625: Fighting Ire With Fire!
Dodgy Synopsis
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631: Baku Shinka! Gokazaru!
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Today finds the twerps arriving to find a bunch of gaping, slackjawed onlookers and some cross-eyed bint gathered around watching a Pokémon Battle. Drawing in closer to see the match, they discover it's some kid and his ugly ass Mothim against an Empoleon. But not just any Empoleon.... BARRY'S EMPOLEON!
Showing some smooth moves, it batters the crap out of the moth and knocks it out, and Barry has the victory! However, Barry isn't his normal over-enthused, 50 cups of coffee a day self. Still exuberant over his victory, he seems oddly restrained as he thanks the crowd and tells them to give a hand to his opponent. Spotting the twerps, he approaches happily instead of crashing through the walls and astonishing wildlife. What's going on? Has Barry discovered Ritalin? Did he get laid? Has he found a way to burn out his insane rages? Is he....
Settling down under a tree with the twerps, Barry learns that Dawn won her fifth ribbon and congratulates her. He asks Ash how things are going with Draco Meteor and discovers he hasn't won his 8th Badge yet, and that Ash is still on his way to Sunyshore. Suddenly the old Barry is back as he bursts out laughing, cackling wildly and so long that Empoleon figures what the hell and joins in.
You haven't been laughed at till an insane ADD-hopped up kid and his giant Gentleman Penguin have laughed at you, Gentle Dodgers.
What's so funny? Well Barry shows them as he pulls out his Badge Case and reveals that not only has he beaten the Sunyshore Gym Leader... he's now got 8 Badges!
Oh snap, Ash is coming last!
Barry seems surprised to learn that Paul ALSO has 8 Badges already, then excited at the thought of the subject of his strange obsessions attending the Sinnoh League as well. He tells Ash that he HAS to get to Sunyshore and get that 8th Gym Badge so he can join them at the Festival - the Beacon Badge is waiting for him!
Meanwhile out in some random shed/rundown forest cottage - Team Rocket have somehow gotten access/lodgings there and James is delivering a pep talk while a less than inspired Jesse and James sit at the dining table listening to him (Meowth is sitting on a cushion so he can see over the table!). James seems to be under the impression that they've put in a solid "10" in terms of hardwork and received zero reward for it. He asks for a moment of silence for their failures, and then tells them he has come to a conclusion of what is wrong.
"I bet it's all dose pesky blast-offs!" suggests Meowth!
Not at all, James shuts them up by insisting he has the floor, and then uses visual aids to demonstrate what the problem is - cutesy ones too!
Their plans to date, he believes, have boiled down to little more than run in, grab Pikachu and then cheese it out of there (actually it's the cheese it part that normally screws them up, as they don't cheese it or only cheese it so far and then stop). His recommendation.... catch the twerps instead!
Wait... what?
It's actually a surprisingly good idea - if they catch the twerps first and leave them caged up.... THEN they grab the Pokémon and can take off without fear of being chased after!
In town, Barry is walking along with the twerps enthusiastically (but still oddly restrained) suggesting they stop in at the Pokémon Centre for a bite to eat. Once inside Brock immediately lunges for Nurse Joy but is sexually molested by Croagunk before he can get a chance to sexually molest Joy. And speaking of sexual molestation.... Barry FINALLY meets Paul! OH GOD OH GOD!
A less than enthusiastic Paul attempts to leave as soon as he sees Ash and the others, but Barry keeps getting in his face as he tries his hardest to restrain his puppy dog eagerness and insists on a battle with the irritable Paul, who grumbles that his Pokémon are in training for the Sinnoh League and don't need to be "confused" by a battle with Barry. He grunts that he'd be better off having a match with Ash, surprising the twerps. Barry laughs it off, saying that he wants to match someone for strength, and Ash ONLY has seven badges so far (way to embarrass Ash in front of Paul!). Paul turns and stares at Ash, who stumbles a lame attempt at conversation by noting clumsily that he saw Paul on television, and Paul just GLARES at him without saying a word as Ash stares with a stupid look on his face and his mouth half hanging open. Barry slides in besides Dawn to note there's an odd amount of "stress" between the two, and she offers that they've been through a lot.
Yeah, Paul and his Brother got beat up by a dude who lives in a flying pyramid and Paul found out that Ash beat the crap out of the dude for shits and giggles between Leagues once.
