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Pokemon 7: Destiny Deoxys
Putting all your faith in a high-tech fully automated security system is NEVER a good idea |
"Every bloody time it's ME who gets tortured or beaten or left for dead or interrogated," he snapped grumpily,"Well not this time, I have a plan! First thing we're gonna do i-"
A shark leapt out of the pool beside us and grabbed him roughly in-between its jaws, shaking him around roughly before pulling him into the water and disappearing.
"Well, I certainly didn't see that coming," noted Lex, walking up and helping me to my feet,"It's his own fault really, I warned him not to stand too close to the shark pool."
I heaved in another lungful of air and steadied myself, grinning at Lex as she handed me a small package. She'd called us here to her underwater lair where she spent her days planning world conquest and having her cat chase a feather, and I'd instantly known what she had for me.
"Get to work," she ordered, slapping me on the shoulder,"My cat isn't going to chase feathers by itself."
She started to walk away, but I stopped her.
"You know, Lex, it probably will chase feathers by itself," I suggested,"You cou...."
"Just get to work on the bloody movie," she warned me as I trailed off,"My sharks don't stay full for long."
And with that threat ringing in my ears, I set myself to working on the movie guide for:
Pokemon 7: Destiny Deoxys
The movie begins rather unimpressively with a giant Pokeball, and the narrator telling us about how it can be used to capture Pokemon, with a show of various Pokemon in front of a shitty green "technological" backdrop. All in all, it's rather underwhelming, and doesn't set a good starting point for the movie, is this what the quality of th-
HOLY SHIT LOOK AT ALL OF THE POKEMON!
Suddenly we're watching thousands of Pokemon charging along the ground, and then the camera zooms past impressively 3d constructed (and then 2d animated) Pokemon in rock settings, forest settings, in the air and in the sea, Pokemon of all shapes, sizes and colours.... and then we see Ash. As the narrator explains how humans can work together with trainers as teams, we learn that for all the Pokemon we have seen, there are dozens, if not hundreds more to be seen, like Suicune, or Celebi, Latios and Latias, Flygon, Salamance, Venusaur and Ivysaur..... but as the narrator points out, we may live in a Pokemon world.... but the world itself lives in a Universe.
And the Universe, Gentle Dodgers, is not empty.
In the frozen lands somewhere far distant, various Ice Pokemon are observed through binoculars by scientists at a research station, while the child of one of those scientists takes a closer look, getting up close and petting a Spheal. He stands and smiles as the aurora borealis lights up the sky, but as he enjoys the beauty of nature, a Rayquaza flies through the same air distortion and lets out a roar as it sees a glowing meteor come flying by and crash hard into the snow. The Ice Pokemon stampede in fear towards the ocean, catching the small boy - Tory - up in their midst. The boy's Father - the distinguished male scientist seen earlier - and his female assistant rush up and scoop him up, getting him clear of the stampede before turning to look at the source of the explosion.... and a monster not born of this world.
It spreads its flailing tentacle arms wide and lets off a burst of energy, then lifts a section of rock holding a glowing green gem in it. Light surrounds it and the aurora borealis seems to glow around it, and then energy lifts into the air as the Rayquaza flies down from the sky and begins blasting at the creature, trying to freeze it and, when that fails.... BLOWING ITS FUCKING ARMS OFF!
And the monster regenerates.
To the shock of the scientists, Rayquaza is sent crashing to the ground by the monster, and they flee as Rayquaza is tackled down, and then the two fly through the air bashing at each other with Hyperbeams and balls of thrown energy, wreaking havoc on the research station. But just as it seems the monster has Rayquaza down for the count, it appears to falter, seemingly confused as we see through its eyes and realise that the electric bursts coming from the damaged equipment is affecting its ability to see. Rayquaza blasts it with Hyperbeam again, but the monster seems to thicken and harden its body, absorbing the damage before thinning and blasting at Rayquaza once more, smashing it down amongst more of the Research Station's equipment, Rayquaza's rage seemingly based on the obvious alien nature of the monster. But rage is not enough, and Rayquaza is blasted one time too many by the flailing, tentacle armed monster until it crashes into the water, the monster seemingly winning..... and then Rayquaza smashes out of the water with a roar and obliterates it!
The only thing left is the small purple gem that was in the centre of the alien monster's chest, and it drops into the water as Rayquaza flies about, lets loose a roar and then returns to the upper atmosphere that is its natural habitat.... leaving behind the green stone that the monster had apparently been protecting.
The next day, Tory's Father flies away in their helicopter, surveying the destruction caused by Rayquaza's fury, leaving behind the research station... but taking the stone with him.
Four Years Later
Tory (looking roughly the same, though four years older now, so probably 8-9) walks around the garden area of a research station in sunnier climes, while his Father and Assistant research as scientifically as possible the green stone they took from the alien monster.
Or in other words, they shoot lasers at it.
The lasers seem to have no impact, but the scientists seem pleased with what they're seeing, until it suddenly stops, overloaded by whatever it is they're trying to do. As they discuss what they'll do next, Tory suddenly sparks up as a light glows near him, and he starts talking excitedly to it as back in the lab, the assistant notes that the green gem appears to be glowing.
And far back in the frozen land where they found the stone, the alien monster rises from its grave!
Purple energy blasts up from its body and casts a purple aurora throughout the land, and that can only mean one thing.
Trouble's coming.
And speaking of trouble.... Ash Ketchum!
