225: Extreme Pokémon
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Oh, not Mahogany Town, but a place called Exeter. Once again we are cruelly taunted by the spectre of forward progress, only to have it cruelly dashed away as the twerps decide to stop and see the sights of the town. But first, Misty wants to go to a restaurant, and Ash agrees with her, until an Arcanine roars by on a leash dragging behind it..... MOTHERFUCKING GARY!
Ash is shocked and delighted, Gary! It's his old rival and that can only mean one thing, he must battle him!
And Gary declines.
Gary explains to a horrified Ash that he simply can't risk his Arcanine in a battle and then simply takes off, the twerps chasing (surely Gary just horribly mangled the words, "Sure Ash, let's POKEMON BATTLE!") him over a hill to see other Pokemon dragging skateboarding humans around by leashes. All three think that that it looks dangerous, but an angry Ash says it is more dangerous for the trainers than the humans.
Hell Ash, don't worry, they're.....
Extreme Pokemon!
An unknown time later, we find the twerps inside Exeter itself finishing off their meal. But for once Ash couldn't eat, still worried about the Pokemon he saw earlier. Gary had forced Arcanine to wear a collar, which Ash can't believe.... though Brock points out that Arcanine didn't seem to mind. At that point, a creepy moustached paedophile tells them it is perfectly fine, they call them Extreme Pokemon and it's the most popular sport in Exeter. He tells them (uninvited) that the sport is based on old times when people used Pokemon to get around, and racing is the big attraction in this little hick town, with the culmination of the year's racing coming at tomorrow¹s big race. People come from miles around to see it, and Brock and Misty wonder if Gary will win, but Ash declares he won't.... because he's going to enter!
Brock and Misty remind him he has neither the equipment, experience, training nor practise that the others do (NOT TO MENTION THE QUICKLY IMPENDING JOHTO LEAGUE) and Ash finds himself momentarily deflated. But the weirdo with the moustache appears to have been impressed by Ash's words (as judged by one arm hiding in his lap beneath the bench) and says if Ash is still eager, he might be able to lend a hand.
He takes them on a Tauros drawn wagon to a secret location, the twerps riding in the hay pile in the back as he introduces himself as Shelby, explaining he runs a day-care centre for Pokemon.
Gee.... and we thought he was a paedo!
Misty spots baby Wooper in a nearby lake and thinks they're cute, and they pass multiple Pokemon Day-care Centres as Shelby explains that Extreme Pokemon got its start when it was harder to get from place to place and people used Pokemon as transport.
They arrive at the Shelby's Day-care, where Mrs Shelby is polishing an egg which she puts aside on a shelf others to greet them. Shelby leaves the room and then returns carrying a baby Sentret in his arms only two days old, and then a bunch of other baby Pokemon run in.
Misty kneels down to giggle at the cutes, while Shelby invites Ash outside and shows him his old racing gear - a leash, collar and skateboard.
Sure Shelby, you used it for racing.
Ash stares at the cruel implements that earlier created feelings of rage within him, and.... promptly they're forgotten!
Yes just like that Ash is an eager advocate of Extreme Pokemon, and he quickly begins practising while Shelby watches him playing around with the leash and collar.
How could we have ever thought he was a paedo!
Ash explains that he used to mountain board on the mountains around Pallet on a shitty piece of wood (maybe his Mum would send him out after Professor Oak would just "happen" to show up?). But Ash's confidence is quickly shaken and he panics when he realises he is losing control, falls off and begins rolling towards a rock and certain doom (unless he lucks out and hits headfirst).... when Arcanine dives in his way and cushions his landing. Gary shows up and asks Ash if he has finally lost it, then sees the skateboard and a wide grin splits his face, he should have known that Ash couldn't resist the challenge!
Pleased that he once again gets a chance to humiliate his younger Uncle, Gary heads off as the other twerps join Ash along with Shelby and tell him that he can only use one Pokemon while behind them Pikachu eagerly practises on the skateboard. They tell him that strength is paramount as Ash looks at his delighted Pikachu, and he breaks its little heart by telling it sorry, then thinks about Cyndaquil (too small), Totodile (too insane) and then settles on the perfect Pokemon - Bayleef!
He sets too practising with his lusty Latin Pokemon while they are watched from afar by - who else? Team Rocket!
Or rather, Meowth, who watches through binoculars then turns to see that Jesse and James are taking naps. He wakes them angrily and they join him in watching Ash practise, James grabbing out a brochure about the Extreme Pokemon competition. Meowth realises the twerp is competing, and that means that there are going to be fast and strong Pokemon swarming the area tomorrow. James and Meowth think they should capture them all, but Jesse says they won't be greedy, they'll just grab one, the first place winner!
As Team Rocket plot their nefarious deeds, back at the day-care Brock displays bizarre behaviour as he eats some of the Pokemon's food while Shelby's wife sits with a Teddiursa in her lap, the little bear watching in horror as Brock eats its food.
Meanwhile, Ash keeps training with Bayleef, when suddenly Mr Shelby steps out of the bushes and declares he has something to show him.
