641: Four Roads Diverged in a Pokémon Port!
Dodgy Synopsis
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647: Satoshi Bui Esu Kengo! Sorezore no Funade!
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The twerps are STILL on their way out of Sunyshore Town, despite ending last episode charging away with gay abandon towards the port to take them to the Sinnoh League Championship. But the highly technical town may be pretty confusing, as they follow the automated roads trying to find their way out on....
It seems they're too late though, as they arrive to discover they just missed the ferry and they'll need to wait till the next day. Dawn tells Ash not to worry, they have plenty of time (the championship isn't for a month) and then they hear a familiar voice and head outside to discover Kenny..... straight macking!
Yes the little loser who failed to even beat the nameless, faceless masses making up the numbers at the Grand Festival is showing off his Floatzel to a tall, pretty young girl in a pretty dress that for some reason is clinging just a little too much to her crotch. As he shows off a combo, apparently not noticing Dawn, Brock recognises the girl as Jasmine, and rushes over to embarrass himself as Ash explains to Dawn that Jasmine is the Gym Leader of the Olivine Gym. Jasmine actually remembers Brock (somewhat) which gives him a momentary glimpse of happiness before getting asspounded by Croagunk and dragged away. As Dawn is introduced to Jasmine and Kenny inadvertently reveals he watched the Final of the Grand Festival, Team Rocket are watching from their ridiculously shitty hiding place of a couple of crates a small distance away. Meowth is determined that they're going to get Floatzel for the Boss, and explains why in a patented Crazy Meowth Giovanni fantasy. He imagines night at the Boss' luxurious home, Giovanni struggling to sleep due to the heat until.... Floatzel emerges from his swimming pool, comes into his bedroom and gives him his big life-preserver/boa thing to snuggle up with..... wait, what? James isn't following this bizarre line of reasoning either, but that doesn't bother Meowth who barrels on happily about how Giovanni will be so happy he will give them money. Well that's all Jesse and James really needed to hear and they fall into place immediately... till James realises that NOW they need a plan.
Meanwhile Kenny is explaining that Jasmine was reviewing his Contest Moves, which confuses Ash (a simple feat) since she's a Gym Leader, but she explains a "colleague" is watching the Gym for her and while he (give it up, Brock!) does that, she is learning more about Contests in order to improve her knowledge of Pokémon and battling overall. Kenny asks Dawn what she is doing now and she explains she's going along with Ash to cheer him on at the Sinnoh League, and Kenny.... asks what she intends to do after that.
Unexpectedly sidewinded by somebody asking her to think more than a month ahead about her life's direction, Dawn is at a loss. Kenny points out there is plenty of time before the next Grand Festival and what does she intend to do in the meantime? Go back to Twinleaf? Keep journeying? It's all a bit much for Dawn, who has been enjoying a life of bumming about Europe, not going to school or having to work for a living. Luckily she's saved by Floatzel being grabbed up by a mechanical hand in a rubber glove; it's Team Rocket in their balloon, whose strategy was apparently,"GRAB IT!"
"Get to the point, we're in a rush!"
"On the wind!"
"Past the stars!"
"You twerps are making me blush!"
Kenny is furious, yelling that Floatzel is HIS Pokémon, as if Team Rocket just thought it was a wild one hanging about and fair game for capture.
Yeah! Gotta go!" laughs Meowth.
"Overheat!"
Wait... that doesn't rhyme? And it wasn't James saying it! And a flaming monkey sends Team Rocket blasting off again and Floatzel returned to Kenny, all thanks to... Flint! It was his Infernape who saved it, Flint came down to the port in the hopes of catching Ash before he left and thanking him for reinvigorating his life partner Volkner and getting him back into the swing of things as a Gym Leader (and handing out all those same-sex kisses!). As Flint lounges in his low hanging pants with his ridiculous ginger-fro, Jasmine stares at him like Brock stares at her, then braces herself and approaches to introduce herself and challenge him to a battle! He's somewhat surprised but she says it isn't every day you get to challenge a member of the Elite Four (she should hang out with Ash more), and he tells her he is happy to accept a battle with such a beautiful challenger.
Well damn, Flint, you'll take your kisses wherever you can get them, won't you!
