ENGLISH NAME	JAPANESE NAME	POKEMOPOLIS NAME	DODGINESS RATING	ANIMATION	STORY	TEAM ROCKET	MORAL LEARNT
783: Butterfree and Me!	789: Ash to Batafuri! Mata Au Hi made!	Flying to FREEEEEEEEEEEdom			Ash helps an awesome lazy Caterpie evolve into a fucking Butterfree	They won't look a gift Metapod in the mouth	Ask somebody before you set out to make what YOU think are improvements in their life

Today finds the twerps approaching Wayfarer Island, an island where migrating Pokémon either rest during their journey, or a starting point for others before they set out on theirs. They watch some Swanna flying overhead, and Ash eagerly tells the others he can't wait to see some of the different migratory Pokémon. You know, there's something familiar about all this, I seem to recall Ash having to say goodbye when one of his own Pokémon felt the migratory urge a looooong time ago. I can't quite remember what that was, but... wait... no.... NO!



NOOOOOO!

The twerps disembark and head to the Pokémon Center, where Nurse Joy suggests these three children go walk alone up into the deep mountains without a guide. They eagerly agree to this madness, and she offers a belated warning to them to be careful before letting them go on their way.

Soon they're heading up the forest path towards the mountains, Iris bemused by Ash's enthusiasm to see Pokémon. He stops short when he spots something familiar, and Iris and Cilan get presumably their first look at the glory that is Metapod. Unlike the dignified Metapod that Ash once carried about with him, however, these ones flop and shift about on the ground ridiculously - the animators weren't getting away with some held cells and a slow zoom this time! He scans them with his Pokédex and as they watch, all the Metapod suddenly begin to glow blue - a mass evolution is happening, does this explain all their movement?

And then it happens. THAT noise. It returns like Jason Voorhees to torment us all. The screeching FREEEEEEE of the Butterfree penetrates the eardrums and deep down into the core of the brain. All good and true people cringe and jerk back in their seats, feeling the terror of the return, the lament for that golden age where Butterfree fucked off and stopped being an anchor around the neck of the show.

They watch as the Butterfree slowly flap their new wings and take to the sky, ready to begin their migration, presumably to Kanto where they will hang around making FREEEE noises till they find Butterfree of another gender to get their fuck on with. Cilan and Iris have never seen them before and make the mistake of thinking they're sweet, while Ash notices a rustling in the bushes and spots a Caterpie come popping out of the bushes. Ash explains to the others (there's a turn up for the books!) how the Caterpie/Metapod/Butterfree evolutions work. Iris notes sadly that Caterpie didn't evolve into a Metapod and then a Butterfree like the rest, meaning it is now all alone. Ash isn't quite capable of thinking that deeply though, and just happily remembers his own experience with his first ever captured Pokémon, and how Caterpie evolved into the glorious Metapod and then the wretched Butterfree. Fondly he remembers the greatest day in his life, when Butterfree fucked off with its girlfriend to get laid and hopefully die.

He says he would like to know where his Butterfree is now, and agrees with Pikachu that wherever it is, it is probably happy (and hopefully dead). At least the episode title was somewhat misleading and this wasn't the return of his old Butterfree, that would have been too much to bear. He tells the other Caterpie to hurry up with evolving so it doesn't get left behind, and to his great shock discovers the indifferent caterpillar has fallen asleep out in the open sun. He roars for it to wake up and get a wriggle on, but then inspiration hits and he starts running away, telling the others when they ask that he's returning to the Pokémon Center, just wait for him.

At the Center, he puts through a call to Professor Oak but the phone is answered by Rotom, which happily zaps Oak when he reminds it that he warned it not to use the phone. Frazzled and obviously resigned to Rotom's rambunctiousness, he asks his idiot son what he can to do help him out. What Ash needs is one of his Pokémon, and when he returns to the patient Iris and Cilan, he cures this problem by rudely shaking the sleeping Pokémon awake.