Yes, we finally join the twerps - Ash, Brock, May and Max - arriving by monorail to LaRousse City, THE destination for anything and everything hi-tech. But Ash hasn't come for the gadgets or gizmos like the monorail, wind farms, high-rise buildings and robotic trashcans... he's here for the world famous Battle Tower.
As the twerps arrive by monorail, Team Rocket arrive by pedal power in their Magikarp Submarine, though that doesn't last long as they run into a rock and have to scramble up onto it as their submarine sinks, saving themselves from a watery grave.
Inside one of the city parks, a boy and his Poochyena puppy are going for a jog, the boy stopping by one of the previously mentioned robotic trashcans which senses his presence and lifts up to let him drop in his paper cup. As he runs on, a Plusle and Minun try desperately once more to convince everyone that they're just as cute and marketable as Pikachu by using the trashcan sensor to create bouncy-castle type fun. A Munchlax watches their fun, including them knocking the can over and littering like the little menaces they are. They run away and the Munchlax wanders over, lifting the can back up before walking away, then stopping as it spots a bottle that didn't quite make it. So it boots the bottle back at the can, which opens... but the bottle bounces off. Frustrated, it stomps away, then sighs and looks back, knowing it can't just leave litter on the clean garden streets.
Either it is very civic minded.... or the penalty for littering in LaRousse City is death!
In the more urban environs, the twerps are welcomed by a small welcoming machine which can apparently pick out newcomers to the city as opposed to all the other people walking around them, indicating an almost fascistic, "Big Brother" type society that keeps track of all of its citizens and keeps files on them for "their own good" well you can kill a man BUT YOU CAN'T KILL AN IDEA! YOU CAN'T KILL AN IDEA!
Ahem, excuse me.
May thinks the little welcome bot is cute, while Brock would have preferred a pretty young lady to be the one welcoming him at crotch level. The welcome bot takes a photo and hands them "passports", explaining it has recorded their faces and places of origin (SEE! YOU CALLED ME MAD! BUT WHO IS MAD NOW!?! Well, okay, I'm still mad... but I'm mad and RIGHT!) and they can now use their "passports" for shopping and "other" purposes. What those other purposes are isn't exactly clear, but what is clear is that May isn't overly impressed with the surprised, squawking pose that she has been immortalised with in her passport.
Ash looks around, wondering where the Battle Tower is... then gets caught on a moving conveyer belt and tries desperately to run against the tide and mocked by locals going by the other way, watching as he pumps his little legs in an endless battle against the mechanised tide. He falls over and one of the four youths who have been laughing at him (a young guy; his beefy friend; and two little girls in matching, color coordinated outfits, the boy's sisters) calls out a Blaziken, telling it to go save Ash's bacon. The tall Pokemon leaps onto the conveyer and grabs Ash, then leaps back to its trainer, who Ash thanks, only to be told he couldn't let him look like a fool. Ash is infuriated then squawks in surprise as he reaches solid ground again and almost falls over, while the foursome tell the twerps that if they want the Battle Tower, they should be going in their direction. They step onto another conveyer and Ash jumps after, introducing himself and asking for a battle, and one of the two young girls warn him that her brother - Ralph - is very strong, as is Blaziken.
Ralph (pronounced Rafe) says he would be happy to have a match with him, and then a tall, "bespectacled beauty" comes by tapping on a laptop on the next conveyer, telling Ralph that they're finally going to "sort this out" between them. Brock - who gave her the bespectacled moniker - leaps onto the faster conveyer to try and catch up, only to be grabbed by the ear by Max as May and Ralph's beefy companion (who has made sure to be standing right next to May) look on.
The girl's name is Rebecca, the beefy man - Sid - explains, then looks closer at May (he'd been sidetracked by things other than her face before then - and comments that she is kind of cute. Max grins and suggests Sid is also kind of crazy, and then they reach the impressive, polished spire of the Battle Tower.
Inside, Ash tells the other twerps he'll meet them later when he's registered, and gets himself lost in the giant, mall-like tower. As he passes a library he spots Tory and figures he looks like he knows where he is going, so he approaches to ask him. But when Tory sees Pikachu, he freaks out and cheeses it into the nearest lift and Ash, being Ash, leaps after him and menaces over him with a giant grin on his face, introducing himself to the clearly terrified boy as Pikachu squats on Ash's head and grins intensely.
The doors to the lift open and Tory charges out, followed by Ash as the two bump into a big man who grins and tells them they're just in time for their battle, ignores them protests to the contrary and pushes them onto a conveyer belt surrounded by red rings that scan them, find the passports in their pockets and register them as youth level participants, much to Ash's delight and Tory's abject horror. Shortly after, Rebecca steps through the doorway and is informed by the computer that entries are now filled up, and she gapes in shock as she is told to try again next time.
Inside a circular room marked with colors like a Pokeball, Ash and Tory are raised up on a platform into a larger Pokeball-colored arena surrounded by spectators, including Brock, May and Max. May wonders how Ash got registered so quickly and Rebecca joins them, snapping that he got there by cutting into line ahead of her. Brock ignores the blatant lie and insult (Ash actually stumbled about cluelessly and STILL beat her to it? Well the hell with her then!) and drops to a knee to tell that there comes a time in every man's life when he experiences love at first sight... and Max grabs his ear and asks if he believes in pain at first pull, causing Ralph's sisters to giggle.
