99: The Mystery Menace
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Ash is very tired, and suggests hopefully that they could stop to eat. Misty sighs at this and whines, "That's all you ever think about!"
Hehe, she's horny!
Team Rocket right away, which is cool, and now have a 'foolproof' plan to capture Pikachu. They've dug a hole and repacked the upper half of it, holding it up with weak struts and a pack of dynamite. They'll detonate it and Pikachu will drop inside.
How they actually knew where Pikachu would stand is beyond us.
Meowth makes the VERY big mistake of saying the word prepared, which startles Jesse and James.
"Prepared?" asks Jesse.
"Prepared?" gasps James.
"Prepare for trouble!" cries Jesse, launching into the motto.
"Make it double!" responds James, letting the Theatre take him over again.
BANG!
Meowth punches both of them, knocking them to the ground and yelling at them for almost giving Team Toy Boy fair warning.
"Well you didn't have to be so rough!" sniffs James.
Poor James, I hope his first time wasn't (or won't be) so rough.
The trap works too well, unfortunately, creating a hole beneath both Team Rocket and Team Toy Boy and dropping them into a crevice far below.
Pikachu awakens Ash some time later, and Stupid Egg Thing Togepi is finally concerned as Misty lies unresponsive. Has the source of the energy-leech/life-sucking vampire creatures nourishment finally gone?
Not at all, Misty is made of tough stuff, which is why Togepi initially latched onto her rather than Brock. She'll last much longer that Squinty Eyes ever could have.
Tracey is stuck in a crack in the rocks, he cries for assistance from his two travelling companions while wiggling his legs around with his damn fine ass pointed directly at the camera. A scene which Lex had to watch and re-watch several times before satisfaction settled in.
So Ash and Misty grab a leg each, practically splitting the boy up the middle at a very sensitive part of his body. Have they no compassion? We're sure Buck Shelford can commiserate.
Anyway, using him as a Wishbone, they make a wish and get him out.
They appear to be in a sewer, and follow it along looking for a manhole. As they do, Ash continues to hear a bell, Misty makes another bad pun and something taps Ash on the shoulder.
He thinks it's Pikachu, but Pikachu is in front of him.... so who is it?
A tentacle! Some big green vine thingy that's whipping about and scaring everyone. Ash calls for a Thunder Shock and Misty makes him stop. They're in a sewer filled with water, genius, and water conducts electricity.
So instead he calls out Bulbasaur and the creature.... EATS BULBASAUR!!!!
Okay, things are getting freaky now!
Ash struggles against Misty and Tracey, who are holding him back from diving into the sewer water (EWWWWW!), Tracey positioned strategically and exceedingly nicely behind the boy, and once all possible dangers have disappeared and there is no longer any threat, guess who appears in a manhole cover from above?
Officer Jenny.
Yep, ol' Corrupto The Corrupt herself. Still, even with no danger evident, she refuses to come down the ladder and instead drops a rope, which Misty and Tracey tie around Ash so that be can be pulled up.
Ash, Misty and Tracey are promptly thrown into jail and ol' Chubbo looks pretty damn worried to be where he is. Has he been in jail before? Has he known the pain of the enforced love that dares not speak it's name?
Is that Fan-Art of Lex's really the truth!
The Mayor arrives, a portly, moustachioed gent who is almost as corrupt as Officer Jenny. He demands that Team Toy Boy be held over but even Jenny knows that Police Authority can only take corruption so far, and she refuses.
The Mayor then tells of a... mystery menace! which has been stealing food from around town, in one case causing one particular loser to bite his finger.
The Mayor's desire to keep the Mystery Menace a secret is explained by the fact that an election is coming up next week and he's going to go get the monster before the populace find out about it.
Enter Crusading Freedom Fighter Of The People - Nurse Joy!!!
"It's Nurse Joy!" exclaims Tracey. Yeah, well done Chubbo, we've never seen one before.
She has found out (how?) that The Mayor plans to send in a SWAT Team to get the Menace. The Mayor gets very angry and throws them all out after even Officer Jenny gets upset.
Not at the plans to kill the monster, of course, but that she wasn't included in them and therefore can't turn a profit in some way like her Drug Dealing relative back at the last town.
Ash, Misty and Tracey sneak up on the ever vigilant SWAT Team later, hearing The Mayor say :
"The safety of our citizens and my future as your leader are in your hands!"
Team Toy Boy are then led by Nurse Joy to an access point where they can get into the sewers. As a Freedom Fighter, Joy is very much aware of all possible entrance and exit points into the seedy underbelly of the city.
Ash excitedly tries to run up into the tunnel but his enthusiasm is let down by his meagre, child's body.
Grow up, boy!
Team Rocket, meanwhile, have been wondering around lost all day and are getting progressively more depressed. Meowth is hungry but at least thankful for the petting that James is giving him.
Except it ain't James.
Running in terror from the vine, rushing around the corner and dropping to their knees in exhaustion.
The following scene could easily be misconstrued if overheard without the proper context.
"James what was that horrible thing?"
"I don't know Jesse and I never, ever want to find out!" pants James in reply.
At least they stayed in character!
The fearsome, dark shadowy figure of Ash appears and in terror James call on Weezing, because as he says :
"Weezing will get us out of this!"
Weezing? Weezing!
Damn, James! De-evolve that bitch Weezing thing and bring back Koffing!
