645: Casting a Paul on Barry!
Dodgy Synopsis
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651: Shin'o Rigu San Kaisen! Shinji tai Jun!
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Today finds Ash.... winning his second round battle! His opponent is such a faceless, nameless nobody that he doesn't even get to have some token resistance as Ash's Snorlax destroys his Grumpig and advances Ash through to the third round! That was quick, but the number of nameless, faceless also-rans making up the numbers at the Sinnoh League can't last forever! Eventually Ash will have to face somebody with a name and personality and thus a soul, and the same goes for them! In fact today could be the very day that is....
The eight match-ups for Round Three are put on display, and six of them are completely irrelevant as they feature soulless meat-flesh-pods who are there purely to make up the numbers. Two of the match-ups, however, are a much bigger deal. Ash will be facing his former "student", Creepy-Max-From-The-Future Conway! While Paul will be facing.... Barry!
Brock warns Ash that Conway can be pretty slick (ewwwww) and Dawn tells him to be careful, and Conway leers up from directly underneath her skirt and tells he WILL be, especially if she is cheering him on. Backing up in disgust, she moans out a horrified hello while Conway brags that he has a secret strategy for use against Ash, but he WILL tell Dawn what it is. He lunges at her gasping at her to lend him his ear as she backs away, crying out at him to back off... and runs right into Barry, knocking him over. Furious, he threatens her with a fine while Dawn, overcompensating from the ick factor of Conway, snaps back that HE bumped into her. Brock breaks them up and Ash asks where Barry is going in such a hurry, and Barry happily explains that he's off to see Paul because they are the two best trainers in the tournament and Paul is the only one capable of putting up a challenge against him and he makes it so it isn't so lonely at the top and he's going to go tell Paul all of this and make big cow eyes at him and and and oh gosh isn't he just soooooo dreeeeeaaammmmmyyy!?!
Everybody - including Conway! - blanches at Barry's insane naivety, and Dawn (doing an excellent Paul impersonation) warns him NOT to tell Paul all this stuff because Paul will just react with a grumpy,"You? Who are you?" Barry is horrified at the suggestion that Paul wouldn't know who he is, and Dawn tells him that even if he does he'll just dismiss him as pathetic. Barry is still overly concerned with the notion that Paul might not know who he is though, and rushes off in a panic to find him and set his ADD-addled mind right.
Meanwhile, the day’s match-ups are over and the spectators are heading away from the Arena, which is the perfect time for Team Rocket to shill food and creepy toys at them! But the crowd keeps on walking, not bothering with any of the cheap souvenirs they're offering. As Jesse and Meowth argue with each other over whose doll is to blame for scaring off the customers, James takes a more proactive response. They were upgraded to a much better stall location because they impressed the Boss Lady with their first day sales, so they need to rediscover that spark that let them connect with the crowds. Jesse suggests that they're located in a place where people leave from now, and they might not want to be doing any purchasing before heading home, while Meowth notes that they could really make a killing by selling INSIDE the stadium. James heads their "grass is greener on the other side" speculation in the bud, telling them that they have to make wherever they are the place to be, and lifting their fingers to the sky and pointing at the moon, they give out a battlecry that it is time, time for.... analysis!
Paul is checking up Barry's data for their upcoming battle at the Pokémon Centre when Barry comes bursting in followed by the twerps. Paul instantly spots the threat..... ASH! He focuses directly on Ash to the exclusion of the hopped up mad blond, the comparatively calm spiky haired older kid and the girl in the tiny skirt, his entire vision focused on Ash.... till Barry shouts out in excitement to see what is on Paul's screen. He's looking up Barry's data!?! Then that means that Barry is sure to win because every day he's getting better and thus the data is always outdated hooray! The twerps don't quite follow this logic, staring in disbelief at their mad freak of a "friend", who sings out a delightfully camp little,"JEAAAALOOOUUSSSSS!" before turning back to Paul and telling him that THEIR battle will determine who will be the top trainer. Paul switches off his computer, gets up and tells Barry that their battle is only one of many in the third round and it would be foolish to overestimate your ability. He walks off as Barry yells after him, and gives Barry a thrill by grunting that he is certainly looking forward to THEIR battle. Barry complete misses the sarcastic context and becomes utterly thrilled at what a great competitor Paul is, and then settles in to review Paul's data while Ash presumably attempts to do the same regarding Conway. Barry quickly gets bored by having to sit still for longer than 30 seconds though, complaining that all the data on Paul is outdated and thus useless. Meanwhile Ash has reviewed Conway's data and discovered that Conway is considered an impulsive trainer, and Dawn tells Ash this means he is unpredictable. Predictably, Conway pops up from out of nowhere and agrees that this is part of his charm, cocking a smirk and light-tinted glasses Dawn's way. They tell him that Ash is no pushover either, but Conway is more focused on Tobias, the mysterious trainer who one-shot defeated his Round 1 and 2 Opponents using only Darkrai.
