640: The Eighth Wonder of the Sinnoh World!
Dodgy Synopsis
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646: Dengeki Batoru! Saigo no Bajji!
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Today finds the twerps back at Volkner's Gym, and there's no more distractions or hold-ups, they're in the Gym already and preparing to fight - though Dawn is doing her best to distract Ash by wearing a cheerleader outfit and jumping about cheering for him. Luckily for Ash, he's a moron, so he pays no attention to the young girl in the tiny skirt bouncing about, focused entirely on Volkner and his eighth Gym Badge. According to Flint, word has gotten out that Volkner is accepting challenges again and they're lining up outside the Gym to challenge him, but he promised that his first challenge would come from Ash, and so they'll all have to wait to get their shot at....
But while the battle is beginning, over by Sunyshore Tower Team Rocket are back once again, ready for another shot at stealing the tower which ruined Ash's first battle against Volkner.
At the battle, its Electivire vs Torterra, a Fire Punch blocking Leaf Storm and impressing Brock who is amazed to see an offensive attack used in a defensive capability (has he not been watching Ash these last 13 goddamn years?). Ash is too stupid to be worried though and asks for another Leaf Storm, and when it is blocked again he uses the distraction to fire in an Energy Ball and score a direct shot on Electivire. Torterra uses Rock Climb to bring up rocky pillars underneath Electivire, then charge up to attack.... and runs straight into an Ice Punch!
Torterra is frozen in place and sent crashing back down the rocks, shattering the ice and being knocked out - Ash has already lost one of his three Pokémon! Volkner is impressed with Ash's tactics so far though, and tells Ash he is enjoying their battle so far - which for Volkner is high prize indeed. Ash jumps straight to the big guns next, and sends in his MVP - Pikachu.
Back at Sunyshore Tower, Team Rocket's strategy for breaking into the Tower is to.... try and haul the doors open by hand! The doors aren't having a bar of it though, as all three struggle and strain like three frat boys who are sure the door is just being uptight and will totally loosen up once they get into it I mean Jesus they brought it a beer and everything. Finally they tear it open.... and a bigger more forbidding door slams down in its place. It seems they're going to have to get this door even drunker!
Ash, meanwhile, has sent in Pikachu with a Quick Attack, but Electivire dodges and tries a Fire Punch. Pikachu dodges that and uses Thunderbolt, but Electivire blocks the attack with its own arm (goddamn!) and does it again when Pikachu tries again. Dawn can't believe it and asks Flint what is happening, and Flint explains this is Electivire's "Ability", from which Brock extrapolates to mean "Motor Drive", a move that neutralizes an opponent’s Electric Attacks. Ash figures the best thing to do would be to get close enough for an Iron Tail attack, and the best way to do that? Yell at Pikachu to use Iron Tail! It tries, but Electivire is surprisingly fast and strafes away, getting behind Pikachu. It turns out that Motor Drive also increases its speed, and it zooms in fast for a Fire Punch and scores a direct hit. Next it hammers Pikachu with Ice Punch.... but for some reason its arm starts to spark, and when it tries again it is halted by more sparks and Brock realises that this is Pikachu's ability - Static! Electivire may have been able to block Thunderbolt but Static has gotten through, and Electivire trips as Pikachu dodges under an attempted Ice Punch. Pikachu leaps in and hits an Iron Tail on Electivire's frantic last ditch Ice Punch, and again Static zaps Electivire. It comes staggering in slowly for another Ice Punch, and... right between the eyes, Madeline! Iron Tail puts Electivire down, it's 1-1 and Volkner is delighted, this is how battling is meant to be and how it used to be for him. Flint is smugly complacent though, telling Brock that Volkner hasn't shown anywhere near his best yet.
At Sunyshore Tower, Team Rocket have headed around to the back entrance, and James suggests they "try the backdoor, it works at home."
Meowth reaches for the keypad on the door, and all three are electrocuted, falling to the ground and complaining that for a guy who wants to conserve energy, Volkner sure doesn't mind overusing it.
The man himself is complimenting Ash on a well fought battle so far, and then sends out Jolteon, while Ash goes for Infernape. Jolteon zaps Infernape hard and knocks it back, but it gets back up ready for more, dodging a Shadow Ball and then smacking multiple more out of the air with Mach Punch. Jolteon leaps into the air to use Shadow Ball, but Infernape leaps out of the smoke caused by its punches and scores a direct shot of Mach Punch and crashes Jolteon into the roof before it falls back to the ground and.... is out! With ONE move Ash has knocked out Volkner's second Pokémon and moved ahead 2-1 against the undefeatable Volkner!
Back at Sunyshore Tower, Team Rocket have somehow made it inside and are trudging through the halls, Jesse complaining about the "perm" that they've all unwittingly received for entering. They've noticed some "subtle decor changes" in the interior, and Meowth suggests they "hit the deck" and make take control.
