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Pokemon 6: Jirachi Wishmaker
Carnies Can't Be Trusted |
"I got it," he said, and lifted the large silver case.
"Excellent," I chuckled, taking it from him and opening it to remove an item from inside. Sealing the briefcase back up, I handed it back to him.
"All mine?" Brandon asked, a hopeful look on his face.
"All yours, my friend," I smiled,"The money, the mansion, the car, everything. I have what I want from the deal."
I walked away and heard Brandon laugh. FINALLY he'd gotten the best out of a deal between us, it seemed only fair to him after all considering the last several deals we'd worked together on. He drove to his new home, calling a friend on his phone as he parked and got out of the car, telling them he had the case and-
The shot hit him in the leg and he went down crying out in pain, crashing into the gravel beside the car. Gasping in pain, he crawled towards the house, only for a suited blond man to step up beside him on the steps.
"Wh... who?" he started to ask, and the man answered.
"The name's Bond. James Bond."
And on the train heading out of the country across the border towards the coast of France and eventually a return to New Zealand, I held what I'd removed from the case close to my chest. At last I had it.
Pokemon 6: Jirachi Wishmaker.
In black space a giant Pokeball approaches, and then becomes the world as a narrator tells us all about the world of Pokemon and the amazing creatures that inhabit it. As he speaks, we see a Ho-Oh flying high above the clouds; then badass Batman Mewtwo standing with cape fluttering in the wind as he looks over a city at night; a Lugia leaping free from the ocean; an Entei leaping through a volcano; Celebi fluttering through the forest; Latios and Latias flying through canals; and a Kyogre deep within the ocean.
And then we see a trainer sending out his Pokemon in a two on two battle at a Pokemon Tournament battle; then various humans playing with Pokemon before we hear about those humans who have less noble goals in mind, to capture Pokemon and take control of them for themselves... including Team Magma, who dream of taking control of the legendary Groudon, a massive Pokemon born in THE VERY HEART OF THE VOLCANO'S VERY BIRTHPLACE IN THE MAGMA OF THE EARTH ITSELF!
And that is where the movie begins today, with a man obsessed with finding Groudon finding instead a mysterious black crystal that may finally grant him his wish.
But as all this mysteriousness goes on, elsewhere Ash Ketchum continues his seemingly endless journey to become a Pokemon Master. And here is where this movie differs from all the rest, Gentle Dodgers, because where Ash was once joined by Brock, Misty or Tracey as his constant companions, now things are different. Ash and Brock are now journeying through the Hoenn Region, and have been joined by the Brother/Sister duo of May and Max - the Jailbait and the Jerk. They've settled down on a clifftop clearing overlooking the ocean with the forest at their backs, Brock preparing a meal for the humans as the humans feed their Pokemon. May has a Beautifly and a Torchic; Brock has a Mudkip and a Lotad; and Ash has - as always - Pikachu, plus a Taillow, a wide-eyed Corphish and a Treecko.
Max has.... nothing.
Later that night Brock leads the twerps through the forest as they look out for what is called the Millennium Comet, and a festival coming up soon. They start running when Brock tells them they're near, but when they crest the ridge they find.... nothing! The festival is supposed to be held at the massive clearing before them, but there is nothing there!
They settle down to eat a meal around their campfire as the narrator explains the Millennium Comet only appears once in a thousand years (pretty lucky that is the name then!) and only for seven days. Once they've fed, they settle down to sleep, only to be awoken shortly after when trucks awaken them and they see a massive convoy riding in with lights and rides and giant Pokemon-themed tents.... it's the Millennium Comet Festival!
They rush amongst the set up, watching with wonder as bored carnies do their word, and a flamboyant looking purple haired man in a light blue tuxedo steps out of his trailer and opens a chest and waves a wand to cause giant balloons to pop out and bounce about on the field before being swatted aside by the fan of a pretty young lady, and they bounce away, pop and.... form a self-building Big Tent!
Tracks are laid down as the sun starts to rise, all the work done in an eerie silence, and as the tracks are laid down a train rides after it, bringing with it the people the carnies are setting up to swindle.... to entertain!
