624: Daburu Batoru! VS Purasuru, Mainan!
Dodgy Synopsis
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630: Daburu Batoru! VS Purasuru, Mainan!
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Last episode saw Dawn arrive in Daybreak Town and immediately go into the Contest for her 5th Ribbon. Also there was psychotic rival Ursula, using a Plusle and Minun which caused Dawn some consternation. The twerps (and Ursula!) learned from Dawn the origin of her "Dee Dee" nickname, due to an encounter with Plusle and Minun years earlier that saw her called "Diamond Dandruff" and now Ursula is looking to take advantage to beat Dawn in the Second Round of the Daybreak Town Pokémon Contest. Will Dawn's humiliation be repeated? Will she fail to win a 5th Ribbon again? Will she once again have "Diamond Dandruff"? Come on, Gentle Dodgers, we're....
The second round sees Ursula up against... Jesselina! Oh no! Don't let Jesse go out so early!
Jesse starts out very well with Seviper and Yanmega comboing a spiralling Haze/Sonic Boom that whirls towards Plusle and Minun. Ursula is as confident as ever though, having the two soulless, cynical merchandising types use Spark to create some gay little gall of energy that makes them sparkle as they leap up into the Haze Sonic Boom and turn it into a dazzling display.
Surprisingly, Jesse doesn't lose her rag over this set back and has Yanmega lift Seviper up into the air in preparation for her next move. Ursula takes the opportunity to have Plusle and Minun use "Helping Hand" on each other, putting on a phoney cutesy dancing display while Lillian insists that you HAVE to be impressed by that, buy the products, children, CONSUME!
In the stands, Pikachu looks less than impressed!
Seviper and Yanmega use a Poison Tail/Silver Wind combo that, again, looks great, while Plusle and Minun..... just use... Spark. Again. Great. Just.... super.
Of course it looks different thanks to the Helping Hand move, and powers the two little Pokémon up to zip into the air and take the Poison Tail/Silver Wind combo full on and create a fireworks display for the crowd. Jesse's facade is starting to crack and she has Yanmega drop to the ground, but it takes a direct shot from an attacking Plusle and Minun as the time runs out and both Yanmega and Seviper crash to the ground. Jesse's Pokémon weren't knocked out, but she's lost far more points than Ursula and she's knocked out of the Second Round!
Up in the stands, James and Meowth are miserable (and Wobbuffet is so sad!) while the twerps are uneasy - how can Dawn shut down Plusle and Minun's Combinations, especially when they're endorsed by Nintendo Marketing Concern!?!
A couple of still shots of losers without names that nobody cares about flash by, and then it's Dawn with Mamoswine and Cyndaquil up against Houndoom and Mightyena. She tries out her Flame Ice Combo again, having Cyndaquil leap into the air with Flame Spin and get surrounded by Mamoswine's Ice Shard. Once again however the ice shatters too soon around the flames, but the Fire Spin still strikes and takes points heavily of Dawn's nameless opponent (Duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, I wonder if he'll make it to the final!?!). Lillian is impressed but Dawn frustrated, the move still isn't working as she wants it to. Time runs out and despite Lillian's efforts to play up the suspense, Dawn is CLEARLY the winner.
Backstage she tries again to have Cyndaquil and Mamoswine use Flame Ice, but it keeps breaking up too early. Ash tells her he thinks it looks fine as is but she complains that this isn't how it is SUPPOSED to look, and Brock suggests that she just leave it for now and work with a more reliable combo. She doesn't seem entirely too pleased with that idea.... but Ursula looks VERY pleased as she eavesdrops on her opponent once again. But hey, if Dawn didn't want to be spied on maybe she shouldn't have been practising with the fucking door open!
Dawn and Ursula win their next matches (what a shock!) and make it through to the Final (what a huge SHOCK!) and soon we see Dawn and Ursula sitting in the dressing room a few seats apart getting ready. Piplup sits on the counter roughly halfway between them taking in the incredibly uncomfortable silence until being startled by Ursula's sudden "BOOORING!" as she complains that going up against Dawn makes the result far too predictable. Piplup's startled penguin face darts back and forth like a spectator at a tennis match as the two girls snipe at each other (unseen by us), Ursula needling Dawn with her "Dee Dee" nickname again before leaving the room.
Dawn tells herself to calm down, there's "no need to worry" and before you know it the Final is on and Piplup's in drag! Wearing a little cheerleader outfit while Pikachu gets to wear boss-ass robes, they cheer along with Brock and Ash for Dawn. Also in the stands, Team Rocket (Jesse still in her Jesselina costume, James still openly wearing the outfit of his illegal crime gang!) are watching and presumably pulling for the lesser of two evils - the little girl who didn't fuck up their plans most recently!
It's Mamoswine and Cyndaquil against Plusle and Minun, the latter... rubbing their asses together...... yep. Joanna is watching at home and is bemused to see what Pokémon her daughter is facing, while at Nintendo Marketing Concern sweating executives are whipped by a furious Mini-Boss Exec demanding to know why they haven't recaptured the fervour of the Pikachu Marketing Blitz of the late 90s.
Dawn starts with Ice Shard and Cyndaquil uses Flamethrower to help lift the shard and make it shine, and then.... MAMOSWINE GOES AIRBORNE!?!
