100: Misty Meets Her Match
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It seems that the Seel's innate suckiness has caused a whirlpool in the water and it's dragging this young girl, Marie, down to a watery grave.
But never fear, here comes Action Hero..... MISTY!
The red head uses Staryu to come to the rescue, pulling young Marie to safety as Ash comes up late with Lapras - whose own suckiness held him back.
Watching from the cliff-tops is Rudy, Gym Leader on the Island and brother of Marie. Watching Misty from afar, without the weighing down influence of energy leech Togepi he sees her as she once was, brave, fearless and headstrong.
"She's great!" he gasps in wonder.
Team Rocket appear very early on (huzzah!!) and Jesse demands that they paddle.
"Aye Aye, Sir!" cry James and Meowth and begin paddling furiously forward... only they're not going anywhere.
"Something's wrong?" mutters Jesse, not thinking to add her own peddling efforts to help out.
Oh no, they cry, it's a.....
Whoilpool!
Team Rocket are sucked in and sucked away.
Back at the dock, Misty helps Marie off the ferry and Rudy rushes up, asking her name. She tells him and he replies breathlessly.
"Misty, you're amazing!"
Ash can't believe it, and before his eyes Rudy's boys are bringing flowers and supplying music.
Rudy moves up, rips the energy leech Togepi from it's deathgrip on Misty and forces it on Ash.
"Who is this guy?" asks Ash as the little Egg Thingy Vampire tries to sneak it's tendrils into the emotionally crippled little boy.
Misty and Rudy begin tripping the light fantastic as the Trainer asks her to stay with him and help him train the Water Pokemon Trainers at his Gym.
"You're not just a great trainer, but a great dancer too," notes Rudy, completely ignoring Ash's plaintive, whining complaints because he only has eyes and ears for Misty.
Ash's irritation can be chalked up not just on Rudy muscling in on Misty but also the energy being drained from him by the evil Togepi.
Rudy, finally taking note of Ash, tells him he has to prove his worth before he can face him in battle. They all hop onto a boat and start cruising along, Rudy sitting quite close to Misty and giving her a bunch of flowers as Ash and Pikachu start blasting the targets put up before them.
Ash get's very mad, but for some bizarre reason it's not at Misty for not paying attention to him but Rudy for only having eyes for Misty.
What's the matter Ash? You got Spooky Danny pining away for you, ain't the v-necked wonder enough man for you?
In a hormonal rage (I mean, it's obvious his anger at Rudy is actually misplaced anger at Misty) he calls out Charizard, who immediately tries to blast him but burns Misty instead.
Calling back Charizard, Ash is yelled at by Rudy and Misty both, and he cringes back in fear at his ploy failing and actually bringing the two closer together.
Up the creek, meanwhile, The Magikarp Submarine surfaces and Jesse pops out.
"Prepare for trouble!"
James quickly follows,"And make it double!"
Ummmm, no one is there? They're not in the ocean anymore but on a creek... but wait, there he is, ol' Twerpy McTwerp himself, Ashy-Boy!
Hiding behind a conveniently placed target, Team Rocket proceed to get blasted off again by Squirtle.
All ready? We didn't even get a chance for Jesse and James to make funny of the new love-boids!
Ash then proceeds to use those Action Hero Antics again, calling on his own version of Rudy's Boys - his Pokemon Pikachu, Squirtle and Bulbasaur!
He brings down all the targets and Misty do be damn impressed, but she's also been saddled with evil Togepi again.
Rudy agrees to a challenge the following day, and then invites Misty to have dinner with him and Marie. Marie is very excited and tells Misty that Rudy is a great cook.
A young Gym Leader looking after his family by himself who happens to be a great cook.
Okay, anyone else see why Misty is feeling attracted to this guy? A little Deja-Brock perhaps?
Ash is left standing by himself, Tracey and Pikachu right there but a million miles away.
"Seeya," whispers Tracey, a little unsure.
"Bye.... Misty," blubs Ash, his heart breaking.
"Pika Pika?" asks Pikachu, unable to figure out why Ash doesn't Thundershock his rival, swift attack him into unconsciousness and then scoop Misty off of her feet and carry her back to the burrow for some hot Pika Loving.
If only the world were as simple as that, Jean Luc Pikachu.
If only.
Ash, lovesick and close to tears, goes to the one person he knows can help him, someone who has had no problem getting the woman he wants and keeping her.
He goes to Professor 'Daddy' Oak.
Before he can get around to Rudy, however, an equally lovesick Tracey, yes lovesick for Oak, slams Ash out of the way and shoves some obscure sketch of some trees and an Elekid hidden behind them up onto the screen.
"Look!" he cries, "It's something I saw in the woods!" Professor Oak is a bit taken aback but tries to be pilot to his son's chubby/sexy friend. Ash, meanwhile, smiles and jokes, "Hey, I'm paying for that phonecall."
He's smiling because it IS a joke, ol' Freeloader Ash is living off The Government's Hump, as the old timers like to say, never paying for anything.
Meanwhile, the dinner is going just as planned for Rudy, who has every contingency planned for. He has fed lines to his sister that sound cutesy and innocent but which are more tightly scripted than a Home Improvement Blooper Reel.
"I always wanted a big sister just like you!" she exclaims happily, and Rudy looks suitably shocked, but he paid her good money to say those lines and she's earned the moolah.
He then takes Misty down to his Gym where his Pokemon just happen to be spontaneously dancing with happiness, just so happy to be alive and know of joy that is Rudy.