He wants to have a Pokémon battle with it, Cilan agreeing this is a good way to get it to evolve. Of course Caterpie seems pretty fucking satisfied with life the way it is already, and remains indifferent to this stranger shoving his nose into its affairs and trying to tell it how to live its life. Ash calls out Leavanny, the Pokémon he retrieved from Professor Oak, and explains that as an evolved Bug-Type itself, it might be able to give Caterpie some pointers in their battle.

Realizing that Caterpie has gone back to sleep, Ash shouts at it to wake up and then tells Leavanny to blast it with Energy Ball to wake it up. Leavanny does as told, and the startles Caterpie wakes with a squawk and does the entirely reasonable thing... it runs the fuck away!

Ash is horrified, but he doesn't get the message and insists on following after it, calling for it to return so he can beat it up some more for its own good.

They move down the forest path, calling out for Caterpie but finding no sign of it. But Leavanny picks up something, and Ash follows his gaze and discovers Caterpie has climbed into a tree to get some sleep without being bothered by the giant flesh monster and his yellow rat and grass-man monster. Calling out to Caterpie, it wakes and freaks out at the sight of them, racing higher up the tree only for a branch to break and it to fall to its death. Ash isn't having that though, leaping through the air and catching Caterpie as it falls, only to smash his face directly into the tree itself and give himself a pretty serious concussion... if anybody could tell the difference.

Well maybe they can, because the brain-damaged Ash actually apologises to Caterpie, admitting that he wasn't taking its own feelings into account! Iris and Cilan arrive as he explains to Caterpie that he once had one of his own that he helped to evolve, and he wants to help this one do the same. This time he actually asks if Caterpie WANTS to evolve, and when it agrees - it wags its tail! :3 - he tries to figure out the best way to go about this. Iris suggests they feed it, there are some nearby plants that Bug Pokémon like. So Ash carries it over to the plants and holds it up to feed, and it scoffs down some leaves eagerly... before satisfying its hunger and falling back to sleep again! Ash, horrified, shakes it to try and wake it up (great, now they can BOTH be brain damaged!), insisting that it needs to eat more if it wants the energy to evolve.

Cilan tells him that they'll need to figure out the best way for this particular Caterpie to evolve, and after accepting this Ash decides to take a leaf out of Caterpie's book and... take a nap! Iris sweatdrops as Cilan laughs that great (brain-damaged!) minds think alike, and all of them settle down for a nap in the sun. As they lay there, they watch Swablu and Altaria fly overhead, more migrating Pokémon.

Eventually Caterpie snaps awake after bursting a snot bubble, waking the twerps who feel nice and refreshed after their own naps. Ash asks if Caterpie wants to climb a tree, and they zoom up eagerly, Ash climbing like a monkey. Once near the top, the beaming Caterpie uses Stringshot to swing from tree to tree, joined by an ecstatic Iris who loves nothing more than doing just that. Ash enjoys watching them and decides to join in on the fun, warned by a wary Cilan to be careful. Of course he misses the next vine he attempts to catch, and this time it is HIM that is saved by Caterpie, as it uses Stringshot to catch him as he falls, while Iris holds Caterpie tucked under her arm to anchor the weight.

They collect fruit and settle down for a meal, and then all return to the Pokémon Center where Caterpie enjoys a good night's sleep wearing a Leavanny-made leaf hat. Sleeping in Ash's arms alongside Pikachu (dawwww), they next morning they set out for another day of adventures, all seen via montage as they eat, sleep, swing (not like that!) and basically enjoy themselves - even Cilan tries to get in on the action, though he doesn't do too good a job of it!

But as they reach their second night on the island and Ash sleeps splayed out ridiculously on his bed with Caterpie and Pikachu - outside Team Rocket have been observing. Meowth notes that Caterpie is taking a long time to evolve, only for Jesse to point out that she doesn't give a shit about some stupid fucking Caterpie. Their mission is to capture Pikachu, and that's just what they're going to do!

