For The Love Of Meowth
Dodgy Synopsis
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Sayonara Roketto-dan! Nyasu no Koi!?
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Today finds the twerps.... fighting Team Rocket!?! Already!?!
It's Seviper vs Torterra, and it's no surprise that Team Rocket get their asses kicked and are sent blasting off.... already!?!?! Really? Oh....
Having crashed down, Jesse and James groan and moan for awhile (not like that) and then notice that Meowth is missing. Where is he? Somewhere else, a little girl and a Glameow find Meowth unconscious laid over a rock, and take him to the shade of a tree, apply some medicine and put a cold compress on his head. He finally wakes up and sees Glameow looking at him, thinking he's having hallucinations of loveliness till the little girl shoves her ugly haircut in his face to tell him what he already knows, that he's awake. He sits up and asks what happened and the little girl shows absolutely no reaction or surprise at all to hear him speak, telling him what happened before belatedly (and with little more than vague pleasantness) noting that she can't believe he can talk. Meowth tells her it is a "gift" and agrees to have lunch with them, enjoying "great grub" and a gorgeous Glameow to do the brunch business with, brushing paws with Glameow while reaching for a sandwich, blushing with delight. But just as he's really getting into the whole thing, Jesse and James' voices catch his attention, and moments later he is reunited with them as they surprisingly act gracious to the little girl and say their thanks, insisting the still blushing Meowth do the same before heading out on their way.... and then returning to physically remove Meowth who hasn't moved.
Soon they're cruising along in their Happy Buddha Face Meowth Balloon, a wobbly-eyed Meowth seeing Glameow everywhere - including in the clouds. Jesse and James insist that Meowth get out of the doldrums and come up with a new plan, and he has one! He'll.... he'll capture Glameow! Jesse and James are understandably confused but a sweating Meowth insists the Boss will be delighted, and when they ask him to clarify he sweats some more as he struggles to come up with a phony patented Crazy Meowth Giovanni Fantasy.
He asks them to picture Giovanni in bed (wearing spotty pyjamas!) waking up and seeing Glameow on his dresser and.... being really happy! As plans go, it's not the best, but Jesse shrugs and says their sack is empty (hey hey!) so they'll go along for the ride.
Meanwhile, the little girl and her Glameow have bumped into - who else? - the twerps! Introductions are made as they move down the road together, the little girl's name is Mamie (OOOOOH MAMMY!) and she is on a trainer's journey as well but hasn't been able to get a Gym Badge yet. She recently challenged Crasher Wake but failed to defeat the insane wrestler, but they're sure she will get a Gym Badge soon so long as they don't fall to their deaths while crossing this rickety wooden bridge or anyth-
Oh!
Luckily somebody thought to put a cage beneath the bridge, but rather than being grateful for being saved (or just climbing out of the shallow cage with no roof) they demand to know who would have put a cage there.... and for once even poor dim Ash knows enough to figure out who it was.
"Ahh the wonderment of a child!"
"For a twerp thinking it all is wild!"
"On the wind!"
"Past the stars!"
"Yer not getting ME riled!" cries Meowth, and cuts off the motto early by grabbing up Glameow in a giant mechanical rubber hand. Mamie freaks out and then.... does an incredibly sensible thing and recalls Glameow to its Pokeball!
Meowth freaks the fuck out, and James sends out Carnivine to assist.... and gets his head chewed on for his troubles. Meanwhile the twerps (who still haven't climbed out of the little cage) have recovered enough for Ash to send Buizel out to fight with Carnivine, but in the meantime Meowth gets a small rubber hand attached to a fishing rod and grabs the Pokeball from Mamie, who loses all of her "common sense" cred by letting the Pokeball be ripped from her hand. Team Rocket then drop the bottom out of the cage (why didn't the twerps climb out!?!) and send them falling into the river below as Team Rocket make their escape.
Shortly after, Ash and Dawn dry off Piplup and Pikachu's fur while Brock lets the water out of his shoes and Mamie whimpers about the loss of Glameow. They promise they'll help her get Glameow back from Team Rocket, who meanwhile have found themselves trapped in a Peanuts Cartoon.
However Meowth's plan is starting to fall apart as Jesse mentions it is time to get the Pokeball to the Boss. Meowth frantically insists they take their time and get some rest first, and begs Jesse to let him do the heavy lifting and carry the Pokeball. Confused by his eagerness, she notes it's a Pokeball, not a bowling ball, and he stares with sweating impatience at her hips, desperate to get his paws on the sweet goodness that lies within.
Later that night, after the twerps have given up looking for the night, we find Team Rocket sleeping in hammocks suspended up in the trees. Meowth waits till he is sure they're all asleep, then crawls down onto Jesse and begins rummaging around in her skirt to get what he's after (oh like you wouldn't). Moaning happily, he takes the Pokeball out and rushes off to be alone, calling Glameow out and blushing happily when he sees her. She smiles to see him too, and asks him where her trainer is, which upsets him since he's a freaky fucking stalker who can't believe the object of his frantic obsessions isn't equally enamoured with him. He tells her that Jesse and James are bad people and they can't stick around them, because they'll end up being sent blasting off again and again, and furthermore they FORCED Meowth to capture her but he'll save her because he's like... he's like a dashing Prince who rides in a Rapidash to save her.... all of which creates an odd mental image in Glameow's mind.
