235: Nice Pryce Baby!
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Nice Pryce Baby
Ash ties his shoes, grunting from the mental effort as Pikachu shouts encouragement. Misty says Ash looks excited (well yeah, he just tied his own shoelaces!) and Brock asks if Ash has a strategy for facing Pryce's Pokemon. Ash does indeed, in fact he claims it is a no-brainer, since Bryce uses Ice-Types, he'll use Fire Types.... Cyndaquil!
Misty points out that Bruce's Pokemon are VERY strong, and Ash declares that is nothing to worry about, since he has a perfect plan of attack! However, his confidence fades when Misty asks what that plan actually entails and he mumbles and urrrrr's, the colour leaking out of him as Brock notes that maybe the details aren't that important.
Inside the Gym, Sheila arrives and discovers Pryce happily brushing Piloswine inside the ice coated Gym. Sheila is surprised to discover he has been there all night without a coat and says she is cold just from being there a few moments (despite the extra layer of blubber she has) and Pryce starts waffling on about how Piloswine spent years in ice, and he wants to discover a oneness with Piloswine and....
Oh lordy, he REALLY loves Piloswine, he loved him all niiiiight long!
Ash arrives and tells Pryce he is ready to challenge for the Glacier Badge, and Pryce gives him a much friendlier greeting than yesterday. Watching from outside are Team Rocket, who are shocked to discover the "little old man" they so casually dismissed yesterday (before he blew them the fuck out of the sky) is the Mahogany Gym Leader. James declares that if he had known his battle techniques would have been completely different (he would have just turned and run away?). They decide to sneak inside and take a look around, Jesse saying (as her skirt clutches lovingly to her crotch) that inside will be pulsating with piles of perfectly plump Pokemon. Meowth pops his head over the wall while sitting on James' head and spots a large number of Ice Pokemon that he hopes to convert to cash.
Inside Pryce shows off the Gym Battlefield, which is solid ice with a pool of cold water in the middle, and Ash starts to realise that this might not be so easy after all. Pryce asks if he is ready and Ash ignores his own moment of doubt to declare he is ready all right, for his first move, he chooses..... and then Brock causes him to fall over as he calls a halt, pointing out there is one there to act as Judge.
Sheila begins laughing then, laughing like the horrifically naked old lady in The Shining, then steps up on the Judge platform and says she doesn't like to toot her own horn....
But no one else will, right fellas? Boom boom!
....but she tears off her clothing (OH JESUS GOD NO RUN JACK NICHOLSON! RUN!) to reveal a pink uniform, as she holds up a green and red flag and reveals she is an Official Johto League AAA Judge.
It seems she has someplace to be when the boys don't call.
She explains the rules - each trainer can use two Pokemon and the challenger is allowed to use a substitute Pokemon when necessary, but the Gym Leader is not - and Ash's Seventh Gym Badge Battle begins!
Pryce chooses Dewgong first, the ugly and irritating Pokemon leaping into the pool as Ash calls out Cyndaquil, a pick which doesn't exactly surprise Pryce. Cyndaquil uses Flamethrower but Dewgong ducks under the water (for some reason, this entirely reasonable evasion shocks and surprises the twerps) and retaliates with Ice Beam. Cyndaquil attempts to dodge but slips over on the ice and gets hit, getting frozen in the process. Pryce moves quickly to end things by having Dewgong use Aurora Beam, but then Ash orders Cyndaquil to put its flames up to full force, breaking it free of the ice and dodging the beam.
Pryce congratulates him on his clever thinking and then shows he has none of his own, having Dewgong use Aurora Beam again. Cyndaquil dodges and tries Flamethrower, causing Dewgong to leap back into the water, as was to be expected. But Ash was hoping this would happen, and surprisingly orders Cyndaquil to follow it into the lake with a Quick attack. Misty and Brock are uncertain if this is a good idea as Cyndaquil turns off its flames and lands in the water, Dewgong moving in for a Headbutt. Brock and Misty are concerned, but this is just what Ash planned (wow! the boy used strategy!) and it uses Swift to smack Dewgong back, then Flamethrower to finish things off. Dewgong crashes out of the lake and onto the ground where it lies still, unable to back up and.... Ash wins the first round!
