245: One Trick Phony!
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One Trick Phony
Josephine indeed does use Sweet Kiss, but Pikachu dodges it, and then uses Agility to dodge a second Sweet Kiss before smacking it over with Quick Attack and preparing a Thunderbolt. Before it can though, the trainer calls a halt, throwing in the towel and giving Ash the victory.
Ash is pleased to win, but a little upset that he hasn't had a chance to get in some good training ahead of his upcoming Blackthorn City Gym match. The lady Trainer tells him he might get his wish after all, and tells him about the Battle Park, a training ground where trainers can come in and battle against all manner of different, high level Pokemon. Ash asks if the others want to go, and Brock informs him that as long as there are pretty girls, he's happy!
Well there is at least one, as at the Battle Park itself we find Team Rocket taking part in another of their long line of short-term, part time jobs. Dressed in Battle Park uniforms, their job is to polish balls (James thought his days of doing that for money were long gone), bored out of their minds and singing a 99 Pokeballs on the wall song. The Park Ranger pops in and tells them (and by proxy, us) that since the Park is closed today, they can head around the different areas and sweep up, then gives them another box of dirty balls. He laughs that they've got the easy job; he has to go and shop!
He leaves and Jesse is furious, tired of such menial labour. She tells them they're going to leave, but then they hear Ash's voice, calling out to see if anyone is there. Realising this is their chance to grab Pikachu, they leap out in their Park Uniforms (all that is needed to fool the stupid Ash, squinty-eyed Brock and energy drained Misty) and inform them that they're in luck; they can take them into the Battle Park.
They lead the twerps to the registration desk, informing them that the Park is VERY busy today and all of the different Pokemon are not available. The twerps are confused; they're the only ones there! Team Rocket assure them that they're pre-booked, but say they can take them into the park and face some very talented trainers inside. They take them to a giant, Jurassic Park like gate which leads into the park, then take off leaving them behind. The doors open, and the twerps head in and spot three Pokemon trainers, a man in leather jacket and sunglasses with blue hair, a lady in leather jacket, sunglasses and red hair tied in a bun..... and a furry-faced, short fat man with whiskers in a robe, sunglasses and top hat!
They tell Ash they're the top trainers around, Meowth insisting to Jesse and James that he wants to take the chance to finally be in a Pokemon Battle not as a Pokemon. Ash could care less, he just wants to fight, and they prepare to battle.... until he realises that no one is actually there to officiate!
Brock suggests he could be the referee, obviously confused that the Battle Park doesn't have someone there to do the job for them. James grabs out one of the random Pokeballs that they grabbed from their ball-cleaning duties, and throws out.... a VENUSAUR!
Ash checks it out with Dexter since he is a retard, and when Venusaur stomps to show how strong it is, Ash reacts by calling out the most likely Pokemon to deal with such a powerful monster.... his blind baby mouse Cyndaquil!
Venusaur uses Razor Leaf and Cyndaquil dodges it, the power razor leaves hitting the trees and chopping through them, toppling them to the ground. James roars with delight at his Pokemon's power and orders a Tackle, and Cyndaquil tries to dodge but is sent flying. Venusaur follows through with Vine Whip but this time Cyndaquil successfully dodges, though more trees are sent crashing to the ground before the Vine Whip comes back around and smashes into Cyndaquil. Venusaur fires two massive blasts of Razor Leaf at Cyndaquil which hides behind Smokescreen then uses Swift Attack.... and actually hurts the massive Pokemon. Venusaur dodges aside from Cyndaquil's Flamethrower but the little mouse keeps pouring on the flame and manages to hit the big Pokemon, and James tries to figure out what move to use. He suddenly remembers one of Venusaur's potential moves and asks it if it can do its most powerful attack, and when it nods he calls for a Solar Beam. Cyndaquil tries Flamethrower as the Solar Beam builds up, but before it can hit Venusaur letıs rip and blasts through the fire, smashing into Cyndaquil and slamming it against a tree, knocking it out.
James wins!
Ash quite rightly congratulates Cyndaquil on surviving so long against the behemoth, and then comments that James is awesome! He can't wait for the next match, but who will it be against? Well Team Rocket argue over who that should be, James insisting it is still his turn and as he and Meowth argue over it, Jesse grabs a Pokeball and throws out.... CHARIZARD!
Ash checks out Charizard with Dexter....
YOU FUCKING RETARD!
....and as James complains he always wanted one Ash calls out Totodile, which dances with insane glee. Jesse grins, and then tells Charizard to use...... Poison Sting!
Charizard gapes in surprise as James and Meowth fall over in shock, and then Totodile blasts it with Water Gun. James and Meowth insist it isn't an Arbok and offer her a book with guidance on attacks, but she doesn't have time for that she calls the shots here! She orders Charizard to use Dig and.... it does! It leaps into the air and crashes into the dirt, then emerges again and is ordered to use..... IRON TAIL!?!
