239: As Clear as Crystal |
Dodgy Synopsis
Misty angrily snaps at Ash that they just COULDN'T ask for directions, could they (well, in Ash's defence, he WAS only just a Pikachu!) and vents her fury at Ash as Brock checks his guide book and declares that.... they're lost! So the twerps are lost? So they're not getting to Blackthorn City anytime soon? Well we all knew that, didn't we Gentle Dodgers? In fact, we could all clearly see another distraction getting in the way of their forward momentum. That was.... As Clear As Crystal Misty complains that she wanted a night in town to get some proper beauty sleep, and in an incredibly rare moment of insight into the female psyche, Ash tells her she doesn't NEED any beauty sleep. Woah, even Ash can talk better to females than Brock can! Suddenly two strangers in suits and flamboyant bowties appear a male with blue hair and a female with long, flowing red hair. They seem oddly familiar, but sidewind the twerps with fast-paced sales pitch about the utter benefits of a special chair they have with them designed to increase the energy and health of electric Pokemon. The girl grabs Pikachu off of Ash's shoulder before the dull boy can really react and settles Pikachu into the chair, strapping it in before they leap high up into a basket floating over heard, attacked to...... A HAPPY BUDDHA FACE MEOWTH BALLOON! "Prepare for trouble, no time to spare!" "Make it double, as we slice the air!" "We'll cut it short right dere!" finishes Meowth, as the blue haired boy and red haired girl cry TADA! and rip off their outfits to reveal Team Rocket outfits! HOLY CRAP! IT WAS TEAM ROCKET! Jesse mocks Ash, telling him he should get Pikachu to use Thunderbolt, and Ash decides he is going to outsmart Jesse by doing exactly what she tells him to. Pikachu lets rip with Thunderbolt, but when it does a machine hooked up to the seat absorb the electrical energy, much to Team Rocket's delight. They kick into a fresh sales pitch, this one about the wonders of their Electricity Sucker (Mark II), explaining that the more electricity that Pikachu pours on, the more the machine will absorb. Ash's reaction to this? He tells Pikachu to turn up the juice! Team Rocket are ecstatic as their machine is fed more and more power, Pikachu is the gift that keeps on giving, it seems, and...... and they realise that their machine has a limited storage capacity, and Pikachu is about to exceed it. The machine suddenly sparks and explodes; freeing Pikachu which rejoins the twerps as Team Rocket's balloon explodes, sending them blasting off again! The twerps celebrate, but it is short-lived as they realise that Pikachu is drained of energy and looking sick. A girl in 19th Century old British Explorer gear with terrible hair and sweatband struggling to hold back her out of control fringe approaches, asking them if they're okay after hearing an explosion. Brock dramatically explains that they were attacked and Pikachu almost kidnapped, and he'd be happy to flesh out the details for her.... and Misty grabs his ear and growls at him that he won't be fleshing out anything. HAHA! Miss Sweatband notes Pikachu's condition, and comes to a decision. She tells the twerps that she can take them to a place to help Pikachu recover, but they must promise to keep it a secret and never tell anyone else about it. They head off together, moving up a steep hill as beside them other electric-type Pokemon (An Electabuzz, Magnemite and Raichu) also move up hill, Miss Sweatband telling them they're heading for the same place. When they reach the top of the hill, they discover a large lake stretching out along the hilltop, something Brock proclaims he has never seen before (except for all the other times he has), and they also notice a large number of Electric Pokemon soaking themselves in the lake with a long of contentment on their faces. Ash lowers Pikachu into the water, and little sparks run up it as a smile crosses Pikachu's face, all the stress and pain apparently washed away. Oh hey, it's Cocoon with less half naked old people! Once Pikachu has recovered, Miss Sweatband can't resist showing off now that she has let them in on the secret location of the lake. She takes them on a boat to the middle of the lake where the water seems to glow, and opens a panel to reveal a glass bottom to the boat. The twerps look through the water, and see to their astonishment what looks like an old, abandoned temple with a glowing crystal set into the top. Miss Sweatband eagerly tells the twerps everything she knows about the crystal (which isn't much), and again urges them not to tell anyone, in case the wrong type of people overhear. Meanwhile, overhearing all this is the wrong kind of people, Team Rocket! Listening from the woods by the shore, Jesse eagerly imagines what they will do if they can get their hands on that big crystal, and we see her bathing in a crystal bath (apparently Jesse takes baths in a swimming costume) and sleeping happily in a crystal bed before dressing herself in a crystal dress to go to the Crystal Ball. James just imagines a massive crystal palace, while Meowth declares they'll be worth their weight in crystals. Before you can say something that would take you longer to say than it takes them to do what they're doing, Team Rocket have hopped into their functional and cheap Tentacruel submarine, which is basically a big box made up to look like a Tentacruel, while four of the "tentacles" are actually Jesse and James' legs in rubber, kicking them through the water. Jesse moans at the poor state of their transportation, but it seems they spent all their money on the ill-fated Electricity Sucker. Still, the cheap option seems to work better than any of their high-tech solutions, as they reach the old temple and grab the crystal away from the temple. On the lake shore, the twerps and Miss Sweatband are shocked to see the water stop glowing. What is going on? The answer comes quickly enough; when they see the Tentacruel Submarine staggering out of the water, struggling to pull the crystal from the water as Team Rocket (re)introduce themselves. "Prepare for trouble, we'll never get caught!" "Make it double and look what we've got!" adds James, struggling to rhyme. "To protect