Tory's father - Professor Lund - has his attention called to a screen showing the Battle Tower match, surprised to see his son standing partnered up with Ash for a tag battle. Against them are Ralph and Sid, introduced as being from South City - the city across the lake from LaRousse City. Ash is delighted to be facing off against Ralph, while Sid cries out to May that he is dedicating the battle to her, causing Ralph's sisters to giggle in delight.
Ralph and Sid send out Blaziken and Blastoise, and Ash sends in Pikachu and asks Tory what Pokemon he is going to use..... and finds out he doesn't have one! Tory finally gets the chance to explain that he isn't a trainer, but Ash isn't taking reality for an answer, and lends Tory Torkoal to use!
Blaziken zooms in with Blaze Kick, but Pikachu dodges, only to get hit by Water Gun from Blastoise before Torkoal takes a direct short from Bubble. Ash calls out to Tory to tell Torkoal what to do but he hasn't got a clue, and Blastoise uses Rapid Spin to knock Torkoal back while Tory suffers a post-traumatic stress flashback to the stampede that almost killed him four years ago. Ash tells Pikachu to back up and protect Torkoal, having it use Thunderbolt to blast back Blastoise before Blaziken blasts Flamethrower at Pikachu, and Torkoal lands on top of it, trapping them both in place as Max cries out that Tory isn't doing anything to help Ash and May leaps up to scream at him to do something.
Ash tells Tory not to worry and let him handle things, and tells Torkoal to use Flamethrower... which singes Pikachu's tail! Torkoal cries in horror at what it did and blasts smoke out of its nose, much to Ash's embarrassment. Blaziken uses Overheat and blasts Pikachu and Torkoal back, and Ralph and Sid win it!
Ash just got a humiliating asskicking.
He steps out of the lift obviously depressed, but then Professor Lund rushes up to tell his son he's incredibly proud, and Tory moans it was all an accident and runs away. The twerps join Professor Lund and his assistant - Yuko - and Brock flirts outrageously, telling her that she reminds him of his time as a Professor's Assistant....
... and suffered terrifying post-traumatic stress all his own from his time spent working for drunken, big-breasted souse Professor Ivy!
Yuko apologises to Ash for Tory, saying he is terrified of Pokemon since the stampede four years earlier. We see Tory walking along a pool and sitting down, only to be frightened by a Plusle rushing up to his side to tug on his sleeve, then run away to Minun which is stuck inside one of the robotic trashcans and call for help.
Back with the twerps, Ash declares to Yuko that he is going to force... to help.... Tory overcome his fear! He rushes off to find the complete stranger, and spots him working Minun free from the trashcan so they can rub their asses together.
Jesus Plusle and Minun, could you be any lamer?
Minun leaps up to give Tory a big old hug, but he's still not over his fear of Pokemon despite helping them, and stumbles back in fright before crying out that he'll see them later and cheesing it.
Plusle and Minun rush off, and Munchlax emerges from the bushes where it was apparently hiding the entire time (creeeeeepy!) and pushes the trashcan back upright, then walked away before tossing a soda bottle over its shoulder and.... it SCORES!
Meanwhile, Ash follows Tory into the pyramid shaped greenhouse he was in earlier and calls out to someone to come out so he can talk to it. What emerges is a diamond shaped distortion of light, about the same size as Tory's head, which floats around him, twists and distorts, then listens as Tory explains how he saved Minun.
And as he laughs, an Alien Monster flies on a direct path towards LaRousse City, and lands on a spire to fill the sky with an unearthly light, a purple aurora that announces its arrival.
Everyone in the city looks up at the bizarre sight, all except for Tory who is sitting talking to the shape, and Ash who has overheard Tory talking, but to whom he does not know. The shape disappears, and promptly the alien monstrosity does as well, taking the light in the sky away as well.
Outside the greenhouse, Ash demands to know who Tory was talking to, the small boy running away from Ash who is - let's face it - a complete stranger to him. As Ash chases after him, elsewhere in the city, Team Rocket trudge along a wooden walkway, complaining that if LaRousse City was really so high-tech, where are the moving sidewalks or robots that distribute hamburgers?
Hey wait, there's one!
They watch a small boy present a passport and get a hamburger from a walking pink machine with a grumpy looking face. Eager and excited, Team Rocket rush up and dance about asking for hamburgers... and the robot asks them for their passports.
"What's a passport?" asks Meowth, ignorant of the Big Brother style, obsessional tracking of LaRousse's Citizens.
"Well I have no idea what kind of a pass he's talking about, but Meowth, please stop calling me sport!" replies James.
Who's on first?
THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO KNOW!
"You idiot"! screams Jesse at the machine,"HAAAAAMBURGER!"
She leaps up onto the machine and shakes it about as Meowth leaps onto it screaming for a cheeseburger, and James looks on aghast.
An angry faced robot appears and knocks Jesse off of the robot, then bops Meowth on the head. Jesse condemns it for being rude, and James suggests that maybe it has come to take their order, so Jesse.... so Jesse.... Jesse twists around and rubs her ass all over the robot's monitor-face!
That lucky goddamn bastard robot!
The robot zaps Jesse instantly and Team Rocket gasp in horror, rushing away in fright carrying her frazzled body with them.
Meanwhile, Ash is still following Tory and bothering the complete stranger, and Tory demands to know why he keeps following him. As he shouts at Ash, he startles a group of Wingulls who flap up into the air, causing Tory to fall over. Ash and Pikachu try to help him up and he knocks them both back in fright, and Ash responds to this obvious mistake by leaping up, grabbing Tory by the collar and pretty much doing everything but threaten to punch the small boy in the goddamn face!
