ENGLISH NAME	JAPANESE NAME	POKEMOPOLIS NAME	DODGINESS RATING	ANIMATION	STORY	TEAM ROCKET	MORAL LEARNT
785: Searching For A Wish!	791: Jirachi ni Negai o! Nanokakan no Kiseki!	Jirachi Wishes Those Fucking Kids Would Shut Up			The twerps help an overeager little girl make a wish	They can only be competent for so long, folks!	It's difficult to break up when you're stuck on the same path

Today finds the twerps still on Capacia Island, where the single path through the island has brought them to a bizarre location for a tourist path - a barren, vegetation-free area at the base of a mountain, with a huge crater in the way. Being idiots, the twerps figure this hell-blasted landscape is the best place to settle down for the night. That night they sleep in sleeping bags near the edge of the crate, when a glow and a sound wakes Cilan, Pikachu and Axew. A crystal raises into the air glowing brightly... and then takes on the form of... Jirachi!?!



Jirachi lands on the ground happily enough, but freaks out when it spots Pikachu and Axew nearby and tries to run. Deciding that their sudden unannounced arrival wasn't disturbing enough for the newly woken Jirachi, they prevent it from escaping and undertake a series of bizarre, unsolicited and incomprehensible actions. Pikachu sparks up his tail as Axew points helpfully towards it, then they start making horrible exaggerated facial expressions at the terrified and confused little Pokémon.

Iris hears the noise and wakes up, joining Cilan who is peeking on the bizarre rituals from a distance. The two of them watch Jirachi nervously poking Pikachu's tail (there's something oddly sexual about this whole thing) and seemingly getting into it, and are soon joined by Ash. He gapes at the sight of Jirachi, which he has seen before of course, but still confirms with his Pokédex. Of course his completely unsubtle loudness freaks out Cilan and Iris who were trying not to alarm Jirachi - which is only awake for 7 days out of a 1000 years! - even more so when he just barrels on down screaming out Jirachi's name in his eagerness to say hello!

Pikachu is pleased to see Ash coming but Jirachi is way too spooked and quickly flies away. Ash is disappointed, especially when Iris points out that he scared it away and Pikachu confirms the accusation. The next day he is still feeling down in the dumps about Jirachi misinterpreting the stranger running hooting loud incomprehensible noises at it, and is rather startled by Pikachu not mollycoddling him and snapping grumpily at him about his foolishness! Iris wonders if befriending Jirachi would have let them be granted a wish, and then they're startled by the sudden arrival of a little girl who begs them to let her know if they really saw Jirachi like she just heard. How she snuck up on them in the open blasted landscape I don't know, but they admit agreeably enough to what they saw, but can't offer more than a vague direction for where Jirachi went.

The little girl is away like a shot, trying to clamber up the rocks and calling out to Jirachi to please come back. She slips and lands on her butt, somehow scuffing the knees of her pants in the process, causing the twerps some alarm.

She takes them to her home, a small farmhouse on a barren looking patch of ground (the whole area is barren, why do they have a farm there?) where her mother patches her up and introduces herself - Lotus - and her daughter - Gemma - to the twerps. But the moment Gemma has been patched up, she's back up and heading for the door again, to her mother's surprise. She insists she has to go back out there and find Jirachi so she can make her wish, and Lotus warns her not for the first time that wishes won't make the mountain the way it used to be.

Even Ash is smart enough to figure out that the shitty condition of the land probably isn't ideal and this is what they want to change, and Lotus agrees. The mountain and surrounding countryside used to be beautiful and green, with a lake where the crater now is. But one day a drought came along and dried up the lake, the farms turned barren and all the locals moved away to greener pastures. In amongst the little montage of her story a man is seen dropping to his knees beside what appears to be Lotus - is this her husband? Did he dump the wife and kids and head for the city? Did he blow his brains out with a shotgun? Hang himself in the root cellar? Cover his ass with honey and walk into an Ursaring mating ground?

There is a legend about Jirachi that Gemma has attached all her hopes and dreams to, and having heard that the twerps saw one she is convinced this is her chance to fix things. The trouble is, as Cilan notes, she only has a seven day window before Jirachi returns to sleeping for another 1000 years. So Ash being Ash, he decides to just barrel right in and get involved, insisting that they'll help her find Jirachi. Iris and Cilan agree with Ash's decision to get up the impossible hopes of a little girl, while outside listening in are Team Rocket, who like the sounds of wish-granting for their own needs. Jesse has a pretty damn good plan - they'll follow the twerps, wait for them to get Jirachi... and then pounce and get all the benefits of their hard work!

