87: Stage Fight
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Once they've committed their crime, the trio discover to their joy that the Pokemon on this boat can talk, and three of them are performing a theatrical Pokemon version of Rocky.
Hitmonchan, in freaky Pokemon love with a Clefable, is in battle with a Machoke.
Defeating it, Hitmonchan realises he has to see how far his talent can take him, and sadly he leaves Clefable behind as he pursues his career (give it up buddy, talent doesn't matter in boxing, David Tua has been the Number One Contender for 2 years and still can't get a title shot).
When negligent mother Misty allows Togepi to slip her grasp yet again, the freaky little egg thing goes backstage. Once around there, Ash and co. discover that The Pokemon are actually lip-syncing to voice actors hidden behind a wall (Does this sound familiar to anyone else? Perhaps we're looking at animated versions of Eric Stuart and Rachel Lillis!?!).
After being berated for being backstage by a girl called Kay, the head Actor - Roger - tells her to send her Raichu out on stage, but the Raichu is nervous and confused around Kate, who is obviously also scared of her Pokemon.
Once it's revealed that Ash, Misty and Tracey have paid exactly zip for their passage, Roger suggests they pay their way through a trade of sorts (GETCHA MINDS OUTTA DA GUTTA!).
Free passage if you can help Kay develop a better relationship with her Raichu. Ash eagerly agrees but Misty can't help but wander if he's up to the task, murmuring to Tracey that Ash is writing cheques his ass can't cash..... or, um, words to that effect.
Meanwhile, Team Rocket watch from their Magikarp Submarine and an excited James gushes over the possibility of having a Team Rocket Dinner Treater! It's his greatest dream, to be part of the Treater, to be an Rr-Teest! An AK-TOR!
Hehe, he's so gay!
Meanwhile, Ash is saying some very intelligent, mature things about caring for your Pokemon which surprises Tracey. However, Misty is unimpressed and comments that he's just repeating stuff that Brock used to tell him.
It seems absence DOES make the heart grow fonder, and poor, love starved little Misty is remembering only Brock's intelligence, his clever philosophical comments and tanned, toned body rather than his goofy love for anything in a skirt (except, for some bizarre reason, Jesse) and tendency to yell at her and be a real bitch.
However, later when watching Ash and Kay from a distance with Roger and Tracey, Misty seems to be changing her mind. Perhaps she's realised that the emotionally crippled little ten year old is really all that she has left and it's time to make do.
Before she can throw herself at Ashy-boy however, Team Rocket fire on the Showboat with a Magikarp Torpedo (TRUE!) and then another, which causes Kay to fling herself through the air to save Raichu, taking away her fear of the electric rat thing.
Team Rocket appear as flamboyantly as possible, and folks you are going to LOOOOVE this!
Jesse is dressed as a Pirate Captain, and James is dressed as a... YES! James is dressed as......
A CABIN BOY!
Now come on peoples, you all knows what Pirate Captains do with their Cabin Boys, don't you! It's Jesse's last ditch effort to get James into bed with her.
Although they're friends, the woman has needs and James just can't (and won't!) fulfil them. So she dresses in as manly a costume as possible and gets James dressed up as a cabin boy in the hopes she can fool him.
Sorry Jesse, you may have a man's name (In Japanese) and a very butch attitude, but you just don't have the.... ahem, equipment, to please our theatrical, dramatic anti-hero.
After capturing Roger, Kay and their troupe, then Ash, Misty and Tracey, Jesse calls Roger fuzz-face (he has a moustache and a goatee!) and they rush to grab the Pokemon.
Roger and co. make their way to the stage despite being tied up and through secret signals get the Pokemon to go into acting mode, pretending to talk (which makes Meowth cry in nostalgic memory) before Hitmonchan smashes James across the room.
"HEY! HOW DARE YOU HIT MY FRIEND!" screams Jesse.
FRIEND!
FRIEND!
FRIEND!
FRIEND!
FRIEND!
FRIEND!
FRIEND!
FRIEND!
That's right, despite the sometimes desperate need for sex that over-rides her better intentions, Jesse regards James as nothing more than her friend.
YOU GET THAT YOU BASTARD ROCKETSHIPPERS! GIVE UP YOUR MAD QUEST FOR IMPOSSIBLE LOVE AND GET ON WITH YOUR LIVES!
Ahem, yes, well..... you understand.
Soon, with a little help from Kay's Raichu, Team Rocket is blasting off again and Kay and her electric rat thingy are best of friends at last.
Once docked, Ash gives Professor Oak a phone call and Ash's Daddy seems a little strained while talking, as if someone was underneath the screen, on her knees, perhaps doing a little 'something' for her hottie?
EWWWWWWW!
Anyway, Oak promises to visit The Showboat one day, and perhaps he will, if he ever gets time off from his busy schedule of researching Pokemon and having hot, illegal in 48 states (47 if Proposition 217 is passed in Texas) sex with Mrs. Ketchum.
In other words, never.
Anyway, Kay comes running and tells Ash that Roger has lost his voice due to Weezing (that monstrosity, bring back Koffing!) and he can't go on.
Ash convinces Kay and her Raichu to go on, and then foolishly includes himself and Pikachu in the act (like Francis Ford Coppola and his daughter in The Godfather Part III, it just don't work).
Raichu's voice is bad enough, but to hear Pikachu talk in an annoying, raspy Ash voice is even worse.
The emotionally crippled little boy doesn't even put on a voice, he just talks like normal, but the fans don't seem to mind, although a few children are bound to be disturbed and end up Serial Killers.
All due to Ash.
It just goes to show, you should leave The Fee-Ater to the AK-TORS and The Rr-Teests!
Like our beloved James.
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