How could anyone ever think he was a paedo!
He hands Ash a practise egg, which he will apparently have to carry during tomorrow¹s race. They head off to practise some more, Shelby watching with pride (maybe it's pride that makes his pants tent up?).
The next day the contest begins, the announcer saying the winner will receive a golden Pokeball trophy. He explains the course will move through to the Shelby ranch, and then contestants are free to choose their own route back to the starting point, with the first back winning. Gary says he will wait for Ash at the finish line by Ash says it won't happen, and they they're off..... and there's a crash!
Unlike Nascar, however, this isn't a boring race where people only show up to see violent crashes, and everyone is quite upset. A number of Pokemon and their trainers are dealt a heavy blow as they stumble over each other and let the frontrunners pull further ahead.... and they include Gary and Ash!
Gary and Arcanine speed up to the lead, but Ash and Bayleef quickly catch up while Brock and Misty watch on the big screen from the stand. Gary pours on some more speed and pulls ahead of Ash, whose Bayleef struggles to keep up, and they are watched not just by the people in the crowd, but also from above by two people and a Meowth from their Happy Buddha Face Meowth Balloon. They declare that Arcanine is clearly the one they want (Maybe James shouldn't have left his Growlithe with his parents then!) and they fire a net cannon which catches Arcanine and leaves Gary lying moaning, wondering what the hell just happened.
"Prepare for trouble, up, up and away!"
"Make it double, it's not a cliche!"
"To protect the world from devastation."
"To unite all peoples within our nation!"
"To denounce the evils of truth and love!"
"To extend our reach to the stars above!"
"Jesse."
"James."
"Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light!"
"Surrender now or prepare to fight, fight, fight!"
"Daaat's right!"
"Wooooo-Buh-Fett!"
Team Rocket floats away, Gary chasing as Ash and Bayleef promise to catch them. He keeps up with the balloon somehow. then orders Bayleef to stop and turn which sends him flying up over a rock, through the air and crashing into the balloon, his skateboard puncturing it (apparently Shelby kept it sharpened for some sinister reason).
At the Shelby ranch, they look up in time to see the balloon drop and crash into the camera-stand outside, cutting off the television feed. The old paedo and his wife are confused, and then Ash crawls out from beneath the balloon looking for Arcanine which also emerges, shaking itself free. Ash explains it was Team Rocket trying to capture Arcanine, and Jesse emerges moaning that they didn't just try, they did do it! although Meowth notes that it was only for a little while. Wobbuffet pops out to agree happily, holding an egg up, and when Jesse and Meowth ask what it is, James comes happily skipping along holding two baskets of eggs.
"A tiskit, a tasket," he sings happily, "A Pokemon Egg Basket!"
Ash says the eggs are precious and for the Shelbys to take care of, and Meowth laughs they'll take them and then when they hatch they'll be theirs (and wear sunglasses too!)
Arbok menaces Ash, but then Bayleef arrive at the ranch and uses Razorleaf to try and take it down. Arbok fires through with Poison Sting, and then tries to follow through with Bite, but is smashed with a Take-Down from Arcanine at Gary's order. Team Rocket decide to "scramble" with the eggs, but Bayleef grabs at the egg-baskets with Vine Whip, then Arcanine hits them with a flaming Tackle and sends Team Rocket blasting off again, moaning that they put all their eggs in one basket again!
Gary thanks Ash for his help, and Ash thanks him then says it is time to get back to the race as behind them the other frontrunners start to catch up to them. Shelby gives them their dummy eggs, and Gary once again takes the lead with Ash a short way behind and back into view of the cameras once more. Arcanine speeds up and Ash and Bayleef once again find themselves struggling to keep even as they hit the narrowest part of the trail, where Pokemon MUST go one at a time..... until Ash spots a shortcut. Gary looks behind him and doesn't see Ash, mistakenly thinking he must have lost him, and then Ash and Bayleef leap a sloping rock from above and to the side and land right next to Gary. They both rush down the home stretch and call for their Pokemon to throw it all in as they race neck and neck in a dead heat, Ash and Gary gritting their teeth as Arcanine dives for the goal and Bayleef slaps its own ass with Vine whip (HAHA!) and....... WINS!
Ash beat Gary! GARY GOT BEATEN BY HIS YOUNGER UNCLE!
Yes it's true, Ash has once again shown up out of nowhere and defeated old timers, long standing competitors with tons of experience AND his older nephew! It must surely rankle the contest organiser as he hands Ash the Golden Pokeball Trophy and Bayleef a medal while Gary looks on in surprise, then just grins.
At least he's hit puberty!
Later that night the twerps say their goodbyes to Gary, who says he has no regrets, telling Ash he'll see him at Johto. Gary walks away as Ash waves, then the Shelbys show up with a "special" Pokemon egg in a glass container with a small Pokeball on top. The Shelbys say the Pokemon inside will be a surprise and they should use the Pokeball to catch it when it hatches, and the twerps head off again on their meandering way to Mahogany Town.
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