215: Plant it Now...Diglett Later
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THEY LOST!
Yes Ash lost the Whirl Cup, so did Misty, and they leave Scarlet City as losers.... LOSERS! They head towards Transit Town where they hope to catch a ferry back to Olivine City and the quickly impending Johto league, where hopefully they'll do a fuck sight better.
Plant It Now... Diglett Later.
They walk through another Whirl Island, Ash hungry and Misty too. Brock says they're almost there and they ask how far, as Jesse watches from a cliff top with a smile. She turns and demands to know why Meowth and James aren't finished digging yet. They say she can help anytime, then finish digging and cover the hole up before hiding from the twerps in the bushes. A grumbling stomach almost gives them away, Meowth admitting it was him, and then the twerps step into the hole and collapse inside.
Ash wonders what is going on, though the others have already figured out it was Team Rocket, who are very proud as they rush towards the hole.... and fall into another one!
Meowth notes a mark of his face on the side of the hole and says that means it is one of theirs, then mimics the mark and asks isn't it a thing of beauty?
"Meowth, it's a thing of pity if you're asking me," James sighs.
Meowth explains they're constantly digging holes and thousands of years from now people will find these holes and his marks and become obsessed with him, put up golden statues of him and call the country Meowth Land. Well Jesse and James think that idea stinks (hey, at least it didn't involve Giovanni in a speedo) and they sit alongside the hole with the twerps. Ash asks who dug this hole if Team Rocket is in THEIR hole, and Jesse asks James if maybe him and Meowth were productive and dug two? Well that's just silly, of course!
Suddenly a Diglett appears through the hole, and a bunch appear beneath Team Rocket. A girl appears wearing a Diglett shirt and apologises to the twerps, and Brock rushes up the Diglett ladder provided and warmly tells her no apologies are necessary, and asks her name.
Her name is Rita and she has a twin sister called Sue who also warmly welcomes a gaping Brock.
"Woww.... double wow!" he proclaims, as the sisters note they had nothing to do with digging Team Rocket's hole, but they'll apologise anyway!
Once everyone is out, Team Rocket standing around looking a little confused, Misty asks Rita and Sue what they meant when they told them they had to dig their holes it was to protect them from people coming through their town. Rita says she will explain, but first she wants to see if they're Pokemon Experts.
Brock declares he is a breeder
A nice way of saying she also lost.
The girls say they need their expertise and say they'll even put on a banquet, and Jesse and Ash's growling stomachs cry out in acceptance. Everyone - twerps and Team Rocket including - proclaiming they'll do it before they even know what it is they're wanted to do!
They walk to the town, Pikachu accompanying the Digletts, and find the village a quaint little place. Inside a room a banquet is already laid out on the floor for them, and they prepare to dig in while weird people in masks dance around in the background. Jesse is ready to eat but Meowth and James are unsure, feasting with foes? Dining with the enemies? They then look at the twerps gobbling down their food, look at their own meals and wonder if they should just let it go... and then Jesse starts chowing down and Meowth and James quickly join in.
Soon they all lay on the floor groaning in contentment and a little agony too, having stuffed themselves beyond all reason. Jesse moans for a stretcher and someone to carry her, and James asks for an antacid. Rita offers to grab him one but Brock crawls to her in fear, asking if she is not sticking around? She explains she has to get home, but the Mayor will soon be joining them. The weird people in monster masks from earlier approach, one of them introducing himself as the Mayor of the little village before him and others pull off their masks.
"You're all so old," gasps Ash incredibly rudely, staring at the old men before him.
Apparently they are the Mayor and the town council, and one of them (sounding very Jewish) says they'd like to ask them for help now that they've stuffed their bellies with their food.... after all, how can they say no now they've eaten their food? Realising they've been backed into a corner by polite reciprocity, Ash agrees that of course they'll want to help them, and the Mayor explains they need a rocket.... A ROCKET!
"Then prepare for trouble!" cries Jesse.
"And then make it double!" adds James.
"To protect the world from devastation."
"To unite all peoples within our nation."
"To denounce the evils of truth and love."
"To extend our reach to the stars above."
"Jesse."
"James."
"Team Rocket blasts off at the speed of light,"
"Surrender now or prepare to fight, fight, fight!"
"Meowth! Dat's right!"
But no.... they didn't mean Rocket! Team Rocket and their imaginary rocketship explodes and the old men say they actually meant.... a racket! They appear in tennis clothes, squinting blearily about as they hold tennis rackets.....but no.... they didn't mean Racket! Maybe basket? no no, it's too late for a snack....
