236: Whichever Way the Wind Blows
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Oh dear, upset stomachs? The twerps better look out for....
Whichever Way The Wind Blows
Brock offers the sickly Oddish some specially designed food meant to buck up sick Pokemon, and it seems to work right away. The Oddish leap eagerly up while Ash wonders how they got so sick to begin with, and a quick conference with Pikachu leads the twerps over the hill and far away, to Grandmother's House the.... oops, wrong story!
Theyıre lead to a big tree in the middle of a field, which Brock guesses to be at least 150 years old. Near the tree are more Pokemon, but these ones aren't sick, no they're full of piss and vinegar (like a short-lived snack treat from,"We're Going Bankrupt, LLC"). It is a few Vileplume and some Bellossom and they're all up in each others faces, bumping on front street and warning each other they should "get to stepping". The face-off quickly degenerates into a full-blown rumble, and Pikachu rushes up to try and make peace, getting its fat ass knocked backwards in the process. Realising that these hot-fired tempers need a fellow fiery-blooded Pokemon the sort shit out, Ash releases Bayleef from its Pokeball. Using vine Whip, Bayleef separates the two warring factions, at which point Ash smiles and goofily declares now they can apologise and go back to being friends.
My God, Ash is the United Nations.
The two groups walk off in a huff, perhaps with a final warning to stay off "da block" to the other group. As the twerps stand confused, a man rushes up to them from out of nowhere, thanking them for their efforts. His name is Steven, a nerdy looking scientist who looks suspiciously like Team Rocket's evil Doctor Sebastian sans goatee. He thanks them for finding the missing Oddish, noting they seem healthy and asking the twerps if they are responsible for that? Ash and Misty happily take credit for Brock's word, and then Steven explains the reasoning behind two warring Pokemon factions. It seems that this area is a natural breeding ground for Grass Type, Oddish in particular. The trouble is, the Oddish evolve into Gloom, and the Gloom then evolve into either Vileplume or Bellossom, and these two groups are apparently at war with each other over territory. As they reach Steven's small lab/cottage, Brock notes that it is strange to see both Vileplume and Bellossom together, noting that they only evolve due to exposure to a particular type of stone - a Sunstone or a Leafstone. This is branching evolution, a concept that confuses (and probably infuriates) Ash, but the question still remains, why are some Gloom evolving into Vileplume and others into Bellossom? Where are the stones necessary to make it happen?
Steven replies ominously that the stones are in the wind, then points out his weathervane which shows a sudden gust of Northeast Wind. He predicts this means Vileplume evolution is about to happen and.... he's right! A couple of Glooms sleeping in the sun suddenly evolve into Vileplumes and rush happily off together. Steven explains that he believes northeasterly winds contain tiny amounts of leafstone and north-westerly wins have tiny amounts of sunstone. This means that when the wind blows in a certain direction, there is a good chance the Gloom will evolve into one or the other branching evolutions. This is also having the unfortunate effect of creating a territorial imbalance, with the Vileplume and Bellossom fighting amongst themselves for land.
As they watch, two groups of Vileplume and Bellossom face off again, smashing into each other and letting loose a blast of Stun Spore. Ash panics while Steven grabs some lab masks out of his "Michael Jackson disguise kit" and hands them out to the twerps, and once he has one on, Ash sends Bayleef (also wearing a mask!) into battle. It separated the warring groups with Razor Leaf, and then maintains their distance with Vine Whip.
Unable to fight, the two groups leave with distrustful glances back at each other, while Steven laments that the fighting is causing the most important group to leave in large numbers. The Oddish that set off the whole evolutionary process are clearing out, which may mean that soon the land is entirely empty of any Pokemon.
Meanwhile, we find our beloved Team Rocket not doing nuttin to nobody. Settled down on a blanket, they're having themselves a picnic! James and Meowth are excited at what kind of spread Jesse might have for them (GETCHA MINDS OUTTA DA GUTTA!) and she warns them to be grateful for what they have as they all open little boxes and grab out what seem to be little crackers/sandwiches. But before they can eat, they hear/feel a rumbling and cast their eyes about uneasily, finding their picnic area flanked by two lines of ferocious looking Pokemon gangs - one of Vileplumes, the other of Bellossoms.
As the two lines roar towards each other, Jesse and James leap up and try to cheese it, running into each other and running against each other, not getting anywhere in the process.
Meowth, for whatever reason, just runs back and forth in complete panic.