The next day, the twerps take Caterpie to an open field where a number of small berry trees can be found. Caterpie eagerly gobbles down on some Oran berries, and once Ash figures out that it likes them, he decides to gather as many up as he can. As he does, however, he notices some claw marks on one of the little trees and asks what it means. Iris explains that some Pokémon mark their territory by leaving claw marks on trees - which is a hell of a lot nicer than pissing all over them, I guess!

The trouble is, now that Ash is aware he's intruding on a Pokémon’s territory, that means the Pokémon is sure to show up! Just like that, he becomes aware of a deep growling, as a Pokémon that Iris and Cilan MUST have seen coming looms furiously over Ash, enraged that he has taken ITS Oran Berries. What Pokémon is it?



Oh shit, Ash is gonna get raped!

Backing away in fright, Ash and Iris insist they weren't stealing or anything, but the enraged, sexually aggressive bear isn't having any of it. With a huge roar it gives chase of the twerps, only stopping when it notices the oblivious Caterpie still munching happily on an Oran Berry. It takes a massive swipe, Ash only barely pulling it clear before the strike, and then chases Ash and his little worm as they make for cover, with Iris and Cilan only able to watch and pray.

Losing them, Ursaring stands fuming, looking around, then slowly clambers away. As he goes however, Ash has buried himself deep in the bush and his little worm is overstimulated and blasts a shot of white liquid that splashes onto Ursaring's back!

If you don't believe me, watch the scene for yourself!

Caught out, Ash and Caterpie have to cheese it again, Usraring furious that the tables had been turned on it. As Ash runs in panic though, Caterpie makes use of a surprising defence mechanism... it farts from its head!

Seriously!

Producing a horrific odour from its antenna, Caterpie's smell stops Ursaring in its tracks while even Ash gags at the smell. Unfortunately, this just serves to piss off Ursaring EVEN MORE, and it once again gives chase, as Ash and Cater end up at the edge of a cliff. But now that they're cornered, Caterpie's fighting instincts kick in and it actually headbutts Ursaring in the face... then wraps it up with String Shot! Ash is delighted... until Ursaring tears free of the restraints even ANGRIER than before. This seems to be it, at which point Pikachu finally catches up with them, Thunderbolting the fuck out of the astonished Ursaring which has finally had enough, turning and running the hell away.

Iris and Cilan catch up and check on Ash, who has somehow come through all this unscathed. He thanks Pikachu and Caterpie as well, and then Caterpie glows blue and evolves - it has become Metapod! Ash is ecstatic, they made it past the first stage and now he has a dignified Metapod once again.... only once again it's gone to sleep!



That night at the Pokémon Center, Ash is actually struggling through some research on his bed as he goes over the best way to get Metapod to evolve. Iris and Cilan tell him that Nurse Joy has let them know about a large group of Butterfree that are due to come to the island next week.

Did... did they book in advance?

This is good news, if Metapod evolves then it will be able to join them on their migration. Ash is concerned a week won't be enough, though, given that Metapod only seems interested in sleeping. Cilan assures Ash (who has practical experience!) that Metapods tend to evolve quickly, and just then Metapod wakes up which gives Ash a burst of optimism.... till it yawns and goes back to sleep!

The next day, everybody goes for a jog... including Metapod!?! Yes apparently Metapod can bounce along the ground now, even though in the past it has been an entirely stationary Pokémon. They "jog" to a cliff edge looking out over the sea, and are alarmed to see the Butterfree have arrived a week early. They tend to stay only a day at the island and then move on, so they only have till sunset of the next day to evolve Metapod into a Butterfree. Ash is alarmed to see that Metapod has indifferently gone back to sleep, he has no idea how to get across to this Pokémon the human sense of the passage of time and impending deadlines!

