88: Bye Bye Psyduck
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When Pikachu realises Psyduck is gone, it tries to raise the alarm, although it isn't helped by freaky egg thing Togepi thinking it's all a game and wanting to over-yell our cute little hero.
After negligent mother Misty finally realises Psyduck is gone she goes crazy with tension while Ash appears totally laid back and relaxed, quipping that it can't be easy to lose Psyduck.
After Misty goes ape-shit at him, Ash ponders why she's showing such emotion to a Pokemon that she regularly beats and abuses, and Tracey comments it must be love.
Ash and Misty are shocked, momentarily thinking that their dirty little secret is out, until Tracey explains that Misty obviously cares for her Psyduck and hides it behind physical abuse and anger.... hey, the Judge didn't believe it when Lex tried that defence, why should Misty get away with it?
Meanwhile, blue haired Marina is fishing with her Tentacruel and they come across Psyduck, desperately trying to stay afloat in the cold, cruel waves of a perfectly still ocean.
She moves on to find Misty and returns her Psyduck, and then the two begin discussing their various thoughts and emotions on Water Pokemon.
Becoming increasingly excited at finally being able to share her feelings with another woman, Misty and Marina draw closer and closer, laughing and having a good time and squeezing Ash between them.
Now, most men would love this kind of sandwich action, but poor, emotionally crippled ten year old Ash still hasn't recovered from his little experience with Brock and Misty (Riddle Me This) and quickly backs out, leaving the two young women with each other.
As God intended.
Meanwhile, watching from their Magikarp Submarine, Jesse chuckles away until Meowth makes a vain attempt to wrest control of the Team Rocket Trio back from her, claiming he wants to sit up front.
In anger, Jesse uses her long, beautiful hair to whip Meowth back into his place, proving that she is in the drivers seat in more ways than one.
James, of course, knows better than to mess with Jesse, happy in his subordinate position, as he should be.
As Marina and Misty prepare for a friendly battle, Ash calls out that Misty hasn't battled in a while, so he hopes she remembers how.
She replies with something vacuous but - and I will stress that this is pure conjecture on my part - I think from their body language and looks on their faces he's shouting out something a bit more encouraging, perhaps like,"Good luck, Kasumi!" or,"I love you honey!"
Okay, the last one is a bit much for an emotionally crippled ten year old like Ash, but we can live in hope.
After her Goldeen is easily defeated by Tentacruel, Misty pulls out Staryu and her and Marina wax lyrical on how lovely he is, Ash quickly becoming jealous of the obvious closeness and affection between Misty and this new interloper on his turf.
After Tentacruel is defeated, Marina surprises the world by pulling out Psyduck, but not any old Psyduck, this guy is a tough, take-no-shit tough guy Psyduck, and he proceeds to lay the smack down Biblical-Style on Staryu.
"Let's battle our Psyduck against each other!" suggests Marina with a laugh, and Misty tries to comply. But Psyduck isn't in his Pokeball, so she calls to Ash to throw her her backpack.
"Always bossing me around!" grumbles a grumpy Ash, then makes a pathetic throw with his girly arms that falls far short of it's intended target.
We both expected Tracey to suddenly leap out behind Ash and seriously mock him, as all boys do to those with girly-throws, and cry "Ha, I may have a girls name but at least I can throw!"
It doesn't help that Misty makes the worst attempt at a catch since the heady days of Tim's time in his old schools 1st Eleven Cricket Team, but as she lifts the bag she reveals, to her shock, GOLDUCK!!!!
When the ads finish, it is revealed that the 'Who's That Pokemon?' is none other than Mewtwo, and he replies creepily, "Mewtwo." We know that has nothing to do with anything, but the dude is creepy man, creepy.
As Misty throws herself all over Golduck, it poses and flexes for her, making her laugh and giggle. Then it performs some incredible moves, turning back Psyduck's wave of confusion and surfing it towards Marina... until a whirlpool forms!
Team Rocket's Magikarp submarine emerges beautifully, leaping in the air and moving almost like a dolphin, actually scary instead of pathetically hilarious.
Pikachu tries a thundershock but it fails, and Meowth laughs menacingly before calling him squeaky!
Golduck quickly takes matters into it's own hands as Jesse and James consider the horrible possibility that their motto has been screwing up their plans. Lifting the submarine with it's mind, it flings it across the beach and almost kills Ash, Misty, Tracey and Marina.
As Marina begs for her Tentacruel and Psyduck to be returned, Team Rocket decide to do their motto regardless (hooray!) and then demand that Ash hand over Pikachu in exchange for Tentacruel and Psyduck.
Before he can reply though, Golduck emerges dramatically from the lapping waves and stalks bravely towards Team Rocket, vaguely reminiscent of Ash's attempt to be an action hero in Mewtwo Strikes Back, although rather than being knocked on his ass like our emotionally crippled little hero was, Golduck sends Arbok flying after pulling a Nicolas Cage (From Con Air) and walking through multiple poison stings.
Sending Team Rocket blasting off again, Golduck bravely stomps through the burning flames around him carrying Tentacruel and Psyduck with him.
It should be noted that Tentacruels size seems to grow and shrink with each passing scene, by the way, not exactly a good sign in animation.
Completing their Pokemon battle, Golduck is suddenly getting a beating from Starmie (WHAT? After all that cool stuff Golduck did, he's suddenly getting his ass handed to him on a stick by Starmie!?!) before coming back and blasting Starmie into unconsciousness.
Laughing and giggling, the happy girl we once knew before being saddled with Togepi is back for a few seconds, until she tries to make Golduck return and instead.... PSYDUCK COMES OUT!!!!
That's right, it seems Psyduck was asleep all along and can't figure out what all the fuss is about. As Misty tries to figure out what was going on, Golduck charges off to where three girls are wandering about and starts posing and flexing for them too.
As they clap and cheer, Misty finds herself in a dramatic spotlight usually reserved for James as she comes to the stunning realisation that Golduck is just a Pokemon version of Brock!
Boy, she's having trouble letting go of the memory of Brock, isn't she! Poor Ashy-Boy, he just can't deal with an ideal, an idolised memory.
She clasps at straws, remembering Psyduck's glowing tail and how Marina told her earlier it was a sign of upcoming evolution. However, Marina suddenly begins blushing and looks very embarrassed, and Misty realises that the blue haired wonder was basically just talking out of her ass.
As Tracey reconsiders the concept of Misty loving Psyduck (isn't it interesting that Misty was lavishing hugs and attention all over Golduck, who was just posing and flexing like Brock. Perhaps he's more of a substitute for Brock than even Ash can handle!?!), Ash quickly placates the woman of his dreams, but then makes a total fuck-up of himself by pointing out that the final battle couldn't have counted because it wasn't her Pokemon.
Geez, Ash, you really DON'T get it, do you.
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