marching towards?
War.
The odd Pokemon looks up and sees Ho-Oh flying overhead, and then three Houndoom marked with red armour leap over the side of the rocks and menace the Pokemon. It moves away towards odd blue rocks and touches them, thinking in its head, communicating with someone called "Sir Aran." On the other end of the blue communication crystal is a massive castle set atop a rock, and a young man stands besides a woman with long blonde hair. A rock formation behind the man pulses with light and he moves to it, Sir Aaron asking the Pokemon - Lucario - to communicate, and learning that the two armies are marching towards each other.... with Aaron and the woman's Kingdom caught directly in the middle.
The Houndoom attempt to attack Lucario, which leaps and darts aside, dodging the attacks until it gets dust and smoke in its eyes from an attack and has to leap high in the air, using it's ability to see "auras" to fight blinded and blast the three Pokemon aside.
Meanwhile, the Queen is telling Aaron that she will NOT abandon her Kingdom for her own safety, even though he warns that it will mean her destruction. He lifts a crystal-topped staff high and a Pidgeot emerges from the fog, Aaron leaping onto it and flying over the march Red Army (damn Communists!), which is huge in number.
The Green Army marches from the other side, three Skarmory providing air support that attack Aran's Pidgeot, forcing it to land Aaron safely before crashing into the bushes. Aaron looks around and see Lucario approaching, using its aura sense to see now that it is blinded. Aaron asks what happened to its eyes, and it tells him not to worry, saying it knew he would come, calling it Master. Aaron tells it not to call him Master, saying he has abandoned the Queen and the Kingdom rather than face certain death. He turns to run, and Lucario tries to follow, not believing its Master, tapping a blue crystal with its leg as it runs. Aaron turns and tosses his crystal staff into the air, and it slams into the ground before Lucario, then surrounds it with blue energy, sucking it up into the crystal like an ancient Pokeball, trapping Lucario inside, still able to see with his Aura Sense that Aaron is running, abandoning them all.... and all Lucario can ask is,"Why?"
And then, as the Queen watches the massive Tree of Beginning looking over her Kingdom begin to glow, war comes to the Kingdom.
And deep inside the Tree of Beginning, Ho-Oh lands, glows and.... becomes Mew!?!
As the battle wages, Pidgeot returns the Crystal Staff to the Queen and then cheeses it the hell out of there, and the Tree of Beginning glows green, causing the crystals that dot the Kingdom to glow bright, turning the entire place green with waves of energy that freeze the warring armies in place.
Now we are no longer in the past, but the present, and the female's voice is that of the mother telling her child a story, the tale of the destruction of the great Kingdom reduced by time to a child's fable, one that perhaps simplifies events. Did Sir Aaron plead the Kingdom's case to Mew? Did the war end with understanding? Or did it end the way Ash and the twerps were told in one episode - that Ho-Oh became filled with fury and wiped both the armies from the face of the Earth? Even if that did happen, it is not the type of thing you tell a child, and the mother explains to the child that because of the actions that Aaron (allegedly) took, that he is know now as the Guardian of Aura.
And Aura? It is the city that is left of the Kingdom once ruled by the Queen from the past, two city masses bookending bridges leading to the massive castle that stands even now to this day.
And the site of the twerp's latest adventure, as they cross the bridge to Cameron Palace to attend the festival to celebrate the life of Sir Aaron - with the major event of the festival to be a Pokemon Competition that will see the winner this year's "Guardian of the Aura".
As the twerps cross the bridge, they realise that everyone is dressed up in costumes to showcase the fashion of Sir Aran's time, and Brock tells them they can find costumes themselves at the Palace. They laugh they should dress up Pikachu as well, and as they continue on, a Taillow flies over the bridge to the Palace, landing atop a window and then glowing before evolving into... PICHU!?!!
The Pichu jumps down through the open window as the twerps enter the Palace and move to the costume room to select an outfit. As they all begin dressing up, Pikachu watches in confusion, then gets even more confused when it spots Pichu hiding behind a curtain, then emerge shortly after having evolved into.... TREECKO!?!
The confused Pikachu watches as it runs out the window and scrambles over the wall, then turns to see May dressed up as a Princess with a Beautifly ribbon on the small of her back - which ironically enough is where slutty girls of today get butterfly tattoos, also know as "tramp stamps". Max steps out dressed as a page, Brock as a monk (with an unwanted vow of celibacy!) and then Ash appears in a cape dressed like a swashbuckler.... though in actuality he appears to be wearing a costume very similar to that of Sir Aran's.
Ahhh man, there's always one at every costume party; the guy who comes dressed as The Crow or Scream or Sir Aran.
Everyone is delighted with their costumes.... and then they realise that Pikachu isn't dressed up yet, and they leer over the horrified Pokemon, ready to remedy that.
Brock warns them the competition is starting soon, and they rush off, leaving the room empty for just a moment.... and then Team Rocket appear! Jesse declares that her plan is for them to pocket the twerps' Pokemon, and when James and Meowth cheer for her and tell her to let it know how it works out for her, she reappears in costume, declaring that they'll know, because they're going to be her dates!