Jesse roars with fury, snapping that they said they needed help.... and the insult sparks the memory, they DO need help! But what kind of help? Well it is a little difficult to explain, so maybe if they show....
But then a voice calls out to the twerps not to listen to the old fools, and they turn to see through the window a man dressed like a cloaked samurai, his face masked as he sits on top of a Dodrio on the crest of a hill behind the house. He roars that if they listen to the old fools they'll be lead around in circles and end up as confused as they are. The twerps rush outside with Team Rocket and demand to know who this strange man with a mask like Shredder is.
"We're a band of Diglett thieves known as..... the band of Diglett thieves!" proclaims the unimaginative bandit as a group of other masked, cloaked samurai on Dodrio appear over the hillside behind him. The head bandit gravely proclaims that they used to be known by a more creative name, but the foolish old fogeys kept forgetting it!
The Bandit -explains that the Diglett evolve into Dugtrio which are the worldıs greatest earth diggers, so they show up every year and steal the Diglett, and they'll be back tomorrow! They ride off, the twerps noting with surprise that they're thieves that book in advance.... how considerate!
Back inside the Mayor explains the area is well known for Diglett and they have lived with them productively, the Diglett helping them farm their land and they in turn looking after the Diglett. But now with many of their children having left the town for the excitement and bright lights of the big city the old people are concerned they can't protect the Diglett from the bandits. They explain their strongest and healthiest Diglett are stolen by the Bandits which means they struggle to farm enough food to feed themselves, and explain that the banquet they just fed them may be the last meal they can put together if the twerps and Team Rocket don't help.... which would mean they were thankless and insensitive!
Oh old people and guilt!
James' eyebrow twitches and he leaps up holding his rose, declaring he's never heard such a thing! Meowth suggests he's heard it a million times but Jesse agrees with James that they may have their selfish moments, but they'd never fail to help out old people who gave them a good meal! Meowth insists though, saying sometimes they eat and run, and an angry Jesse smacks him in the head. James roars that the rose in his hand symbolises the red blood that flows through them all, and it knows neither good nor evil! Sure he is a member of Team Rocket but he is also a Pokemon Trainer with a burning desire to help his fellow man.
"I will rise to the call of the rose within my heart and do whatever is need or me.... or at least give it his best shot!" he proclaims.
Misty is astonished he is going to help just because they feed them, but how can they do any less when Team Rocket have shown them up, so they agree to help. Jesse says she is with James and Meowth shakes his head sadly.
Soon we find Team Rocket and Twerps standing in a command tent dressed in camouflage gear, James pointing to a map showing the location of themselves and the Diglett Thieves. He notes that they number at least 50 while they, at last count, consisted of 20 senior citizens, three members of Team Rocket and three twerps, making a total of 26.
Brock says they shouldn't fight head on, and James agrees, explaining that tonight they must put aside their differences and take part in a mission known as "No, no, Dodrio". Misty thinks it sounds dangerous and James admits it is, and the three randomly selected people to go on the mission will need to be brave.... the three selected of course, being the twerps!
You don't make General without breaking a few heads. Jesse asks when the twerps were chosen for the mission and he explains to her that it was the moment the mission became scary. The twerps find nothing wrong with this, and all salute and then head out (now out of the camouflage gear that might have actually helped them), Jesse saying she feels sorry for sending them off to danger while they stay behind and relax. But James isn't planning on relaxing; barking out orders as he proclaims the next part of the plan is to use the Diglett to create an impenetrable pitfall ring around the village.
They quickly round up to populace and set to work with the senior citizens helping, Jesse surprised at the energy levels of the "old duffers." An old lady standing behind Jesse grins, saying, "Ehhh those young'uns are in their prime, I'm 120!"
"No?" gasps Jesse in astonishment, "That's ten times my age!"
"Now where did ya learn dat Math?" asks Meowth as he crawls out of a hole, and Jesse snaps at him to get back to digging. James is still digging himself, and wonder how the twerpy troops are doing.
Well they're in the home of the bandits - who appear to live in a nice quaint little town of their own - and sneak along the walls, noticing the Bandit Leader who they figure is guarding the Dodrio pen (makes sense that the leader of the gang would pull guard duty).
Pikachu notices something and gets their attention, and when Ash looks around he sees Sue talking to the ringleader! But then Rita notices them and asks what they're doing, and when they try to run the ringleader approaches menacingly, before a smiling Rita pops up behind them and cheerfully says they're the helpers from before.
Suddenly the Bandits demeanour changes and he apologises before pulling off his mask to reveal a pleasant looking middle aged man with a handlebar moustache! He explains it is difficult to see with the mask on, and the twerps look on in horror, what the fuck is going on?