Not only that, it seems that Tobias won all eight of his badges using only Darkrai as well, making him a one-dimensional trainer but a very effective one. Conway explains he is looking up Darkrai because he might be matched up against him once he beats Ash, which causes Ash to leap up out of his chair in a fury before Conway waves a happy little goodbye to a frosty Dawn and disappear back down into his cubicle. Barry has given up on trying to review Paul's data, and Ash tells him that this is the spirit, just go for it! Barry gets excited too and both idiotic boys psyche each other up and out of nowhere burst off out of the Center and down the street, sprinting their excess energy off while happily declaring they will win their respective battles, before breaking into a furious argument over who a shining star in the sky is predicting victory for.
Ahhhh, God loves idiots :)
The next day, the Main Stadium is now the only stadium that will be used for the various battles from Round 3 on, with the field changing randomly after each battle to a different element. Barry and Paul are opening the round on a Rock Field, with Barry opening with Skarmory and Paul using Magmortar. Dawn checks out Skarmory while Brock and Ash comment that Barry is at a type disadvantage here, but he does get the first move and opens with Spikes. Skarmory spins about and spikes fly off of it and embed into the ground, meaning that from now on if Paul switches a Pokémon it will take damage from the spikes, impressing the twerps, but Barry could not care less, opening with Flamethrower and.... knocking Skarmory out with one shot!
Barry thanks Skarmory for a great job (what) and sends out Empoleon next with a Hydro Cannon, scoring a direct shot on Magmortar while Barry laughs that Paul can't switch out due to the Spikes.... and Paul promptly switches out Magmortar for Ursaring!
Ursaring comes out with a roar and immediately eats some spikes, while Barry recalls Empoleon and sends out Hitmonlee for the type advantage of Fighting vs Normal Type. Ursaring uses Bulk Up to increase attack and defence, while Hitmonlee comes in and delivers a Megakick that knocks the big angry bear back. It comes back with Hammer Arm, flying through the air ready to deliver a killer blow, but Hitmonlee is faster and easily dodges the powerful move. Barry is delighted to brag about how fast he trained his Hitmonlee to be, and Paul finally reacts as an utterly evil and happy smirk crosses his face and he unleashes Ursaring, having it slash out the rock pillar from underneath the posing Hitmonlee and then attempt to maul its face open with its claws, poor Hitmonlee doing everything to dodge as it comes up against a far more serious opponent than it's happy-go-lucky trainer would have prepared it for. Barry, to his credit, responds by sending Hitmonlee in with Close Combat, delivering kicks to Ursaring's fat gut, but being in so close allows Paul to order another Hammer Arm that sends Hitmonlee flying. Barry cries out that he is relying on Hitmonlee, which reacts by coming back and delivering a High Jump Kick, smashing its knee directly into Ursaring's gut. Brock is impressed and tells Dawn that Barry has really earned his spot in the Third Round, but Paul is prepared for anything and everything and has Ursaring use Focus Blast at close range. Hitmonlee tries to dodge by getting behind a rock but the Focus Blast smashes through it and into Hitmonlee, and Ursaring goes for another Hammer Arm.... but Hitmonlee scores a Blaze Kick, setting the bear on fire in addition to the pain of the kick.
Foreboding, Brock points out that Ursaring has a special ability called "Guts" that allows it to increase attack power if it suffers a status attack like burn. Roaring with fury, it collides another Blaze Kick with Hammer Arm and both smash into each other, the smoke clears and..... Hitmonlee goes down! Ursaring survived the match! Barry is down 2 Pokémon and all of Paul's are still (somewhat) standing!
Outside, Team Rocket are not enjoying the silence as everyone is inside watching the battle. James tells them to focus on their job of selling to the spectators when they leave, and targeting wares that match what they've just seen. Jesse and Meowth can't follow that at all, but with fire in his eyes James insists that they leave it to him and the Boss Lady (the fatty, not Jesse) and rushes off, enthusiastic to be running things for a change.