The twerps take advantage of their early arrival to beat the lines onto the Bumper Cars, and as Brock tries desperately to convince a pretty girl to knock bumpers with him, outside a trio of clowns happily throw out brochures and fliers for various rides and attractions. But these are no ordinary clowns, they're Team Rocket! Yes they've found legitimate temporary employment amongst the carnies, and they're loving it, what could be easier than simply flinging fliers about!?!
Oh, and cleaning manure up... whatever THAT means!
Their good humour suddenly departs though when they spot the twerps picking up one of their fliers, and they cheese it before he can spot them and accuse them of having stolen their costumes and raped a rainforest to make the fliers. Ash only has eyes for the flier though, advertising a magic show in the Big Show Tent, and insists they go and take a look.
Inside, The Great Butler - the purple haired man they saw the previous night - puts on a show for him assisted by Team Rocket as his clowns/assistants. He makes a Kirlia appear, then seals it up in a box and sets it on fire only for the pretty lady to appear from the smoke holding a purple crystal formation that she holds up, shining light across the audience and startling Max when he seems to hear words in his mind telling him "wish" and "the stars" before the light fades. As May sits lapping her tongue over her ice cream cone, Brock for once isn't paying attention as he instead declares he has found the perfect career, making pretty girls appear out of nowhere!
The Great Butler thanks them for their applause and introduces the beautiful assistant as Dianne before also thanking his Kirlia and Mightyena.... but Max isn't listening, he is still hearing the voice in his head talking about the comet and saying it wishes he was inside the purple crystal fragment with it. He gets up and charges down onto the stage followed by Ash, and after mentioning to Dianne he heard voices, she shares a knowing look with The Great Butler and then insists that Ash and Max are their newest volunteers, and tells them they're going to stick them in a burning box!
And it's Team Rocket who have brought the box in!
Welp Ash, I always kind of suspected our relationship would end with you screaming as the flesh melted off of your bones.
They settle into the box as it is closed up and Team Rocket spin it about, then Dusclops staggers in as The Great Butler reveals they only have ten seconds to escape before Dusclops destroys the box with Hyperbeam!
"Woah, dey're stuck in a dark place with impending doom and no way out!" gasps Meowth as he controls the spotlight from up in the rafters,"Dat sounds like my life!"
Ash and Max inside are trying to figure out how to get out as the count reaches 1 and Dusclops blasts out a Hyperbeam and the box explodes.... as Ash and Max are sent flying down an underground set of rails before being bounced up into the stands where the distracted audience are catching bouquets sent flying out of the explosion. The Great Butler credits Ash and Max - whom he has been calling "Magicians" - with creating the bouquets as the spotlight flashes onto the perplexed duo who stare about at the cheering, clapping crowds. They run back up onto the stage and Ash waves happily, enjoying the attention and.... Pikachu gets grabbed by the clowns on a trapeze, trapping it in an electric proof "zaptrap" orb.
It's Team Rocket!
The trapeze lifts to reveal that Kirlia and Mightyena have been caught in a net. Meowth hits a switch to open the roof of the great "tent" and then leaps onto the trapeze as Jesse and James laugh that the carnies can keep their salary, they're taking their payment in Pokemon!
A furious Ash makes to grab at a Pokeball, but The Great Butler stops him, announcing that he'll save the day. He calls out to the crowd that he has one final performance for the encore, and has Dusclops blasts Team Rocket with smokey energy that drops Pikachu free, allowing it to Thunderbolt Team Rocket and drop Kirlia and Mightyena into the crowd before Dusclops uses Nightshade to send Team Rocket blasting off again... and the crowd thinks it is all part of the show!
As the crowds leave to continue on the rides, The Great Butler explains to the twerps that he believes the purple crystal formation holds a Jirachi inside - a mysterious Pokemon. He explains that for a Jirachi to come out of its slumber, it needs the Millennium Comet to appear and then someone to be a friend. Max is astonished while May makes an only somewhat sarcastic comment that Max has made friends with a rock, and Max snaps angrily at her that she is just jealous. The Great Butler hands the formation over to Max who angrily hugs it to himself when May tries to touch it and runs away when she asks for just one little touch...