She's got pom-poms over her tits.... God Bless her.
Inside the palace interior courtyard, Lady Eileen steps out holding a Mime Jr, waving to the crowds assembled in the balconies overlooking the arena. She is the spitting image of the Queen from the past, and May declares that she's beautiful. Eileen opens the contest in honor of Aran, and the Advanced Battle Pokemon theme comes rocking on as the opening credits roll over the battles.... and Ash kicking the shit out of his opponent with his Level 4 Billion Pikachu, while the crowds cheer and Eileen's Mime Jr spots the odd Treecko that Pikachu saw earlier. More contests wage on with other various trainers, while Eileen's lady in waiting is confused to see TWO Mime Jrs. before one evolves into an... AIPOM!
Finally the battle comes down to Ash's Pikachu against a Knight's Weavile, Pikachu dodging Shadowball to blast the fuck out of it and send huge bursts of electricity into the air, a massive smoke explosion and.... Pikachu wins! Ash is the new Guardian of Aura! As he runs in to celebrate with Pikachu, the odd Aipom also charges in to grab Pikachu's paws and jump up and down in excitement.
The Knight approaches and removes his mask to reveal he is actually a girl, and introduces herself as Kit, and then Ash introduces himself.... only for Brock to appear from nowhere and try to hit on her, Max dragging him away complaining that even a suit of armor isn't enough protection from Brock.
Later that night, the Staff of the Guardian is presented to Ash in the Court Room of Cameron Palace, while the costumed attendees stand in... well... attendance. A large portrait of Sir Aaron is visible behind Ash as he is presented with the Crystal Staff, showing the similarity in their appearance, and inside the Crystal, Lucario can see enough to make out the outline of Ash's form, and mistakes it for Sir Aran, questioning inside Ash's head why, why did he betray him?
Ash is confused and asked the old lady if it was her who said something, and then Lady Eileen kicks off the Grand Ball. In a spectacular scene reminiscent of the Beauty and the Beast ballroom scene, couples take to the stage to dance, including an enthralled May getting to dance with a tall handsome prince, much to her squeaky-girl delight. As she gushes with delight, however, Brock is just trying not to gush his pants, as he approaches Kidd and stammers for a dance, moaning with delight when she gives him a pity yes. They start dancing, and he looks like he's about to either blow his load or full the seat of his pants, so she grabs him arm, tucks it around her waist and tells him not to be nervous.
Welp, that ain't going to happen.
Meanwhile a barefoot Max stands on a seat chowing down on food, while off in the corner Pikachu does a silly dances with the odd Aipom, and sitting in his place of honor, Ash decides the best thing to bring out at a classy fancy dress dance is a bunch of animals that could possibly poop all over the floor. He tries to join them as May calls out her own Pokemon, but Eileen's Lady in Waiting informs him that as Guest of Honor, his job is to sit on a chair and look dignified.... ALL NIGHT LONG!
Jesse and James dance by, James sporting rolls in his hair, a pony tail, a thick black moustache and a monocle. He suggests it is time to waltz away with some Pokemon, but now that they're there, an ecstatic Jesse is more interested in dancing the night away, and things get even better for her when she and May swap partners in the dance procession, finding herself face to face with the handsome stranger who tells her she dances beautifully, causing her to gush in delight and get carried away, spinning him about happily.
May is less enamoured with her new partner, asking him if they've meet before, and while he tries to hide his face, Meowth sits in a suit of armour underneath a table scoffing down food before noticing Pikachu leading the other Pokemon out of the ballroom. As Brock goes to grab Kidd some punch at her request, Meowth follows the Pokemon through the corridors of the palace, walking into a closing door and getting knocked back into a fireplace. As he emerges, Kidd steps into the room and puts on a visor and telecommunications microphone to communicate with a mystery stranger. As she talked, the camera moves to the lakeshore overlooking Cameron Palace and an armored car with a satellite receiver dish. It then lifts up into space where a massive satellite orbits the Earth, then back down to another part of the Earth where the sun is still shining, inside a tall skyscraper in which an elderly gent with a goatee but no moustache jogs on a treadmill, telling Kidd that their operation is going seriously into the red, so they need results soon. She asks him to upload a schematic of the Palace interior to her headpiece Dataset, and "Banks" agrees reluctantly, having wanted to finish his workout first. She slides of her dress to reveal a figure-hugging leotard, telling Banks that there is a Mew somewhere in the palace and she means to find it.
So it seems is half-Domino/half Annie and Oakley, but who is she working for?
She exits through a window, and Meowth crawls out of the fireplace intrigued.... a Mew?
Inside the ballroom, Max is looking for Pikachu and the other Pokemon and spots Munchlax grabbing some food and cheesing it out of there, while upstairs in the attic rooms of the palace, the Pokemon find a series of old toys and begin playing with them, causing all kinds of mischief and nonsense, rolling around on wooden trucks, knocking loose bouncing balls and just generally having a great time.
