629: Teaching the Student Teacher!
Dodgy Synopsis
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635: Umibe no Pokémon Sukuru!
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Today finds the twerps arriving at the beach on a picturesque seaside town as the sun sets. Sitting on the beach under a sun umbrella looking out over the ocean is none over than Dawn's mother and her Glameow (and her evil bouffant hairdo of doom). This isn't an unexpected meeting, apparently it was pre-organised, Johanna has something in mind for the twerps, she wants them....
Sitting on a restaurant patio on the beach, we discover that Dawn didn't actually bother to tell Ash or Brock they were going to meet her mother. Johanna explains that she often travels to guest lecture at classes for Pokémon Coordinators, catching Pokémon and breeding them (snicker). Johanna gets a message and heads off while the twerps look over the lesson plan and decide to go sit in on the class. Just then Johanna returns looking worried, telling them that a Pokémon Contest taking place tomorrow is short of a Judge because the useless Nurse Joy is actually busy for once doing work and nobody wants to hire on Officer Jenny because of her noted corruption and susceptibility to bribes. So Johanna is going to have to Guest Judge... but then who will teach her class?
Why.... how about three idiot unemployed children!?!
Brock enthusiastically insists that he will handle the "breeding section" (snicker) and Johanna agrees that the best person to teach a class of impressionable children is Ash.
That's right, Ash.
Ash.
The next day they assemble on the beach with the class of.... five children. That's it, that's the class - five children. This is what Johanna does with her life; this is why she is too busy to update her hairstyle apparently. One of the kids is a little jerk who is too cool for school.... but is.... is at school..... and anyway he doesn't think Ash and Dawn can possibly be qualified to teach (He's right!), asking if they have even won a Contest Ribbon. Dawn shows off hers (ribbons, you freaks) and then Ash shows off his 7 Badges, causing Johnny McTooCool to grunt that this means Ash is missing one - which he is!
Why does Ash never mention the other 24 he DOES have!?!?! Not to mention Spooky Danny's brooch?
Pikachu and Piplup are introduced to the kids, but Lil' Johnny FuckY'All is less than impressed and grabs Piplup by the cheeks and tugs on them ferociously, causing the proud little penguin to vault high in the air squeaking in a rage. Dawn tells the little jerk (not Piplup!) off and insists that he wouldn't like being treated that way himself. She asks his name and sadly it is Thomas, not Johnny, and despite himself he is impressed when the twerps call out all of their Pokémon, though he tries to throw on a disaffected air as the other kids rush to play with the Pokémon.
Meanwhile, at the Pokémon Contest.... Jesselina! YES! She gets her own Contest without Dawn about! And what an entrance! She rushes in and calls out Seviper... but not just any Seviper - WINGED SEVIPER!
The Crowd goes wild, the Judges seem impressed, James (again blatantly in his Team Rocket outfit) Meowth and Wobbuffet are enthusiastic, and Jesse is sure she has that 4th Ribbon in the bag.
Back at the beach, Brock is casually explaining the mechanics of Pokémon fucking to the children while Croagunk stares a hole through the head of the small girl in front of him. Young Thomas Fuckknuckle is still holding back though, and casts a devious look at Piplup over where it is sunbathing on the beach. As Brock explains the way to adapt the diet and taste of Pokémon food and how to tell how healthy they are - usually by stroking their flesh.
Oh Brock.
A furious squeaking catches the twerps’ attention and they turn to see Thomas running laughing along the beach, chased by a livid Piplup which has marker all over its face. Strangely Ash and Dawn seem more resigned than upset over this Pokémon abuse, and a short time later as a Krabby scuttles over the rocks behind them, Ash tells the story of how he caught Gible - which stands gaping mouthed beside him. Ash confuses himself in the telling, wondering if he actually caught Gible at all and then smiling stupidly and proclaiming that whatever, they're buds now!
This is the person teaching these children.
Gible responds by trying to eat Ash's head which causes the kids to laugh (even Thomas!) and then Ash pulls out his balls.... his Pokeballs (what a lame joke) but Thomas isn't impressed, every trainer has at least ONE Pokeball. With Gible returned to its Pokeball, Ash gives the kid a rubber ball to throw at a target to practise trying to catch Pokémon. Two children try and fail and Ash offers to show how it is done - first you have to POSE!
Dawn comments to Brock that you don't have to pose but Brock points out Ash is feeling pumped up. Ash hits the target bang on and then instructs on the necessity of posing after getting the ball back, joined by Pikachu and a rubber ball, but Thomas isn't impressed. Ash offers him a shot and he takes the rubber ball and throws it bang on.... directly into Piplup's face! The furious penguin chases after Thomas again who laughs that they're the ones who told him to throw the ball, while Brock ponders why it is that Thomas appears to be "joking" (abusing) around with ONLY Pikachu. Lunch is served up by Brock and the kids all chow down, but once again Thomas is bratty and complains that it is only okay.
