102: Charizard Chills
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That SUCKS!
We want to see the new episodes, we want to see Brock return, we want to see all the new Pokemon and most especially we want to see just ow much dodginess the animators can get away with, as well as seeing sh and Misty's relationship continue to strengthen.
DAMN!
Anyway, the trio are riding on their little Lapras when a boat comes charging right for them, almost plowing right into them. Misty is furious, of course, and when the pilot appears and tries to apologise, she just gets angrier.
The pilot is a freaky Bruce Springsteen wannabe wearing a green headband, and he tells Misty not to get mad because it makes her pretty (!) little face look like a Tentacruel.
Well, this was the wrong thing to say, since it appears that Misty finds Tentacruel quite attractive. Her eyes go wobbly, the pink highlights appear and she goes all girly-like.
She forgets all about 'poor little Togepi' who is still happy of course due to all that life energy that the freaky little Egg Thingy has been sucking from the young girl.
Sitting on Lapras, ignoring Ash as she talks with Headband, Misty spouts little hearts off of her head, which indicates that she's overcome with love for either Tentacruel, Headband or Ash.
Our vote goes to Ash.
Our emotionally crippled little boy hangs his head and waves off Mistys girly advances to Headband while all Tracey can do is watch with a sexy confused look that send one of these Webmasters into a gooey frenzy.
Headband scares superstitious little boy Ash when he knows who he is and where he's been.
But before Yuri Gellar can sue Nintendo again, it's revealed that Headband isn't psychic, he's just been back at Rudy's Gym, where the young trainer has taken to bumming around in Bars, drinking himself into a stupor over the loss of his beloved Misty.
Headband tells Ash that the young boy has gotten a reputation for using power over skill to win his battles, which causes a bitchy comment from Misty about Ash's lack of talent.
Headband then asks Ash for a battle and Tracey laughingly asks Ash, "Whaddya say, muscleman!"
What? He's not hitting on Ash already?
Misty laughs at this, knowing that Ash has even girlier arms than she does, and then they head for the nearby Island.
Meowth, watching from said Island, spots the boat and comments that somebody is coming.
Jesse, hammering away at a miscellaneous piece of metal with James, grumbles, "What kind of loser would come here?"
"We came here didn't we?" mutters James, feeling that depression and inferiority complex that he so often feels.
Tim comments that, yeah, he guesses he'd have an inferiority complex too if he was a talented singer, dancer with great hair, good looks and a nice body.
Poor little rich boy.
"It's the twerps..... with Pikachu!" gasps Meowth.
"No way!" cries Jesse and James, hammers clutched to their chests.
Um, yes way! We mean, they show up everywhere you are!
Back on the beach, Ash and Headband (Tad?) prepare to battle and Ash sends in Pikachu. Tad responds with a Poliwrath wearing what looks like a WWF Title Belt, which Tad explains is the belt given to the most powerful Pokemon in his Home Town Tournament.
Poliwrath uses a doubleteam to surround Pikachu, so Pikachu responds with Quick Attack, then blasts the real Poliwrath, a Water Pokemon, with Thunderbolt.
WHICH DOES NOTHING!
Ol' Headband's Poliwrath then uses Hypnosis to put Pikachu to sleep, then blasts the cute little rodent with a Watergun attack which sends Pikachu blasting off again!
Tad then goes off about how cool he is and how he's trained Pokemon to battle past their limitations against different types.
Ash, a little shocked, calls out the big guns in order to impress his girl, but Misty is only terrified as Charizard emerges from his Pokeball with a long, tired yawn.
Ash commands Charizard to fight, but the dragon isn't impressed with Action Hero Ash's dramatic poses and humourous catch-phrases, and burns the emotionally crippled little boy before flying off and playing with the surround water.
"This is pathetic," mutters Tad, then makes the mistake of having his Poliwrath attack Charizard, which responds with a powerful flamethrower attack which..........
DOES NOTHING!
Ash calls out to Charizard to use a different move, but stubborn Charry ignores his Trainer and continues using Flamethrower to no effect until a bored Poliwrath freezes Charizard!
Falling to the ground in a chunk of ice, Ash struggles with a rock to smash Charizard free, doing little until Charizard itself smashes his head free, then passes out.
"I'll be happy for a re-match, Ash, when you learn to control your Pokemon," chuckles Tad arrogantly, then heads off into the distance, leaving a pissed of little boy behind with a passed out Charizard, a nervous Pikachu, a depressed girlfriend and a Chubby Chub Chub Chub/Sexy piece of ass.
Things aren't looking good for Ashy Boy.
Jesse can't believe Ash lost, and James comments that he knows how that feels.
J,J and M realise now is the perfect time to swipe on the twerps, and go to make their preparations.
Meanwhile, Ash is massaging Charizard, trying to keep him warm, trying to make him feel better. He appears to have burns on his little boy hands but pretends the pain don't hurt Awww, Pikachu massages ol' Charry! in an effort to help out, but the combined strength of Ash and Pikachu (they're stronger than four Walter Cronkite's) is not enough to hold Charizard down as he pitches a fit and then opens his mouth wide to burn Ash again.
Ash waits, wincing and prepared for the hot, searing pain to come again.... but instead Charizard just coughs out a little smoke, then passes out again.
What a wuss (says Tim from behind the cupboard, wrapped in flame retardant sheets and sitting in a bucket of ice).
Throughout the night Ash and Misty tend to Charizard like a mother and father tending to their son.
Charry looks might happy when he's asleep, you know, and when Misty brings Ash a blanket to cover the dragon with, she notes the blisters on his hands.
Thinking being macho will impress the red head, Ash tells her that he doesn't care 'coz he's so 'ard, and Misty goes him one better by beginning to massage Charizard as well.
