ENGLISH NAME	JAPANESE NAME	POKEMOPOLIS NAME	DODGINESS RATING	ANIMATION	STORY	TEAM ROCKET	MORAL LEARNT
787: The Journalist from Another Region!	793: Panji Tojo! Erikiteru to Gogoto!	Ash Ruins Another Dream			The twerps take part in a sumo contest and get a new companion	So used to cheating, they do it for no reason!	Don't be a jerk, share!

The twerps have finally left Capacia Island and arrived at Harvest Island, noted for its tasty berries. By an absolutely incredible stroke of luck, they've arrived on the day of the Grand Harvest Festival, an event so hugely popular that apparently literally everyone on the island has already cleared out to whether it is happening, leaving only Porter to inform the deeply ignorant kids about the places they're visiting. Don't they read the brochures? Or newspapers? Maybe there are no newspapers in this island chain? Maybe that is why there is a visit this episode from...



The twerps walk through the countryside, which is utterly deserted, meaning either this whole Grand Harvest Festival talk is nonsense or LITERALLY everybody is packed into wherever the location is, hidden by trees or something. Iris is super-excited, the annual festival was what she looked forward to the most each year in her little podunk backwater Village of Dragons. She asks Cilan how far they are and he checks his map, saying they're getting closer. Just then, they hear a noise and turn to see a frantic little yellow and black Pokémon scuttling towards them up the path. It spots them, freaks out, turns around and rushes back down the path before stopping and standing on its hind-legs, looking about in a panic. None of them have seen the like of it before, and when Ash checks it with his Pokédex he gets a surprising message - no data!

Cilan figures it must not be a native to either the Kanto OR Unova regions, so what is it and where did it come from? Ash doesn't really give a fuck, it's something new so he wants to capture it! In typical Ash fashion he runs right up to it and blurts out a hello, asking if it wants to have a battle!?! It reacts in horror so Ash takes that as a yes (it's gonna be hell when he starts dating) and tells Pikachu to Thunderbolt the frantic little thing. A voice suddenly calls out a warning to him not to do that, distracting Pikachu long enough to allow the "no data" Pokémon to blast the fuck out of him with a panicked move of its own. A woman comes running up the hill, apologising for her Pokémon’s completely justified actions. The Pokémon cradles its head into her considerable bosom and stares miserably back at the strangers that just attacked it. It seems this is a move it does when it feels cornered, and yes that means what Iris thinks it means - she is the Pokémon’s Trainer.

The Pokémon is a Helioptile, which comes from the Kalos Region, explaining why none of them have ever seen it. The woman is joined by another Pokémon, a bizarre goat/cow looking thing called a Gogoat. Ash tries to check it out with his Pokédex and again gets "No Data" in response, meaning it too comes from the Kalos Region. She introduces herself as Alexa, and after they introduce themselves back she takes notice of Ash's Pikachu, immediately picking up that there is something special about it (Giovanni is apparently the only person who DIDN'T immediately see the uniqueness of Pikachu! He must wake up some mornings feeling somehow COMPLETELY defeated). As Helioptile hides behind her back on the little fanny-pack she wears on her ass, she slips on a bizarre headband camera. She is a world traveller, a journalist who goes from region to region, and now she wants to film Pikachu!

Soon they are walking along together down the still deserted road, entering a forest and discussing Alexa's life. Of course she's nothing so mundane as a REAL journalist, in this Pokémon-obsessed world that just won't do. She's a POKEMON Journalist, taking photographs and video of Pokémon all around the world and writing the accompanying articles for a variety of publications. She enthusiastically starts going through a stuffed bag draped over Gogoat's side, and is embarrassed when it grunts to remind her what she is looking for is on the bag on the OTHER side. She admits that she's very disorganised, relying on a fucking pack-animal to keep her in line, but pulls out a magazine and shows them samples of her work. Photographs of Pokémon in their natural environment, articles that put the pictures in context etc. Cilan is impressed, saying that her love for Pokémon shines through in her work, and she explains why she is here now. She's come to cover the Sumo Competition at the Grand Harvest Festi-

Competition?

COMPETITION!?

COMPETITION!?!!?