The two gangs smash together around Team Rocket, letting loose bursts of Stun Spore that send Jesse and James dropping to the floor like a co-ed at a frat party who didn't keep a close eye on her drink. The rumble moves along away from the collapsed Jesse and James as Meowth uncurls from his foetal position and sniffs the air carefully, asking what the smell is. Jesse and James - frozen in place by the Stun Spore - manage to mutter out what is probably a childhood rhyme, reminding Meowth that the only cure for stun spore (outside of time) is Salveo Weed. He heads off to find some, finding to his convenience.... a convenience store!
Of rather, Steven's lab, which Meowth sneaks into through an open window. He looks about at all of the various drugs and chemicals Steven has, and spots some Salveo Weed tablets in a container which he grabs and successfully steals.
A member of the Team Rocket trio finally stole something!
He gets back to Jesse and James - who have fallen asleep - and feeds them some tablets, and they're instantly up and stretching happily, while Meowth mutters they were less annoying when they were asleep. But that is that, and now the time has come for revenge!
Well, not really, since neither Jesse or James think the Boss will have any need or desire for Bellossom or Vileplume. But Meowth has other ideas, as we are treated to yet another patented crazy Meowth Giovanni fantasy.
We see Giovanni awaken from his bed, Bellossom at the foot of his bed dancing. He pulls his robe tight and declares in a suspiciously Meowth-like voice,"Wot a delight tah awaken too!"
He walks out into his garden, surrounded by Vileplume, as well as Oddish and Gloom which are "festive but immobile" and declares, "For having bought me all of dese Pokemon, Meowth and his friends are truly model members of Team Rocket!"
Well that crazy, rambling, incoherent series of words convinced Jesse and James, and they agree to go along.
Meanwhile Steven has taken the twerps back to the big tree, explaining that this is the source of all of the fighting. No, it isn't a tree heavy with the Dark Side of The Force, but it is so big that it casts a shadow over sections of the territory at different times of the day. Because the Bellossom need sunlight, they move when the shadow falls on them, which brings them into conflict with the Vileplume. Because they need the sun and there is no way known in the entire world to cut down a tree, it seems the battles are set to go on forever.
As they talk, the wind shifts against, causing the creation of more Bellossom which happily skip to join their kindred, then turn in hive-mind rage on some nearby Vileplume and attack viciously. Steven explains that whichever sides gets new members usually kicks off the next fight, but that becomes a secondary consideration when more Stun Spore kicks up. Ash isn't concerned though, he and Bayleef already have masks on and thanks to the power of stock footage, they're able to travel back in time and repeat their earlier performance clearing the two opposing factions aside.
As they storm off angrily, Misty notices a small group of sad looking Vileplume and Bellossom standing together and smiles, saying she wishes more could learn from their lesson that you can get on together.
....... what's the bet they get on because they have freaky branched evolution sex?
Meanwhile, Team Rocket is arguing about the best way to capture all of the Pokemon. Meowth thinks they should build a giant Bellossom robot and capture the Bellossom, while James argues that it would be better to get a giant Vileplume robot and capture all of the Vileplume. Jesse roars that she has to be the smart one; the obvious choice is to build a REALLY big robot and capture ALL of the Pokemon!
But before anything can be built, the tell-tale rumbling of opposing Pokemon factions gets their attention and they turn to see they're stuck in the middle of a warzone once against. They find themselves smashed into and smacked around as Wobbuffet happily salutes from one side of the camera, then finds itself dragged into the battle as well.
While Team Rocket is dragged into a war they never made, the twerps are trying to figure out how to interfere in nature and NOT make forward progress towards Blackthorn City. As they discuss plans around Steven's table (Pikachu gets a seat but Bayleef doesn't, because Ash is A RACIST!), Steven notes that a bad storm is coming. How bad? Well according to his computer it is so bad that a big red arrow is on the screen!
That's bad!
According to the computer, the storm will not bring much rain with it, but it WILL bring heavy winds, and it'll be coming from the northeast. That means that the Vileplumes will quickly outnumber the Bellossom, but he notes with a slight pause, maybe that isn't such a bad thing. Misty is horrified at this idea (Steven seems more like Sebastian than ever) but he points out that if one side can get superior numbers over the other, it can drive the other one away and there won't be any more fighting.
Yay for genocide!
That night the storm comes, and it is a doozy. Winds howl around Steven's little cottage as the twerps stand inside watching through the window. They see the various Grass Pokemon huddled up for warmth and safety, and watch as specks of stone fall on a grouping of Gloom, making then evolve immediately into Vileplume. The new Vileplume smile in delight, apparently brought into the group-think immediately as they rush out into the wind to find their brethren.
But their numerical supremacy is short-lived, as the wind suddenly changes and suddenly Gloom are evolving into Bellossom, which all instantly embrace the same hive-mind mentality and rush off to join their army's ranks. The wind shifts and changes in different reactions, and Vileplume and Bellossom evolve in fairly equal numbers, creating a whole new problem. The armies are still equal, but now they're a shitload bigger!