Oh Ash, you're such a role model.
The twerps arrive and May shoves Ash back telling him not to start something, and Brock comes up with an idea.
FONDUE PARTY!
Oh Brock, she's not going to take her panties off for you.
The twerps, Tory and Pikachu settle down for their fondue party, and two Zigzagoon, a Seedot and Todd's disembodied hair stumble out of the forest, and Brock offers them some food. The twerps gather around to watch them, and Ash tells Tory they'd probably let him pet them (Brock was hoping the fondue party would mean he'd hear the same thing regarding May). Pikachu extends a paw and Tory starts to reach out for it, then stumbles away, smiles sadly and says sorry to them before turning and running off. The twerps sigh and then turn to see.... a surprised looking, wide-eyed Munchlax chowing down on all of their food!
May calls out that it was their lunch and Munchlax..... leaps really goddamn high up into the sky, lands, scratches its side looking bored and then stumbles off. Plusle and Minun show up and Pikachu lets them share its bowl of food, and they all chow down like fatasses in the same bowl.
As the sun sets, Murkrow gather in a portside fountain to bathe, none of them seeming to notice the hostile alien presence watching over them. The Alien Monstrosity peers at them through its strange vision, then kicks up a blast of water that startles the Murkrow away. Purple light scans over the fountain, causing it to explode upwards with water as the escalators start running faster and the streetlights brighten dangerously, and the purple aurora returns to the night sky.
At the Pokemon Centre, the twerps, Ralph, Sid, Rebecca and the two young girls stand on a balcony looking up at what Rebecca tells them is an Aurora... but that it shouldn't be here. May says that it is beautiful and they're lucky to see it, and Sid sidles up to her to say it is the same type of luck that brought them together, causing her to mutter she doesn't know what kind of luck that is. Meanwhile Brock steps up in front of the back of Rebecca's monitor (which causes him to appear on the screen, as it apparently has a webcam built in) to tell her that she can find a real phenomenon in him, and gets dragged away.
Ralph shows up to note that Ash is still in town despite his devastating defeat, and Ash asks for a rematch in the Battle Tower tomorrow, and he agrees. Ralph starts to walk away but stops when he finds Tory in his way holding a basket, which he opens to reveal Pokemon shaped cookies, including such Pokemon as Jigglypuff, Pikachu, Wobbuffet, Torchic, Mudkip and even a wide-eyed Corphish!
Ash calls out his Pokemon and everyone else’s does the same as music plays for absolutely no reason at all. All the Pokemon start playing on the playground and May and Max dangle off of Blastoise's guns while Blaziken scoops up the two girls and Ash grabs Tory and drags him to the swings so they can swing on their feet while Grovyle stands back and grins, leaf in mouth and exuding Clint-Eastwood-Cool.
But as everyone plays, Rebecca sits scanning the odd Purple Aurora, ignored by the twerps as Ash and Tory have the Pokemon play skip rope.
And Team Rocket have been reduced to crawling on all fours to steal their dinner!
They creep up to the picnic table and look up at the sandwiches on it.... then gasp as they see Munchlax scoop them up into a sack, smile and say,"Munchlax, munch!" at them and rush over their heads, leaving them behind!
It's stealing what we wuz going ta steal!" gasps Meowth.
"Oh no it's not!" growls Jesse, and crawls off after it, quickly followed by James and Meowth, also on all fours!
They continue crawling into the bushes after Munchlax, as up in the sky the purple aurora fades. Down by the shore of the city's lake, the monster blasts a group of sleeping Pokemon into the water and looks about it, and somewhere far, far away and high in the upper atmosphere, Rayquaza senses the return of the alien presence it felt such an innate hatred for and destroyed four years earlier, and zooms off towards it.
Back in LaRousse City, Tory sits with Ash telling him that he has never just played and enjoyed himself with a big bunch of friends - human OR Pokemon - before. Ash says he must be lonely, and Tory reaches out towards Pikachu to pet it, an enormous breakthrough coming, the moment just right to finaCORPHISH THE FUCK OUT OF NOWHERE!
Tory gapes in horror as Corphish dances about in front of his face, cavorting merrily and causing Tory to leap up and run away in terror.
Hahaha, oh Corphish, you well meaning jerk!
Ash runs and grabs Tory, telling him it is okay, there's no need to rush. He turns back at looks over at Corphish and introduces him angrily, saying,"THAT'S Corphish!" and Corphish cocks its head, confused. It was just being nice!
The next day, Tory leads the twerps and the local kids towards the Greenhouse to "show them something", stopped on the way by a security robot that asks to see their passports. Tory explains that his Dad's laboratory is nearby which is why there is so much security. He takes them into the greenhouse and calls out to the shape, and it appears, floating before Tory. He explains that it is always here for him to help him, and Rebecca looks it over with her computer before Ralph, Sid and the girls call out their Pokemon. Rebecca decides to get in on the gun by sending out a Metagross, a giant monstrosity that really isn't conducive to friendly relations. The shape floats about all of the Pokemon, darts out of the way of a playful grab by Sid, and then zips up between Ash and Tory, who laugh in delight.