Downstairs, May is trying to get James attention as he whirls her about distractedly, while a guffawing Jesse spins about her dance partner, and up on the roof, Kidd displays some dramatic Batman shit by using a grappling hook to move from one Palace roof to another. Meowth tries to follow her and ends up pitching through the window of the attic where the Pokemon are playing, while Munchlax leads Max up the stairs towards them. Meowth lays crashed out on the ground and the Pokemon gather around to check on his condition, Corphish the jerk bopping him on the head with a claw before the "other" Pikachu there transforming into Mew within view of Kit, who is watching from the rooftop and calls out two Weavile to.... plant a transmitter onto it.
Hmmmm, she isn't going to steal it?
The Weavile grab the transmitter out of the air and leap across to the attic window as inside Meowth comes to and tries to figure out what is going on before spotting the giggling Mew.... and then the two Weavile leap in and try to grab it. It darts out of the way, Munchlax getting frozen in Icebeam from the two, then one grabs Mew by the throat while the other prepares to tag it, only for Pikachu to blast one with Thunderbolt. They try to freeze it and get the other Pokemon instead, and Pikachu, Meowth and Mew cheese it, Mew grabbing Meowth and "evolving" into it, dancing around in circles until two identical Meowths are standing in front of the two Weavile. The plan would work better if one of the Meowth's couldn't speak English though, and it is up to Pikachu to try to hold back the Icebeam with Thunderbolt, only to get knocked aside by the double blast into Meowth's arms. The two Pokemon begin moving in an odd kind of dance and Meowth asks if they want to battle or ballet, while outside the attic Max struggles to push the ice-blocked door open a crack and spots Pikachu and the two Meowth.... one of which then turns into Mew!
The two Weavile try to blast dual Shadowballs, but Mew teleports itself, Pikachu and Meowth away to a tower roof high up in the palace. Meowth plummets through the air and catches the roof, struggling to hold Pikachu up and commenting that maybe it should lay off of the Pokeblock.
Haha, Pikachu's fat!
Mew transforms into Pidgeot and flies down and grabs them up, flying them towards the mountains as the two Weavile return to Kit, who complains she should send them to Obedience School for trying to tackle instead of tag.
So she REALLY wasn't interested in catching it?
Inside the attic, Max breaks through the door as the ice melts on the other Pokemon, while down in the Ballroom a bored Ash tries again not to be bored out of his mind, looking at the staff and the portrait of Aaron holding it, saying it is weird to be holding something that is hundreds of years old. Again we see Lucario's view from within the staff, and again he talks inside of Ash's mind before Lady Eileen asks for him to give the sign for the fireworks to be set off as a final tribute. When Ash doesn't know what the sign is, the grumpy Lady in Waiting snaps at him to assume the pose seen in Aran's portrait.
Fireworks go off as the dance attendees watch in delight, and the Crystal Staff glows as a voice says that it "believed in him" and then glows bright, Ash struggling to hold it before it explodes with light and..... Lucario emerges from its prison after hundreds of years.
Still blinded by the dust and debris of hundreds of years earlier, Lucario looks about with its other senses, ears whirring like a hummingbird as it views auras and spots what it thinks is Sir Aran. It leaps forward and confronts him, demanding an answer, speaking inside his head, demanding to know why he abandoned the Queen. But Ash doesn't know what he is talking about, and finally Lucario manages to open its eyes, clearing its vision at last and seeing..... not Aran, but Ash.
It rushes away, and Lady Eileen and the old lady explain that Lucario was a Pokemon that was said to serve Sir Aran. Outside, Lucario spots the fireworks and tries to understand why they are celebrating when the Kingdom is under attack. It rushes to a tower where, hundreds of years earlier, Aaron brought it, telling it that it would live and train here, and learn to see auras as Aaron himself could. But now when Lucario steps inside, it finds a museum, the contents under glass. It hears a voice and turns to see the Queen, but then the lights are turned on and it realises she is not who it thought, it is Eileen and the twerps. She explains who she is, that the Queen - Lady Winn - was an ancestor of hers. She hugs it and tells it that it has been asleep a long time, but it cannot believe it, it was only days ago that it was sent to report on the armies.... but then it turns and looks at the contents of the museum, and realises it is true.
Lucario is taken to Eileen's throne, where she explains the legend of the great battle and asks for him to explain what really happened that day, as all they know is that Aaron traveled to the Tree of Beginning while Lucario simply disappeared. It explains telepathically about the ensuing destruction of the Kingdom, and discovers that Aaron was credited with stopping the war, and tells them that was impossible.... Aaron fled as a coward. Everyone is shocked to hear this, and Eileen promises to look into it to discover the truth (look into what? it's not like the truth is sitting in any history books somewhere, everything they know is based on Winn's guess that Aaron pleaded their case to Mew, and she's just gotten an eyewitness account of what happened from Aran's closest friend who was actually there on the day it happened!) then assures him that while much has changed, one thing remains the same, this palace is still its home.
Ash asks Lucario why it thought that he was Aran, could it have possibly been his Aaron costume? Lucario explains something different though, it views auras, and the aura it saw inside of Ash was the same as Aran's! Before this can be speculated on any further, however, we spot Jesse and James high up in a balcony overlooking the throne room, Jesse giggling that they should capture Lucario because she loves antiques. Then Max and the Pokemon come running in, Max excitedly telling them about what he saw happen in the attic, including Mew!