Ash was interested in attending the Festival before, but now that he's learned there is a competition involved he's like a junkie about to get his fix. Alexa explains the origins of the Harvest Festival to them. It's not just a celebration of the berry harvest, but an ancient legend - once long ago there was an abundance of berries for people and Pokémon alike. But differing Pokémon got greedy and territorial and began fighting over who got to have the most berries, and the best berries too. In the territorial fighting, the forest was damaged and became barren, till only one berry (it's a fucking APPLE!) was left on one tree. The two most powerful Pokémon wrestled for it (well the Beartic was hungry, but maybe the Ursaring was just trying to get a little hard loving in) but couldn't defeat the other, and became exhausted while the weaker Pokémon and local island people looked on. Finally, one small boy with aspirations of being white boy-Jesus stepped forward and split the berry (APPLE!) in two. He gave both Pokémon half each and reminded them there was no reason they couldn't share. Slowly the forest returned to its former glory, and the berries became more abundant and even tastier than before.

One assumes in the meantime they kept alive by gradually killing and eating the weakest Pokémon?

They arrive at last at the Festival Celebrations and.... there's like 50-60 people there, max. How many people live on this fucking island? In any case, the sumo "ring" is set up in the center of a square of food stalls, and the announcement is going out for anybody who wants to register to do so - top prize is a Fire Band and a huge amount of fruit. Ash, who has casually mentioned taking part in a sumo contest in the past, is encouraged by Alexa to take part. Iris and Cilan decide to join in too, Iris for the competition and Cilan for the fun of it. As various trainers line up with their Pokémon to register, Ash considers which of his Pokémon to use.... and Oshawott leaps out to volunteer! Ash is surprised but seems to be considering it when a sudden rumbling gets their attention and knocks Oshawott on his ass. A gigantic Golurk comes stomping slowly up to join the queue, and Oshawott quickly decides he has changed his mind, he didn't want to be in this dumb ol' sumo contest anyway!

Ash finally comes up with the best choice of his current Pokémon - Pignite. If he'd known about the contest BEFORE leaving the harbour (thanks Porter!) he could have picked up Snorlax, but Pignite is his best option now. Oshawott adds some moral support, while Iris brings out Dragonite and Cilan decides to go with Pansage over Crustle, saying that while he might be at a size disadvantage, nobody battles as tough as him.

Meanwhile, a disguised Team Rocket are watching from amongst the crowd, deciding that Jesse will enter the contest. Meowth suggests they use Amoonguss or Frillish, and becomes understandably concerned when they leer down at him and tell him they have a better idea.

The twerps and Alexa head down the rows of food stalls and decide to try some berries. Ash rushes forward to grab a berry pie only to be slammed aside by a stocky (fat) kid called Rodney, who grabs the pie himself. Ash is furious, that was the pie he wanted, and they argue over it until Rodney runs away with the pie and the twerps convince Ash that there are plenty of other identical pies so why get upset over that one? Eventually he allows himself to be calmed down and settles down to gobble that pie (Misty would be proud), instantly cheering up.

Alexa is ready to do some "work" filming till she notices that her battery on her headband camera is almost dead. Freaking out, she looks through Gogoat's saddle-bags for her recharger, the long-suffering pack-animal having to remind her again it is on the other side. The twerps note her disorganisation as she settles down the charger on the ground, Helioptile blasting it with electricity and fully charging her camera. She scoops up Helioptile into her breasts for a hug which cheers it up, but when Ash reaches out (for the Pokémon, not the breasts!), it freaks out and hides behind her back.

The Sumo Contest starts, and up first is Rodney who turns out to be the trainer of the massive Golurk. He's going up against "Jessegelinda" and her "Golem", which is actually Meowth inside a hilariously fake Golem outfit. The rules are straightforward, no moves are allowed to be used, any Pokémon who leaves the ring is out, and if any part of the body OTHER than feet hits the ground, the Pokémon is out. Cilan is weirded out by the odd-looking Golem, but Alexa is delighted, she likes the look of unique Pokémon. Inside, Meowth pulls on a number of levers to keep the Golem's limbs moving, sweating up a storm and shouting out,"GOLEM GOLEM GOLEM" as he prepares to fight. But when he sees the size of Golurk he freaks out about the size advantage, while Ash finally notices that Rodney is the trainer and hilariously declares,"He's Golurk's trainer and he likes pie!"

