262: Pop Goes the Sneasel
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Pop Goes The Sneasel!
When the gate doesn't open, the crowd starts to get a little restless, having expected him by now. The massive doors open a crack and a bloke in black silk pyjamas pops out to explain that they'll have to be patient, there have been delays.
He slept in!
Togepi runs past him and the twerps chase it in, the Pyjama-Man cutting off Togepi and Pikachu as the twerps apologise. Then two Trainers run down the nearby stairs with their damaged Pokemon, complaining they can't train if they're in danger like this. They head off to the Pokemon Centre in a huff and the pyjama man asks Ash if he can do him the same favour the other two failed to do and go up those stairs to the shrine and sort out his "problem".
Another trainer pops through the doors, a tall fellow from the far distant Hoenn Region across the sea. He's from Littleroot Town and has a Houndoom with him, and introduces himself as Harrison, saying he'd be happy to help. Pyjama-Man explains they've got the torch-bearers ready to go but they can't get to the sacred flame, which he goes into some more detail about. Years ago (like tons of years, Gentle Dodgers, not 1993) there was a brutal war in this region between two opposing human armies, and the war was not just hurting humans, but the environment AND Pokemon. The legendary Ho-Oh appeared and blasted the armies with its Sacred Flame, melting their weapons but leaving the humans untouched, and also fixing the environmental damage done by the war. The last surviving part of the flame was kept as a reminder of the horrors of the war and also Ho-Oh's salvation, and it is now used to light the torch that lights the flame that sets off the Silver Conference. The sacred flame is at the top of the steps, but there is a wild Sneasel up there preventing people from getting to it. Pyjama-Man tells them that the Sneasel only arrived recently, but it is very territorial and attacks anyone that goes near the Shrine, and now it also has a Machop and a Machoke helping it defend it's territory. He has been asking trainers to get past the Sneasel and grab the flame, but they've all failed so far.
Ash immediately proclaims that he shall succeed where the others failed, and Harrison agrees to help as well since he wouldn't mind a shot at capturing that Sneasel. They all set off up the long stone steps towards the Ho-Oh shrine.
Near the shrine, Team Rocket all ready know about the Sacred Fire and are planning to grab it and demand a big cash payment for its return. Spotting the shrine, Jesse cries that she can't stand poverty any longer and they rush for it, only to be clubbed in the face by Machoke and knocked down. Jesse snaps angrily that the Muscle-Man act doesn't intimidate her, but James suggests it "kinda" works on him. Jesse sends in Arbok with a Slam but is slashed by Sneasel, knocking it back. Jesse and James are impressed by Sneasel's quick and powerful attack, but Meowth insists it is not special. Eager to see him prove this, Jesse hauls up Meowth and throws him into the battle, the horrified cat trying to use Fury Swipes but taking a swiping himself, getting knocked back into Jesse and James before being blasted off again.
The twerps near the top of the steps and Ash sprints ahead, only to be shoved back by Machoke. The others catch him before he can snap his neck and die exactly one episode away from the goddamn Johto League (and don't think the writers didn't consider it, Gentle Dodgers) and then confront the Machop and Machoke. Misty sends out Corsola and Harrison sends in Houndoom, using Spike Cannon and Flamethrower respectively, and as their opponents are distracted, Ash takes the opportunity to rush the Ho-Oh Shrine. He opens the door and sees the flame, but then is attacked by Sneasel, which swipes at him as he stumbles back and calls out Totodile which dances with insane joy because holy shit that cat thing has got a red feather ear and there's a fire inside that house! What a time to be alive! Totodile tries Water Gun, but Sneasel distracts the admittedly none-too-bright Totodile by pointing off to the side, and when the dim little gator takes a look it gets smacked back for its efforts. Misty and Harrison, meanwhile, have dealt with the henchmen, just in time to see Sneasel hit Totodile with Shadowball and send them both crashing back, rolling down the hill and into a tree.
Meanwhile, Team Rocket are discussing their latest defeat, and Sneaselıs overwhelming strength.