They head into a small wooded park beside the port, where Infernape will go up against Jasmine's Steelix, which is at a disadvantage against Infernape. Ash points out that it is also her strongest Pokémon though, and belatedly remembers to bring out his own Infernape to watch how Flint's handles itself in battle. Kenny frowns and makes a grumpy noise behind Dawn's back, and she asks him what the matter is, and he plays it off as nothing and shouts out his encouragement to Jasmine.
She opens with an Iron Tail, which Infernape dodges, so Steelix tries again, striking a blow that Infernape successfully deflects with a blocking strike. Steelix spins itself into a Sandstorm that Infernape attempts to Repel, once again blocking with its arms and breaking down the Sandstorm. Ash and Dawn loudly discuss Flint's battling style between themselves, pointing out that Flint tends to hold back defensively at first and then come out strong, and Kenny watches this all seemingly getting grumpier and grumpier.
Flint has Infernape use Flare Blitz, smashing directly into Steelix and sending it crashing back, knocking it out. Ash points out what a cool move that was to Infernape, and as they jabber on excitedly about Flint beating her with one move, Kenny just grumps on in the background. As Ash rushes off excitedly, presumably to talk to Flint, Kenny finally gets up the courage to speak. He gets Dawn's attention, looks her up and down (Piplup's presence stops him being able to check out her tits at all) and then informs her dramatically that he is going to go and challenge Ash to a battle, and if he wins, then he wants her to come away on a Pokémon Journey with him.
.....
.....
Dawn is shocked, and Kenny shouts that he HAD to tell her how he feels and runs off as she's left completely flummoxed and Brock is left with a knowing little smile, recognising a fellow loser in love.
As the sun is setting, all of them are up at the lighthouse looking out over the port where Flint explains his battling style, allowing his opponents to come at him and open themselves up for his inevitable counter-attack... but this is only effective if his opponent isn't considerably stronger than him, ala Cynthia - Champion of the Elite Four. Ash ask if he is intending to challenge Cynthia and he agrees that he is... but not until he has trained himself up a bit more. Just then Kenny blurts out his challenge to Ash... and Ash happily accepts, completely oblivious to how hepped up he is, then takes the wind out of his sails by saying they'll do it tomorrow since he's hungry and wants to have something to eat right now, leaving Kenny horrified. Brock manages to invite Jasmine along to the Pokémon Centre to join them, and Dawn invites Kenny along to try and somewhat make him feel better.
At the Centre, having eaten, they head out to walk off some of the meal they've just stuffed into their stomachs, only for some kids to spot Flint and swarm him, almost barrelling over Ash in the process. Dawn is hanging back looking depressed and Jasmine asks what the problem is, and Dawn explains that she wants to be Top Coordinator but right now all she can think about is cheering on Ash in the Sinnoh League and she doesn't know what she wants to do after that at all. Rather callously she's said this all in earshot of Kenny who still thinks it's all about the ass, while Jasmine offers a rare female insight for Dawn by talking about being in a similar situation herself once and wondering if she should continue as a Gym Leader and THAT is why she's on this journey right now. She tells Dawn she has to decide for herself what the best thing is for her, only SHE can make that decision for herself. But as one girl is giving another good advice, a boy is giving another boy terrible advice - it's Brock! Oh God no Brock, don't give Kenny romantic advice oh God no!
He offers to tell Kenny the true secret of love - which is about putting your heart on the line again and again and again and again and again and seeing it get broken again and again and again and again and again.... and THAT is the true secret of love! Somehow this horrible, soul-destroying piece of advice actually inspires Kenny though, who thanks Brock profusely.
But as Dawn and Kenny turn to older members of the same sex for advice on true love, Ash has turned to Flint for advice on his own truest and only love - Pokémon Battling! He wants Flint to tell him all about winning the Sinnoh League, a feat he desperately wants to emulate, completely oblivious to all the short skirts and trembling thighs and jealous hearts burning with the rage of the spurned all around him. They sit down and Flint reveals that he was about Ash's age when he won the Sinnoh League (Jesus Christ) and fighting a big fat man with a big fat Snorlax. His Monferno would attack and attack but fail to make an impact on Snorlax, which then bodyslammed his little Monferno and had it crushed underneath him like Kenny would like to crush Dawn beneath him. Ash asks how Flint managed to win and Flint laughs, saying,"You don't know? Because I'm a genius!"
Ash is left confused and depressed, since one thing he is NOT is a genius, and Flint explains that it wasn't about theory or strategy, the advice he always has is that only a person who truly believes he can win will win, regardless of strength or level or any of that nonsense.