Weezing, the monstrosity that it is, farts out some foul smelling gas and then Team Rocket run away like girls... which they are we guess.
The smoke clears and Misty has lost Togepi again. For some bizarre reason this concerns the red head who should instead feel a liberating sense of freedom and a desire to go give her man Ash a great big smooch on the lips.
The Stupid Egg Thing is staggering in a drunken rage, fat on power from the life-force it has sucked from poor, poor Misty.
She grabs it before it can fall to a thankful, long wanted death. She's saved it, but Ash and Tracey are terrified because that vine is back!
The Mystery Menace ate Misty and Togepi!
"We've gotta save her!" cries Tracey.
"We will," proclaims Action Hero Ash, seeing a chance to impress his woman yet again.
Ash has actually thought ahead and had Muk wired to him by Professor Oak.
Muk is damn excited to be back and flops on top of Ash and, from all appearances, seems ready to do a lot more than just hug the emotionally crippled little boy.
Meanwhile, Team Rocket have decided that enough is enough and it's time to fight back. Making themselves as hideous as possible (which is just wrong, because they damned attractive!).
Jesse pulls her hair down over her eyes on either side and Meowth bites down on James' head and grabs the insides of his eyes as the happily homosexual Team Rocket member widens his mouth.
They rush to confront the monster and discover the SWAT Team, looking singularly unimpressed.
Jesse, James and Meowth stand perfectly stock still as The Swat Team call into The Mayor, telling them they have found three monsters.
"Use the putty guns!" cries The Mayor and they do, J,J and M running in terror.
Meanwhile, Muk has led Ash and Tracey to the end of the sewer tunnel. The pool drops right down underground and without hesitation Ash leaps into the pool of faeces, urine and other foul smelling substances. He and his chubby compatriot swim through the excrement and waste of an entire city and come up sucking in air desperately.... and the vine returns, knocking him out.
The Mayor, concerned that the monsters may be breeding, demands that the sewer is sealed.
Seal the sewer? Um, Mayor, you know what a sewer is for, right?
Ash awakens and finds Bulbasaur, Tracey, Pikachu, Muk, Misty and Togepi surrounding him, staring at him in concern. The vine comes back up and we follow it to it's source.
A double sized Bulbasaur with a bell on it's collar.
Tracey speculates that, as it's a shit-eater, the Bulbasaur has grown bigger on the preservatives, additives and chemicals to be found in the average human diet.
Meanwhile Freedom Fighter Nurse Joy argues uselessly with The Man - The Mayor - who is sealing up the sewers.
"But those kids are in there!" cries Joy.
"We'll leave them in the sewer until after the election!" replies The Mayor nonchalantly,"Children shouldn't be playing in the sewers in the first place."
And as insufferably corrupt as he is, Ol' Whitey does have a point.
Going home and taking a bath, secure in the knowledge that the sewers are sealing and his position of power is safe, The Mayor is shocked to discover the water exploding up from under the tub.
The Mayor flies through the air, covering his groin with his hands and apparently wearing a towel in the bath?
Meanwhile, Ash, Misty, Tracey, Togepi & The Bulba's wash by, followed by a surfing Pikachu!
Ash had discovered a little M logo on the shit-eating Bulba's bell and recognised it as The Mayor's own logo. He asks if The Bulba belongs to The Mayor and we get a flashback of a fat little bastard Mayor as a child, abandoning his baby Bulba (which loves him) into the sewer because it won't evolve.
The Bulbasaur grabs The Mayor and lifts him in the air, happy to see his old master again after all these years. The townspeople run up and there he is, Ol' Whitey himself being held in the air wearing only a towel by a shit-eating Pokemon.
I think this constitutes a scandal.
On the angle The Mayor is being held on, that crowd 'should' be able to see right up under that towel, but the lack of outcry will be explained soon.
The SWAT Team attack and Pikachu zaps them, and The SWAT Team's blasting off!.
The Shit-Eating Bulbasaur, finally clicking that The Mayor is an asshole, sends him flipping off. In one frame you can see right up his towel, but fear not gentle reader, he's wearing something white underneath his towel, some kind of underwear.
That's right, adult undergarments!
Ol' Whitey wears Depends!
The Mayor crashes into a statue he erected of himself and groans in despair, realising his election is lost.
Officer Jenny is sure that a new Mayor will be elected now, perhaps Mayor Jenny? She sure has all the right credentials for the job.
Lazy, surly and sure as hell corrupt!
Ash, Misty and Tracey head on down towards the pier with Nurse Joy, who mistakenly believes the town's troubles are now over. They're going to catch a ferry (we'd pay money for a ferry if it meant we didn't have to listen to that damned whiney Lapras!) over to the next gym so that Ash can finally gain admittance to The Orange League.... even if one of those Gym Badges is actually Spooky Danny's brooch.
Cutting back to the sewers, we see that Team Rocket remain lost in the sewers, trapped behind sluice gate bars, agonisingly close to freedom and yet so far.
"Team Rocket's all washed up!" they cry in despair.
"ATCHOO!" Jesse has sneezed.
Ka-Klank! The bars fall away.
"The bars!" cries Meowth.
"We're free!" they laugh as one.
Hooray for Team Rocket and Jesse's severe sinus congestion!
| BEST QUOTES |
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"Well you didn't
have to be so
rough!"
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