"More hunk than we can handle!" comments James, which is the last thing we ever expected to hear from him. Meowth asks whether eating properly will see him one day evolve into a Sneasel, but James points out that he'll just turn into a Persian. Then Jesse tells James she wants a private chat and takes him away where they conspire against Meowth! She points out that they should "retire" Meowth and replace him with a Sneasel, and James is horrified, but then starts to consider it after Jesse points out how awesome their motto will be with a Sneasel popping up at the end. Listening to all this from the bushes is Meowth, and when he hears James say Meowth has done a lot for them he feels heart warmed by the blue haired boy's loyalty, until Jesse says that he has never done anything but hold them back and James starts to come around, and they head back to tell Meowth the "good" news. To their great surprise, Meowth.... accepts! He says he thinks Sneasel will be great, but as they head off to make the job offer, Meowth plots his revenge.
Meanwhile the twerps are taking another shot at Sneasel, this time Ash using Phanpy while Harrison sticks with Houndoom. Machop and Machoke are knocked reeling by Takedown and Head butt and then a double tackle (of sorts) that send them flying and knocking them out, much to a watching Pyjama-Man's shock and delight. Harrison declares that he is going to capture Sneasel, but then Team Rocket appear.... in a giant Sneasel balloon!
"Prepare for trouble, that Sneasel is ours!"
"Prepare for trouble, it'll triple our powers!"
"To protect the world from devastation."
"To unite all peoples within our nation."
"To denounce the evils of truth and love."
"To extend our reach to the stars above."
"Jesse."
"James."
"Team Rocket blasts off at the speed of light,"
"Surrender now or prepare to fight, fight, fight!"
"SNEASAL! DAT's RIGHT!" cries Meowth, wearing an AWFUL Sneasel outfit,"Like I always say, if ya can't beat dem, join dem!"
He walks up to Sneasel in his horrible outfit and offers it a gift, Jesse grinning to herself as thinks (and thus reveals to the audience without breaking the fourth wall) that inside is a smokebomb that is going to blow up in Sneaselıs face, allowing them to grab it. But Meowth cunningly reveals the plan to Sneasel..... who thanks him by smacking him over! Meowthıs TERRIBLE disguise is cut open... "Hey I knew that wasn't a Sneasel, that's Meowth!" exclaims Ash.
"How'd ya figure that one out," sighs Misty, not quite rolling her eyes.
The present falls out of Meowth's arms, opening and spilling out the bomb which goes off. Jesse rushes into the smoke and grabs Sneasel, and they all leap into the balloon and sail away as Jesse triumphantly holds up her prize.... Meowth!
A furious Meowth has had it with being second banana to a cat with a feather for an ear, and scratches up Jesse and James' faces before Jesse angrily flings him into the air, his claws slicing into the balloon and sending Team Rocket blasting off again!
The smoke clears and the real Sneasel is revealed still standing where it was when all this started, and Harrison decides now is the time to make his move. He goes for a little overkill and calls out.... Blaziken! Yes it's an entirely new Pokemon, one that looks like a freakishly tall human with freakishly bad taste in clothing, with yellow leg warmers and a red set of tights and long blond wig. Ash pulls out his Pokedex to find out more, but Dexter has no information to give. Brock makes the obvious assumption that Blaziken must be from Hoenn, and they watch as it proceeds to kick the living shit out of Sneasel. It uses Quick Attack, dodges Shadowball and then blasts it with Flamethrower and then a Fire Punch.... RIGHT IN SNEASAL'S FUCKING FACE! It goes down like co-ed on Spring Break, and Harrison throws a Pokeball which sucks up the Pokemon and shifts, twists, shakes, beeps and then.... Sneasel is captured!
Soon after the sacred flame has lit the torch, and Pyjama-Man explains that he has decided to fire Machop and Machoke as permanent guards for the shrine, so impressed that they got their asses kicked twice in a row in the space of a few minutes. The first of the torchbearers sets off watched by cheering spectators, and Harrison asks Ash if he is entering the Silver Conference, telling him that he is and the next time they meet is likely to be there. He heads off as Brock notes that he and his Blaziken will be hard to beat. Misty notes there will be a LOT of tough trainers there, but Ash replies that no matter how tough they are, he'll beat them all.
After taking this long to get there, boy, you better bloody well had do!
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