Brock is storing this audio feed away for use "later".
As the day ends and the festival continues, the twerps walk through the stalls as various carnies attempt to scam people into giving good money for shoddy merchandise. One such item catches May's eye, a "Wishing Star" that a muscled carnie insists will grant you your wish if you just make the same wish every day of the seven days that the Millennium Comet is visible and fold one of the sections of the seven sided star. May instantly falls for it and insists she wants to buy one, which probably means that Brock reaches for his wallet. After all, if he's ever going to have a chance of sex with jailbait, it's likely to be at a carnival in the middle of nowhere.
Fireworks in the shape of Pokemon go off and Max asks the crystal formation if it can see the fireworks, and then they head outside of the fairgrounds to stare up at the sky as the lights go off. It seems cloudy, but they eventually clear and the twerps finally get a look at the comet.... and it's a pretty impressive sight!
May takes out her wishing star and folds down a section as they ponder what the Earth must look like from up there and how lucky they are to have been there for the once in a thousand years event. But all the excitement seems to have tuckered out Max, who has fallen asleep wrapped up with the crystal. May sits down beside him and strokes his hair and he whispers,"Mummy," which makes her smile.
If anyone else said that while she was stroking their hair, she probably wouldn't be best pleased!
She starts humming a little nonsense song that their mother used to sing them, stepping back up onto the rock.... and suddenly the crystal formation begins to glow! Max sits up awake as Ash and Brock leap to their feet and May stares from her seat on the rock.
They all hear Jirachi talk, or rather, they hear telepathy, while elsewhere in the forest light shines through the trees in the direction of the crystal formation, spotted by an Absol watching from high. Back with the twerps, the crystal seems to take in the light floating towards it and then the crystal lifts high into the air, glows bright and.... Jirachi is revealed!
It talks to them telepathically, saying hello as Diane rushes up and spots the odd little Pokemon. She tells them to camp out in the old bus as she heads off to tell The Great Butler, whom she finds standing on the stage. When she tells him Jirachi is there, though, his reaction is not the heartwarming lovey-dovey one you would expect from one of the "good guys". In fact, his reaction is almost maniacal as he roars that Jirachi will be the star of their greatest show, and calls up odd technological looking devices from within the stage itself!
Inside the bus, Max asks if Jirachi can really grant wishes and then tries to think of one as May and Ash ask if they can ask too, and he shouts at them that he'll go first. Max asks for candy, lots and lots of candy! May thinks this was a stupid wish, but when nothing happens Max insists that he knew that wishes couldn't be granted anyway.... and then candy appears in his lap!
He stares at the bag of candy in surprise, and then Jirachi begins crying out,"CANDY! CANDY!" in their minds as it flies around and candy begins falling out of the air, bags and boxes of the stuff.
There's just one problem, the candy isn't coming from nowhere, it's disappearing from the stand of one of the carnies!
Not knowing this, May and Ash want their wish granted next, but then Brock pops his head out of the candy and insists he wishes for lots of girls, and then everyone starts arguing, actually grabbing Jirachi and tugging back and forth on it before the bus's back door opens and all of the candy spills out along with the twerps. The Great Butler and Diane show up and Butler is desperate to know where Jirachi is, and Max pulls it out of the candy with a grin.
Max explains he wished for lots and lots of candy and the wish was granted, but Diane notes that the candy comes from one of the Festival stands. Butler smiles, saying that Jirachi can use Teleport, so it probably teleported the candy to them. As they take this in, May appears out of the candy boxes angrily and shoves a long, hard brown shaft between her lips, moaning that she is free at last!
It's her eighteenth birthday all ready!?!
Oh no, she's just eating candy!
Once she finds out that the candy isn’t free she becomes furious and demands that Jirachi get rid of the problem, and it agrees, thinking in their heads,"Get rid.... of problem!" and May disappears!
ZING!
Ash and Brock rush into the candy pile to pull her out when they hear her crying out, while Jirachi falls asleep and Butler assures him that it is just tired from its long sleep, but it shouldn't go back into hibernation until the seven days of the Millennium Comet are up.