It swallows the Ice Shard and the fur on its back becomes Ice Spikes, and Cyndaquil leaps onto its back as it surrounds Mamoswine with Swift and uses Flamethrower again as Mamoswine charge with Take Down. Unfortunately Plusle and Minun dodge by.... jumping up in the air while holding hands and this... causes Dawn to lose points... because they.... did a sparkly jump.....?
What comes next is more impressive though, as the two Pokémon use Encore and Mamoswine and Cyndaquil seem to freeze up, covered in an odd static-y sparkle. A smirking Ursula have their Pokémon do their gay little dance and Dawn calls for a Hidden Power/Flame Wheel combo... but instead gets Take Down/Swift again. Encore forces the Pokémon to repeat their last moves (you'd think Dawn should know that!).
Plusle and Minun use Helping Hand and Charge Beam to hit Mamoswine and Cyndaquil who are powerless to dodge. Both Pokémon crash to the ground as Lillian insists that Plusle and Minun are making an endearing pose.
In the stands, Brock notes how scary a move like Encore is in a Contest, because there is a 5 minute time limit on the battle. Jesse admits to James and Meowth that she is officially impressed by Ursula, while the girl herself is just a smirking bulldozer as she has Plusle and Minun use their terrible fucking Spark Move again, once more powered up by Helping Hand one would presume, since normally "Spark" doesn't entail flying mice comets crashing out of their orbit of mammoths.
Dawn tells them to dodge the attacks but they're powerless to do anything other than Take Down and Swift while Ursula sadistically draws out the torture by slowly taking down point after point from Dawn. The constant Spark Attacks build up a static discharge in the air and the explosion catches Dawn as well, and her, Cyndaquil and Mamoswine discover they're suffering from... Diamond Dandruff! Team Rocket struggle to stifle their laughter at the sight (it looks like they're trying not to throw up!) while Ursula continues to gleefully mock Dawn who completely freezes up at her childhood humiliation being returned in front of all these people.
And all the ones watching at home, too Dawn! Don't forget them! All the... all the people watching at home on television! Dawn! DAWN! ALL THE PEOPLE WATCHING ON TELEVISION!
As she moans in humiliation though (not like that, you perverts), she hears the sparkling Mamoswine and Cyndaquil calling to her in search of some kind of leadership and sudden inspiration strikes. Patting down her sparkling hair, she realises that her Pokémon can still move at least and so orders them to use Take Down and Swift.... on each other!
Everyone (including Ursula) are shocked and confused, have her Pokémon attack each other!?! Dawn smirks "no need to worry" and her baby mouse and fatass Mammoth follow her instructions as Swift pours into Mamoswine which then uses Take Down on Cyndaquil. The Judges look less than impressed, the crowd is confused, and the smoke clears to reveal the Pokémon are.... free from Encore!
Oh snap!
Dawn explains her strategy - she pulled it out of her ass! It seems that her Pokémon just needed a fighting chance that came from the heart so she.... had them beat the fuck out of each other...... then something something... ergo she knew it would break Encore! Ursula is mockingly impressed, perhaps due to up in the stands Brock noticing that there is only 30 seconds left and Dawn is WAAAAAY behind on points.
Ursula orders Charge Beam which blasts into the stage as Mamoswine and Cyndaquil leap out of the way. Dawn confidently tells her Pokémon they need Flame Ice to win and there is "no need to worry" because she knows they can do it. Once again Flame Wheel is surrounded by Ice Shard and rockets towards Ursula, holding together as the move is used properly for the first time. Everyone is enthralled by the rocketing perfectly formed ice surrounding a flaming baby mouse as it hurtles towards Plusle and Minun. Flames burst out from the front at just the right point and smashes the little Pokémon into the air, and a startled Ursula goes back to their crappy ass Spark move again... and Cyndaquil says "fuck you very much" and blasts the two little bastards apart with Smoke Screen!
They crash to the stage and bounce across it in different directions, Mamoswine hitting one with Hidden Power while Cyndaquil drills into the skull of another with Swift (oh it's a beautiful thing, Gentle Dodgers) and the two are knocked together again and Ursula orders... Spark.
Jesus Christ.
They sparkle up and....
....time runs out!
Dawn wins! Ursula loses! Plusle and Minun's mad reign of power is over!
Dawn doesn't quite seem to take it in at first and then suddenly squeaks in delight and rushes up to hug her two Pokémon, telling them she doesn't even care if anyone calls her Dee Dee anymore because they did it for her, she's won her fifth and final ribbon.... she qualifies for the Grand Festival!
Ursula hugs her pathetic merchandising monstrosities and tells them they're the best, casting a grumpy look at the celebrating Dawn and muttering that she once again needed the time limit to win the match for her.
Yep, nothing quite as bad as somebody who gets a legitimate win completely within the rules of the Contest they're taking part in!
Back in the dressing room Piplup watches Dawn do her hair (oh Piplup) and Ursula enters to tells her that she LET her win that fifth ribbon that qualified her for the Grand Festival instead of Ursula herself. But she insists that she will beat Dawn at the Grand Festival... and Jesselina enters and tells her to dream on, because SHE is going to win the Grand Festival. The two divas begin arguing with each other while Dawn grins, the fuck does she care, she's caught up to Zoey and will be going to the Grand Festival come hell or high water!
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