Meanwhile, Pikachu and Togepi stand by Charizard's tail looking concerned, although Togepi's real agenda is trying to find another source of life energy.
The Evil Egg Thingy knows Misty can't last forever and Charizard was going to be it's next source.
Charizard awakens and demonstrates the demons of nicotine addiction as it suffers smokers cough. Ash begs it to go back to sleep and tells it it can burn him and attack him later.
Asking for more pain, eh you little sadist?
Sick!
Misty looks a little over-heated by all the flames (yeah Ash, to help Charizard? Maybe you just want to get Misty out of those clothes of hers!?!) and Tracey offers her some cocoa.
Cocoa? Wouldn't that be water, Tracey? It is a canteen after all, and how would a hot drink help someone who was overheating?
Damn Chubbo.
Ash gets down on himself to Charizard, telling the dragon what a shit trainer he is and how bad he is and all that good inferiority crap.
Of course, we see a video montage coming.... yep, there it is and you know what, we can forgive 4Kids their overt sentimentality because who appears in said Video Montage?
BROCK!
Hurray for Squinty!
Misty almost falls asleep on Charizard as she works at massaging him, tired from Togepi's evil, energy sucking ways.
Finally, only Ash is left to tend the hurt Charizard and even he falls asleep eventually.
Charizard awakens finally and moves away from Ash, standing dramatically by the shore. Ash awakens and is extremely excited to see his Charizard up and well.
"I guess that rubbing really worked!" comments Tracey, in one of the most easily taken out of context quotes ever.
BOOM!
Oh yeah, we'd forgotten about Team Rocket.
Tad notes the explosion from down on the shore and he rushes to see what's going on, finding a giant digging machine pushed out of a hole in the ground.
Team Rocket's motto begins, sounding very tinny because it's been fed through a microphone, but when J,J & M come up on a moving platform their voices revert to normal before they drop back down into the machine and things go tinny again.
Pikachu has been captured in the initial explosion, trapped in a shock proof glass box. Happy at last, Jesse and James laugh that they've won and when Meowth casts a negative aspersion on this, they rush over and punch him in either side of the face before wisely attempting to escape down their entrance hole.
Action Hero Ash rushes to save the day, forgetting he's not even in his teens yet and can't outrun a drilling machine.
But Charizard can, and it flies by, letting Ash jump on before the two fly down the hole after Team Rocket.
Team Rocket think they have gotten away until their drill machine grinds to a halt and they fall forward. Charizard has caught them in his claws and pulled them back. Opening his mouth to blast the drill bit, Ash yells for him to stop and Charizard.....
Does as it's told?
Ash tells Charizard that using it's flamethrower on the drill will hurt Pikachu too, does he think he can smash it.
Think he can smash it? HA! There ain't nothing Charizard can't break!
Flying down, Charizard uses it's stomp to smash the drill into pieces, sending Pikachu flying. Catching the glass box in it's teeth, Charizard smashes it into a thousand pieces and lets the electric rodent loose.
"Can't we win just once?" cries James in despair.
"You haven't beaten us yet!" roars Jesse in defiance.
"Now we'll cut you down to size!" quips Meowth, and pushes a small red button.
Obviously what Jesse and James were hammering earlier was an old stage from James' Community Theatre days, and using left over props from his production of Grease, Team Rocket now has buzzsaws coming out of the side of their digger.
Charizard is knocked back and Ash and Pikachu go flying.
Seeing the emotionally crippled little boy injured gets Charizard PISSED and his tail explodes with flames.
Ash, surprised at this odd sight, turns on his Pokedex and discovers Charizard is using Rage, it's most powerful attack of all.
"Pedal faster!" cries Jesse as Charizard builds up in power, at the same time shaking Meowth about like a rag doll and leaving James to do all the work.
BLAM! Team Rocket's Blasting Off Again!
"Charizard, you're the hottest and the coolest!" cries Ash with a comment that surely deserves an ass beating.
"ASH!" cries Misty, her one concern for her love.
Tad also arrives and congratulates Ash, having done nothing to help himself, and then challenges Ash and his Charizard to a battle directly following Charizard's use of it's most powerful and most draining attack.
Stupid Headband wearing, mussed up hair, Poliwrath owning Bruce Springsteen wannabe!!!!
And thus it's Poliwrath versus Charizard!
Poliwrath opens with a Water Gun and Ash tells Charizard to avoid it with flight. Charizard does as it's told, flying out of the way and listening to a lot of boring back and forth between the two Trainers before Ash tells Charizard to use it's Ember attack.
Poliwrath uses it's water gun to put out the Ember attack and Charizard follows through with a Take Down attack. Poliwrath tries a Mega-Kick but Charizard easily blocks it, flies out of the way of an Ice-Beam, spins at just the right moment to avoid a Body Slam and then grabs Poliwrath, lifts him up, uses Seismic Toss and then slams the stupid Tadpole thing hard into the ground.
In short, Charizard kicks some Poliwrath ass.
"This can't be!" cries Tad, unable to believe the Eighties are over and Springsteen isn't big anymore.
Meanwhile, Ash gives Charizard a big ol' hug that startles the dragon, and then Misty cries out another easily misunderstood quote.
"You were great Ash!"
Ash, always a good winner after kicking somebody's ass, shakes Tad's hand and then slaps Charizard on the shoulder, knocking the dragon off balance and making him see red.
Charizard draws in and uses it's flamethrower to such good effect that Ash, Misty and Tracey turn into a held cell drawn in rough pastels.
Now that's a powerful attack.
And until September, that was the last new Pokemon Episode.
WAAAAAAH!!!!!!
| BEST QUOTES |
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"You were great
Ash!"
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