628: The Fleeing Tower of Sunyshore!
Dodgy Synopsis
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634: Hasshin! Nagisa Tawa!
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Last episode saw Ash throw down with Flint of the Elite Four and... well, quite frankly, get his ass kicked. But the sheer stupid stubborn determination that Ash showed managed to shake Sunyshore Gym Leader Volkner out of his lack of same-sex kissing emo funk and he agreed to finally accept a challenge in his Gym rather than just give badges away. So when will the battle be? RIGHT! It's 3-on-3, only Ash can substitute, and it's time to battle RIGHT NOW!
Volkner sends out Luxray and Ash opens with Grotle, and the battle is on, no excuses, no way out, they can't leave....
Wait.... that doesn't make a lick of sense....
Anyways, the two Pokémon face off as Flint tells Brock that type advantage really won't make much difference, since Volkner's Pokémon are so strong. Luxray avoids Razor Leaf and uses Spark to score a hard shot, and in his bar/restaurant THE PROPRIETOR looks up as if sensing... that the televised battle on the TV screen only a few feet away is happening and how come his customers aren't more excited to see the legendary Gym Leader and the source of their city's wealth and high standard of living coming out of self-imposed solitude.
Back in the battle, Grotle has absorbed the damage and is still ready to fight... when suddenly the lights go out! Not just in the Gym, but all over the town, televisions turn off, conveyer belts stop, robots (including the Gym's Robot Judge) fall over and the entire city grinds to a halt. Ash and Volkner are confused (the former is no surprise) and the battle is paused (NOOOO!) as Volkner goes to check the power switches on the gym, Flint impatiently telling him to get the power running again so they can return to the battle. Nothing is working though, they even have to force open the automatic doors to get out of the Gym, where Officer Jenny comes running up to tell Volkner they have problems, as if they didn't already know.
Brock tries to use the moment inappropriately to hold Jenny's hand and have a small moment of pathetic phony happiness... but Croagunk won't even let him have that, asspunching him and dragging him away. Jenny tells Volkner and Flint that power is off throughout the whole town, which seems impossible since it is solar powered - the panels throughout the city absorbing energy which is processed and stored at Sunyshore Tower. Just then the very tower itself begins to shake, and as the twerps rush to it they discover it is now sitting on.... wheels!?! What's going on!?!
"Listen up, to the wisdom at the top of the tower!""Our diabolical plan is beginning to flower!"
"On the wind!"
"Past the stars!"
"Fight da powah!"
"There's no electricity over there!"
"Or wouldn't you know, not over there!"
"A blackout by any other name's just as black."
"When it comes to chaos, we've got the knack!"
"Jesse."
"And James."
"Meowth, dat's a name!"
"Putting the do-gooders in their place!" says Jesse, as Meowth and James chant a DUH-DUH-DUH-DUH beat behind her.
"We're Team Rocket!"
"In your face!" they all finish together.
The twerps explain who Team Rocket are, and Team Rocket correct them that they're not Pokémon Thieves.... today! Rather they're stealing the tower! The puns fly thick and fast (Meowth even tells them to pay attention) and then the tower peels out!
That's right... the TOWER peels out!
Volkner and Raichu chase after, followed by Flint and the twerps and.... not Officer Jenny, who just stands there watching other people do her job for her, till Nurse Joy shows up presumably to give her an excuse not to be a pro-active law enforcement agent.
Meanwhile, Team Rocket are wrapped up deep in the throes of a patented Crazy Meowth Giovanni Fantasy! A naked one!
Apparently their fantasy - mostly narrated by James this time! - involves giving the Tower to Giovanni who will use it to power his base, making it so warm and snuggly and nice to live in that he'll sleep on the carpet, do the dishes by the window and jump his naked ass into a hot bath!
Hilariously, once Meowth takes over the narration the fantasy Giovanni turns from a cartoony figure to a built up, muscular, sweat-glistening Boss, talking about how thanks to "Meowth and Friends" he is relaxing, using clean energy and saving the environment!
The twerps, remarkably keeping up with the driving Tower, turn a corner and find that Team Rocket are making use of Sunyshore's little used Rocketship Launching Pad (The City Council was warned that approving that would come back to bite them on the ass!) to send Sunyshore Tower blasting off! Flint, Volkner, Raichu, Ash and Pikachu manage to jump on as it takes off, leaving Dawn and Brock behind. Similarly useless are Officer Jenny and Nurse Joy, who are heading for the Pokémon Centre where apparently the back-up Generator has failed. Just then a rumbling noise catches their attention, and they turn to see.... a rather bizarre sight!
You don't see something like that every day! And if you do, you have a much better life than any of us!
Despite the G-Force and velocity and physics and the like, Ash, Volkner, Flint, Raichu and Pikachu are able to cling on to the side and continue climbing. But then Flint slips and falls past the blasting fuel cells and into the water below. Ash also slips and falls for a LOOOOONG time till suddenly Volkner is able to grab his wrist and lift him back up, taking them in through a service entrance thanks to his intimate knowledge of the Tower.