Down near the lake crater, Gemma shows the twerps the shrine of the lake and explains that there is a shrine of the mountain located - of course - on top of the mountain. Jirachi's wishmaking turns out not to be quite as straightforward as it sounded, they not only have to find and befriend it, but accompany it up in the mountain to the shrine if they want their wish to be granted.

It's almost like this legend is structured to be impossible so nobody can ever actually test it!

But Gemma has an idea where they might be able to find Jirachi, and leads them to a tiny oasis where the grass still grows and water still flows. This is where the local wild Pokémon who have managed not to die horribly of starvation and dehydration hang out. They hide behind a rock and watch as various Pokémon collect "berries" (they're apples) to eat, and soon enough Jirachi does timidly make its way onto the scene. Gemma wants to rush out there straight away but is stopped by Cilan, who doesn't want to scare Jirachi away. So instead they send in Pikachu and Axew to ease the way, as they quickly befriend the surprisingly gracious wild Pokémon and then point out Jirachi on the outer boundary of the oasis. The Patrat seems to be the leader of the local wild Pokémon and it kindly offers a "berry" to Jirachi which is surprised but soon warms up, approaching as Cilan and Iris seek to keep the overly enthusiastic Gemma and Ash from stomping their stupid ways onto the scene.

Jirachi settles down and follows Pikachu's cue to eat the "berry", but Gemma can't handle it anymore and freaks out, Jirachi is too close and she can't let it slip through her fingers! She rushes out and booms over to the startled Jirachi, crying out that it has to come with her and grant her wish. Axew and Pikachu try to settle her the fuck down, goddamit, while the wild Pokémon are just perplexed and Jirachi is understandably unsettled. It drops the apple and backs away and she tries to chase after it, and it blasts a Swift at her and takes off as she shields from the attack. Once the smoke clears, Jirachi is gone, and the twerps - well Iris and Cilan, anyway - have to grit their teeth and tell her it'll be okay and they'll make it work next time.

Shortly after they return to the farmhouse, where they freeload a meal and Cilan tries to diplomatically remind Gemma that she done fucked up bad and made their job a lot harder. Ash keeps up the optimism though, saying that tomorrow they'll make it to the Shrine of the Mountain with Jirachi.

Saying and doing are two different things though, and after a day spent searching every nook and cranny with no sign of Jirachi, they return to the farmhouse and sleep the night away in the one room, before setting off again the next day in search of an easy solution to a complex problem, while Lotus just goes about the actual day to day hard work of planting seeds and trying to cultivate a return to the glory days.

Once again they spend a day examining where they can, reduced to just openly calling for Jirachi but having no luck whatsoever. This continues on and on until they reach day 6, with the twerps bringing up the unwelcome prospect that maybe Jirachi... went somewhere else? Gemma angrily denounces that idea, insisting that Jirachi would never leave the mountains. She should know, after all, her interactions with Jirachi have been so successful and demonstrated such an uncanny understanding of how Jirachi's mind works! But she has to admit things are looking grim... but fights off her doubts and runs off screaming for Jirachi to come out, she needs it!

That night she crashes early, leaving Lotus to discuss with the twerps the grown up approach to dealing with this fucked up situation. She hasn't been helping in the search for Jirachi because she's actually been doing something about the problem, being proactive and planting Revival Seeds, hoping to slowly bring the farmland back to what it once was. She doesn't discount the possibility that maybe Jirachi could "wish" things back to prosperity, but she isn't banking all of her hopes and dreams on it either. She thinks that Gemma understands this as well, which confuses the twerps since Gemma has spent the last six days doing nothing constructive at all - why is she so obsessed with finding Jirachi?

The answer is rather depressing, as Lotus collects a photo of Gemma, herself... and her husband/Gemma's father. This is Carlton, and it seems he didn't blow his brains out but actually set out to discover the reason WHY the mountain spring dried up. He's been searching for ancient records that might explain the concern, and he's been doing it for 2 years now!

Ancient Records my ass, that boy is balls deep in some Nurse Joy is what he is!

So Gemma is hoping to wish things back to green so her father no longer has an excu... a reason to stay away from home. That seems to give Ash the impetus to declare that tomorrow they'll find Jirachi for sure, as apparently he's just been half-assing it up until now or something!

So the next day they head about, calling out for Jirachi, begging it to come out and help Gemma - but there is still no sign of the Pokémon. Ash tells Gemma not to give up, they still have time. That perks her up and they go back to calling out, and Jirachi finally comes out into the open, apparently sick and fucking tired of these assholes who won't fucking shut up! Gemma excitedly calls out when she sees Jirachi, but then forces herself to calm down, reminding herself that this is her last chance and she can't scare it off by trying too hard. So she braces herself, then walks slowly forward and speaks in a calm voice, explaining her situation to Jirachi and what she wants from it - to restore the mountain to its previous state. She bows her head, tears in her eyes, hoping she hasn't blown it... and Jirachi slowly approaches and dangles its weird ass-cape things on either side of her face, which is apparently Jirachi-ese for,"Sure why the fuck not?"