The Lady in Waiting interrupts to tell them that Max looks adorable in his costume, like a little doll, and he shouts that they're not paying attention. The others ask him where he saw Mew, and he explains that it disappeared with Meowth and Pikachu, then gawps in shock when he spots Lucario and finds out where it came from. Kidd appears back in her dress, telling them that she saw Meowth from the roof as well. Eileen and her Lady in Waiting tell them that Mew has a tendency to come and play in the Palace, stealing toys all the time and never to be seen again..... which shocks James who tells Jesse that maybe they'll never see Meowth again, and isn't too impressed that she ignores this facet of things to grunt that THEY'RE supposed to be the ones stealing.
Eileen leads the twerps out onto a massive viewing balcony which shows them the far distant Tree of Beginning. They explain to the twerps that it may look like a tree but is actually a massive rock formation, and as it has been around for time immemorial, they call it the Tree of Beginning. Eileen tells Ash that is where they will find Mew, but warns him that Mew can transform into anything, and it may be impossible to locate it.... except they have Lucario. They explain that the legend was that Lucario could use its Aura Sense to find anything or anyone, because of its ability to see the true aura inside of any shape. They ask Lucario to help them and it says it will be an honor, and then Kidd steps in wearing her body hugging lycra outfit and Brock blows a gasket, recognising her at last as Kidd Summers, someone he apparently seen on television many times.
May doesn't recognise her, until Brock grabs out a creepy stalker book that showcases that Kidd has set more world records than anyone in history, and then stands with shivering hands looking like he is desperate to fondle her boobs. Kidd explains that she came to discover the truth behind the mysterious Tree of Beginning, and wants to come with them, provided that THEY don't get in HER way.
So it seems that her and the organisation she is working with are not a criminal gang like Team Rocket after all - rather, "Banks" is her promoter/agent and works for her, not the other way around.
Later that night, Lucario enters the throne room to stare at the portrait of Sir Aran, when it hears a noise behind it and backflips high through the air, bouncing off of the wall and crashing into Ash, knocking him down.
Ash demands to know what it is doing, and it says he snuck up behind him, which is always a mistake. It tries to walk away, and Ash stops it to thank it for coming along to help him find Pikachu, and Lucario asks if he is Pikachu's Master. Ash explains that they are friends, which confuses Lucario, and when Ash asks if he has any friends, it replies it does not have any friends, nor does it want any.
The next day, Lucario rushes through the fog leading Kidd and the twerps in her zooming ACTION JEEP (which presumably she picked up in Des Moines, action capital of the world), while back at Cameron Palace, Eileen, Mime Jr and the Lady In Waiting watch from the balcony, Eileen asking the spirit of the Guardian to protect them on their journey.
Lucario continues leading the twerps on, Kidd explaining that despite the thick fog, Lucario can detect and see aura - the inner essence of all people. Long, long in the past humans could do it as well, like Sir Aran, but nowadays only Pokemon seen capable. But May remembers that Lucario saw a similar aura in Ash to Sir Aran, so maybe he can control aura too... at which point Ash smacks his head on the roof of the jeep and May and Max figure, maybe not. They continue driving on through the bumpy roads, while the boot of the jeep pops open and we see Team Rocket hiding inside, first Jesse and then James getting knocked out into the open air and using cartoon law to defy physics and rush back inside the boot, pulling it closed.
At the great rock formation of the Tree of Beginning, in what looks suspiciously like a giant tree and NOT a rock formation, Mew is flying around a sleeping Pikachu while Meowth looks through the toys that Mew has stolen over time. Further away, Brock has prepared a meal for everyone as they stop for a break, and as he hands over meals, an odd looking Pokemon grabs the dish he intended for Kit. He looks down at the odd looking armless Pokemon that appears to be made from wood and has three green bulbs on its head, like a Sudowoodo (which like the Tree of Beginning supposedly does, looks like a grass type but is actually rock. When Brock yells at it that he prepared that meal for Kit, it begins crying, causing Ash and May to snap at Brock for upsetting it, until Max identifies it as a Bonsly and says that it is using Fake Tears. Busted, Bonsly tries to cheese it with the grub, only for the dish to be grabbed off of its head, and it turns to find itself face to face with Lucario.
It tells Bonsly not to take things that don't belong to it, then gives it a flower and watches with a grin as Bonsly runs away, hides behind a rock and then peeks around the corner to watch them while it eats.
The sun comes through the clouds and shines down on the Tree of Beginning, and inside Pikachu wakes up and finds Mew happily flying around above it, wanting to play. As they rush about, Meowth wakes up and watches their routine, including Pikachu falling flat on its face after running off of a rock. Meowth grins and rests his arm against a tree... and falls through it! Pikachu and Mew follow after and find themselves in a bizarre tunnel with bubbles inside floating upwards. They travel upwards, Mew and Pikachu playing and Meowth trying not to lose his lunch, and then emerge through another tree trunk portal to the top of the Tree of Beginning, and are treated to a spectacular view.