The next morning finds Max creepily lying in the bed staring at the sleeping Pokemon, which makes up and seems to still be tired and weary, but quickly zips up when it recognises Max, calling him "Wishmaker" as it flies through the air and up onto his head.
Meanwhile the twerps have been put to work by the carnies, who know a freeloader when they see one and are determined they'll be the only ones to get something for nothing out of this festival. Ash and Brock have been made into clowns to replace Team Rocket, and as Brock tells Diane she looks great, Max runs by with Jirachi telling them they're going to play, and May calls out to him to be careful. Ash comments that Max and Jirachi are like brothers, freakish brothers of different species with an age difference of 1000 years, and May smiles at the thought.
Max and Jirachi head out on a series of different rides, greatly enjoying themselves as from afar they're watched by Team Rocket in their Happy Buddha Face Meowth Balloon. Jesse is enthralled, she has heard that Jirachi can grant wishes, and Meowth points out that they can teleport stuff too. James giggles that maybe their first wish should be that it doesn't teleport away when they catch it, and Jesse becomes enraged at her bumbling sidekicks, screaming furiously at them that they might only get one wish so she isn't going to waste it on something so stupid dammit!
Maybe she'll wish for shoes!?!
As the camera pulls away from their Happy Buddha Face Meowth Balloon hiding in plain sight amongst the other balloons in the sky, Jesse declares that they'll simply wish for 100 more wishes! But James still isn't sure, what if it DOES teleport away from them!? All of which leads Meowth to mutter that he wishes he could teleport away from the two of them.
As the sun sets, Absol rushes up onto the rocks looking over the festival and growls.
Inside the tent, May is pushing a scaffold forward when it hits a block and starts to tip over. She rushes around to the front and holds it up, but its weight is too much for her so Max rushes to help her. As he is pushing though, Jirachi flits up and giggles that they need to play some more, and pulls off Max's glasses and takes off with them. Gasping in shock, Max chases after Jirachi and leaves behind May who collapses under the weight of the scaffold, tearing down a black curtain backstage and catching Ash, Brock, Diane and Butler's attention. They rush up as May emerges from under the black curtain grumbling that Jirachi is "what happened", while Max catches the laughing Pokemon and pops his glasses back on beside a nearby full-length mirror. He spots a tear in the roof of the tent and wonders what caused it, and then suddenly a low growl emanates from behind the mirror which suddenly shatters, revealing.... Absol!
It chases after the terrified Max and Jirachi, sending crescents of white energy from the single horn on the side of its head. Max rushes out onto the main stage followed by first Absol, then the others, May calling out Torchic to try and knock away Absol with Ember. Butler notes that Absol only appears before times of great tragedy, and Pikachu blasts the Pokemon back off of its feet when Torchic's Ember proves to have little impact.
Jirachi thinks into Max's head that Absol is here for it, and suddenly Pikachu and Torchic disappear, teleported to high above the tent as they plummet through the air and bounce off the rubbery surface of the balloon like great tent.
Absol turns and glares at the others all of a sudden and a panicked Brock asks if it hates clowns as it charges. Everyone but Butler looks panicked as the magician hits a button his cane and sends the Absol plummeting through a trapdoor, which then lifts up to reveal Absol is now inside of a cage. Butler calls out Kirlia and has it use Hypnosis, putting Absol to sleep as Pikachu and Torchic rush back out onto the stage to Ash and May.
Max tells them that Jirachi said Absol was here for it, but Brock doesn't understand how they could know each other, after all, Jirachi has been asleep for 1000 years. They look to Jirachi for answers, but all it can say is that it is sleepy, and it conks out again, leaving the without answers.
That night as the twerps sleep, May rushes out to the rock where she first saw the comet and pulls out the Wishing Star to fold down the next segment. As she makes her wish, she spots Butler walking away from the bus. He moves into the big show tent where he is revealed to have taken Jirachi, and lays it down on the odd technological machines as Diane tells him that Absol has come to take Jirachi back to where they found the crystal formation, and it was wrong of them to take it. But Butler insists that he knows what he is doing, and hits the oddly multi-purpose button on his cane. The machine powers up and glows purple as strange air distortions lift Jirachi up into the air, and Butler reveals his plan.
