ENGLISH NAME	JAPANESE NAME	POKEMOPOLIS NAME	DODGINESS RATING	ANIMATION	STORY	TEAM ROCKET	MORAL LEARNT
778: Cilan and the Case of the Purrloin Witness!	784: Somurie Tantei Dento! Daikaigen no Misshitsu!	Sherlock Cilan and the Pissed Pussy			Cilan solves a locked room mystery with help from a Purrloin	Taking a rest week	Facial hair is an amazing disguise

Today finds the twerps leaving Honey Island, having gotten onto the next cruise ship to dock at the island which luckily apparently had free spaces available on it. Cilan says there is quite some distance to the next island stop, so they'll have plenty of time to kill on the ship, so what should they do? Porter arrives and suggests that they enter into the Marine Cup, catching them by surprise since Porter was on The Decolore Queen. He explains that this was his cousin Porter, and Iris figures out that it's like Officer Jenny and Nurse Joy (and Don George) in that Porter is one of many hideous soulless clones designed to fulfil a necessary function in this society so obsessed with Pokémon that its cruel overlords can continue to run things unmolested. Anyway, Ash doesn't really give a shit about any of that, because he heard something that sounded like a battle competition, and now every single functioning braincell in his poor, cobweb infested mind is fully attuned to this and ONLY this.

Porter shows them the top-deck battlefield, saying this is where passengers are able to take part in the ship's tournament. Ash and Iris are keen to take part, and Porter tells them that once the tournament is over they can take in Mrs Ripple's Gem Collection, which will be on display. He points out the lady in question, an older woman who Cilan finds oddly familiar. Porter explains that she appears on television a lot, but then much to Cilan's dismay he spots that she has a Purrloin with her. Remembering at last that she's a famous gem collector with a Purrloin, he sweats in horror - Purrloin is the one Pokémon that freaks him out the most.


Pikachu and Axew rush over to say hello to the grumpy looking Purrloin, and the twerps introduce themselves, including an uncharacteristically timid Cilan. When Purrloin grunts up at him he immediately hides behind Iris' giant hair, and she rolls her eyes, saying they all get it, he doesn't like Purrloins, and he stammers to ask if it is really that obvious.

Mrs Ripple picks the grumpy looking Purrloin up and explains that it’s been grumpy today over the Eye of Liepard. When they look confused, she explains that it is one of her gems and offers them a sneak peek of the collection. They head on down, watched from a distance by a suspicious looking man in sunglasses. Down the corridors of the ship she leads them, to where a Watchog stands bravely on guard. She thanks it and opens the door, Purrloin instantly rushing in, and takes them to a box in the center of the ring which houses the very best of her collection - a series of pretty gems and jewellery including a round green gem with a distinctive black interior that makes it look like the eye of a Liepard. Cilan is amazed, saying the deep colour perfectly matches the eye of Liepard. But while Mrs Ripple thinks it is brilliant, apparently Purrloin disagrees. In a huff it heads out the door, and Cilan suggests that maybe it is sulking because it thinks that she loves the gem more than she loves it?

Just then the door bursts open, a short fat man bustling past the protesting Watchog to declare an entirely too cheery welcome hello to Mrs Ripple, eyes leering provocatively at the gem in her hands. He wants to add it to his gem collection, but she pops them back into their case and tells him - not for the first time - that she isn't interested in selling. Mr Shaw is a private collector, and while Mrs Ripple believes in displaying gems for the public to see, Shaw is the type to lock them away for his own leering eyes to caress and fondle. He insists that he will have that gem, he has a reputation for always getting what he wants, and cackles evilly in the doorway until Watchog slams the door in his face, apparently bopping him right in the nose!

Porter explains Shaw is the type to hoard away his gems, and Cilan ponders uneasily how confident Shaw seemed to be in his vow to get hold of the Eye of Liepard.

Shortly afterwards, the Marine Cup Tournament is set to begin, with the random pairing of the 16 competitors pitching Iris against some Johnny Depp looking fool while Ash appears to be facing some poor small boy who has no idea what he is getting into.