The fight finishes before it can really begin, as Golurk slams a palm into the flimsy construction of Golem and sends it crashing back into Jesse and James. They're all sent flying into the air, blasting off again as Meowth flips about still wearing his Golem feet and complaining about the stupidity of the idea. With that they're gone, not at all surprising - why on earth didn't they use Amoonguss? Rodney is declared the winner, nobody apparently giving a shit that the Pokémon and its trainers appear to have been killed in the process.

A series of contests between utterly irrelevant people with no names takes place, before Iris and Dragonite take on Morgan and his Beartic. The two Pokémon slam and struggle against each other before Dragonite gets Beartic up in a Fireman's Carry and slams it into the ground, giving it the.... defeat!?! Iris and the twerps are shocked, what happened? To their horror, a video replay shows that Dragonite braced himself in place with his tail as he slammed Beartic down, which is technically against the rules. So the utterly dominated Beartic currently lying on its back moaning in agony is the winner! Hoorah for technicalities, the sweetest victory there is!

Iris is depressed by the loss but Dragonite just looks pissed, while Ash is quick to point out that it did dominate and couldn't be beaten for power. Next up is Cilan and Pansage against Hariyama and its nameless, presumably soulless trainer. Pansage bounces about to avoid getting caught but can't do much else, and when Hariyama finally scores a shot, Pansage is launched out of the ring directly into Cilan's arms - he SHOULD have used Crustle after all!

Ash and Pignite go through a series of matches, winning two with dominating performances against a Watchog and a Rhyperior and the third by default when the Slaking decides to take a nap! Ash makes it to the final, of course, and he's up against..... some nobody and their Heracross! Haha, nah, it's Rodney and his Golurk of course, nobody else could make it to the finals, they don't have names! Rodney is arrogant and confident, he stopped Ash from getting in his way once before, he'll do it again. Ash is furious, but Cilan reminds him that this is the perfect place to settle things - in the sumo ring, you MUST follow the rules.

The battle begins with Golurk on the offensive, taking swings as Pignite dodges aside as best he can. Iris and Cilan are concerned, Golurk is so huge that even one hit will knock Pignite clear of the ring just like happened to Pansage. But as Golurk swings, Ash is planning, telling Pignite to get around behind Golurk. It does so as Golurk takes a swipe, then leaps up and smashes into its back. Golurk is caught completely by surprise, almost dropping to a knee which would have DQed it. Rodney is shocked... but also impressed. He can't believe that Pignite is putting up such a good effort and actually pays the compliment, telling Ash that nobody has ever put up a fight like this before. Ash, in turn, compliments Golurk, amazed by its size and strength. The two boys appear to have found a mutual respect, and when both declare their Pokémon is going to win this time, it is in the spirit of competition and respect, not arrogance or fury.

Pignite grabs at one of Golurk's legs and tries to tip its balance, but it kicks Pignite away easily enough. Pignite skids along the ground but manages to stay in the ring, and when Golurk charges forward to score a final blow on him, he grabs Golurk's wrist and uses its own massive momentum against it to flip it over and out of the ring - Pignite wins!

Ash - having destroyed the hopes and dreams of somebody who has apparently devoted their life to this contest - is enthralled. He and Pignite are presented with their rewards, Ash putting the Focus Band on Pignite's head in celebration. But he also notices the despondent Rodney and his Golurk on the sidelines, and decides to pay homage to Lil' White Jesus' example by offering him a berry (apple!) and reminding him of the origins of the Sumo Contest. Rodney shows maturity by thanking Ash and splitting the berry (apple!) to share with him, and actually apologises for his earlier behaviour. Ash shows some maturity by apologising equally for his behaviour, and then tells everybody else to get in on the big berry prize too. Soon everybody - contestants, crowd, officials etc - are sharing in the berries, gobbling food up happily while Alexa films everything. Ash tosses her a berry (apple!) too, not content to let her merely observe the fun, wanting her to take part.

As the sun sets, the twerps and Alexa are preparing for the usual parting of the ways when their conversation reveals they're on the same path. The twerps are taking a cruise ship to Kanto, so is she! So instead of the normal, this episode ends with the twerps being joined by Alexa and her highly desirable pair of..... unseen-in-this-region Pokémon!

BEST QUOTES

"He's Golurk's trainer and he likes pie!"

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