His.... EVIL PLAN!
Yes it seems that Butler is a former member of Team Magma, a man who was convinced that with a fossilised piece of Groudon he could recreate the powerful Pokemon. But when he tried to show his peers in Team Magma, the machine became overheated and blew up before the clone could be made, and he was mocked for his "mumbo jumbo" science. Kicked out of Magma, Butler vowed he would recreate Groudon no matter what, and in Jirachi he believes that he has the key to do so. When it looks at the Millennium Comet with its "true eye" he wants it to take in all the power it can and power his machines to recreate Groudon!
Diane watches with concern and Absol bashes against its cage as Butler sets up his machines with Jirachi in one power feeder and the fossilised Groudon fragment in the other, then orders Jirachi to open its true eye. It replied - in obvious pain - that it does not want to, but he laughs that it has no choice and orders Dusclops to use Psychic.... and Jirachi's true eye opens.
May, meanwhile, is trying to wake up Ash, telling him that Jirachi is gone. Max rushes around in a panic looking for it, and then heads outside with the others as Jirachi's true eye fully opens and blasts a beam of energy into the Millennium Comet, which then returns full blast and shatters the stage, blowing Butler backwards and destroying his machines as the twerps arrive on the scene and Max spots Jirachi lying at the epicenter of the blast.
Max scoops it up as Butler stands up and seems delighted, he wasn't expecting such power but once he figures out how to harness it, he'll be able to achieve his dreams. He orders Max to hand over Jirachi but he refuses, and then Diane rushes to Butler's side and pleads with him that it isn't too late to change his course of action. He snaps back he is doing this all for her but she cries she never wanted this, and then Max takes the decision out of his hands by trying to run. He orders Dusclops to grab Max with it's psychic power, but Ash has Pikachu blast it with Thunderbolt, sending Max and Jirachi falling against the batter cage holding Absol. Jirachi moans that it wishes it was home in Farina, and when Max asks where that is, the other call at him to cheese it with them. They rush off and Butler orders Dusclops to stop them, but Absol tears out of its cage and blasts Dusclops and Butler back, then rushes away. Butler staggers up and calls out Mightyena, while outside Diane takes the twerps to the bus and drives them the hell out of there, watched from up in the air by Team Rocket and - momentarily only before Jesse recalls it - Wobbuffet. As the bus drives away, Mightyena catches up to the back of it long enough to slap a homing beacon on it before it pulls away.
Diane asks about what Jirachi said regarding Farina, explaining that she and Butler found it some time ago. She tells them about Butler's past with Team Magma as a scientist and his obsession with Groudon, but Max can't understand what this has to do with Jirachi. She explains that Jirachi was able to tap into the power of the Millennium Comet, and May - no scientific genius - figures out pretty quickly that this will only hurt Jirachi. They drive on into the night, their destination? Farina!
Butler watches back at the Festival Grounds and can clearly see what their destination is going to be, and growls that he thought Diane of all people would understand. He once again hits the surprisingly multi-purpose button on his cane, and one of the festival rides becomes the vessel in which he will pursue them.
The next morning the bus continues driving on through the blasted, barren desert landscape. It seemed battered and dented by the rough rode, though the passengers find amusement where they can when Ash is bounced off of his seat by the bumpy ride. The bumps also have a beneficial effect, as the homing beacon is knocked clear.
That night they pause in their journey, and May once again closes a segment of the Wishing Star. Ash, Max, Jirachi and Pikachu sleep by a campfire as Brock mixes up something in a bowl, while May reenters the bus and finds Diane looking at the flier for their show. She tells May that she knew Butler since they were kids, and flashes back to the first magic show he put on for her, making Beautifly's come out of a box. She tells May that she hasn't seen Butler laugh the way he did as a boy for a long time, and how she hopes that once the comet is gone, the real Butler will come back.... and Absol watches over them all from high on a cliff.
The next day, the twerps stare nervously out a window as they drive around the narrow winding cliff-side roads, followed in the air by Team Rocket eating noodles. They get stuck in the mud and have to push their way free, getting a good mudbath in the process.