With the storm over, the twerps head out and find two long lines of Vileplume and Bellossom angrily facing off, ready to fight once again. Ash sends Pikachu and the Oddish off, then throws his mask on again (and puts one on Bayleef) before ordering it to keep them separate yet again. Before he can though, a bomb flies through the air and crashes between the two lines of Pokemon, kicking up smoke. The twerps are shocked and demand to know what is going on.
"Prepare for trouble, funny you should ask!" laughs Jesse.
"And make it double, in a groovy gas mask!" adds James.
"To protect the world from devastation!"
"To unite all peoples within our nation!"
"To denounce the evils of truth and love!"
"To extend our reach to the stars above!"
"Jesse!" cries Jesse, holding a rose to her gas-masked face.
"James!" adds James, holding a rose to his gas-masked face..... with flamboyant Dame Edna glasses slapped over the top!
"Team Rocket blasts off at the speed of light!"
"Surrender now, or prepare to fight!"
"Meowth, Dat's right!" laughs Meowth.
James warns the twerps to be aware of their.... Vileplume of Doom Robot! Behind him appears a black-metal, sinister looking Vileplume Robot.... but when Ash repeats the name, James sadly admits they don't have one. But then Meowth warns the twerps to beware of.... The Bellossom Wrangler Robot! Behind him appears a sinister, black-metal Bellossom Robot.... but when Ash repeats the name Meowth sadly states they don't have that, either. But then Jesse laughs that he should be careful of their Multiflexible Digital Analogue Device, and reveals that they DO have that, it's a.....
It's a big sack.
Oh my.
But as Team Rocket have been boasting of robots they don't have (don't be so smug, Gentle Dodgers, you don't have giant killer robots either) the two lines of Pokemon have grown tired of waiting and are ready to attack. They charge in as Jesse, James and Meowth eagerly handle their sack (!) and wait for them to run straight into the bag.
Misty cries out that they have to do SOMETHING but Brock suggests maybe not, maybe the best thing to do is.... nothing. Steven agrees, it seems that all of their efforts to prevent the fighting may simply have been delaying the inevitable; they have to see the truth for themselves.
Inside the battle (which Meowth got knocked out of almost immediately) Jesse and James are trying to grab Pokemon, but they haven't been able to get a hold of anything so far. Stun Spore is firing about all over the place, but luckily for them they have their gas masks..... except for one problem, they're the types of masks that are supposed to be hooked up to air tanks, and they aren't actually connected. Twitching as the Stun Spore begins to affect them, to collapse to the ground, two more casualties of war.
The battle continues on, but grows less and less until finally both sides are left lying on their backs, panting and bruised and battered.... but no closer to victory than before. The twerps point out to the smashed Pokemon that all that fighting didnıt get them anywhere, pointing out the bystander Vileplume and Bellossom are suffering the same pain because they decided to get along with each other. But then Meowth crawls up beside the twerps and points out that they're, well... WRONG!
Yep, Meowth can speak Pokemon after all, and he reveals that the real reason that the unhurt Vileplume didn't fight is because when they were Glooms they wanted to evolve into Bellossom. The reason the unhurt Bellossom didn't fight is because when they were Glooms they wanted to evolve into Vileplume. They're not fighting, because they dig the other side!
RACE TRAITORS!
Steven is surprised to hear that Pokemon actually have an opinion over what they eventually evolve into (wow, way to condescend to living, intelligent creatures, asshat) while Ash argues that it wasn't a mistake that they evolved the way they did, they were DESTINED to evolve how they did.
Before anyone can ask him to explain the reasoning behind this sudden proclamation, they hear the sound of struggling Pokemon and turn to see Jesse and James struggling to shove Pokemon into their bag. Having used Salveo Weed pills to recover from the Stun Spore (if they were stunned, how did they take pills?) they're not trying to take advantage of the weak Pokemon to make a killing.
The battered Pokemon stagger up and try to use Stun Spore on Jesse and James, but they've put their gas masks back on AND hooked them up this time, rendering them impervious. What the fail to take into account though when they send Arbok and Victreebell into the fray, is that they haven't supplied gas masks for their Pokemon! Essentially defenceless against everything but Stun Spore now, Team Rocket (including Meowth who actually HELPED!) are sent blasting off again.
With Team Rocket dispatched and the Pokemon convinced that they can live together (they'll just have to get used to being crowded when the sun lies on a particular patch of land), the twerps head off once again for Blackthorn, happy that they've solved what seemed to be an unsolvable problem.
Who wants to bet how long until one side starts using suicide bombers?
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