Meanwhile, Lucario continues running along in the now sunny day, the jeep following and Bonsly hiding on the roof. Lucario stops ahead of a long path marked with powerful geysers, and as they ponder the obstacle, May looks to the side and spots what looks like a natural hotspring... and a chance for near naked action!
Before you know it, Squirtle, Corphish, Munchlax, Mudkip, Grovyle, Swellow, Phanpy, Combusken, Brock, Max and Ash are enjoying the steaming hot water. May emerges from the jeep in a two piece bikini....
Dodgemaster Tim note: Oddly, search engine statistics tell us that the above picture has been viewed 457% more than the Movie Guide it is a part of.... how odd.
Bonsly falls out off of the roof onto her head as Team Rocket prepare to sneak out of the boot and quickly have to shut themselves back in. May grabs Bonsly off her head and walks towards the water, Bonsly leaping off to hide behind Phanpy which is also not in the water, and Max explains to May that Bonsly won't like the water, being a Rock Type.
Ash tells Max he is too worried about Bonsly to really be enjoying the water too much, while Lucario watches the whole thing and remembers over 1000 years earlier (or a couple of years for it) when Aaron sat at this same Hot Spring and was convinced to dunk its feet by Aran. In the present, Ash calls for it to come into the water only for it walk away as if uninterested, and then May calls Ash and Max over, pointing out a glowing object up the side of the cliff that looks like a flower. Ash scrambles up to take a look and finds what looks like a crystal flower, but when he touches it, it glows and he falls backwards in shock, pulling the crystal loose and dropped twenty feet towards the water. Luckily May is beneath him though, arms out to save what is most important.... the crystal.
Ash steps up out of the water as May holds the flower in her hands, squeezing her boobs together and holding the crystal in a way that makes it look like a dildo. She tells Ash she didn't ask him to pick it, and they look at it closely and figure it can be replanted later. Lucario watches on, and remembers the past again, Sir Aaron telling it that it was a "Time Flower" and through the power of aura, it could be used to view the past.
After the twerps have finished the near naked action required to ensure high returns at the Japanese Box Office, they get redressed and prepare to plant the flower again. May hands Ash the Time flower, and it glows again, before suddenly they see once again Ash falling from the cliff into the hotspring. Kidd rushes up, telling them what the Time Flower is, and suggesting that if it works for Ash, it suggests he has the same aura as Sir Aran.
That night around the campfire, Ash talks about his relationship with Pikachu, explaining that they might be best of friends now, but when they first met things were very different. He tells about all the times Pikachu shocked him, then about their fight with the flock of Spearow that finally saw them come to terms with each other. As they continue chatting, Lucario listens on, and remembers once more its training with Aran, watching him blindfolded as he used Aura to dodge training logs set up to swing from trees. Once done, he blindfolded Lucario and told him to try it, saying he believed in him, and Lucario did just as Aaron had, dodging all the attacks. But in the present he growls that humans are all alike and can't be trusted and prepares to rush off, only for Ash to get in his face, demanding to know if Lucario really thinks it can't trust him - a strange boy from 1000 years in Lucario's future who it only met yesterday and has only had three conversations with!
Lucario tells Ash that if he had to, he would abandon Pikachu in a second, infuriating Ash who says there is no way he would do that. Lucario tells him his word means nothing and walks away, but Ash yells back that they only have his word for what happened, and for all they know, it was Lucario that abandoned Aran! Lucario is enraged and the twerps tell Ash this isn't helping, to which he counters,"He started it." Lucario hits back, though, claiming that for all they know Pikachu ran away from Ash because it couldn't stand the thought of having him as a master, and walks off again. Ash roars at it to take that back, then lunges onto Lucario and sends the two of them tumbling down the hill into the river for a straight out fistfight!
They tumble around in the river, then Lucario tosses Ash aside and leaps through the air to the hillside as Bonsly freaks out and runs away. Ash steps up dripping wet with water and staring with seething fury at Lucario.... then ruins the dramatic moment by letting loose a massive sneeze.
In the boot of the jeep, Jesse says she is sensing some rebellion amongst the twerps, and then James says his stomach is rebelling and he needs food and tries to crawl out of the boot, only for Jesse to drag him back in as Ash and May walk by, May admonishing Ash for causing problems and telling him that he said some pretty mean things to Lucario as well.
Meanwhile, Max brings Lucario one of the wonders of the modern world... chocolate! Lucario tries the odd substance and loves it, then stares at Max, wondering just what he wants.
Inside the Tree of Beginning, Meowth asks Pikachu if it would prefer to return to its twerpy friends, and when it agrees, Mew seems to panic and grabs a bunch of toys to play with, trying to distract Pikachu from wanting to return. Inside the jeep, the twerps are sleeping wrapped in blankets (Bonsly having not run off too far after all) when Ash suddenly wakes up and steps outside, staring at the distant tree and saying Pikachu's name to himself, watched by Lucario who was sleeping against one of the crystals still dotting the landscape.