That night May closes another segment and makes her wish again, watching as Ash and Max skip stones along the river they have set up camp by. The next day Jirachi laughs with Max as they drive along, but then Max seems to become upset, and Jirachi can't understand why, seemingly not realising that their time is - one way or another - drawing to a close.
That night they settle by a beautiful mountain lake setting and May approaches another boulder to close the next segment of her Wishing Star and make her wish, noting there are only two nights left. But Max appears from nowhere to growl at her to quit counting all ready, and runs off to the shore of the lake followed by Ash.
Ash settles down beside Max and tells him that they've got the rest of their lives together, no matter if there are only two more days. He explains that truly best friends are always with each other no matter what. He then mentions that he had a best friend once that left him, and he MISSES HER EVERYDAY but knows they'll always be friends forever.
Deep down in the primordial ooze, a leviathan shifts in the tar that had threatened to swallow it forever. A burst of gases is released from around its side as it moves and shifts, exposing a gaping maw thought sealed forever.
And the monster known as AAML lets loose a bloodcurdling roar, announcing to the world that it isn't dead yet!
The next day continues their rocky journey, heading between the tall walls of canyons before they drive out onto a cliffside and see Farina stretching out before them, and it's quite a sight!
They leave the bus and walk through the forest past various Pokemon, Jirachi asking Max if he likes it. That night, May closes the second to last segment and makes her wish as Max and Jirachi have a tug of war with a stick. May returns to the campsite and insists that Max and Jirachi go to sleep since they have such a big day ahead of them tomorrow. He settles down with Jirachi and whispers to it that once the others have gone to sleep they'll get back up and play. What they don't seem to count on though is the fact that Max is like eight years old or something, and when May starts singing their mother's lullaby, they fall asleep.
The next day they continue on foot once more, and encounter Absol, which leads them on the way. As the sun sets, the badass wolf-looking Pokemon leads them on as various different Pokemon seem to form a guard of honour around them. May guesses that they're welcoming Jirachi back home as Absol leads them into a cave, Diane lighting a lantern as they enter the darkness inside. Diane tells them they're nearly at the spot where Jirachi slept for 1000 years, and Absol leaps ahead as they find an opening in the cave showing the Millennium Comet high above them. Jirachi starts to fly up into the air saying that the "star" is calling it, but Max grabs it back down and tells it that he doesn't want it to leave, if it can really grant wishes, he wishes it could stay with him forever. But Jirachi tells Max that it must go, and as it lifts into the air and opens its true eye, Diane explains what is happening. Jirachi will absorb the energy of the Millennium Comet and then go back into hibernation, and over the next 1000 years that energy will slowly be meted out into Farina, allowing everything to grow and flourish.
Jirachi's eye has opened, but before what must happen can, metal spikes tear through the walls of the cave and blast Jirachi with purple energy, surrounding it in an orb. The hole in the cave roof expands as a black sheet is pulled away, that oldest of magician's tricks - misdirection - having fooled even Diane. Butler stands atop the floating vessel grinning with delight as Jirachi is lifted up in a crackling orb beside him.
They demand he let it go, but he isn't hearing what they're saying, only interested in having an audience for his own performance. He tells them that any regular magician would make a Pokemon disappear for a finale, but he means to make one appear. He places Jirachi into his machine as energy zaps down around the twerps, and once again Jirachi's true eye blasts a beam of blue light to Millennium Comet. Team Rocket float in on their Happy Buddha Face Meowth Balloon, and Meowth asks the obvious.
"See dat?" he asks.
"Do you think I'm blind?" whispers Jesse in awe.
"That would explain the hair," notes James - quietly.
Millennium Comet returns the energy to Jirachi, but this time Butler is prepared for it, and uses the absorbed energy to begin rebuilding a Groudon from the ground up.
The twerps meanwhile are trapped in the energy field, unable to blast their way out, when Absol appears with a Flygon and smashes the spikes feeding the cage. Ash, Pikachu and Max leap onto the Flygon and fly up into the air towards the suspended lab, noting the Groudon diagram is nearly completion. Spotting them, Butler calls out a Salamence, ordering it to keep them away from him until his plan is completed.