The Johnny Depp looking fool is named Teaque, and he and Iris face off on the battlefield while Ash does stretches on the sideline and Cilan watches from up on the top deck. Unfortunately for Iris, Teaque's first Pokémon is Vanillite, an Ice-Type which has an immediate worrying effect for both Axew and Iris. It rushes in to attack, but as Ash offers encouragement and Cilan ponders the risks of a one-on-one elimination match, Cilan notices Purrloin traipsing along and suppresses a shiver. Telling himself to pretend he didn't see it, he tries to recapture his good mood.

Outside the gem room, Watchog stands guard, glaring suspiciously at the sunglass wearing man who was watching Mrs Ripple earlier now passing by. Up on deck, Axew is alarmed by Vanillite using Double-Team to surround him, but Iris offers a good counter - just hit ALL of them with Dragon Rage. It's a good effort, but Axew manages to hit every Vanillite EXCEPT the real one, leaving him open to a blast of Ice-Beam right to the face... and Axew is now frozen in a block of solid ice! With Axew unable to battle, the smugly smirking Teaque is declared the winner. Ash tells Pikachu that they need to win for Iris' sake, and they seem to be off to a good start, as what little we see of their first battle involves the poor little kid getting his Gurdurr's ass kicked by Pikachu.

While people below decks watch the battle on in-ship cameras, Mrs Ripple passes by Porter looking concerned, and tells him that she can't find Purrloin. He offers to help her look, and they set off, while elsewhere Purrloin enters the room with the gems locked away through an air duct, casts a dismissive look at the case and then heads through the door.

Up on deck, Ash has defeated his next opponent - an Eelektrik - while Vanillite defeats an Amoonguss to set up a final between Ash and Teaque. The Johnny Depp looking dude vs. Ash, two guys well known for apparently eternal youth. Iris shouts out her encouragement to Ash, who is surprised to see Teaque bring out a Galvantula instead of Vanillite. Teaque explains he always intended to use Galvantula if he made it to the final, and a delighted Ash is sure he is going to win now, and sends Pikachu in to fight.

Porter and Mrs Ripple have had no luck finding Purrloin, so they head to her room to see if it has returned. Meanwhile, Pikachu and Galvantula are blasting Thunderbolts at each other, both pouring it on as they stomp closer towards each other. Teaque subtly nods at Galvantula and it nods back, then pushes the clashing electric attacks over at a power conduit sticking out of the deck. The electricity courses through the ship and knocks out the power, and Cilan spots that Teaque appears quite smugly pleased about the whole thing.

Down in the now darkened corridor, Watchog is surprised to see a Roselia appear out of the shadows... and then blast a burst of sleeping powder into its face (I don't give a shit what the exact name of the move is, it does the same thing!) and knocks it out. Recalled to its Pokéball, Roselia disappears and Mr Shaw kisses the Pokéball with pleasure before heading towards the door.

Up on deck, the power returns at last along with an apology for the delay in getting the juice flowing again, but now everybody can go back to being distracted by the cockfighting!

Porter finds Watchog and gets him up, and he and Mrs Ripple head into the room where they find a horrified Mr Shaw sitting on his ass, pointing in horror at the now open gem case where the Eye of Liepard is clearly missing. Mrs Ripple faints into Porter's arms from the shock, while Purrloin rushes into the room and past Watchog.

On deck, Pikachu dodges Galvantula's Signal Beam and smashes it in the head with Iron Tail, knocking it out and giving Ash the victory in the utterly meaningless tournament! Cilan and Iris head down to congratulate him, Cilan impressed by the way Ash showed the best of Pikachu... only to be sidetracked by Purrloin rushes by to the center of the battlefield.


It looks about, sniffing as Teaque recalls Galvantula to its Pokéball and then.... begins raping Teaque's face!