And above the Battle Tower, the alien monstrosity twists about to stare as Rayquaza zooms in towards the city. The City's defence systems alert Officer Jenny that Rayquaza is coming and she contacts Professor Lund to let him know it is coming. Yuko rushes to Lund's side and looks through the security camera feeds that keep track of all the citizens in the city at ALL TIMES, and spots a red flash. Rewinding the tape, she zooms and enhances the image (CSI would be proud) and the alien monstrosity comes into view, and they finally give us a name to match the monster.
Deoxys.
It scans over the conveyers, causing them to zoom out of control and then stop, and Professor Lund warns Officer Jenny that a battle between Rayquaza and Deoxys will wreak untold havoc, and she must evacuate the city. She acknowledges the order at once and even calls him sir, and it's all starting to fall into place now. The research station out near one of the poles of the Earth; the capture of the fallen stone Deoxys was protecting; the authority he holds over ranking officials like Officer Jenny; his obvious obsessional tracking of everything that goes on in "his" city.
Professor Lund - Tory's Dad - is a Bond Villain!
The alert goes out across the city and the service bots form up into a wall that represents evacuation routes throughout the city, showcasing Lund's devilishly complex and deceptively cute security system. People rush and crowd onto the monorails, everyone looking concerned and worried except for one cheery chap in a feathery boa that leaps amongst the squashed together men, shakes his arms around and squeals,"IT'S PARTY TIME!"
Ferries depart crowded with people, and all the time Deoxys zooms around the city scanning away, while inside the greenhouse, Tory, the twerps and the local kids look about in confusion at the sudden noise. Professor Lund’s paranoid-obsessional tracking system proves handy as it scans the city to see if any citizens are left, and registers Tory as being in the greenhouse. He rushes out to get his son - my one weakness, Mr. Bond, but my greatest strength, you'll not seduce him! - and runs across the frozen conveyer belts, which suddenly kick back up into gear and send him stumbling over and carried away into the crowd of evacuating people.
The security bots zoom together to form a giant bridge over the sea surrounding LaRousse, and the citizens are carried away, taking Lund with them who tries desperately to go against the tide and finds himself knocked over the side into the water, an inflation device tossed to him by Officer Jenny as she comes by on a police barge.
Team Rocket have joined the others in evacuating the City, Meowth complaining some vacation this turned out to be.
"Whose bad idea was this?" demands Jesse.
"Let's just say Meowth and I were overruled," offers James diplomatically.
As they walk, they realise something is watching them, and they and the others trudging out of the city look up as they see Deoxys standing above them, scanning away before using a variation of Double-Team to create multiple clones that swoop down and scoop up various people, including Team Rocket.
And then Rayquaza arrives.
Deoxys spots it coming and its body again seems to harden and thicken, and a sphere of energy grows around it. Rayquaza roars and lets rip with a blast of Hyperbeam, but it smashes against the sphere that is now surrounding the city and explodes.
Deoxys is now protecting "it's" city.
Professor Lund and Officer Jenny try to sail their boat through but are blocked by the forcefield, and the security bot-bridge collapses at the halfway point, while inside the city power is lost and the city's fabulous technical marvels are rendered useless. Outside the sphere, Rayquaza slams angrily against the forcefield, it's innate xenophobic hatred of the alien driving it to slam again and again, uselessly against the field.
At the greenhouse, Sid and his Blastoise strain to pull the doors open while all the Pokemon that could help stand around uselessly watching, and then Rebecca spots Deoxys landing on top of the greenhouse and multiplying. Tory recognises it and calls it by name, warning those that have left the greenhouse to come back. Outside, a Deoxys-clone lands and flails its tentacles at May (as all tentacled beings must when confronted by young Japanese girls) and Sid leaps into the way to protect her.
Blastoise smashes the clone back with Hydropump and disintegrates it, but more zoom down and grab him and his Blastoise, carrying them away. May runs back inside of the Greenhouse and Blaziken and Pikachu blast away the clones as Rebecca asks Tory if there is another exit, and he mentions the underground tunnel and leads them away. Ash and Ralph hold them back until Rebecca unlocks the door, and then they Ralph with Blaziken and Pikachu to the emergency exit, slamming the door shut against the incoming Deoxys clones, one of which reaches a tentacle through and wraps around Ash, who calls for Pikachu to blast him with Thunderbolt, zapping the Deoxys clear and leaving him sparking, in pain but free.
They sneak outside through the above ground exit and encounter Yuko, while elsewhere various Pokemon are captured by the Deoxys clones, though Plusle and Minun manage to get underneath a lakeside walkway and encounter Munchlax before all of them crawl into a sewerage duct.
Outside the city itself, Officer Jenny reviews those passport holders who have not registered as evacuating the city, their faces appearing on a large screen (including May's squawking surprised passport photo). Lund grunts in frustration and runs to the window to stare across at the city, in which his son remains captive.
Inside the City, hidden underground, the twerps, the local kids and Yuko sit discussing what is happening. Emergency power is up now, but most services are down, including the Pokemon Management System, meaning those Pokemon not out of their Pokeballs cannot be called out.
Hang on a second.... HANG ON A SECOND!
So we know for a fact that Pokeballs can be used anywhere at any time and don't have to be within a city, and yet in LaRousse City, Pokeballs only work if a computer system is online and operating? Somehow, Lund has co-opted control of any Pokeball that enters "his" city so that they will only operate when he allows them to?
Good Lord, he really IS a Bond Villain!
Ash asks Tory what he knows about Deoxys and Yuko explains, it is a Pokemon from out of space, that crash landed in the North Pole 4 years ago and emerged from a meteor. She explains how Rayquaza came and seemingly destroyed Deoxys, but it was actually regenerating deep within the arctic ocean, and that amazing regenerative ability is what Lund has been studying the last four years.