DON'T BELIEVE HIM, MISTY! THE ONLY POKEMON THAT IS ALWAYS HAPPY IS KOFFING.....
And while we're at it, BRING BACK KOFFING!
"Say, let's dance!" laughs Rudy, his plan coming together nicely now. Before Misty can say no, Togepi experiences a little role reversal as it is once again ripped from it's deathgrip on Misty and pulled away by Marie, who seems unaware of it's energy leeching capabilities, the evil little Egg Thingy.
Misty proceeds to do a bizarre rendition of the bird dance, while Rudy - a second rate Brock at best - asks her once again to stay with him.
Misty has to make a decision, and Rudy asks her to think about it during the battle tomorrow, inwardly thinking that the systematic destruction of her beau Ashy-Boy the next day will convince her.
A dodgy attempt to get sex from someone who doesn't want to have it indeed.
And speaking of which, back to Team Rocket.
Jesse, still desperate for sex, has positioned herself so she is sitting flush against James' crotch and convinced him they need to stay that way for safety.
"But Jesse," complains James, finding nothing erotic in the situation whatsoever,"How long do we have to stay like this?"
Her hair has been tickling Meowth's nose for some time, however, and thankfully preventing her the embarrassment of failing to turn on the unturnonable James yet again, the cat-type Pokemon sneezes and sends the precariously positioned submarine over the edge of the rock they're on and back into The Whirlpool.
"Team Rocket's whirling round again!"
The next day it's Ash versus Rudy... for Misty!
They start with Pikachu versus Electabuzz as Tracey, Misty, Marie and Rudy's boys watch from a hot air balloon and various flying Pokemon.
Misty doesn't know who to root for, but it's pretty clear how much of a chance Ash has when he gets Pikachu to use an electric attack against an Electric type.
Schmuck.
Pikachu uses a quick attack which Electabuzz instantly mimics, using the old Fatty-Belly Bounce on Pikachu before punching the little electric rodent right in the gut!
Action Hero Ash saves the day, sweeping on Pikachu before it can be knocked over the edge of the cliff.
It's now clear what type of Trainer Rudy is, a teacher of the controversial but effective Vicious Beating Technique.
On the balloon, Marie asks Misty what Rudy said to her last night.
"Huh? Just things," replies Misty, flashing back to the bird dance of the previous night and the sweet nothings that Rudy whispered in her ear.
And now it's Bulbasaur versus Exeggutor, if Ash's loses this it's 2 out of 3 and it's over.
Bulbasaur uses it's razor leaf and Exeggutor dances it's way clumsily out of the way. It rushes Bulbasaur, who uses it's sleep powder to put the stupid coconut tree under.
It stumbles near the edge of the cliff, Rudy doing nothing to call it back (some Trainer, huh?) but doesn't quite topple.
Meanwhile, Team Rocket are clawing their way up to the top of the cliff.....
And now here comes Exeggutor.
"We're falling off again!" cry Team Rocket as they fall. Luckily Eggy itself was saved from the fall by Bulbasaur's vines.
Whattaguy!
And Bulbasaur wins and MISTY IS HAPPY!
The final battle, it's Starmie versus Squirtle.
Rudy stands bravely in the sunlight, turns his head and stares longingly at Misty.
"I dedicate this victory to the girl who saved my sister and stole my heart!" he proclaims.
"That's real nice," replies Ash confidently,"But the victory's going to be mine!"
Rudy appears to be on ecstasy at this point, involuntarily dancing about before he makes Starmie fire it's watergun. Squirtle does the same and then Starmie uses....
An electric attack!?!
Squirtle cries in pain and begins to falter and Ash is totally unprepared, not knowing how to react to this unprecedented series of events.
And that's when the abuse starts flowing from Misty.
Marie stares at the yelling, abusive red-head in shock, seeing past the words.
"You want him to win?"
Ash, of course, gets angry back as she tells him he should be able to beat Rudy and he knows how to get Squirtle back on top.
Rudy loses it at this heated exchange, feeling the searing heat of the heady sexual tension emanating from these two young kids.
And he says what everybody who has watched the show has known since at least Pokeball Peril.
"She.
Wants.
Him."
HUUUUUZZZZZAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
"Squirtle, fire your watergun at the ground!" cries Ash, his Pokemon instantly doing as told and blasting himself backwards through the air and over the cliff.
Tracey is shocked (and also wearing a body-suit under that green top to make himself look buff!) (Shut up, Tim!) but Misty knows what's going on.
Squirtle has learned hydropump!
Leaping back onto the cliff, the water-type Pokemon uses it's new attack on Starmie, then Skullbash's it and leaps through the air, landing in a fashion Jet Li or Bruce Lee would be proud of.
Hehe, Squirt Li.
And Ash has won.
Thanks.
To.
Misty.
Ash and Pikachu then mock the beaten Rudy with a dance of their own, proving that there can be bad winners.
Misty rushes to Ash's side and is promptly given flowers by Rudy, who turns to Ash and says, "You're a very lucky guy Ash."
OH MY GOD! :)
"Lucky?" asks Ash, "What do you mean?"
Oh my God. :0
"You'll see some day," replies Rudy with a chuckle.
Oh dear God. :|
"Huh?" asks Ash.
Oh God :( The Boy STILL doesn't get it!
The trio leave, waving goodbye to Rudy after he has given Ash his Gym-Badge. As they float away, the announcer notes that this day Misty has won a young man's heart.
What he doesn't mention is that she also tore it out with vicious, heartless contempt!
Gotta love that Misty!
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