98: Get Along, Little Pokemon
|
|
Ash and Misty whine at Tracey like kids in a car and Misty groans as she asks Tracey why isn't there anything closer?
"I didn't make the map, Misty!" replies Tracey, a bit flummoxed when it comes to dealing with the red head, who suffers violent mood swings that only Ash is really used to.
They refuse to walk any further when they discover the next gym is 3 days away and the nearest town a full nights work. They collapse and lay on the ground, refusing to move until a huge storm whips up and gets them moving again.
Togepi, that stupid little egg thing ain't scared, and even sucks out a little more of Misty's life force, making her drop to the ground.
Ash helps Misty up and leads her behind Tracey towards a shelter, then looks at her with true concern. When the storm whips up something fierce, Tracey burrows his head in the comforting flabs of his chubby flesh, or he would if he weren't so toned and sexy, and Ash presses his head against Misty, getting comfort from closeness to his not-quite girlfriend.
It's at this point that a very large bolt of lightning bursts down and hits a swarm of objects which turn out to be Magnemites.
They watch as they absorb the lightning bursts, and then out of nowhere pops a Jolteon. As they peer uneasily at it, a wagon pulls up and a cowboy smiles down at them, saying :
"Hop in, Pilgrims."
Pilgrims? Who writes this dialogue?
The next day it's revealed that the cowboy runs a Magnemite ranch, he's a Lightning Chaser that follows storms, gets his Magnemite filled up on electricity and then 'milks' them to fill up generators he takes around to local towns and villages.
"That sounds like a dangerous and exciting job!" cries Misty in excitement.
Come on, Mist! What does it take to impress you? Action Hero Ash has been running, jumping, leaping, surfing, battling and throwing himself headlong into danger at each and every opportunity to impress you since Brock left and you never even give him so much as a compliment.
The Cowboy seems to know the Magnemite by sight, and even has a black sheep! #6!
Of course, there is a darker side to his story.
This cowboy is very much like a drug dealer, keeping his 'herd' by addicting them to sweet, sweet electricity so that they remain docile and calm.
#6, which still retains some of it's willpower, often attempts to escape but is called back by Jolteon, which flashes it's sparks to force the addiction of #6 to the fore.
Oh the evilness of this dark Drug Dealer! Peddling the blood, sweat and tears of his helpless, addicted flock to the needful villagers and townspeople.
And Ash, Misty and Tracey are none the wiser of this vicious, heartless machination.
Dangerous and exciting job indeed!
And speaking of energy leeches, along comes Togepi!
Joined by Pikachu, the Magnemite are suddenly everywhere and surrounding Pikachu (they think he's sexy!). Covered in a pyramid of Magnemite and squealing for help.
"Pikachu? Is something the matter?" asks Ash. Oh come on boy, you ain't really that stupid, are you!
Rushing to help his Pikachu, he gets blasted with electricity and heroically keeps his feet.
"Are you all right?" the others ask.
"I'm just dandy!" replies Ash.
Dandy? Dandy? Oh dear, it was bound to happen. Lack of hot Misty loving and exposure to the magnificent theatrical charms of James has pushed Ash towards the edge!
Heading on towards the next town, The Drug Dealer makes up a fake name - Ethan - to throw the kids off his tail in case they find out the truth and also find an uncorrupt Officer Jenny. Ethan gives Ash the reins off his Tauros who immediately begin to lash and pull back.
Ash sucks!
Later that night another storm hits and they watch the poor addicted Magnemites at work... and look at that sinister look on Ethan's face!
Watching from afar and clicking to the truth almost instantly, Jesse decides to take Ethan's dark dealings over for herself.
James and Meowth are shocked at first, they were going to steal The Pokemon and take them to Giovanni but Jesse means to make some cash first. They quickly fall into place, of course, you don't screw with Jesse when she sets her mind to something.
Meanwhile Ethan is chatting with Officer Jenny, who is even more corrupt than her lazy, surly sisters/cousins/aunts/nieces etc.
She and the local Nurse Joy are running their own Magnemite sweat shop, keeping them quiet with foul, foul addictive electricity. But a blackout has hit and without any more fixes the local Magnemites are soon burnt out.
But before Ethan can take his own drug addled brood along, they float away over a hill. Sending his Jolteon, Ethan and Team Toy Boy are shocked to discover Team Rocket and their giant Meowth Balloon, along with a giant magnet they just happened to have along for the ride, sure did come in handy, didn't it!
"Prepare For Trouble - We're Magnetic!" cries Jesse.