Okay, so the guy who runs the most technologically advanced city on the planet and has control over it's citizens' ability to use their Pokemon has also been researching regeneration? Move over Giovanni, this guy is making a move for "Best Supervillain of the Year"!
Max gasps in horror that maybe Deoxys could slide in through a crack in the door and the girls squeal in fright, shouting at him to shut up. He gapes as he realises his faux pas, and insists he was just joking, and then everyone cries out in fright as they hear a clanking noise draw closer to them.
They rush to the source of the sound, a ventilation duct, and prepare to fight when Plusle and Minun pop out, followed by Munchlax which finds itself stuck inside, sweating desperately as it tries to get out. Max and the two girls tug it out and sandwiches drop out alongside it, while Plusle and Minun rush up towards Tory after recognising him and he darts away, gasping at them to please not come any closer. Pikachu moves up to them to distract them, while Max and the girls watch as Munchlax chows down on the surviving sandwich. Realising they're all hungry, it offers the last sandwich to them, but they turn it down when they notice it scratching itself and dropping crumbs and other grubby much off of its body.
As the night wears on, they sneak out of the lab and separate, Ash, Pikachu, Brock and Tory going off together; Ralph, Blaziken, Rebecca and Metagross in another; while Yuko, the girls, May and Max remain behind in what would best be described as the "smart" party. Munchlax lies on its back and sleeps while Yuko tries to work on the equipment she still has available to her, and Plusle and Minun disappear into the ventilation system.
Ash, Brock and Tory discover one of the food vending machines, but Tory's passport does nothing to open it, and they're all hungry and desperate to get at it. Pikachu blasts it with Thunderbolt, and the machine kicks up into gear and begins wildly shooting hot dogs into the air, causing Brock to quip that they've "Gotta catch'em all."
A hotdog bounces off of Pikachu's head and it laughs, then turns and narrows its eyes as it senses something, an alien presence.... Deoxys Clones!
They swoop them on the twerps but are blasted back by Plusle and Minun. A Deoxys Clone grabs Plusle but Ash and Brock leap up and grab it, Pikachu blasting it and knocking them free. But then Minun is grabbed up and hauled away before anyone can do anything, and they have to run and leave it behind as a swarm of the Deoxys clones swoop in after them, one of them grabbing the hot-dog machine and carrying it away.
Hey, at least one of them has its priorities right!
They hunker down inside a building and hide, Tory telling Plusle it was all his fault and reaching out to pet it, but then pulling his hand back and apologising again. Brock calls Ash over, telling him to look at what he just found, precious water!
Meanwhile, Rebecca and Ralph have found where the Deoxys clones are taking the captives, a giant stadium by the lakeside. The hotdog machine is flown in overhead kicking its legs and demanding to be released, but then its power runs out again and suddenly the Deoxys clone drops it into the water, seemingly uninterested in it now.
As dawn breaks, Rebecca and Yuko review Rebecca's recordings of the previous night and spot the hotdog machine being dropped into the water once again. Suddenly, one of the girl's Surskit's pops up and starts skittering around in alarm, and they all sit up and look around, then gulp as the sealed windows begin to buckle under an assault, and the tentacles of various Deoxys clones begin slamming their way through the security barricades.
Yuko tells them to follow her to their underground laboratory, and they all rush off - including Munchlax which has been eating all of their hotdogs - as the Deoxys Clones break their way in, look about, spot nothing and leave... for the time being.
They find themselves in the viewing room for the lab where the second Deoxys crystal has been sitting, being studied these last four years. Suddenly the shape that Tory has been playing with all this time emerges from the stone and flies up to Tory, and they realise that Tory's friend all this time has been Deoxys. It fades out as Rebecca studies it with her computer, checks it against the purple aurora pattern that covering LaRousse, and realises it is a form of communication. She attempts to decipher it and discovers the green shape pattern has been saying,"Friend," and the purple pattern has been saying,"Where are you."
Yuko remembers how electrical distortions affected Deoxys' ability to see in the fight with Rayquaza four years ago, and postulates that Deoxys is simply looking for the other, and removing any electrical devices and humans (who give off their own electrical signal) so it can put them all in one place and stop distracting it from trying to find the other Deoxys.
Outside, Deoxys once more fills the sky with the purple aurora while Professor Lund watches from a distance, watching Rayquaza smash furiously against the forcefield.
Inside, Tory tells Yuko she has to figure out a way to regenerate the Deoxys, it's so lonely looking for its friend. Yuko can't though, she needs power, and so the whole gang decides its time to get out there and get the power on and free the captives, and set off at an eager run..... though May and Max quickly realise that they've really been taking things like escalators for granted.
Deoxys senses the presence of electrical distortions and flies down to land on a streetlamp before the gathered group. Ash tries to reason with the alien from another world that doesn't speak their language, and it ignores them, sending in clones to remove the electrical distortions preventing it from finding its fellow Deoxys. They're forced to use their Pokemon to protect themselves, fighting off the clones that come flying in.
Blaziken uses Overheat to fight off a wing, and Ralph tells Ash to go on without him and make sure his sisters are protected, and they leave him behind to fight off the Deoxys clones all by himself... and he makes the lucky shot by hitting the actual Deoxys itself. It doesn't hurt the alien Pokemon, but it does break its concentration for a second, just as outside the sphere Rayquaza blasts the forcefield with Hyperbeam and then crashes headfirst against the blockade... and punches through!