Digletts pop up in the ground as the Bandit explains everything to them; the "bandits" are the children of the old folks in the village. It seems that when the old folks settled this island it was a tough, desert-like terrain that they struggled to farm. With help from the Diglett they made a go of it, fighting off Diglett thieves trying to make off with their friends and farm-hands. The island was transformed into a paradise the talk of the Whirl Islands, and when their children grew they wanted to reward their parents by making a beautiful luxury resort/retirement home that was the equal of any four star resort (the cheap bastards wouldn't fork out for that fifth star). But the old folks wanted nothing to do with it, they believed that the key to their longevity was working on the land and protecting their Digletts. So the children allowed their parents to stay in their homes and farms, but in order to keep them on their toes they began dressing up as the long gone Diglett Thieves and "raiding" the farms.
The twerps say they wished they'd known this before but the "Bandit Leader" explains they can't let their parents know they're the ones behind this, and so didn't say anything to them. But they've taken all precautions to make sure no one will get hurt and plan to leave the Dodrio behind on tomorrow's raid, and hell Pikachu can go ahead and blast him full force if it wants. Ash is a little unsure about this, pointing out Pikachu is pretty powerful, but the "Bandit Leader" pops his Shredder Mask back on and insists, so Ash sends in Pikachu which Thunderbolts him hard.... and nothing happens. He pulls the mask off and grins, thumping his chest to show its metallic nature.
The next day James sees the thieves approaching with no Dodrio, and declares the twerps were successful in setting free the Dodrio. Jesse calls out to the old people to prepare for battle and they watch as the "bandits" charge. Two immediately fall into a pitfall, hitting a button on their belts as they fall that enables a soft cushiony landing. Others fall into holes as James watches, delighted, pleased his plans are working. Jesse calls out Arbok for help.... and gets Wobbuffet instead before being overrun by the "bandits" who begin "fighting" with the "old people".
Oops sorry, got used to using quotation marks there!
The twerps arrive on the scene - spotted by James in his tree-hut command post - and get in on the action, Ash sending in Cyndaquil which fires Flamethrower at a Bandit (who extinguishes the flames with water) while Misty's Poliwhirl blasts two bandits with Water Gun (the bandits using metallic shields to block the water). Other bandits are hauled away by Digletts, and the old people cheer as they see the bandits turning tail. Crobat uses Supersonic and a Bandit prepares to be confused and in pain despite wearing earmuffs, while the Mayor and his Number One struggle to listen to the high pitched sonic noise, then declare they always loved that song and start dancing!
"What old bats?" asks Misty with a grin, which is actually quite a horrible, mean-spirited thing to say....
Hooray!
The bandits hold up a white flag and declare they surrender, but promise they'll be back to steal the following year! Inside a hole one of the bandits affectionately pets a Diglett and tells it to give his love to Gramps. It seems that has all gone well, and then the one thing no one considered happens.
Team Rocket try to help!
Flying in on their Happy Buddha Face Meowth Balloon, they shout out that the bandits aren't going anywhere! They want to be sure those thieves never bother these nice old folks again and begin tossing down smoke bombs! The bandits rush off in horror and a startled Ash starts to call out to Team Rocket to cut it out, but Misty stops him, telling him that he'll ruin everything. The bandits call out to Ash they can protect themselves, but the problem is the Diglett! They react in fright to the smoke bombs and begin diving under the dirt, and Ash turns and stares at Team Rocket as he undergoes a horrible moral quandary. He calls out to Team Rocket who turn and spot him staring up at them, and they wonder what he wants.
To his credit, Ash actually looks embarrassed and regretful as he calls out Pikachu and blasts a shocked (literally!) Team Rocket, their smoke bombs exploding and sending them on a somewhat more astonished blasting off than usual!
Even when they do good, things turn out bad!
Later that day the old people say they feel sorry for those three Team Rockets, and the twerps crack jokes about brutally attempting to murder some people doing nice things. The old folks say they never expected to see "those three" take pity on them and help them with their plight, but they were proven wrong. For that they thank them, and the twerps as well, and offer what they can in gratitude.... a badge with the emblem of the Silver Wing on it!
The twerps are shocked, the Silver Wing! The old folks tell them they got it on another of the Whirl Islands and suggest they go check it out. The twerps consider this, perhaps they can finally discover something about that mysterious Pokemon from earlier?
So with the Whirl cup behind them and Olivine still ahead, they fail once again to make forward progress towards the quickly impending Johto League and instead head off to find a tenuous link that might or might not lead to a random Mysterious Pokemon.
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