The two duck and weave about each other, Butler leaping onto Salamence's back and giving chase as Flygon dart about between the massive rock pillars, and Ash proves that maybe he IS a magician when he uses misdirection and distraction himself, dropping Max and Pikachu onto the Suspended Lab while he and Flygon distract Butler. Pikachu blasts Jirachi free and then Ash picks them up, Jirachi's true eye closing and its other eyes opening as it cries out Max's name in delight. They land near Diane, Brock, May and Absol and May asks if he is okay as well and hugs him, telling him she was worried.
Unfortunately, their safety may not be a permanent thing, as the flow of energy from Jirachi to the Groudon diagram was not closed off soon enough.
Groudon lives again!
Or does it? As it storms through the canyon, plants and trees die all around it, the suspended lab torn from its moorings, and even Butler seems shocked as opposed to delighted, as he mutters that the giant Groudon looking Pokemon ISN'T Groudon!
Absol charges towards the lumbering monstrosity and blasts a crescent of energy at it, and it turns to glare at the small white thing that has given it pause. Its mouth opens and lava seems to be inside, and then its claws.... turn to water! Tentacles lunge out and grab up Absol, and then watery tentacles burst out of the abomination's sides and grab and catch multiple Pokemon, hauling them inside of itself. Salamence lands and Butler steps off, staring in horror at the monstrosity he has caused, telling Diane that that he has no idea what to do, no tricks up his sleeves.
Even Team Rocket - watching from above - have figured that now isn't the best time to drop in, but before they can leave, the monster grabs them and sucks them inside of itself! Butler staggers forward moaning that it isn't Groudon, it's evil, pure evil... and then a watery tentacle lunges towards him. Diane leaps into the way and gets grabbed, and apparently it drives you insane as well, because she starts smiling and tells Butler she's glad that his face will be the last she sees.
Yeah, the face of the asshole who caused all this trouble!
The tentacles come after the twerps next, and as is inescapable when tentacles and a Japanese cartoon get together, they go after the young girl first! May and Brock are hauled up by the watery tentacle and pulled away, then lunge at Ash and Max, grabbing them, Pikachu and Jirachi and hauling them back.... only for Jirachi to teleport them clear. Enraged at having its will thwarted, the Groudon-monstrosity tries again, but Jirachi continues to teleport them clear, and then a burst of Flamethrower from Salamence creates a wall of flame to hold them back. Butler warns them that the Groudon wants Jirachi's Energy, and fights to hold the tentacles back as Flygon lands and picks up Ash and Max, flying them back into the cave chased by the tentacles. They almost get it but Jirachi teleports them clear, and Butler flies up beside them and tells them he has a plan after all. They have to trust him though, Jirachi should be able to absorb the energy inside the Groudon-Abortion, but they have to strap it back onto the lab first. Ash pulls Flygon slightly away and growls that he doesn't know if he can trust Butler.
After all, the guy is an ASSHOLE!
But then the choice is taken from him when Salamence is captured and Butler falls towards his death, only for Jirachi to teleport Salamence clear and catch him. Jirachi thinks to them that he can't be all bad, he DOES love Diane, and they make their decision.
Landing far from the monstrosity, they set upon their course of action. They'll do everything they can to distract it while Butler gets the lab set back up and "reverses the polarity" which is also known as "Science Fiction Plot Device #13A". He rushes about on the lab as it shifts about uncomfortably, and one shift causes him to pitch over and drop the Groudon-Fossil piece. It falls towards destruction, but then Ash catches it as Flygon zooms in under it, and they set it into place as Jirachi moves into position and Flygon and Salamence try to keep it distracted. Butler tries to hit the final switch but again the lab shifts and he almost pitches off, only catching the mooring pylons at the last second. Salamence and Flygon are captured as Ash rushes to the switch and hits the button, telling Jirachi that it is up to it and then...... the monster screams!
The Groudon-Monstrosity tries to grab Jirachi, but Butler leaps into the way and is sucked up inside of the monster, which scrams and roars as it feels its energy being sucked away. In death throes it blasts its tentacles at them and Pikachu Thunderbolts them away, and in the final desperate attempt to save its cursed life, it slams its belly against the cliff above them and begins to drip its liquidating body over the now crashing suspended lab, the viscous liquid pooling and surrounding Jirachi, Ash and Max..... TOO LATE!
