260: Address Unown!
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Address Unown
Misty collapses as Togepi manages to land safely (hmmmmm), and they stare at the object that hit her... it's an Unown! Above them the purple distortion fades away, and Ash picks up the weak looking Unown and notes that it is burning up, Brock suggesting it might be sick. Misty agrees, saying that she KNOWS it is sick, and also upset about being separated from others of its kind. When Brock asks how the hell she could possibly know this, she says that at the moment the Unown hit her head she seemed to grasp some kind of weird connection to it, seeing into its mind and also the world it lives in. How to describe the strange even that has left her changed forever though? Well she mumbles that was a fluffy, hazy, squishy, mushy, a fuzzy wow wow kind of ....
Oh, it was an orgasm?
She snaps at Ash and Brock when they suggest that she is just woozy from the hit on the head, declaring that it was some kind of a wonderland...
Yep, that's an orgasm all right.
The twerps settle down and make camp, putting Unown under blankets as Larvitar shows surprising empathy to it. As the light dims and ANOTHER day goes by without the twerps making it to the Silver Conference, Brock tells them that not much in known about Unown (hence the name, genius) but some people believe they can communicate telepathically. Ash and Misty think they should try to find the rest of the Unown to get the missing one back, but nobody knows where they come from or how to find them, they might not even exist in the same dimension as the rest of the world. Ash approaches the Unown and tells it that somehow he'll find a way to get it back to the others, ignoring Misty's protest that they have no way of actually doing that. Unown collapses back down and the twerps notice how concerned Larvitar is acting, Misty guessing that it can identify with what it is like to be separated from all you know.
Meanwhile high up on a cliff overlooking the campsite, Team Rocket are engaging in a little "Who's On First?" routine in regards to Unown's name before coming to the conclusion that, whatever it is, it's a rare Pokemon and that makes it a viable candidate for being stolen.
The next morning, Ash is woken by an excited Larvitar, the usually Emo-Pokemon more chipper that we are used to as it points out that Unown appears to be a little healthier today. Misty - with her hair down, Gentle Dodgers! - congratulates Larvitar on the help it gave in treating Unown, and the little lizard freezes up in horror at her approach once more.
"Good Morning, Mt Silver!" cries Meowth suddenly, infringing on Robin Williams' intellectual copyright. However the excited Scratch-Cat is the only one in the mood, as James and Jesse are obviously in need of their morning coffee.
"Prepare for trouble in slow-mo," yawns Jesse.
"Make that a double latte cup of Joe," mutters James, scratching his head.
"To protect the world from devastation," sighs Jesse as she brushes her teeth.
"To unite all peoples within our nation," adds James as he washes his face.
"To denounce the evils of truth and love," instructs Jesse as she and James do their morning exercises, starting with squats.
"To extend our reach to the stars above," James says, as he and Jesse stretch.
"Jesse," she pushes against his screen to get appropriate face time.
"James," he retorts, pushing against her screen.
"Team Rocket wakes up to blast off at the speed of light," growls Jesse as they shove against each others screens.
"So surrender now, face the day, or prepare to fight and fight!"
"Meowth, dat's right!"
"Wobbuffet!"
Yes it's Team Rocket (in case the motto didn't give it away) and they want Unown. Larvitar leaps forward to defend it and Team Rocket eagerly prepare to rumble, Ash calling for Larvitar to use Hidden Power. It sends forth a blast of energy which is immediately deflected by Wobbuffet's Counter, but before it can hit the twerps, Unown glows bright with energy and a huge explosion ensues, causing Team Rocket to blast off..... and the twerps to disappear!
When Ask wakes up, he's on top of a giant floating shattered green eggshell in a yellow-green void.
Well.... of course he is!
Brock and Misty float over on their own eggshells, with Pikachu, Togepi, Larvitar and Unown apparently missing. Misty tells them that this weird void is nothing like the world she saw in Unown's mind, and then because things really aren't strange enough yet, a giant Pikachu comes lumbering into view!
The monstrosity stares happily down at them and chats away, a terrified Ash quickly realising that it is HIS Pikachu, but for some reason either it has grown huge or the twerps have grown tiny. As they try to figure out what the hell is going on (I'll tell you what ISN'T going on, and that's the Goddamn Johto League Silver Conference), another shadowy giant appears.... Togepi!