Inside, Barry only has Empoleon left now against all three of Barry's, so every move he makes counts. He opens with Drill Peck against Ursaring's Slash, as Paul tries to quickly end things, the moves clashing before Paul orders a Focus Blast.... that is knocked back by Empoleon's wing. For once Paul is surprised, unsure how Empoleon pulled that move off, which delights Barry. Before he can follow through though, Paul recalls Ursaring and sends out Electivire, which immediately takes damage from the spikes laid down at the start of the match. Dawn checks it out with her Pokedex while Ash notes that it must have recently evolved, while Brock compliments Paul for staying cool and collected and always using the right move.
Barry opens with an immediate Hyper-Beam against Electivire's Thunder, the two moves clashing and leaving Empoleon panting roughly, but still able to dodge an attempted Thunder Punch thanks to its high speed. Barry takes the time to brag about Empoleon's speed but Paul doesn't let up, having Electivire make a series of back to back Thunder Punches which Empoleon struggles to dodge, Barry screaming at it to dodge, dodge, dod.... wait, it's stopped attacking!
Paul orders a Giga-Impact and it scores a direct shot, smashing into Empoleon and sending it flying. Barry screams out that he knows it can do it, and Empoleon does indeed hold on, but can't dodge another Thunder Punch that smashes it through the ground, scoring a massive groove.... but it starts getting back up! Barry watches in shock and then cries out to it that he knows it can do it... and then is promptly surprised when it DOES do it!
It's Special Ability - Torrent - has been activated, upping it's Water Powers as well as increasing its ability to see movies still on in the theatres. Glowing with blue energy, it blasts a massive Hydro Cannon that crashes directly into Electivire.....'s Protect!
"ALL RIGHT SO WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA OF USING PROTECT!?!" demands Barry in horror, unable to believe that Paul isn't following the normal script of gaping in astonishment and watching in disbelief as the battered Pokémon delivers a series of unstoppable blows that pull victory from the jaws of defeat. Instead, Paul completely negates Empoleon's Special Ability and then follows through with a massive blast of Thunder that crashes into Empoleon and leaves it still standing... but completely paralyzed. Unable to battle further, the judge has no choice but to announce the battle over, and Paul has won.... 3-0!
Barry thanks Empoleon and returns it to its Pokeball, while Paul bows lightly to the referee and walks away without a word or even a glance towards Barry, who no longer exists or is relevant to him in any way, shape or form now that he has defeated him.
Happier though is Team Rocket, as James comes skidding back to the stall dragging a wagon overladen with a huge amount of goods behind him, much to Wobbuffet's spectacular delight. Jesse and Meowth rush to get their hands on James' bulging sack (yes, that's what I wrote) and quickly they begin shouting out to the leaving spectators various merchandise items based on the Pokémon used in the battle they just saw.... and it's a huge and spectacular success, much to Team Rocket's delight.
As the sun sets, Paul is heading out of the Pokémon Center when Barry (with the twerps in tow) calls out to him. He runs up and nervously admits that though he lost, he gave it his all and thus has no regrets. Paul stares at this strange insect in front of him, then actually throws a dog a freaking bone and tells him that it was a great battle. Barry is slavishly delighted, and tells him that he wants to battle him again one day, and surprisingly Paul just agrees that one day they will and heads away. Super excited (when is he not?) Barry turns and squeals to Paul like they were a couple of giggly teenage girls talking about a boy they like, saying that battling Paul gets him so "fired up". Ash agrees that Paul does tend to bring out the competitive edge, and Barry insists he'll be cheering them on if Ash does get to face Paul in the Tournament. Brock and Dawn remind Ash he still has to beat Conway, and speaking of whom.....
Yep, right up that skirt.
He reminds Dawn that he has a secret that will ensure his victory against Ash - that secret being that he is creepy Max from the future and knows the results in advance? - but Ash insists that he will beat Conway, without actually offering any kind of reason why he will other than, well, just because.
So Nando and Barry are out of the Tournament, Ash has to go through Conway to presumably get to Paul.... and looming like the shadow of past disappointments over them all is the mysterious Tobias and his Darkrai. Who will win, who will lose? You'll have to wait till the next episode(s) to find out, Gentle Dodgers!
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