The next day, Lucario leads them on at speed when the jeep suddenly brakes to a stop, Lucario having stopped running to stare at a rock formation. They ask what is wrong and he tells them it was here that Aaron trapped him in the staff. He drops to a knee asking why Aaron did it, and nudges a time flower set into the round. Suddenly the twerps are seeing Lucario's capture as it happened, and Aaron running away..... and leaping onto the back of his Pidgeot. The staff shakes and the twerps turn to see the image of the armies rushing to war, and Lucario starts blasting balls of energy at them, trying to stop the visions and succeeding only in nearly killing the twerps. Ash tells him to stop and Lucario is taken aback, nudging the time flower again and ending the vision. As Ash rushes towards Lucario, the twerps speculate that it seems Lucario was right, Aaron wasn't a hero, he betrayed the kingdom, Lucario and their trust.
Ash steps up beside Lucario and apologises for what he said the night before, and Lucario steps up and tells him to promise he will never abandon Pikachu, then suddenly his ears prick up as his Aura Sense kicks in, and he knocks Ash aside as the ground erupts and... holy shit, REGIROCK THE FUCK OUT OF NOWHERE!
It pitches the jeep at them, terrifying Team Rocket inside, then blasts Hyperbeams at the twerps, only to have it blasted back in its face by Lucario's Energy Balls. The smoke clears and the bizarre rock-Pokemon appears none the worse for wear, burrowing into the ground to follow the twerps into the deep canyon they've run into, leaving behind a confused Team Rocket.
At Cameron Palace, Eileen picks up Mime Jr and says she is worried too, even with Lucario, their quest could fail.
Inside the base of the Tree of Beginning, the twerps ask Lucario - which is using Aura Sense to direct them - why Regirock attacked them. It tells them that it was only a warning, and that Regirock is probably one of the tree's defenders, but what is worth defending inside a great big rock?
Oh.
The oasis is a hotbed of different Pokemon, and Kidd pops on her Dataset and looks around, while Lucario says that it can sense Pikachu high atop the tree. Ash starts running and May asks if he knows the way, and he replies back that all they have to do is go up! Lucario agrees, it seems that even dumb old Ash can figure that one out! They rush off, while Kidd pulls out what looks like a robotic snake, telling Brock it is her survey robots, and the segments of the "snake" break apart and form little rotors that fly around to look over the oasis.
She communicated with "Banks", showing him a visual representation of the oasis, and then she and Brock rush on up the tunnel after the others. Shortly after, Jesse and James rush in and look about the oasis filled with perhaps hundreds of Pokemon, including some thought to be extinct, and gasp that it is making them giddy... and then the ground beneath them explodes, and the gape in fear as the incomprehensible, alien-mind of Regirock surveys them.
The survey bots fly around recording samples of everything visually, as well as collecting physical samples...... until one is shattered by a Registeel, and another is consumed by the interior of the crystal it is trying to sample.
As Brock and Kidd catch up to Max and May, Banks tells her that according to the data he is getting, the Tree of Beginning is "alive", a part of the eco-system. Brock tells Kidd she is sure to get into the record books for this, but she tells him an important part of the puzzle is missing.... how does Mew fit into it all?
An alert sounds on Banks' equipment and he discovers that all of the Survey Bots are reporting alerts, while higher up, Ash and Lucario emerge onto an upper shelf of the tree. Ash takes a moment to look at the view, then calls out for Pikachu. It hears him and rushes off to find him, awaking Mew and Meowth that follow after him. Ash hears Pikachu calling out and struggles uphill, running and calling out and...... BOOM!
A motherfucking Regice blasts him off of his feet.
He stares up at the bizarre creature, and it blasts an Icebeam at him again, only for Lucario to block the blast. Ash tries to reason with the alien mindset of the bizarre robotic entity, but Lucario tells him there is no reasoning, and says they should backtrack. They rush back down the hill and encounter Kidd and the other twerps, Ash warning that Regice is coming. Lucario blasts it to distract it and they rush away, Regice's voice seemingly communicating slower as it recovers from the attack... a truly bizarre Pokemon. The tunnel they rush into it blocked with a burst of Ice, and they find themselves within a large rock cave, and emerging from a tunnel high up in one wall is Team Rocket, screaming for help before plummeting through the air to the ground before the twerps.
"You know we're desperate if we're coming to you!" moans Jesse to a surprised Ash.
"Those brutes keep trying to blast us!" cries James, and points up at Registeel and Regirock emerge from the tunnel. Lucario tells them to follow him and Team Rocket eagerly agree, James proclaiming,"Feets don't fail me now!"
Registeel and Regirock absurdly leap into the air and flap their arms, slowing their descent somehow before thundering into the ground, and Lucario blasts the ground in front of them to block their progress and shield his own escape. The twerps, Kit, Team Rocket and Lucario rush away up the hill, Jesse freezing to a stop boobs first as she realises they've reached a narrow rock bridge over a massive chasm.
The twerps bump into them and force them forward further, and as they rush over, Meowth spots them from further away. They reach the other side, Jesse and James falling to their hands and knees and crawling the rest of the way, before Lucario blasts a massive gap in the rock bridge to block Registeel and Regirock's progress.