They said Johnny Depp was a pussy-magnet but this is ridiculous!
Ash and Iris rush up to try and pull it away, and Ash is so successful that he sends the little cat flying backwards over his head... and right into Cilan's hands! He stares in surprise at the little cat, then lets out a scream of terror, which probably makes everybody who thinks Cilan is gay pump their fists in the air.

The twerps take Purrloin back to Mrs Ripple in her bed, where Porter brings them up to the date on what has happened - the Eye of Liepard has been stolen. Watchog is distraught but she insists that it isn't its fault that it failed at the one fucking job it had to do. Porter explains the crew is conducting a thorough investigation at the moment, while Cilan puts the factors of a locked room mystery into his head and comes to an inevitable conclusion - this is a job for Detective Cilan! Iris is horrified and mortified while Ash is utterly delighted - he loves Detective Cilan!

Cilan's first decision is to investigate Mr Shaw, who is actually in the middle of being interrogated by the surprisingly Hitler-looking Captain of the ship. He admits to Captain Hitler that he did enter the room without permission, but that he was only interested in getting a chance to get a closer look at the Eye of Liepard - all alone, in a dark room, what the hell does this guy get up to when he's alone with his gems? Whatever darkly erotic plans he had, he claims that he had no intention of stealing the gem. Captain Hitler has a disturbing revelation for him though, he and Mrs Ripple had an agreement to constantly film the room, which horrifies Shaw. Luckily for him, the video doesn't catch him with his pants down, just showing the closed case before the delay between power-cut and the emergency generators kick in in created a several second blank spot, then showing a horrified Mr Shaw in front of the open case, the Eye of Liepard missing. Those few seconds surely seem too few for anybody other than Mr Shaw to have grabbed the gem, but he clutches desperately to Captain Hitler's hips and insists he did nothing, apparently willing to do ANYTHING to prove his innocence. Captain Hitler tells him that for the time being he's to be restricted to this (spacious and luxuriously appointed!) room.

In a passenger lounge, the twerps and Porter gather and Iris insists that Mr Shaw must be the culprit. Ash disagrees though, based on the hard evidence that is the fact Mr Shaw said he didn't do it! Porter admits that they thoroughly searched all of his belongings and didn't find the Eye of Liepard anywhere. Iris declares he must have hidden it and wants to head off and uncover it, but Cilan stops her. He agrees that it is logical reasoning to assume Shaw is responsible, but that doesn't necessarily make it correct. While they do know that Shaw's Roselia knocked out Watchog so he could get into the room, there is no footage of him taking the gem and no sign of it on his person or in his possessions. Ash asks if this means he has figured out who DID steal the gem, and he shrugs and happily admits he hasn't got a fucking clue! As he admits he's never met a mystery quite like this one before, he suddenly notices that Purrloin is standing right beside him, staring up at him. Frantically flailing his arms, he jumps away and begs for it to stop staring at him, but Ash ponders that it might be trying to tell them something when Purrloin begins angrily yelling at Cilan.

Deciding to see if it can lead them in the right direction, they follow Purrloin who takes them to Teaque's cabin. Barely opening the door and peeking through a crack, he expresses surprise about their questioning and reminds them he was battling Ash in the tournament when the gem was stolen. Purrloin remains aggressive towards him and he closes the door on their faces, saying he is too tired to talk anymore. The twerps consider the possibility that Teaque is responsible, but can't get around the fact that he WAS up on deck in front of everybody when the power went out. Cilan considers this and thinks about the cause of the blackout, and suddenly inspiration strikes. Returning to the gem room, he ponders the camera, the case, the table... and moves to check the carpet where he seems to find something that proves his theory - a wet patch!