Brock belatedly explains to Misty what Ash's strategy was as Pryce calls back Dewgong and congratulates it on getting its ass kicked underwater by a fire Pokemon, then comments that he now sees for such unconventional attacks to work, a trainer and Pokemon must have complete trust in each other. It is a far cry from the bitter old man from a couple of episodes ago, but that doesn't meant he has gone soft. He calls out Piloswine and an eager Ash sends Cyndaquil into the fray.
Outside, Team Rocket are also eager, preparing to snatch Pryce's Ice-Type Pokemon outside the Gym, noting there are a huge number of Pokemon there. So many, in fact, that Jesse thinks they might just keep aside a portion for themselves.... the ones they like best, in fact. What will they do with them? Well they'll set up an ice-cream slurpee business that will involve Jesse wearing a bikini (already a GREAT idea!) on Cyanwood Beach. That will be their first shop, and then they'll open more and more until they cover the globe and crush the competition! Then they'll have so much money that they'll have paid the Boss back with plenty more aside, and he'll be so impressed that he'll move them to the tip-top of the team!
"Out of the red, into the black!" gasps James in delight, after Meowth has gone wobbly-eyed with joy, and they all cry together, "I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice-cream!"
Meowth slaps a net over his shoulder and leaps eagerly, gleefully out of the bushes, running across the ice and slipping over as he realises the ice is... well.... slippery! He trips directly into a Seel's face, which glares at him menacingly as Meowth gasps that it looks just like Jesse in the morning!
We then get a horrifying shot of Jesse in a nighty and cloth cap looking horrific, before the real deal growls angrily at Meowth as James points out that she is a bit cranky before her first coffee.... and then all of the surrounding Ice Pokemon roar with anger at the intruders and blast them with a variety of powerful Icebeams.
Inside Cyndaquil and Piloswine face off, Brock noting that it will have the same problem as Dewgong did in the pool... what will Pryce's strategy be? Cyndaquil tries a Flamethrower but Piloswine uses a Blizzard, knocking visibility to Zero as Pryce orders Piloswine to use Takedown, and it smashes into Cyndaquil and knocks it onto its back.... and out of nowhere Sheila declares it unable to battle!
Ummm, it's still moving and talking, it just happens to be on its back!
Brock and Misty ignore this blatant bit of crooked officiating though, more concerned with trying to figure out how Piloswine used Takedown with a pool in the middle of the ice... and then the blizzard clears to show the pool has been covered over. Ash calls Cyndaquil back, congratulating it on its quick assbeating, then sends in Pikachu which instantly uses Agility. Pryce orders a fury attack but Pikachu dodges the move, and then tries for a Thunderbolt, but unfortunately slips on the ice. It tries to recover by using Agility, but continues to slip on the ice. Piloswine charges at Pikachu who barely dodges in time, the Piloswine smashing through an icy outcropping. Piloswine uses Blizzard again and Pikachu charges it, using Thunderbolt on the massive, mammoth, tusked guinea pig. Smoke is kicked up by the attack, and when it clears.... Piloswine roars with delight, completely unhurt. Ash wonders what his next move will be as Pikachu slides ass first into an Ice Pillar... and that gives the dim boy something he usually only gets while battling.... an idea! Ash tells Pikachu to use Agility and everyone figures he is a moron for not figuring out the ice is slippery, but apparently Pikachu picked up on Ash's unspoken idea. Now, when Piloswine tries an Ice Beam, Pikachu slides on its ass under both the attack AND Piloswine. Piloswine tries more Ice Beams, but Pikachu slides this way and that, the Ice Pillars getting covered with more and more ice. Piloswine tries Blizzard but Pikachu slides directly underneath it, grabs it by the short and curlies and then lets rip with a massive burst of Thunder. Piloswine roars in pain (maybe more from being grabbed by the pubes than anything) and it seems Ash has hit on a strategy that works. But Pryce recovers quickly, ordering Piloswine to use Rest, which means it can regain its lost energy. But Ash notes that this will only happen is he lets it happen, and tells Pikachu to use Quick Attack.... well, quickly!