Meanwhile, more of the Survey Bots are getting absorbed by the Tree of Beginning, while Jesse rushes on ahead of James, who begs her to wait for him. She stops and grunts that she wishes his legs moved as fast as his mouth, and then he squeals in terror and points behind her, as a bizarre red shaped.... thing.... approaches her. She clutches at the hem of her skirt and pulls it down, complaining that he is too alarmist, and then gets hauled up by the bizarre monstrosity. James calls out Cacnea to assist her, narrowly dodges its attempt to hug him, then orders Pin Missile that... goes right through it!
Jesse is progressively more and more absorbed into the great red mass, crying out that it thinks she is a snack, and then it disappears into the ground, taking Jesse with it. A massive red Omastar appears next, slamming into James and sucking him in, and he grabs out his Pokeball and releases Chimecho, telling it to save itself as he is absorbed into the ground.
The tunnel behind the horrified twerps explodes and Regirock appears, and the twerps quickly cheese it as Lucario blasts at the monster. They move on ahead only to find their way blocked by another red blob, this one taking on the form of Aerodactyl before it is blasted by Lucario's energy ball. He tells them to keep moving and they continue on, Kidd noting more of the blobs are coming out of the crystals. She asks Banks what it is, and he tells her it is essentially a blood cell, an antibody that is part of the Tree of Beginnings immune system, designed to keep out diseases and viruses. They continue on, and another blob tries to grab Kit, Lucario leaping into the way and getting absorbed.... and then the blob disappears, leaving Lucario behind. Kidd guesses that Pokemon aren't considered a danger to the Tree, and then Regirock and Registeel appear again, forcing them on the run once more.
They emerge from another tunnel to a fork, and Ash tells Kidd that he'll lead the two monstrosities away from the others. They rush off, but Lucario reminds behind, telling Ash that it won't go until he is reunited with Pikachu.... plus, you know, it's not actually at any risk since we now know the antibodies won't hurt it. Ash thanks Lucario and calls out Corphish and Grovyle, using a combination of Bullet Seed and Bubblebeam on Registeel and Regirock then telling them to cheese it, confusing the two Pokemon that thought they'd be fighting a battle. Grovyle hauls up Corphish and they run, Ash yelling at the odd alien Pokemon to follow him.
Meanwhile, Pikachu is attempting to find Ash, followed by Mew and Meowth, only for them all to be passed by the Antibodies. The blobs come down and grab up Max, then Brock, who manages to get out his Pokemon before they disappear. May drops to her knees in horror, then it grabbed up by the blobs herself and forced to toss out her own Pokemon before disappearing. Kidd runs, chased by the blobs, leaving behind the confused and now lonely Pokemon.
Ash hears Pikachu calling and rushes on up ahead despite Lucario's warning, and emerges over a massive chasm connected by great pillars of ice and heavy, high winds. Ash is blown from one pillar to another by the massive gusts, but refuses to give up, actually running sideways and then upside down for a moment as he crosses pillar to pillar, watched by Grovyle and Corphish, and then Lucario and Mew. A particularly heavy gust sees Ash running and then swimming in midair, before regaining his footing as Pikachu is blown through the air and Ash leaps high to catch it, finally reunited.... as both are blown through the air towards certain doom.
But as death seems certain, Kidd pulls a leaf out of Luke Skywalker's book and fires a grappling hook, swinging in and catching Ash and Pikachu and swinging them to safety. Lucario runs down to join them and Ash introduces Pikachu, and then Mew flies down and hands over Ash's cap, which had been blown away. Regice appears across the chasm and they run before they can get blasted by it, Ash asking what happened to the others and Kidd just giving him a grim look, before they look ahead and spot more of the strange antibodies approaching.
Meowth asks if Jesse and James were caught as well, moaning for his pals before they run up a side tunnel, Banks giving Kidd directions on how to get out. They rush up into a large crystal filled room with a hole in the centre leading to sunlight, and Lucario says it will try to find a way up to the top.... and Regirock appears out of nowhere, grabbing it up in its arms. Blobs appears out of nowhere and slam onto Kidd and Ash, and Kidd quickly calls out her Weaviles to free them before disappearing, while Ash release Phanpy and Swellow and tells Pikachu to try and get out, and that he lov-
Lucario bursts free in time to see Ash gone despite Pikachu and the others attempts to free it... they're all alone.
The Pokemon begin crying, and Mew brings Pikachu Ash's cap, but it just shakes its head, crying away. Mew stares, then suddenly glows green with energy and touches one of the crystals, diffusing the entire Tree of Beginning with a green glow of energy not seen in over a thousand years..... and throughout the tree, the twerps are returned from where they were caught, much to their Pokemon's delight!