Cocking her head at him, none too bright but rather pleasant, she listens as Meowth tries to explain that battling for a trainer isn't the be-all and end-all of life. She ponders if he means they should be a team, and tells him she likes battles (all of this is being translated for us by Meowth, of course) so he tells her that she can battle all she wants and he'll be by her side, he can cook for her too AND do dishes! She just murmurs the odd meow back at him as he rabbits on eagerly, and they move on along till they find a boat in the river and he suggests a moonlight ride.
They sail down the river looking at that big ol' moon, and the next day the twerps set about looking for the stolen Pokémon again while Team Rocket wake up and discover that the Pokeball is missing and so is Meowth. James spots a note taped to Jesse's back with a Meowth pawprint on it, and they read it and discover that Meowth has.... left them! He's left Team Rocket!
The note says their long shared dream of conquering Sinnoh is over for him now, all he wants is domestic bliss with Glameow and he bids them a fond farewell. They shocked and appalled, but James quickly realises that Meowth played them to get Glameow, and Jesse quickly becomes enraged - which never actually takes much - and insists that they track him down to give him a piece of their mind... and probably fists and feet too.
Soon they're sailing overhead looking about with their binoculars.... only to find themselves face to face with Staraptor and Togekiss. The twerps have tracked them down, and they're proper fucked as they don't even get a chance to react before their balloon is blown the fuck up and they crash to the ground, Jesse clutching her ass and James clutching his head. The twerps slide in and demand the return of Glameow and the Pokeball, but Jesse and James explain that they're out of luck - Meowth has taken off with Glameow. As Mamie tries to ponder why Glameow would run off with Meowth (she's too young to understand the concept of DEATH AND COCK!), Jesse and James leap up and propose a bargain - first to find Glameow gets to keep her! With that they run off leaving the twerps gaping, and that's as good as a verbal contract to them!
Meanwhile Meowth and Glameow are still sailing serenely down the river, Meowth peeling an apple and handing it over to his lady love, telling her that this sure beats a life of trying to steal Pokémon. Just then Yanmega zips up alongside the boat, followed by Staraptor and Togekiss (how slow is that fucking current?) and Meowth realises he's been ambushed. The twerps demand Glameow back and Meowth tries to cheese it by rowing down the river, but Piplup's Whirlpool knocks them out of the boat and onto shore, where Team Rocket demand he hand over Glameow. He insists that he'll protect her no matter what, and we see the impossible - Ash and Jesse send out their Pokémon together to fight a common foe!
Meowth uses "Fury Swipes of Love" to cut through Seviper and Infernape's attacks, hearts ringing up through the attack. They attack him two at a time and he cuts through them both with "Double Fury Swipes of Love" and then when Dawn sends in Togekiss to join Staraptor and Togekiss, he uses "Multi-Point Fury Swipes of Love" and takes them ALL out at once! Holy crap!
Meowth insists that strategy and strength means nothing against love, his love for Glameow gives him the strength of 10 Meowths.... 11 on a good day! Brock frowns as he recognises a kindred spirit in the obsessional power of stalking, while Dawn notes that Meowth has it bad and Ash.... asks her what she means, causing her to sigh and tell the idiot to just forget it. Oh Ash :)
Meowth is cackling that he could take down Dialga AND Palkia both at once, and doesn't wait for an attack, coming in with multiple points of Fury Swipes in a pre-emptive strike. James realises he has to get involved too and calls out Carnivine, getting his head eaten for his troubles before throwing it into the fray and having it use Bullet Seed. Meowth is knocked back and the attack hits Glameow as well, which frowns and.... evolves into Purugly!
Jesse - hilariously - rushes in and unwinds Purugly's tail from around its belly, causing its belly to flop out with a boinging sound. Giggling to herself that this was a mistake, she wraps the belly back up in the tail before squeaking away, while Meowth wakes up and discovers his beautiful Glameow has been replaced by a fat housewife!
It crashes down on him and mumble-purrs at him to hurry up and get it some grub, and he can't understand why it is insisting he live up to his word and pander and pamper it. The others explain to Meowth that Glameow has evolved into Purugly, and in a fantastic montage we see his love shatter and break apart in various symbolic ways - including a building exploding and a Meowth statue shattering. He moans to Purugly that he'll feed it if it wakes him up from his nightmare, while Meowth takes a battering from the other Pokémon to knock some sense into him, and Purugly struts away after kicking some dirt back onto him as if he was nothing but a piece of shit.
As Mamie greets Purugly, delighted since she always wanted it to evolve, Meowth rushes back to Jesse and James and insists that Purugly stick with its trainer and just forget about him because that's for the best and uhhh.... well, I mean damn lady, you got fat! Brock notes to Mamie that Purugly is a lot stronger now and she realises that it can use Hyperbeam... and tests it out by sending Team Rocket blasting off again! As they soar through the air, Jesse and James tell Meowth that some fence-mending is in order... perhaps he should rejoin their Team? He grunts that at least he doesn't have to make them sandwiches, and off they disappear into the distance.
As the sun sets, the twerps part ways with Mamie at a fork in the road, as her Purugly waddles along by her side. For Ash, the dim young boy has failed to understand just what the hell they spent the last two days doing, all he knows is that it's all stuff that happens between Gym Battles - and now it's time for his 8th!
| BEST QUOTES |
 "I don't know where my love went but it bought a one-way ticket!" |
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