Yes the monster has finally gained the physical presence to match its evil mind, and it skips merrily through the eerie landscape roaring with drunken laughter, bounding through the air to crash into the twerps and crush them beneath its bulk.... only to be stymied at the last second by Pikachu's tail. Disaster averted for the moment, the twerps ask where Larvitar is and set out through the alien landscape to find it, Brock and Ash riding on Pikachu's head while Misty is carried by Togepi for once, the monster obviously still needing her life energy for now. As they walk through the void, they pass trees made of egg-shells, and the "ground" beneath Pikachu and Togepi's feet suddenly changes to "water".
Massive yellow objects break through the water, so huge that Pikachu and Togepi are lifted up onto them as all about them appear what look like Electabuzz antennae, much like the massive objects lifting up Pikachu and Togepi. Suddenly the Electabuzz song begins to play, and the twerps are horrified.... what in the blue hell is going on!?!?!
The Elekid antennae disappear and suddenly flames erupt up all around them, though it gives off no heat. Then suddenly the flames are gone, and they're back in the green void, with a small ring of flames before them showing their world, and a Magby? The small Flame Pokemon blasts Flamethrower at them, but again it doesn't burn, instead the Shellder-crowns that sit on Slowking's head appear floating in the air and glaring angrily at them, and somehow, Ash shows retention of former knowledge by pointing out they're seeing Pokemon that they've encountered recently. A giant Slowking appears from a Shellder-Crown and opens its gaping maw to swallow them whole, because this whole scene hasn't been trippy enough all ready.
Once more the twerps find themselves back in the Void, but now there is a giant egg sitting before them, lighting shining out of multiple holes in the shell and a vicious looking black crystal stuck into the side. The twerps approach the bizarre egg in confusion (well how would you approach it, Gentle Dodgers? in mirth?) and peer through the holes, Ash spotting.... himself!?!
Brock and Misty peer through other holes and see themselves too, but they're in black and white and Ash is in colour. The black and white Misty talks silently, and the image they're seeing suddenly freezes in place, and Brock guesses that they're seeing memories through Larvitar's eyes.... this bizarre dimension must be based on Larvitar's mind.
What a sick fucking place that Emo-Pokemon calls a mind!
Brock surmises that Larvitar and Unown have connected on some telepathic level, Unown's bizarre powers bringing them into a physical manifestation of a bizarre mesh of Larvitar's memories, fears, hopes and outlook on life. But then what is the black crystal? Ash reaches out to touch it, and finds himself sucked inside of the egg, along with Misty, then Brock (who gets a face full of Misty's ass at the same time), then Pikachu and finally Togepi.
Now they find themselves in a blue world, Pikachu and Togepi back to normal size. This is unfortunate though, as suddenly a robot comes barrelling towards them with mechanical hands grasping as they twist and shift into black crystal branches, surrounding the twerps as a voice whispers, "So scared," all around them. Three shadowy figures appear, giants towering over the twerps, Brock guessing that they are the poachers that first kidnapped Larvitar as an egg. An angry-looking Tyranitar roars at the giants and the disembodied voice whispers, "Mummy," before the Tyranitar is hit by a series of missiles, roaring in pain as the world disappears around them. Brock - knowing Ash's usual comprehension ability - points out that this is probably what happened to Larvitar to cause it to be so nervous and shy around people, and then Ash notices Larvitar floating huddled in the air. He tries to approach, but the black crystals shoot up and knock him aside, forming a cage around Larvitar, which struggles to get free. Ash cries out to it that he will help it and begins climbing towards the cage, dodging the black crystals that erupt out of the ground around him, Pikachu smashing through them to clear the way. The cage wraps itself fully around Larvitar, blocking it from view, and then falls away to reveal Larvitar trapped in a block of ice. Ash angrily punches at it, crying out to Larvitar to remember that the world turned out not to be a bad place after all, they've had good times together since it hatched. Misty and Brock join in attacking the ice, and Pikachu thunderbolts the point Ash is punching, cracking the ice and breaking Larvitar free, the little Emo-Pokemon tumbling into Ash's arms and staring up at him with a grateful smile as the strange world glows white and.... they're back at the campsite!
Misty approaches Larvitar, and to her great delight it smiles at her and shakes her hand, apparently feeling more confident now than ever. The sick Unown has returned, but now seems back in good health. The purple distortion appears in the air once more, and the rest of the Unown appear, the missing one returning to them as Larvitar and twerps say their goodbyes.
So, Gentle Dodgers, Larvitar appears to finally be coming out of its shell, and it might even find itself becoming a useful member of the team.
Better dump it the next episode then!
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