The twerps congratulate her for her good work... at which point, of course, Team Rocket strike and capture Jirachi in a plastic bubble! How could they do that? Well they answer in the form of the motto!

"Prepare for trouble, it's easy as pie!"
And make it double, an eye for an eye!"
"To protect the world from devastation!"
"To unite all people within our nation!"
"To denounce the evils of truth and love!"
"To extend our reach to the stars above!"
"It's Jesse!"
"And it's James!"
"Team Rocket makes its own wish at the speed of light!"
"We've granted it ourselves, so prepare for a big fight!"
"Meowth, daaaat's right!"

Gemma has no idea what the fuck a Team Rocket is, but the twerps quickly bring her up to speed - they're bad guys! Ash and Iris order a Thunderbolt/Dragon Rage combo, but Jesse and James counter with a Shadowball/Hidden Power combo in return that negates the attacks. Stun Spore follows and knocks Pikachu and Axew down, and then - rather than capturing the now helpless Pokémon, Team Rocket laugh and make their escape, Meowth mocking their "NOOO!"s with the terrible pun of,"Save ya nose for yer face!" as he goes!

Gemma leaps high into the air as they go though, grabbing onto one of the rocket thrusters and clinging on for dear life, assuring Jirachi that she's here. Team Rocket are merely amused, Jesse ordering a Shadowball to knock her clear.... but then Jirachi smashes its way out of the bubble holding it! Apparently the move was Psychic, though apparently based on some previous forum conversations it could just as easily be Confusion or Confuse Ray or Super High Knee Kick or Frumplefucker and I'm supposed to know the difference. Jirachi blasts the balloon with Swift and then grabs Gemma with Psychic, lowering her to the ground safely as the Happy Buddha Face Meowth balloon crashes.

But there was no,"BLASTING OFF AGAIN!" to accompany the crash, and Team Rocket are spotted moments later a little dusty and panting but otherwise unhurt, furious at having their balloon burst. They call on their Pokémon to throw down on the twerps and Jirachi, but the latter lifts into the air and explodes a sprinkle of blue light down over the twerps... as well as Pikachu and Axew, reviving them with Healing Wish. Jirachi - exhausted - tumbles through the air towards the ground and is caught by Gemma, while Pikachu and Axew blast the fuck out of Team Rocket who DON'T block the exact same attacks they stopped earlier, and they're sent blasting off again!

But now the sun is setting and while Gemma has her Jirachi, it's passed out and completely spent of energy. There is some bullshit about Gemma only really thinking about how to help it, but you know that what she's really thinking is that she's lost her chance to get her wish granted. Suddenly a new voice speaks up, and to her great delight she discovers her father has returned, apparently having gotten tired of pounding Joy ass up and down the Unova Seacoast - you've had one, you've had them all! He tells her that they need to get Jirachi up to the Mountain Shrine, and after getting control of her immediate glee at seeing him, she nods her head sternly and agrees.

Night falls as they arrive at the shrine, where Carlton explains that he finally found some Ancient Records that explained how Jirachi can become one with the land and the water beneath it. So if it can receive power from the earth and water, maybe its body can be healed? Gemma places Jirachi down on the shrine and asks it to forget her earlier wish, her only concern now is for its well-being - she wishes for it to be completely healed.

A glow shines from Jirachi's body and around the shrine, and before everybody's eyes Jirachi awakens and lifts up, fully restored and energised again. Waves of light shine from the shrine, and to the twerps surprise water appears from the standing stones around the shrine and begin to flow down the mountain, refilling the crater, the revival herbs that Lotus planted growing faster than they had any right to.

Jirachi flies down to the center of the lake, the twerps somehow getting down to the edge of the lake at the same time. Jirachi whispers something to Gemma that she is able to translate, it said thank you. She calls back that she has to thank it, and they watch as it returns to a crystal prism and sinks into the water to rest for another 1000 years... and maybe next time it wakes up its entire 7 days won't be taken up with strident calls from a bunch of kids every hour of the fucking day!

The valley is still desolate, but with the return of the water and the growth of the revival herbs, the start of a return to prosperity has come. Lotus joins them all at the lake, Carlton placing a hand on her back and saying that now they can live as a family again. She seems quite pleased with the idea of him just swanning back into their lives unannounced after she spent the last two years breaking her back to keep things going, and they all gather and look up to the night sky and shooting stars that represent Jirachi - though surely none of them are greedy enough to make any MORE wishes tonight.

BEST QUOTES

"Pikachu, no!" "Axew, no!" "Save ya nose for yer face!"

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