The massive energy with Jirachi at its centre lifts the monstrosity high into the air, evaporating it to nothing before exploding and raining energy down over Farina, and restoring the captured Pokemon
Butler teleports on the ground and Diane moments later, and he rushes to her side where she hugs him. Ash, Brock, Max and May all teleport back into place, and they look up into the centre of the light, which drifts down to reveal Jirachi before them. It hugs Max and they tell each other they're both the best, and Jirachi tells him he made lots of wishes and it granted them, but now it has one more wish. It is so tired, it would like to hear that lullaby song again.
May starts, then Brock and Ash join in, then Max, all of them singing the nonsense "doo-de-doo" song as Butler and Diane watch on in each other's arms and Absol stares on absolutely fucking confused. Jirachi thanks them, saying it couldn't have wished for more, and then it becomes a crystal formation once more and sinks into the ground, returning energy in waves to all of Farina as Max says goodbye with tears in his eyes.
And sitting right at the top of one of the massive rock pillars sit an astonished trio, Team Rocket! They gasp that they're not sure WHAT they've just witnessed, maybe it was just one of the magician's tricks after all... but they feel that their wishes may have been granted after all. All three speak together, if they had but one wish, it would be to always feel like THIS!
And that's FABULOUS!
The next day, Butler and Diane tell them they will be staying in Farina, having finally figured out what is really important, being together. May is excited, Diane finally got her wish! They offer to give the twerps a lift back to a semblance of civilisation, and as they walk off, Ash asks May what Diane's wish was, and she replies that her lips are sealed. He quips that this would be a first, and then Brock asks May about her own wish on the Wishing Star, and in shock May realises that she got all the way to the final night and forgot to close the final segment!
Carnies win again!
They all decide that you have to make your own wishes come true, and it wouldn't be fair (or fun) to expect something to grant your wishes for you. They head off to join Butler and Diane, but Max waits back a moment and hears what he was hoping to hear, the voice of Jirachi in his head once more telling him that it will never forget him, they'll be best, best friends forever and ever. Max grins, then rushes to join the others.
And so it is all over bar the shouting, or rather, the musical closing. We see the barren lands in Farina, but then the energy coming from Jirachi's hibernation place preparing to feed energy to the land for the next 1000 years. Then we see the twerps trudging on alongside a river only for May to drop down and moan she doesn't want to walk any further.... and the carnie who sold her the fake Wishing Star to pull up alongside them and offer them a lift! So they head along in style in the back of his truck.
That night we see them lying on their backs staring at the sky and pointing out the constellation of various Pokemon, like a Teddiursa and Ursaring, or more bizarrely a Machoke holding a Seviper for some reason! The next day (or another day) we see them moving through a road surrounded by fields, and a castle in the far distance. They watch seed pods lift into the air before we see another constellation, this one a Gligar, and the next a Kyogre. They stop off by the side of the beach where they strip into their togs and May gets to show off another of the two pieces that Brock is only too happy to buy her while Corphish skitters wildly about on the rocks. They reach another town at night and watch Pokemon Fireworks let off, creating smaller versions of constellations, before we see another of the real deal, this time a Gardevoir, followed by a Pikachu (made of only one star!).
And then it ends with the twerps on a high mountain path staring out across a beautiful mountain landscape, and that seems as good a place to end both the movie and this guide. It was a movie that was both a buddy picture and a road movie. The action was spread out over a week as opposed to one action packed night, and perhaps because of this it felt like a movie you could be more invested in than usual. And didn't the new kids do well? May and Max actually had a purpose to be in this movie as opposed to hanging out in the background holding an egg and not saying anything.
This may have been the sixth Pokemon Movie, but it has also been the first with the "new" cast, and hey.... didn't they do a great job!
| BEST QUOTES |
 ""Woah, dey're stuck in a dark place with impending doom and no way out! Dat sounds like my life!""""See dat?" "Do you think I'm blind?" "That would explain the hair."
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