He would also have been able to find entrance to Flint, Gentle Dodgers!
Flint reunites with Brock and Dawn and they head to the Pokémon Centre to catch Officer Jenny up on her goddamn job, while the Rocketing Tower levels out and Team Rocket's control room adjusts their position relative to the angle of the Tower. Nurse Joy walks into the room holding a giant wired plug and announces that everything is ready to go, having apparently been about to engage in some wildly inappropriate same-sex kissing of her own. Brock mistakenly thinks the giant electric sex toy is for his use and vaults towards her flinging puns at her face like he wants to fling sperm at her eggs, only to get asspunched by Croagunk and dragged away again.
Shockingly it turns out the giant sex toy was just a novelty sized plug to set into... a couple of bicycles! Flint instantly picks up that these are for powering up the Center to keep the machinery running for the sick Pokémon, and jumps onto one and starts peddling, telling Brock to join him.
I still say they were for some kind of bizarre fucked up sex fetish thing, damn it! The people of Sunyshore live lives free of want or need with plenty of time to screw around being morally bankrupt!
Inside the Tower, Volkner tells Ash they have to protect the town's Sunny Shores, and Ash is able to figure out that is where Sunyshore gets its name. With that completely pointless interlude done with, we return to the Pokémon Centre where Brock is getting knackered peddling the bike, and Flint angrily tells him to keep it up. This man demands more stamina from his partners who are the same sex as him.... his same sex partners! Dawn rushes by with some towels and then Nurse Joy approaches Brock and tells him she is relying on him, she needs him; she has to have him.... continue to pedal!
As all the blood rushes to Brock's head (think about it, folks), Ash and Volkner approach the control room and prepare to bust through... and a cage falls on top of them! Team Rocket have been watching them since they entered the tower and been prepared for them the entire time! When Pikachu and Raichu try to blast them out, the power just gets redirected, since after all this IS a tower designed to absorb energy! Team Rocket even provide a handy diagram!
Ash calls out Gible instead, and the black-eyed, gaping mouth shark bursts straight through the cage.... then the door, then launches itself straight at Team Rocket's control booth and begins chowing away! Not for any reason or strategy, but just because!
Ash recalls Gible as Jesse shouts out that it has an eating disorder, and then throws out a ridiculously stupid comeback at Ash when he demands they return Sunyshore Tower, telling him it is time to return HIM! She stands spread-legged and full of passion (hey hey!) as she prepares to fight, James trying to help by calling out Carnivine and just causing more problems for them all.
Raichu and Pikachu try to blast Team Rocket, but once again the power is redirected to the storage device for the tower, while Seviper and Carnivine press the attack against Raichu and Pikachu, knocking them both down (this is the Pikachu that stood up to multiple direct attacks from a member of the Elite Four!). Ash sends in Grotle to stop Carnivine and Seviper from attacking... and it evolves!
Torterra uses Leaf storm to kick things off, delighting Ash and infuriating Team Rocket who claim sudden Evolution is against the rules. Ash goes right back to the well to play with his new move, having Torterra use Leaf storm, sending Team Rocket blasting off again.... but also leaving a hole in the side of the tower currently rocketing through the air hundreds if not thousands of feet above the ground!
Volkner manages to seal the hole, but there is a still a problem, they have to turn the Tower around and return it to Sunyshore. He asks Pikachu and Raichu to help, while back in Sunyshore Brock has pretty much used up all his juice. Dawn steps up and asks him to keep pumping, but she doesn't have quite the (tits) encouragement to (make him horny) fired up enough to keep going. Nurse Joy approaches again and begs him to know that she needs him, and he fit to explodes as he begins pumping full power again.
A rumbling catches their attention and they turn to see Sunyshore Tower rocketing towards the city.... and straight towards them! They duck as the tower shoots overhead, and as Flint and Brock stop pedalling in surprise, the Emergency Generator kicks back into action, as down below THE PROPREITOR gives Officer Jenny a thumbs up.
Inside the tower, Pikachu and Raichu are pouring power into the Tower as Volkner pilots it back to its original location. He tells Ash to have faith in him, he built the tower after all (yeah well mechanics and engineers don't drive race cars!) and manages to turn and lift it, dropping it down into place - returning the town its source of power for the luxury and decadence of their automated seaside town.
But damage has been gone, and Volkner is going to need time to get it all repaired. Sadly, this means that Ash's 8th Battle has been delayed yet again, goddammit, but Volkner promises to let him know when he will be ready to take him on again, and so the twerps head off to prepare for the Grand Festival and await the call from Volkner, leaving him and Flint behind with a whole lot of work to do.....
Not to mention all that same sex kissing they need to get caught up on!
| BEST QUOTES |
 "You were listening! You can hear AND think!" "Brock please, do it for me, can't you see I need you!" |
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