But unluckily for Ash, Piloswine has already recovered its full energy and it smashes into Pikachu with Fury Attack, smacking Pikachu around with its tusks before using Takedown and sending the rodent flying. Brock wonders if Pikachu has the strength to keep going as it is knocked aside, and Pryce asks if Ash if he wants to give up now. Ash asks Pikachu if it is okay and it staggers back to its feet and sets itself grimly. Taking this as a yes, Ash sends it back in while Pryce quietly admires his courage (well.... it's easy to be courageous when you're not the one fighting a giant tusked guinea pig) but notes that a wise trainer would know when to give up.
Piloswine tries Fury Attack again but Pikachu headbutts directly into it then hits a full power Thunderbolt at close range that..... doesn't seem to do anything! Piloswine reacts with a Takedown, and instead of telling Pikachu to run, Ash tells it to get in close and hit with another Thunder. This time something DOES happen, though not directly to Piloswine. The frozen over ice-pool cracks open and Piloswine plunges into the water with a roar. It pulls out roaring in fury and gets hit with a full blast of Thunderbolt. The mammoth Guinea Pig - soaking wet and ultra conductible - quivers in pain, then lets loose a roar and recovers fully using Rest.
Ash is - understandably - frustrated but says Piloswine won't stay charged up for long and sends Pikachu in again. But Pikachu gets smacked around by another Fury Attack as Sheila watches grimly, and Ash roars for Pikachu to get back on the offensive with another Thunder. Smoke explodes from the Thunder Attack and Pikachu is blown back by the backlash, Ash asking it if it is okay as Brock says Pikachu looks exhausted.... and Piloswine looks fine. Pikachu staggers to its feet, sways, and then looks grimly ready to continue....
"HOLD IT!" roars Pryce, and a towel sails into the battlefield..... Pryce has thrown in the towel and given Ash a victory by Technical Knock Out!
Ash.... wins?
Sheila cries out that Pryce has surprised her again by giving up the victory in Piloswine's best interest, and then Pryce hands a confused Ash the Glacier Badge. Ash stammers that he didn't actually win, but Sheila tells him that he did.... it was clear to everyone that he knew what he was doing and deserved to win, and Pryce agrees, telling him that he deserves that badge.
Finally getting excited, Ash holds the Glacier Badge tightly as Misty and Brock approach, telling him that he now only has one badge left to go....
Oh thank you Jesus!
....which he can get at Blackthorn City.
As the sun begins to set, Pryce congratulates Ash again as he, Brock and Misty prepare to head off for Blackthorn City. They leave behind them an old man with a melted heart, a giant tusked guinea pig, a well insulated lady and.... unbeknown to them all.... Team Rocket!
Yes they're still frozen in a block of ice, Jesse moaning that she has calculated that the sun should melt them out in roughly five days. James snaps that this proves what he always knew, she IS an Ice Queen....
Random Crazed Rocketshipper: OMG HE SEZ SHE IS DA QUEEN WOT MELTED HIS HART!
....and Meowth grunts that with the hot air they both generate, they should be melted out already, a statement that a frozen Wobbuffet seems to agree happily with.
So there you have it, Gentle Dodgers, Ash has FINALLY won his seventh Gym Badge. It's just a shame that he got given it out of pity, when Pryce realised that he had to throw in the towel and kill a 10 year old boy's best friend.
A best friend that also happens to be a rat.
Make of that, what you will.
| BEST QUOTES |
 "Something tells me that Pryce wasn't right."
 "The ice pokémon gravy train awaits."
"Come on now, you know you are a bit cranky before that first cup of coffee."
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