Outside, Kenny has Empoleon practising its moves in preparation for battle tomorrow. Ash comes out and spots him, not smart enough to understand that maybe Kenny might want some privacy, and calls out Buizel to do some moves too. However one of Buizel's sonic booms off of a tree rebounds towards Empoleon, which deflects it back into Buizel. The two angrily square off and Ash has to restrain the Buizelster, saying it was his fault, but Kenny picks up on the aggression and asks Ash if their battle tomorrow can be between Empoleon and Buizel, which Ash happily agrees to.
The next day, the battle is on, Brock acting as judge and Dawn sitting spectating on two men fighting over her future.... though only one of them is aware of it and even if he wins there is no way Dawn would ever let him tap dat, regardless.
Kenny opens with Empoleon's Flash Cannon, then a Drill Peck when Buizel dodges. Buizel intercepts and blocks the attack, making use of Flint's battle style, but Kenny laughs that this might not work out as he planned. Empoleon uses Hydro Cannon and Ash tries to intercept and block it with Water Gun, but it's too powerful and smashes through to hit Buizel, then follows through with Metal Claw. But Ash was expecting that and has Buizel dodge and throw up an Ice Punch... and Empoleon dodges and strikes with a Metal Claw that connects. Ash gives up on the defensive strategy for the moment and moves in with an Ice Punch, but Empoleon dodges and uses Drill Peck, and Buizel can't dodge, hit hard and sent crashing into a wall, knocked out and unable to battle further.
But... but he's Kenny?
Dawn is flummoxed, Kenny is delighted, and Ash apologises to Buizel for focusing too much on using Flint's battling style. Brock tells him that this is good training for him too, he's been battling so long now that sometimes a loss is a good way to prevent overconfidence. Meanwhile, the triumphant Kenny stoically approaches Dawn and issues her with a reasonable sounding choice that is actually an ultimatum - he'll be at the lighthouse, and if she wants to turn her back on her close personal friends Brock and Ash to come and journey with him - a guy she hasn't seen more than 4-5 times in the last few months - then she'll meet him there.
On the automated streets, the twerps have rejoined Flint and Jasmine who were off doing their own thing (Tapping dat ass?). Jasmine explains she is going back to the Gym, and Flint tells Ash that he has decided he is going to challenge Cynthia NOW, because he's following his own advice, he didn't truly believe he could beat her so he never could, but now he has decided he truly does believe, and so he's going to go for it. They all wish him the best, Dawn hanging back behind the others and looking out to the side as they pass the lighthouse far in the distance.
At the port, Ash and a tearful Brock are up on the ferry waving their goodbyes to Flint and Jasmine.... but where is Dawn!?!
The ferry pulls away, while at the lighthouse Kenny stands watching and sees the ferry leave. He sighs and turns away.... and spots a note underneath a little Piplup paperweight. Picking up the note he reads it and learns that she has decided (as if it was really a decision) to continue on with Ash (not like that!) and cheer him on at the Sinnoh League, and AFTER that she intends to decide what to do next. Whatever it is, however, she is determined to be the best and strongest at whatever it is, and she has no doubt she WILL meet him again along the way. Kenny frowns as he reads, because now he definitely ISN'T going to be tapping dat, but then smiles. Picking up his bag, he hears her crying and turns to see her waving goodbye from the back of the ferry, calling out to him to take good care of himself. He calls back he'll be off on his own journey and that she can count on the fact that they'll meet again. So off he goes, still alone and still a loser even if he did beat Ash. Also on their way are Jasmine, returning to her Gym, Flint off to battle Cynthia, and Team Rocket... following the ferry in their Magikarp Submarine, happily declaring that it doesn't matter where the twerps go, they WILL follow.
Up at the front of the ferry, Ash finally, belatedly notes that Dawn isn't about. She steps up beside him and tells him she can't wait to get to the Sinnoh League Championship and cheer him on, while Brock smiles and thinks fondly of Kenny, out there being a smaller, slightly more successful at love version of himself. Why slightly more successful? And why did he smile at the end of her note? Perhaps because of the post-script.
Ahhhhh, so the opportunity remains that maybe, one day someway, somehow, he WILL get to tap dat!
| BEST QUOTES |
 "You looked kind of handsome when you beat Ash!" |
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