95: A Way Off Day Off
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4 Kids Productions
Pokemon # 245
"A Way Off Day Off"
TRT 23:00
[:10 of black between acts]
What this means is that this is episode #245, it's called A Way Off Day Off, it runs for 23 minutes exactly without ads and that between each act (or scene) we get 10 frames of black screen, which is roughly half a second.
All this is well and good, but what Tim and Lex want to know is, episode #245? What has Nintendo been hiding from us!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Actually #245 means "Series (or Season) 2 Episode 45", Series 2 starting at Princess vs Princess, but that's not as fun as wild conspiracy theories!.
The episode begins with The Announcer happily claiming that his heroes are in high spirits, which is soon clearly the exact opposite. Team Toyboy are bored as hell.
Misty, ever adventurous, tentatively asks Ash if he wants to do something. Ash happily agrees, but it's not what love starved Misty wants, he's hungry!
Misty is obviously disappointed at the emotionally crippled ten year olds attitude, here she is offering herself to him and all he can think of is food.
The boy just doesn't get it.
Pikachu points out an island in the distance which is hardly hidden. Of course, Ash and Misty only have eyes for each other and can't be blamed for missing it, but how did Tracey not see it?
He's an artist, he's supposed to be observant!
Jigglypuff appears as Lapras takes them towards the Island and looks VERY happy! Ain't it cool!
Arriving on The Island, Ash and Misty just let Togepi and Pikachu run off. Seeing that they're alone, Tracey comments lecherously that they have the place to themselves, but neither Ash nor Misty is interested in a Menáge a Trois (with Tracey at least, Brock is a different story!) but the uncomfortable moment is broken by a fruit smacking Ash in the head.
Spotting a flock of Farfetch'd, Tracey begins sketching and Pikachu and Togepi arrive with a number of spotted pear-like fruit which quickly get Team Toy-Boy anxious to find more.
Tasting the fruit, Ash and Misty spit out the horribly sour tasting fruit. But it's not the pears fault, they're not ripe and Tracey quickly shows them which ones to eat.
Misty insists that Tracey use Ash as a guinea pig and after tasting the fruit Ash can't help but indulge in his freeloading tendencies and rape the Island of it's precious natural resources.
He calls out his Pokemon to wreak their havoc like a ferret in a South Pacific Island, but luckily the two most destructive of his Pokemon, Charizard and Snorlax, are napping.
Old Man Scyther pops out, still a little irritated at the loss of his ho's in the previous episode and Misty calls out Psyduck.... only to discover he was already out!
Ash and Misty's Pokemon seem to be afraid of the former Super-Pimp Scyther, which seems ridiculous to us. Bulbasaur isn't going to be scared of no punk ass Scyther! Back in The Pokemon League he defeated an incredibly powerful Scyther all by himself!
Then that stupid egg thing makes it's move, not out of innocence and love but ignorance and life-sucking psychic powers which drain the joy of life out of the closest person or Pokemon (usually Misty, poor Misty) It makes friends with Old Man Scyther and the other Pokemon quickly make friends too, except for Snorlax and Charizard.
Ash gets very angry at Charizard, treating it as if it was his son, saying he's sick of his attitude and would it hurt to be nice and other such bollocks your parents used to (and maybe still do!) give you.
Meanwhile....
Tim - Jesse in a bikini!!!!! Oh boy! That Jesse be one fine.... ahem, my goodness, I'm sorry, but she is a very attractive woman.
Jesse is relaxing in the shade of an umbrella, dressed in a lovely bikini, James and Meowth next to her and their Pokemon wrapped up in Arbok's coils and sleeping in the sun.... awwww, how cute is that!!
It's a pity that James isn't wearing that cool body suit bikini he had in Holiday In Aopulco (WE'VE SEEN IT! WE'VE SEEN IT! HAHAHAAHAH!) but he certainly seems to be enjoying himself.
Jesse makes it clear that they have no interest in stealing Pokemon today, they just want to enjoy the hot weather and have a nice break.
Stupid Egg-Thing Togepi ruins it all, of course, by psychically taking control of Marrill and making it swim by to catch Jesse's eye.
Even though she wants to holiday, she knows they can't leave Team Rocket and open that little Restaurant and/or Fashion Boutique until they pay off Giovanni.