So another montage follows as they work on "special training", with Metapod jumping over bars and using a vaulting horse! They jog, the twerps give massages (the other Pokémon get in on that action) and they jog again. Night falls and Ash is horrified to see that Metapod has once again taken the chance for a nap. As Pikachu tries to rock it awake, a mechanical hand from nowhere grabs them both up. Who is it? Why who else!?!

"Prepare for trouble, we don't think, we know!"
"And make it double, look out below!"
"To protect the world from devastation!"
"To unite the people within our nation!"
"To denounce the evils of truth and love!"
"To extend our reach to the stars above!"
"It's Jesse!"
"And James!"
"Team Rocket blasts off at the speed of light!"
"Surrender now, or prepare to fight, fight and fight!"
"Meowth, dat's right!"

Ash roars that they have no right to steal Pikachu and Metapod, and Team Rocket only realise for the first time that they even HAVE Metapod. Shrugging that it's a 2-for-1 deal, they decide to keep both, shoving Pikachu into an electrically resistant glass case, turning the Happy Buddha Face Meowth Balloon around and preparing to leave - no hanging out to gloat this time!

Unfortunately for them they've already taken too long, and a furious Ash shows off his remarkable vertical leap as he jumps through the air and catches onto the side of the basket. Clutching on for dear life, he tries to haul himself up with his scrawny little arms, while Team Rocket come up with a remarkable plan to get him to let go - James has Amoonguss teabag him!



Ash takes the humiliation as he demands the two Pokémon back, while Team Rocket just laugh as they wait for him to let go and fall to his death. Metapod observes Ash's resilience and is inspired, and before Team Rocket's startles eyes it evolves and turns into Butterfree... and starts making that. fucking. noise. Ugh!

Amoonguss' balls mashing into his face are finally too much for Ash to handle and his grip slips, and he falls towards his death. But he is stopped mid-flight by a glow shining bright around him, and he is lowered carefully to the ground by Butterfree, which can now use Psychic - apparently the move is actually "Confusion" which makes no goddamn sense whatsoever so the hell with all of you, it's Psychic!

Ash shouts his thanks back up to Butterfree, which then turns to fight Team Rocket's Pokémon. Woobat attempts Air Slash but Butterfree is able to dodge easily, so James has Amoonguss use Hidden Power... with similar impotent results. Butterfree blasts the container holding Pikachu, freeing him, and he immediately leaps from the basket onto Butterfree's back. Team Rocket should know better by now and just turn and run, but they seem to think they can take both Pokémon on now that they're fully alert, and of course run directly into a combo-move that sends them blasting off again, complaining that they should at least get frequent flier miles for always being on the same old flight path!

The next morning, the sun rises and shines down on the Butterfree that have been resting on the grass. As they lift into the air and prepare to leave for their migration, Ash points them out to "his" Butterfree and tells it that now is the time to join them. It stares big-eyed up at Ash, then takes to the air and joins the others (how do they feel about another mouth to feed!?!). As it flies away, Pikachu, Iris and Cilan wave happily with the traditional BEST WISHES goodbye... but Ash stares down at the ground, already missing the Pokémon he has just spent a few days with training and getting to know. Butterfree seems to sense his sadness as it turns back to look at him, and for one horrible second it seems like it might decide to stay, that it will join Ash as a permanent member of his crew. For that one moment time seems to be suspended as every good hearted person in the world feels a disturbance in the force... but then Ash raises his head with a huge smile and waves his goodbye, telling Butterfree to enjoy its life, he knows it will do well, but don't take a nap and get left behind!

Iris asks if he is crying and Ash, wiping a tear from his eye (awww!), insists he wouldn't be crying at an awesome moment like this. Iris goes,"Awwwwww!" happily as Ash goes back to waving, and it is with great relief that I can report that Butterfree has taken it's "FREEEEEEEEE"ing ass out of the show once more.



Caterpie could have stuck around though, he was awesome!

BEST QUOTES

"Nice place you have" "We weren't stealing or anything!"

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