Ash insists he'll catch up with Paul in no time, as soon as he gets the Beacon Badge from Sunyshore Gym. Paul finally reacts at that name, shouting angrily that Sunyshore Gym isn't legit, freaking out Barry who insists it is a great Gym. Paul snaps it is a joke and walks right out of the Centre, leaving a confused Dawn to ask Brock whether it's a good Gym or not, to which he honestly replies he can't say till he's actually seen it for himself.
Barry freaks out and loses any sense of restraint for the moment as he snaps that he's going to fine Paul for speaking badly of Sunyshore Gym. Ash tells Barry that if he ever gets to battle Paul he'll have to be careful, and reveals to the shocked Barry that he and Paul had a "Full Battle" in the past which Ash lost. He explains to Barry that he learnt a lot about himself (yeah, that he beat Brandon and Paul couldn't!) and that Paul has skills he doesn't (being a big jerk faced meany-head!) but he intends to win the next battle they have. That's enough for Barry, of course, because now he insists that he and Ash do have a Battle after all, and Ash is happy to accept because he's an idiot and the only thing he knows how to do is fight!
Before they can do a Pokémon Contest Announcement is made over the Centre's television. They all turn to listen, and discover that the Lakeside Resort of Lake Valor (where the Wallace Cup was held) will be the location of the Grand Festival. Not only that, but there are now only 7 Contest Ribbons left up for grabs, meaning that anyone who hasn't yet won their full 5 for entry into the Grand Festival now only has seven chances! This is very important information, not so much for the twerps as it is the trio of "punks" sitting just across from them.
Jesse just needs two more ribbons, and as she considers what she needs to do - Brock is checking out his map to figure out the best route to take. They'll go to the Sunyshore Gym first for Ash's 8th Gym Battle, then head to Lake Valor for the Grand Festival. Barry is "super psyched" though this just may be because it's sunny outside and he's addled in the head, but he claims it's time to stop dilly-dallying and get to that battle! They head outside and a frustrated Jesse complains she doesn't have time to put James' overcomplicated plan into motion - she has ribbons to win - and leaps out of her chair and rushes to chase the twerps, apparently planning to just GRAB PIKACHU OFF OF ASH'S SHOULDER AND CHEESE IT! Meowth and James tackle her, trying to reason with her to prevent her spending those remaining Contests in prison.
Outside, Ash and Barry decide on a 3 on 3 Battle. Dawn tries to justify her terrible Coin-Flip App and gives Barry the advantage, and they call out their Pokémon together as they excitedly prepare to battle - two dim kids out and about in the world with no parents getting to just smack each other’s pets around for fun and frolics! God Bless America!
It's Empoleon vs Monferno, causing Barry to excitedly sing to himself,"I haaaave the advaaaaantaaaaaage!" while Ash chuckles that there is more to a battle than Type Advantage. Monferno dodges a Hydro Pump and jumps in with a Mach Punch, scoring a direct shot and sending Empoleon reeling.
Paul is walking along when the spots the battle - or more particularly Monferno, his old Pokémon. Barry sends Empoleon in with Drill Peck and is infuriating when Monferno dodges with Dig, then bursts out of the ground and Uppercuts Empoleon. It rushes in again for another punch but takes a Hydro Cannon full bore point blank in the face, sending Monferno flying through the air and crashing into the trees. Barry is startled, worried that he might have gone too far, while Ash tries to find the crashed Monferno and Paul watches on impassively. Suddenly, like something out of The Prisoner, a giant bubble drops and closes around Ash, catching him up inside a plastic ball. Shocked, Pikachu tries to return the favour and shock the ball Ash is in, but it is resistant. As the other twerps approach, more balls fall out of the sky and catch the twerps up in them, Piplup trying frantically to peck Dawn clear and becoming teary eyed when it can't.
This is terrible! There is literally nothing worse than a sentient being finding themselves caught up and containing inside of a ball thrown by another sentient being! The twerps would never do such a thing to multiple sentient animals and carry them around on their belts!
Who is responsible for these oversized Pokeballs? Well who else but Team Rocket, of course, highly amused by Barry's threats of fining.
"Fining us? Surely you jest?""No can do, if you hadn't guessed!"
"On the wind!"
"Past the stars!"
"We're da best!"
Pikachu, Piplup and Empoleon try to attack the balloon, but as it deflates, Team Rocket reveal this was all part of their plan as the basket becomes a Bot... and the bot a prison!