It sucks that they get back into costume, it would have been cool to see Chubbo's reaction to Jesse in a bikini.
Oh you Tim.
Meanwhile, Jigglypuff appears from beneath a pile of fruit that Ash, Misty and Tracey have collected and sings them all to sleep. Waking up, Togepi has had a new face drawn on and Snorlax now has a nose!!!!
Ash and Misty sit watching their kids.... eh, Pokemon, and Misty comments that they haven't been together like this for a long time!
Hehe, they're parents! Just like a married couple but without the sex!
Hey! Just like a married couple!
Tracey, meanwhile, has made sandwiches with.... fruit?
Of course, as Misty complains about this, Snorlax appears and swallows it all down in one gulp.
And who's that Pokemon? ask the children, and reply after the ad-break,"It's Porygon!"
Yeah, nice, how do the kids know? They've never seen Porygon, that episode was banned due to epileptic seizures. Ha! In my day we would walk 15 MILES through the snow to have an epileptic seizure, bah! kids these days!
As Ash, Misty and Tracey clean up after Snorlax, Togepi insidiously uses it's psionic abilities to take control of Marrill and make it look like they're have fun.
Poor Marrill is screaming inside, is there no end to that freaky Egg-Thingy's infernal machinations!?!?!
Old Man Scyther shows off his talents but Charizard is unimpressed, just relaxing and pretending he doesn't care.
That night, Pikachu awakes and finds Ash is missing from his sleeping bag. We thought for a moment that there was an Ash sized bulge in Misty's sleeping bag, but this was just a hopeful dream on our part.
After murmuring, "Pika-pi," (Ash) Pikachu heads off to find Ash and discovers him checking out The GS Ball.
Pikachu bounces on his bum over to where Ash is sitting and the emotionally crippled little boy makes some inane, politically correct commentary on the horrors of pollution or some other crap before taking out Spooky Danny's brooch and admiring it, still unaware it marks him as the V-Neck wearing Trainer's bitch.
In a scene rife with dodginess, Ash remembers his exploits with the sister of Baby Brock and Spooky Danny.
Spooky Danny in particular is amusing because the song playing is I Will Be With You which includes some amusing lyrics which can easily be taken out of context.
A shooting star passes by.... PUH-Leeeze! What is this? A Michael Jackson movie?
Meanwhile, Tracey is having some kind of wet dream involving mythical Pokemon which wakens a confused Misty up.
Before she can see something which will leave her with emotional scars forever, the sleep powder James' Victreebell is using knocks her out.
Jesse and James begin reeling in the sleeping Pokemon, unfortunately they've also tagged Snorlax and even freakishly strong Jesse can't pull him in.
Super-Pimp Scyther leaps in and cuts The Pokemon free and Charizard wanders up to see what's going on. Misty and Tracey wake up and can't figure out what's going on. Ash comes rushing in and cries out for.... who? For Tracey? No. For Brock? No.
For his Mother? No.
FOR MISTY!
That's right!
Jesse and James come flying down on a zipline attached to a tree, saying their motto as they do so. However, before they can finish they smash into the tree ala George Of The Jungle.
"Team Rocket blast of at the leed of spight," groans Jesse, "Tonight."
"Surrender now or prepare to surrender now, surrender now," moans James.
"Meowth! Say the motto properly!" growls Meowth, slashing both of them with his Fury Swipes. J & J ignore the pain to concentrate on what they care about, their own beautiful faces.
Standing triumphantly in front of Ash, Misty and Tracey we get an interesting ass shot of both Jesse and James, who obviously work out ALOT!
Ash uses his Pokemon to good effect, smashing Team Rocket and then preparing a Team Tackle Attack. However, Charizard steps in the way and burns burns Team Rocket before Scyther uses his skull bash to blast Team Rocket off again.
The Superpimp and Ash's son then face off for a moment before walking away in mutual respect.
Ash, Misty and Tracey then leave the Island and then Team Rocket, stranded on a deserted outcropping of rock in the ocean, discover a Farfetch'd, and another and another and another and another, which then promptly beat Team Rocket senseless with their leeks.
You gotta say this for Team Rocket, they always get beaten with originality!
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