Again to everyoneıs shock, Charizard does as it is told and smashes Totodile aside.... and it leaps back up and dances some more. Charizard tries another Iron Tail again as Brock mutters that all the rules he knows have gone out the window, and Totodile dodges then uses.... Scary Face! Charizard replies with its own Scary Face and they both leer and loom at each other, sucking in air and getting more and more breathless until they both collapse. Totodile leaps back up and blasts Water Gun at Charizard as Jesse remembers that it can fly and has it dodge away. She then remembers another Charizard attack...... FLAMETHROWER! It blasts through Totodile's Water Gun and fries the little gator, causing it to.... shakes it off! Charizard tries another Flamethrower but Totodile uses Water Gun to dodge aside, flying into the air behind Charizard and smacking it between the shoulders with Water Gun full on.
Charizard hits the ground knocked out, and Brock declares Ash and Totodile the winner. Totodile dances with glee as Jesse roars it isn't fair, Totodile's can't fly! Meowth and James ignore her though to argue over who will battle next and as they do Jesse grabs another Pokeball, snapping at them that all is fair in love and war, then instructs them to go grab some goodies while she wins the battle. Meowth moans he didn't even get a chance to fight and she roars at them to get to, and then throws out her latest Pokemon.... BLASTOISE!
Misty wonders if Ash has figured out yet that he is fighting the final evolutions of three of his first few Pokemon - charmander, Squirtle and Bulbasaur. Probably not, that would be giving him too much credit.
Jesse decides to do this by the book and checks through her guide, but by then Blastoise is getting hit with a Quick Attack from Pikachu and she roars that she wasn't ready. She hurriedly calls for a Skull Bash from Blastoise while Pikachu falls in jerky slow motion through the air behind it. Pikachu moves back into normal time though and dodges behind Blastoise while Jesse tries to figure out how to deal with Speed, and calls for Bubble Attack. Pikachu dives past with a Quick Attack and hits the big turtle, then tries Thunderbolt.... but Blastoise uses Withdraw and absorbs the damage with no pain. Jesse searches through the book but can find no recommended Counterattack suggested, so she orders a Hydro-Pump! Pikachu tries to dodge but gets smashed hard against a tree and then Blastoise hits it with another, smashing Pikachu back harder and harder.... and then Ash calls for Pikachu's most powerful Thunderbolt. It travels back over the Hydro-Pump and zaps Blastoise, then Pikachu lets loose a powerful Thunder which rips through the ground and slams into Blastoise AND Jesse, the big turtle falling on top of her. Furious, she calls it back into its Pokeball, leaps up, windmills her arm and roars for Arbok to come out.
Ash is surprised to see an Arbok, and Pikachu desperately tries to dodge Poison Sting... then gets grabbed by a mechanical arm from above!
"Prepare for trouble with a capital T!" says Jesse, revealing her Team Rocket outfit.
"Make it double we're on a Pokemon stealing spree... using Park Pokemon potpourri!" adds James, adding an unnecessary line.
"Try saying dat twice!" giggles Meowth.
"To protect the world from devastation."
"To unite all peoples within our nation."
"To denounce the evils of truth and love."
"To extend our reach to the stars above."
"Jesse."
"James."
"Team Rocket blasts off at the speed of light,"
"Surrender now or prepare to fight, fight, fight!"
"Meowth! Dat's right!"
Jesse grabs onto the balloon and is carried away as the Park ranger returns and demands that they hand back the Pokeballs too. Totodile and Politoed are called out and told to use Water Gun, but only Totodile does. Politoed claps happily as Pikachu is knocked free into Ash's arms and Misty snaps at Politoed that she told it to use Water Gun! It claps happily and belatedly does as it was told, blasting the side of the balloon and send Team Rocket crashing to the ground. The twerps and ranger rush up and yell at them to hand over the Pokeballs, but they laugh that they've got their own army now and call out Charizard, Blastoise and Venusaur. The three Pokemon turn around and look at Team Rocket as Jesse says she has never felt so powerful, but the three Pokemon don't follow orders!
The ranger smiles, telling Team Rocket that yes they're amazingly obedient, as long as they're INSIDE the park. Team Rocket realise the error of their ways too late, as they're hit with a mixture of Flamethrower, Hydropump and Solarbeam and sent, of course, blasting off again.
As the sun sets, the twerps continue on their way with Misty pointing out that despite Team Rocket's interference, Ash got to successfully face off with a Charizard, Blastoise and Venusaur. Ash agrees, though he probably doesn't quite understand the relevance of what she is saying, and they set off once again for Blackthorn City.
| BEST QUOTES |
 "I win!"
 "I'm not sure if I'd call it scary or disturbing."
"Oh boy. We got a big, strong, handsome blastoise."
"I have no time for such a bank of bunk."
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