Rayquaza has entered LaRousse City!
Deoxys sends in hundreds of clones all at once, surrounding Ralph and Blaziken. Ralph smiles and tells Blaziken to relax, and they allow themselves to be scooped up and carried away, while Rayquaza zooms through the street blasting through hundreds and hundreds of Deoxys clones that try to surround it and swarm it and carry it away, only to be blasted into oblivion.
It zooms by the twerps while blasting the Deoxys', Ash asking what it is while Tory just casually namedrops it like it is normal to see a Rayquaza down at earth level blasting the fuck out of alien Pokemon monsters.
Oh wait, for him, it is!
They reach the port where the stadium prison is located and split up, Munchlax rushing off by itself while May pulls Max away in another direction. Inside the stadium itself, Sid has been reunited with Ralph who is working at getting the power back on by tinkering with the interior power supply, watched by a groaning Team Rocket who are still really only concerned with getting something to eat!
Ash and Tory arrive with Pikachu and Plusle, catching Ralph's attention... apparently, this has all been planned!
Meanwhile, Rayquaza puts paid to the last of the Deoxys clones and then turns one mad, inhuman eye on its true focus all this time.
Deoxys has arrived.
Pikachu and Plusle zap into the stadium with Thunderbolt, channeling through Minun into the power control panel, and the stadium zaps back into power, opening the door and reunited Plusle and Minun, who instantly begin rubbing asses together.
Goddammit.
Tory smiles with tears in his eyes as he sees the Pokemon reunited, and Ash tells him he was great before giving a smiling Ralph the thumbs up.
Meanwhile, Deoxys and Rayquaza smash and crash against each other, tearing up the city in the process, while at the windfarm on the shore of the lake, Brock has wrapped a rope around the turbine inside and lowered it down to where May, Max, the girls and Metagross are waiting.
"HEY MAY! I'M COMING FOR YA!" roars Sid, charging down the hill towards May who actually seems delighted to see him... until she realises he fully intends to run directly into her and knock her off of her feet! She darts aside and he smashes face first into Metagross.
I wonder if he slipped it the tongue?
"Grossss," grunts Metagross, and that about sums it up.
Brock asks Ralph what happened to Ash and the others, and they explain it went back to the laboratory. Back there, the power comes back on as Brock, May, Max and Sid pull on the rope around the turbine, and Ralph, his sisters, Rebecca and other freed captives pull on another rope attached to another turbine, while Pokemon use their abilities to get others moving, getting them running again and kicking power into the city.
And hidden amongst the bushes, with a power cord attached to another turbine, Team Rocket off all people are secretly helping as well, pedaling away on a device probably salvaged from their sunken Magikarp Submarine!
Inside the lab, Yuko says they are all set and tells them to turn on the laser, and Ash tells Tory he should be the one to do it. He cranks it on and the laser blasts into the green stone, creating a blinding light before the laser fades out, but the stone still sits inert, Yuko reviewing the data and saying they need another 20% energy.... and Pikachu, Plusle and Minun blast it with a burst of Thunderbolt that powers it up beyond capacity and the stone shatters.
The other Deoxys has awoken.
Deoxys' chest stone glows green and the "shape" that has been Tory's friend emerges to show itself again, then returns to Deoxys before turning the whole lab green, and then Tory asks if it wants to find its friend now. In answer, Ash, Pikachu and Tory start to glow and are lifted high and flown out past the wind turbines through the city.... a city in which Rayquaza is kicking the shit out of the other Deoxys!
It blasts Purple-Deoxys in the back with Hyper-beam then wraps its tail around it and lifts it high into the air before smashing it down against the ground, and the forcefield around the city shatters and lifts and dissipates, reuniting it with the outside world and letting the wind back through, which turns the city's power back on fully as the wind turbines are able to turn on their own.
Rayquaza roars over the smashed crater where it has cast Deoxys down, confident that it has destroyed the alien once more.... and then Deoxys emerges from the shattered remnants, glowing bright before charging through a Hyperbeam and crashing into Rayquaza, ready to throw down once more.
It dodges a Hyperbeam and bashes Rayquaza down, then blasts at the massive serpent with a beam of crimson energy before blasting a massive ball of energy at it.... and Green Deoxys leaps into the way and blocks the blast! The smoke clears and the purple Deoxys finds itself staring at the smashes debris, and begins scanning with purple energy, only for green energy to match it as green Deoxys emerges from the ground and they both fly up into the air, filling the sky first with the green aurora, then the purple, the two mixing together as everyone stands and stares in delight at the beautifully sight, and the two Deoxys float up besides each other.
And then Rayquaza emerges from the rubble screaming with inhuman fury, filled with a rage and hate for this alien presence in IT'S world!
It blasts the two Deoxys with a burst of Hyperbeam and then soars into the air after them, chasing through through the city, blasting buildings and streets with Hyperbeams as Ash scrams out for it to stop. The two Deoxys blast it with crimson energy and scoop Ash and Tory to safety, then flee past another poor abandoned hot dog machine as Rayquaza gives chase as one of the reactivated security bots rush up beside Ash and Tory warning them off the danger and telling them that they must evacuate.
Rayquaza and the two Deoxys smash into the Battle Tower and send a ripple of energy shooting through the entire tower, washing over the security bots which give warning again and then start to glow red and wash through the city like a tide, crashing past the hot dog machine and the happily chomping Munchlax.