"Make It Double - You're Pathetic!" laughs James, and then they continue their motto as per usual.
"It's Team Rocket!" cry the trio. Well done, kids, we had no idea.
"We surely are much obliged for all these mighty fine Magnemite, Mr Cowpoke!" teases Jesse, putting on a admirable cowpoke accent and stressing the word Cowpoke to show she knows that Ethan isn't what he says he is.
They grab Jolteon and Pikachu with insulated pincers which James gleefully nicknames Nabber Grabbers.
"Tanks for the Pokemon, half watts!" laughs Meowth, forgetting that Nabber Grabbers may protect you from Thundershocks but not from electric needle attacks. Dropping Jolteon and Pikachu in shock, they fall down and Ash rushes to catch him and... fails.
HEY! Pikachu got hurt dammit! What the hell is with that! Pikachu isn't supposed to get hurt!
The Magnemite start dropping away and a furious Jesse, seeing all that drug-dealing money going down the tube acts rather impetuously and throws Arbok into the air, causing the non-flying Pokemon to plummet to the ground and do himself some serious damage.
Team Rocket are blasted off but Ethan and Jolteon are hurt, but there's illicit money to be made and Ethan tries to go on. Ash convinces him to let him go instead and Ethan is more than pleased to let someone else do his dirty work.
"Be careful out there Ash!" cries a lovesick Misty as her Hero pushes off on a Tauros, finally acknowledging at least his attempts to impress her. The sad fact that he's on a drug run doesn't occur to either of them.
As Ash moves away the camera slowly trucks in on Ethan, worrying about his ill-gotten gains.
Ash moves The Magnemites along pretty well but at one point they run away and we see some pretty awful slo-mo animation.
Ash is scared they'll escape, not knowing they're making a final break for freedom. Pikachu uses Thundershock in an attempt to bring them back, trying to help but just feeding a bad drug habit.
But it works, 8 of the 9 Magnemite return, although #6 is still strong enough to fight the influences of the addictive electricity.
#6 nearly makes it, but Ash captures him and then begins to get dragged away by Team Rocket, who have returned.
"Prepare for trouble - Just once more!" cries Jesse.
"Make it double - it's our encore!" chuckles James.
"You know the rest!" finishes Meowth.
They're using static electricity to pull in the Magnemite, James rubbing his hair and Jesse what appears to be one of her armpits at the moment.
"They're only going to steal you!" cries Ash, not knowing that the power of the addictive juice is just too much for #6 to fight for very long.
Ash drags #6 forcefully away and calls for Pikachu to run with the other Magnemites, but the injured Pokemon is too sick to run and Team Rocket begins to call in the rest of the drug addled herd.
Pikachu fights back, causing a huge charge of static electricity to form where Pikachu's thunder meets Team Rocket's static. The resulting charged atmosphere is too much for #6 who finally just loses it and gives in finally to the dark allure of that addictive zap-juice.
Getting hopped up like a junkie on PCP, #6 forces an evolution to Magneton and calls the other Magnemite to it like a Pimp calling his ho's.
Jesse and James are shocked, but try and fight back. James rubs his head and stomach, Meowth rubs his stomach and Jesse appears to uh, rub the static plates over her breasts?
Meowth's chest catches on fire and the static plates soon follow suit, causing Team Rocket to run around in circles alternating between screams and.... giggles?
Things to be getting a little freaky now, no?
Pikachu, the hopped up Junkie Magneton that was once #6 and the other Magnemites blast the fabulous threesome who find themselves blasting off twice, that isn't so nice!
Lost now to his Junkie's craving, Magneton leads it's kind on a cannibalistic, slowly spiralling path of self-destruction towards ultimate doom, and Ash just doesn't understand that he's helping them to do it.
Tracey and Misty spot the glowing city and laugh, thinking that Ash has saved the day when in reality he has destroyed the lives of nine Magnemite this day.
The deadly Drug Consortium of Ethan, Jenny and Joy are VERY grateful to Ash for his part in helping their drug dealing ring survive and even offer him a job. They obviously think that they can use him as a fall guy, the patsy, the innocent man, if the REAL law ever comes across their dirty little secret.
But Ash turns the job down, shakes the hand of the filthy, vicious and heartless Drug Dealer and turns with Misty and Tracey to leave the town and the shattered husks of once proud Magnemites behind.
There are thousands of stories in the naked Mandarin Island, and this has been one of them.
| BEST QUOTES | |||
|
"I'm just
dandy!"
"We surely
are much obliged for all these mighty fine Magnemite, Mr
Cowpoke!"