Volkner's third and final Pokémon is Luxray, and Ash recalls Infernape and sends Pikachu back in. Flint notes (through clenched teeth for some reason) that Ash seems to have had a confidence boost, and then the battle begins. Pikachu zooms in to attack and Luxray uses Shockwave, which zaps Pikachu in the forehead and.... knocks it flying! Why? Shockwave shouldn't have done much of anything to Pikachu, but Flint notes that "here" it is in a league of its own.
So Pikachu smashes Luxray's face and spine in with multiple Iron Tails!
This brutalization doesn't seem to bother Flint up in the stands though, who smugly watches Pikachu shattering the bones in Luxray's body and notes it isn't going to go that easily for long. Indeed, as Pikachu goes for another Iron Tail, Luxray's fangs spark up and it uses Thunder Fang to bite down on Pikachu's tail!
Pikachu is caught and takes the full force of the attack, falling back and not able to react in time to avoid a full shot of Shockwave into its asshole (seriously!). It is sent crashing back and is too dazed to continue, and it's back to 2-2 with Luxray left to go up against Infernape.
Team Rocket have reached what seems to be a Generator Room and not the Control Room, but when they turn to leave... the doors won't open!
Volkner tells Ash that win or lose, it's a shame this will be their final battle (he means the final battle of this match, not that this is a battle to the death or anything) and Flint - once again through clenched teeth - notes that while Volkner might be stronger, Ash's determination is incredible. Flamethrower goes up against Shockwave, and both attacks seem roughly equal. Infernape leaps in with Mach Punch, but Luxray dodges uses Double Team and then bites into Infernape's arm with Thunder Fang. Infernape pulls clear and dodges a Shockwave, but can't score a Mach Punch and gets caught in a Thunder Fang on its side. As they fall towards the ground, Infernape uses Dig to escape from another Thunder Fang, but Luxray uses Iron Tail and crashes through the ground, knocking Infernape out of the earth and to the ground, barely able to move. Volkner notes it is amazing how time flies when you're having fun and he regrets this... but it's time to end it with Thunder Fang. Ash begs Infernape to get up, telling him he knows he can do it, he can get up.
Inside Sunyshore Tower, Jesse is insisting to James and Meowth that the more buttons the push, the greater the chance of success. So James and Meowth are frantically hitting buttons on the control panel in the Generator Room till they overload the machine which zaps electricity out at them while Jesse complains that they shouldn't have listened to her and they moan that it's difficult not to be forced to listen to that mouth. Bits of machinery explode and before you know it, Team Rocket are blasting off again, their hair once again permed and Jesse sighing that at least it's cheaper than a beauty parlour.
In the Gym, Luxray is about to strike when the lights in the Gym go out, giving it pause. Volkner asks Ash what he wants to do and Ash says no matter what he wants to continue the battle, Volkner tells Luxray to use Thunder Fang.... but that's when they notice that Infernape IS ON FUCKING FIRE AND IT IS PISSED!
Oooooh shiiiiit.
Blaze has activated, a massive increase in power after taking massive damage. One hit could put it down, but any shot it scores could put Luxray down as well. Brock and Dawn explain to an impressed Flint that unfortunately Infernape has a poor record of going insane when IT'S HEAD IS ON FIRE and it could happen again, and what happens if it does it again
Infernape blasts fire at Luxray and then at the ceiling, dropping debris around the startled twerps. Ash yells to Infernape to cut it out, and it turns its balefire zombie-like glare on him and begins stomping towards him. Alarmed, Pikachu prepares to attack but Ash has it stand down, smirking at Infernape and telling it that he knows it can hear him and intends to work with him. It gets closer, then smiles and turns to face Luxray - Ash is in control and Volkner is delighted.... though one has to wonder how Luxray feels about all this!
A massive Flamethrower almost scores a direct shot on Luxray, the heat of which alone is enough to alarm it. It leaps in with Thunder Fang and bites down... and the insane ON FIRE Infernape punches it right in the fucking face! It tries to come back with Iron Tail and gets punched in its face again, and Ash tells Infernape to end this with Flame Wheel. It spins into a wheel of flame and drives straight into Luxray, smashing it back into the wall and knocking it out easily... it's over, Ash wins!
Ash.... Ash just defeated the undefeatable Gym Leader!
Ash celebrates with his badge, Infernape and Pikachu (poor Torterra!) and then as the sun sets, Ash shakes hands with Volkner who thanks him for making him remember how it felt to enjoy battling. Flint tells him that he and Volkner will be rooting for him (oh I bet they will!) at the Sinnoh League, and it is.... a month away! It'll be happening at Lily of the Valley Island, and they can get there from Sunyshore Port! Excited, the twerps head off in a rush as Volkner and Flint wave goodbye, after which one presumes that they'll fix up Sunyshore Tower.... oh yeah, and maybe get in some more same-sex kissing!
| BEST QUOTES |
 "Let's try the backdoor, it works at home!" |
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