He brings Captain Hitler, Mr Shaw and Mrs Ripple up to the battlefield to join him and the twerps, engaging in that age-old detective standard of drawing every person of interest together. Porter brings Teaque along as well, the latter complaining about being brought up, and Cilan says that now they're all together he is going to explain how the gem was stolen from the locked room. He asks Iris where she was (with him!), then Porter who explains he and Mrs Ripple were searching for Purrloin. So then he asks Purrloin where it was, showing a rare composure and pleasure while directly interacting with the Pokémon. It purrs an answer and he declares that it said it was in Mrs Ripple's room, though how he would know is beyond me, I'm just assuming he was going to say that regardless of what Purrloin did in response. Porter can confirm it though, when they went to Mrs Ripple's room with the case in it, he saw Purrloin come out of the closet. That means, according to Cilan, that Purrloin saw who stole the gem, and now he's going to tell everyone what he THINKS Purrloin saw.

Flashing back, he explains how Purrloin got into the room through the air duct and went into the closet. Shortly after, another Pokémon entered the room, the silhouette clearly that of Vanillite. Using its ability to generate ice, it created a key for the case, opening the case and freezing the Eye of Liepard so it could grab it in its mouth and leave the room with the gem. Mr Shaw arrived shortly after, slipping on the ice-key on the ground in his shock when he saw the gem was missing. Shaw interrupts Cilan's narrative at this point to eagerly insist that Cilan is right, and Cilan has to tell him to calm down before continuing. He asks Teaque if he has things right, and when Teaque reminds them he was battling in the Marine Cup, Cilan agrees but says he did so in order to give himself an alibi. He used Galvantula in the last round, and deliberately caused the blackout so Vanillite could steal the Eye of Liepard while the camera was out - Teaque is the thief, J'accuse!



Teaque chuckles and then bursts out laughing, leaping back and proclaiming that Cilan's skills as a detective are impressive, but now he's no longer holding back! Calling out Vanillite (which quite cleverly has still got the Eye of Liepard in its mouth, creating the perfect hiding place inside the Pokéball) he orders a blizzard, clearly thinking he is capable of more than what he showed during the Marine Cup. But his attack is negated immediately by a flamethrower from a Growlithe, ordered by the mysterious sunglasses wearing man seen stalking Mrs Ripple earlier in the episode. His Growlithe uses Fire Fang on Vanillite, and knocks it unconscious back into Teaque, knocking him over. Purrloin rushes up and grabs the Eye of Liepard back, and the mysterious man hauls off Teaque's sunglasses, hat... and facial hair! This reveals that Teaque is actually.... somebody none of them know! The mystery man shows them a poster though, this is a well-known jewel thief (he kinda looks like the old fanart version of Dodgemaster Tim from back when this site had a fanart section!) and master of disguise. But who is the Mystery Man? Taking of the sunglasses, he shows his identification, he's Special Agent Tedesco. Cilan is relieved, an actual professional? Thank God, all this deduction takes a lot out of a connoisseur!

Soon after, the gems are on display for everybody on the cruise ship to see. Mr Shaw stands beside Mrs Ripple and is amazed at how much everybody else seems to enjoy seeing the gems, and ponders if maybe she was right to not hoard them all for her own pleasure. The twerps arrive and Shaw eagerly hugs Cilan, delighted his innocence was proved and he turned out just to be a dangerous pervert as opposed to a thief. Cilan points out he should thank Purrloin, but where is the cat? They head out to look and find it outside looking out over the water. Pleased to see Mrs Ripple it leaps into her arms, and Ash notes how much it clearly loves her. Cilan agrees, saying this is why Purrloin was so eager to help them solve the mystery, though it tells us NOTHING about why Purrloin was so grumpy and jealous of the Eye of Liepard earlier. They suggest that maybe this case has solved Cilan's phobia of Purrloins but with a nervous laugh he says that is unlikely. What IS the deal with him and Purrloins anyway? With a sign he decides to let the truth out at last, but as he starts to tell them the ship's horn blasts and we don't hear what he says. Ash and Iris do, and gasp in shock at his revelation.

Will we ever know what he said? Perhaps not. Maybe it's better that way, better that we don't know. Just like it's better we not know just what the hell Mr Shaw was planning to do with the Eye of Liepard all alone in that dark room!

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