Meanwhile, Jesse is into the Final against some tall stern looking adult man, and is fiery with determination that she is going to win.
Dawn's class is next, but as she eats lunch she is worried that Thomas is going to cause problems for her. She looks over at the sour faced little bastard and worried how he is going to fuck things up for her. Class time comes and she explains the basic rules of a Pokémon Contest, and all of the kids seem to be following along just fine except for Thomas who complains that she isn't making any sense and she needs to just say what she means. Grumpy, Dawn says that maybe it would be best just to show him, and calls out Mamoswine and Cyndaquil and demonstrates a Combination Attack - Flame Ice. Despite himself Thomas is awed, but when the move ends he grumps that it is just "all right", so she decides to show him the same move... but with a different Pokémon! Mamoswine and Pachirisu are going to do Ice Chandelier!
ICE CHANDELIER!?!
Sadly an impressive start falls apart when the ice shatters, and Thomas grumpily proclaims that not only it is not a finished move, but that it was boring since Pachirisu was just standing still inside of the ice. Dawn seems downcast, and admits that he might be right.
As the kids play at making sandcastles with the Pokémon, Dawn sits at a rock looking at the ocean and thinking about the failed move. Ash tries to sympathise with her and Brock tells her that it's a tough move and will require a lot of work. They suggest maybe she give it up but she insists it is a move she REALLY wants to work, and intends to see that it does..... but CAN it be done?
And then against all expectations, Thomas provides her with inspiration! Leaping up, she calls the kids together and shows them some crude drawings of Pachirisu and a lot of x's (Not porn) and tells them this is the REAL Ice Chandelier. Thomas grumps that it looks the same as before, but she surprises him by telling him that he gave her some good advice, she intends for Pachirisu to SPIN this time while using Discharge. The result?
ICE CHANDELIER!
But as the students (including Thomas) gawp, Pachirisu is getting dizzy inside the Ice and loses control, shattering the ice and collapsing in a heap, the move failing yet again. Brock says it is a good idea, but it requires more spinning to work, while Dawn hunches down next to Pachirisu and apologises, but it leaps up and squeaks that it wants to have another go. Thomas snaps grumpily that it doesn't matter what she does, she can't stop Pachirisu from getting dizzy from the spinning. Once again she takes the words of a little jerk kid to heart... and then once again finds inspiration from them somehow.
More importantly than all of that though.... Jesselina has won a 4th Contest Ribbon!
Johanna offers a comment that Seviper has a beautiful Haze and executes an amazing Poison Tail - a former Grand Festival Winner is giving Jesse credit where credit is due!
Back at the beach, Dawn calls out Buneary to use instead of Mamoswine and tells it to create a spinning Ice Beam to surround Pachirisu with a growing ball of ice. The hollow inside is larger than that created by Mamoswine's Ice Shard, and so Pachirisu doesn't have to spin now, instead it can just run around the interior while using Discharge and create a proper Ice Chandelier!
Thomas is as excited as the other kids, and grabs Piplup by the paws and dances around in a circle with it happily till pausing and gaping, the two of them staring into each other’s eyes and then leaning forward to passionately kiss... wait, sorry, this isn't Internet Fanfic, they just laugh at apparently being friends now!
Dawn thanks Buneary and Pachirisu for their hard work, then turns to thank Thomas... and they discover him and Piplup splashing water at each other happily in the surf. Brock guesses that Thomas really liked Piplup all along but because he is a heterosexual male he didn't know how to verbalise his feelings so took to teasing Piplup instead.
As the sun sets, Dawn thanks Thomas again for his help and he tells her that he really likes Ice Chandelier and thinks it will go over great at the Grand Festival. That night they're reunited with Johanna who tells them that Jesselina put on a great display and won her 4th Ribbon at the Contest. Brock then gets hold of Johanna's Sweet Buns and clings to them lovingly, staring at them with joy in his eyes (watch the episode if you don't believe me, Gentle Dodgers!) while Dawn is presented with a new dress made by Johanna for use in the Grand Festival. It seems like everything has worked out for the best, even for Team Rocket! And so the next day the twerps set off once again with a wave goodbye to Johanna and her tiny class of children and one little jerk ass boy.
The Grand Festival is coming... but hopefully not before Jesse can get her 5th Ribbon!
| BEST QUOTES |
 "I'll handle the breeding section!" |
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