The tide becomes a sea, hundreds of thousands of security bots flooding towards the Battle Tower as Professor Lund and Officer Jenny return to the city and reunited with Yuko, who has discovered the security system has gone on overdrive and won't shut down. Rayquaza finds itself overwhelmed by the sea of security, and the two Deoxys try desperately to protect it with a shield, but it is too much, Lund's obsessional security madness turned on its own city.
Lund appears on a big screen behind Ash and Tory, calling out to his son that the chief security bot has gone out of control and is the one responsible for all the other bots. He explains he can no longer control it, and he needs him to present his passport to the chief robot, which should unlock everything for a brief moment and allow him to regain control. He explains that the gate of their town is in Tory's hands, and he knows they can rel... and then a wave of security bots smashes into the screen as the bots flood up over the battle tower itself.
Ash spots that poor old upside down hot dog machine and they leap onto it, the bot turning over on its side as it is carried along and revealing that Munchlax is inside chowing down happily on another hot dog. It spills out of the machine and into the sea of security bots, and then suddenly it glows white, the white growing larger and larger until Ash and Tory find themselves facing.... Snorlax!
Ash leaps onto it's big belly and then onto its head, saying sorry though the sleeping Snorlax doesn't seem to notice. Ash sees Tory floating away as he lands on a scaffold across from the security bot, and watches Pikachu leap onto various floating bots as stepping stones until it lands on the Chief Security Bot. Ash does the same, though with considerably less grace and a lot more help from Pikachu's Thunderbolt, till he ends up hanging from the side of the security bot and prepares to wave his passport in front of the Chief Security Bot... and drops it!
Tory cries out to Ash to take his and pitches his passport surprisingly far considering how small he is, and it flies through the air towards the dangling Ash who reaches out with one hand and grabs at it and.... misses!
HE MISSED!
Pikachu leaps down after the passport, falling past it and slapping it with its tail to send it back up into Ash's grasp, and he scrams out to Pikachu as it lands on a bot and is carried away by the tide... and then the Chief Security Bot is lifted by the flood of other bots high into the air, as is Tory and Plusle and Minun.... and Ash presses the passport into the Chief Security Bot's face, giving Officer Jenny the moment she needs to retake control... and the tide of bots finally ends, mere feet from completely covering the entire Battle Tower.
Tory sits above the upended hot dog machine staring down thousands of feet below in wonder, and then gasps as Plusle and Minun fall from their perches towards certain doom. He leaps after them and grabs them close to him, thus guaranteeing not only their deaths but his as well, and then... green Deoxys smashes out of its security-bot grave and grabs them, hauling them to safety.
Pikachu emerges from the bots as well, sitting on top of Rayquaza's head, and then it is lifted into the air by the power of Rayquaza, which grabs Ash as well and flies him up alongside green Deoxys and Tory. Rayquaza flies up between them, then past and up once more into the upper atmosphere, having decided that the Deoxys are not so bad after all.... or at least, not worth the effort of obliterating them.
Tory and Ash are landed by the other twerps, local kids and other captives, and Professor Lund and Yuko show up, Lund hugging Tory and telling him he's proud, then grinning as Tory says it was his friends, and is joined by Plusle and Minun.
The Deoxys' lift up into the air together filling the air with their green and purple auroras once more, and Tory says goodbye as they disappear into the upper atmosphere and Ash says wherever they go, they'll always have each other. He looks at Pikachu and tells it he's glad they'll always have each other as well, and Pikachu shouts out in agreement as the music plays and the camera pulls away from the technical marvel that is LaRousse City.... buried under a heap of its own "security".
And take one last look at Team Rocket, still hidden away in the bushes pedaling away desperately as they continue trying to do the right thing even though it is no longer necessary, James moaning he has lost 20 pounds, Meowth moaning James has lost his mind, and Jesse roaring at them both that she is losing her patience, so just shut up and keep pedaling!
And that is where the movie ends, but you know as well as I, Gentle Dodgers, that the end is never the end. As the end credits roll, we're treated to a few final moments. We see Professor Lund and Yuko accompany Tory to the monorail station where he says his goodbyes to Ash, Brock, May, Max, Ralph, Rebecca, Sid and Ralph's sisters, waving goodbye with Plusle and Minun at his side. We watch the twerps and their new friends chatting and laughing amongst themselves until they reach South City across the lake and Ralph and his sisters depart, waving their goodbyes. Then we see Sid doing his best to chat up May, who flirts right back at him until it is time for him too to depart, and he runs alongside the monorail waving his goodbye to May until he runs directly into a support beam and crashes to a stop. Then we see Brock doing HIS best to chat up Rebecca, before watching her go and wave goodbye to the others before turning and breaking down in tears as he fails once again to even get to cop a feel of her impressive figure. And then the twerps themselves disembark, and head out once more on the road, returning to their usual Pokemon Journey, as seen in Advanced Challenge and Advanced Battle. There is, of course, a little bit extra even after that, but if you'd like to know about, I suggest you watch the movie yourself.
Pokemon dancing with pom-poms is where I draw the line!
| BEST QUOTES |
 "What's a passport?" "Well I have no idea what kind of a pass he's talking about, but Meowth, please stop calling me sport!""JESSE GOT FRIED!""WIFOUT DA BURGERS!" "Whose dumb idea was this?""Let's just say Meowth and I were overruled." |