"Save it saps!" laughs Meowth, and they continue the motto as they catch up the three Pokémon and drop them into a cage beneath the basket.
"Bringing chaos at a breakneck pace!"
"Dashing hope, putting fear in its place."
"A rose by any other name is just as sweet."
"A 2 point landing, now isn't that neat!"
"Jesse."
"And James."
"Meowth, dat's a name!"
"Putting the do-gooders in their place!"
"We're Team Rocket!"
"And we're in your face!" they all finish together.
Brock has a plan though, calling out Happiny inside his Huma-Ball and telling it to break the ball open. Unfortunately, all this does is cause the ball to roll around like a hamster while Team Rocket laugh and reveal this was their new plan - to capture the twerps to prevent them from stopping them escaping with their now captured Pokémon.
Suddenly a massive spout of flame bursts out of the forest in the distance, surprising everyone... including Paul who has been standing and watching this entire thing without offering even the tiniest bit of help! Not even sending a text to Officer Jenny to say,"Yo, some scrubs getting owned up in this piece!"
The spout becomes a flaming wheel, the wheel zips around the prison-bot and smashes into Ash's ball (not like that, pervs), shattering it as the flames finally part to reveal... one pissed off Monferno!
It's screaming in rage, it's "Blaze" activated following the Hydro Cannon that sent it smashing into the forest. It beats its chest in fury as Team Rocket delightedly decide they have to capture it, and Ash runs to try and calm it and gets burned and slammed away for his troubles. Team Rocket make the same mistake next when they grab it up with one mechanical hand. It breaks free and forms a flame wheel, zipping towards them to attack, putting Pikachu and the others in danger as well. Ash tries to get in the way and is knocked aside, and Team Rocket are quickly sent blasting off again out of their bot, complaining that the new strategy had the same result of seeing them soaring through the air.
Well... yes, except you didn't cheese it when you had the chance!
The shattered bot is beginning to fall apart around the Pokémon now though, and as they try and break free from the cage Ash declares loudly that HE will save them... and promptly reaches for a Pokeball to send someone else in to do the job for him. Before he can though, Electabuzz is called out by Paul of all people, who instructs it to use Protect to hold the falling bot balanced precariously against it... while Barry tries to figure out when Paul arrived.
Electabuzz is sweating from the weight of the bot though, and Monferno keeps attacking it, causing more and more weight to press down against Protect. Ash rushes into the way again, this time catching Monferno in the midst of a Flame Wheel and holding it tight, restraining it as he tries to talk it down from Blaze.... and even Paul is shocked!
Ash holds it in place and tries to remind it of their promise to each other to get stronger together. It lets a massive orb of fire surround them as it tries to "blaze" past Ash holding it in place, Ash continuing to hold on and try to talk it down. Paul has become so glued to the scene that he has forgotten about Electabuzz, and as Protect cracks he realises his Pokémon is about to be crushed under the weight of the falling Bot. Monferno breaks free from Ash and forming a spinning circle of fiery death, but instead of attacking the Bot or Electabuzz it holds itself in place as it brakes at the last second, holding the Bot up through sheer fiery force of will.... and evolves!
Paul actually lets out a grunt of what seems to be annoyance to see the Chimchar he dumped so long ago now evolved into a powerful Infernape, which tosses the Bot high into the air and Mach Punches the cage to pieces before forming a fiery tornado to catch up Empoleon, Pikachu and Piplup and land them safely.
Paul approaches and grunts to Ash that Blaze was just what Monferno needed to evolve into Infernape, it has turned Blaze into a powerful new weapon. They break the others out of their balls, and as Dawn checks out Infernape with her Pokedex, Ash thanks Paul for his help (eventually!) and tells him he wants to battle him again soon - him and Infernape.
Paul turns and looks back at him with that weird blank look he always has when he's not being a contemptuous bastard and then informs Ash that his brother wants to see the two of them have a Full Battle again. He tells him that they'll see Reggie at the Sinnoh League, and THAT is where they'll have their next battle... and with that he turns and walks away.
Was that... was that a tacit compliment? Saying he fully expects Ash to qualify for the League? That's... that's actual progress!
And so Paul walks away - a strange, bitter and twisted little man with an obsession for strength.... and two goddamn pestering idiots who bizarrely want to be his friend and just won't leave him alone!
| BEST QUOTES |
 "Do da math!" "No need, you just did!" |
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