The Regis stare, mutter away in their incomprehensible robotic/alien language and stomp away. Ash wonders why they were set free and Meowth explains that Mew talked to the tree and said they weren't germs, and Kidd finally understands the relationship between Mew and the Tree, they're symbiotic, relying on each other. But as she speaks, she notices another red glow in the crystals, while Mew brings Ash his hat back. He thanks it, but then Mew collapses to the ground, and the crystals continue to glow red and then start smoking, falling apart. Deep inside the Tree, Jesse and James stare around at the fresh hell they've found themselves in and call out for help, Meowth hearing and rushing to find them. The twerps call their Pokemon back, while Banks explains what he believes is happening to Kit, it seems that the Tree's Immuno-Response was too strong and has thrown the eco-system out of whack, and now it is failing..... and it's not just the Tree, but the crystals spread throughout the entire kingdom.
The sickly Mew manages to hover up and lead Ash and Kidd into a chamber where a massive crystal formation, and there Lucario sees a pair of gloves.... familiar gloves.... Aran's gloves. Lucario reaches out with his Aura Sense and, to his shock, sees Sir Aaron sitting in the centre of the Crystal Formation. Ash spots a Time Flower and reaches out to touch it, and they see the past, Aaron walking through the Chamber and calling for Mew, only to encounter a roaring Ho-Oh that then transforms to Mew and floats down to him. Aaron tells Mew that he knows that it and the tree are connected, and begs it to take his power of Aura and use it to stop the great war about to occur. It simply stares at him, so he lifts his hand and cries out for it to take the power, and releases it all onto Mew.
Lucario stares in shock, realising that for the 1000 years it was trapped in the Chamber, it was blaming Aaron for cowardice when he had actually sacrificed himself and spared Lucario to prevent him from following. Mew tells Lucario that they can use the power of Aura again, but Kidd warns that will place it in the same suspended state as Aran. He knows, though, and tries to give Mew his aura.... but it isn't enough, not strong enough.... until Ash pulls on Aran's gloves and says he will try to provide the same strength that Aaron once did. As the Tree falls apart all around them, Lucario and Ash strain and grunt to fill Mew with the power of their Aura, but it proves too much for Ash and he is knocked aside. Lucario looks back and tells Ash to leave it to him now, proclaiming that the aura is with it, and releases everything it has.
And it works.
Mew floods the tree with green energy, outracing the failing immune system, restoring the crystals throughout the entire Kingdom, and restoring the Tree of Beginning to full health. Deep inside of it, Team Rocket sit staring in surprise, guessing that everything is back to normal, which means they're back to being losers... until Meowth rushes to join them, leaping onto the delighted duo with a great big hug!
Inside the Crystal Chamber, Mew emerges apparently fit and healthy again, flying around Ash as Banks tells Kidd that they'll make a mint out of this. But Kidd says she doesn't want the Tree to be flooded with tourists and tells him they'll keep it quiet, despite his protests. She turns off her dataset, then they all turn as they hear Lucario grunt and see him collapses, crackling with energy. He drops against the pile of crystals, hitting a Time Flower that brings up the vision of Aaron after he too had saved the Kingdom and was suffering the same fate. Aaron collapses against the crystals and begins speaking, telling Lucario (in the past) that he is sorry he had to trap him, but if he didn't, Lucario would have followed him and suffered the same fate. He says he knows Lucario will be released one day into a safer, more peaceful world, and then says goodbye before disappearing. Lucario says his own goodbye, and then Ash grabs his paw, telling him he can still be saved, he didn't let them down, he proved himself a true Guardian of Aura. He disappears, and Ash and Kidd leave the chamber and reunite with the other twerps, explaining that Lucario left to be with an old friend. They say they can't believe it is gone, but Ash looks to the sky and says it will never be gone, it will always be with him.
And there, Gentle Dodgers, the movie ends, though as always, there is more to be seen in the closing credits. The twerps return to Cameron Palace in Kit's jeep, reunited with Eileen, Max spotting that the portrait of Aaron has changed to one of Aaron and Lucario. They leave the palace to the city on the Southern Side, traveling by sky carriage down, seeing Kidd waving goodbye and waving their own goodbye before she drives away to find a new record to break, while Brock breaks down into hysterical tears that she won't be there for him to leer at in her lycra any longer.
We see the interior of the Tree of Beginning, where the three Regis watch over the Pokemon in the Oasis, while Mew plays with its new friend, Bonsly, which remained behind to keep the lonely Pokemon company. We see Banks working out while chatting over the telecommunications satellite to Kidd at Farina, Butler and Diane from Jirachi Wishmaker eying her up as she checks out the home of Jirachi.
We see the twerps moving through a city street, watched from above by Team Rocket, including Meowth who falls over the side and only saves himself at the last second with his claws on the basket.
And though it isn't the last thing we see (that would be the twerps moving along a lovely seaside path towards another city), this guide will end on what we feel is the best point to end this movie. In the fog, Aaron stands beside Lucario, reunited in another world, together again - is this heaven? Is it another dimension? Is it merely the mental landscape of the crystalline network that runs throughout the entire Tree of Beginning that they have become part of? Perhaps it is all of those things, but for Aaron and Lucario, it must be heaven. Why? Because they're together again.... and more importantly, because..... they have chocolate.
| BEST QUOTES |
 "You know we're desperate if we're coming to you!" "Feets don't fail me now!" |