the world from devastation." "To unite all peoples within our nation." "To denounce the evils of truth and love." "To extend our reach to the stars above." "Jesse." "James." "Team Rocket blasts off with a quick bolt of light!" "Surrender now or prepare to be zapped with our electrical might!" "Meowth, Dat's right!" cries Meowth through a walky talk held up by Wobbuffet as he drops a line to Jesse, James and Wobbuffet, lifting them up beneath the balloon. Pikachu and the other Electric Pokemon try to blast the balloon, but apparently the money Team Rocket spent on their Electricity Sucker also included an upgrade, as they absorb the energy easily and lock the Pokemon into pouring on the energy, hurting themselves and helping the "villains". It seems Team Rocket are going to get away with this one, when suddenly a fresh zap of electricity breaks the current and frees the Pokemon. The twerps, Miss Sweatband and Team Rocket all look up at the sky as storm clouds form, then part to reveal... MOTHERFUCKING ZAPDOS! Ash uses his Pokedex to find out information on Zapdos (surprisingly it doesn't say, "IT'S A MOTHERFUCKING ZAPDOS YOU MORON!") while Brock and Misty share surprise to see a Legendary Pokemon the fuck out of nowhere. Team Rocket aren't looking a gift horse in the mouth though, that's a Zapdos, and they can only think about how much the Boss would reward them for one.... and they can keep the crystal... they'd finally be out of debt! Zapdos sends a blast of electricity at them but the Electricity Sucker surprisingly absorbs the blast easily, with even Team Rocket expressing surprise that they haven't been blasted out of the sky. Miss Sweatband cries out to Zapdos to use more power (Oh! MORE power!) and it blasts the Electricity Sucker again with a far stronger blast, overloading it and sending Team Rocket blasting off again. Zapdos collapses on the ground and Miss Sweatband explains that it was already sick, and had been around the lake trying to be healed. Apparently this was an even bigger secret than everything else, and the twerps only thought they knew what she was trying to hide. Unfortunately Team Rocket were blasted off with the missing crystal, and without it the water in the lake is just water again. Ash declares that he will get the crystal back, however, and heads off with Brock and Misty to try and find Team Rocket. They move through the forest, Brock proving his squinted eyes see more than a girl's visible panty line. He figured out where Team Rocket crashed despite the fact they were above the treeline when they were blasted off, and sent flying for several miles. They quickly discover Team Rocket by the remains of their balloon, still holding onto the crystal. James moans that maybe if they turn around the twerps won't see them, but since this is a very silly idea, Jesse ignores it and sends out Arbok. James adds in Victreebell, which quickly tries to eat him, as is its wont. Arbok tries a Poison Sting but Pikachu dodges with Quick Attack, tackling the snake back into Jesse and knocking her aside. James sends Victreebell in to try and save the day, but Pikachu uses Quick Attack again to dodge Razor Leaf, sending Victreebell smashing into James. Ash then demands that they hand over the crystal, and Jesse agrees, throwing Ash..... a tiny Wobbuffet! He holds the little blue blob with a look of surprise, and then the little Wobbuffet inflates quickly and explodes! Well, okay! As Team Rocket try to take off, Ash orders Bayleef to use Vine whip to grab the crystal. James is having none of that, though, and has Victreebell use its Vine Whip to grab the crystal as well, creating an impromptu tug of war. As they tug back and forth, Arbok fires a Poison Sting at the twerps, which gets Thunder shocked by Pikachu and blasts into Team Rocket, sending them blasting off yet again! The crystal falls through the air as they blast off, and Ash rushes forward to catch it. Unfortunately for Ash, he forgets that he's on a cliff and pitches over the side, grabbed at the last second by Bayleef's Vine Whip, saving both the crystal AND him. They head back to the lake, Ash swimming down to the old temple and replacing the crystal in its old resting place. He swims back to shore, but when he gets out the others tell him what he should have noticed with his own eyes, the crystal is still not glowing. Where humans have failed though, Pokemon may prevail. Pikachu and the other Pokemon jump into the water and swim down to the crystal, blasting it with electricity and firing it back up. As the lake begins to glow again, the twerps and Miss Sweatband push Zapdos into the water allowing it to sink to its eventual drowning death. The certainty of this death is only strengthened when the crystal promptly stops glowing again, and the Pokemon still in the water blast the crystal with electricity once more as Zapdos sinks towards the bottom and the crystal begins to glow once more. Suddenly Zapdos bursts out of the lake, crackling with energy and crying out in full force as it smashes a powerful current of electricity into the water (turning it into a death trap if any of the twerps should happen to get too close. The crystal pulses with light again, apparently fully recharged once more. Zapdos turns and flies away, and it is time for the twerps to do so too. Miss Sweatband again asks the twerps not to say anything about the lake (and assumes that Team Rocket either died or just won't bother to mention any of this to anyone at any time) and Brock promises to lock the secret away..... just as he will always keep the memory of her beauty deep in his heart and mind! Before he can start talking about his pants, however, Misty drags him away. But what of team Rocket? Surely they'll mention something to the Boss about a lake and giant crystal that revitalises Pokemon and has a Zapdos hanging around? Or maybe not, as we find them hanging from a tree limb in a chain - Wobbuffet, Meowth, Jesse and James. They watch in horror as Zapdos flies by and zaps them with another harsh blast of electricity. As Team Rocket moan that they're "hanging around again!", Zapdos' message is clearer than Miss Sweatbands anxious moaning for the twerps to keep quiet. Keep your mouth shut.... or else!
|