212: Octillery the Outcast!
|
|
But sadly for all their talk, while today's adventure will see Ash and Misty make some forward progress towards the finals of the Whirl Cup League, it will be dominated by the strange, pathetic story of.....
Octillery The Outcast
Brock tells them they shouldn't argue over who is going to win when they still have the preliminary qualifying rounds to get through. Ash agrees, but insists that he can see his name on the trophy!
As they walk on up into the city, Team Rocket watch from afar and Jesse comments that the twerps are wasting their time on a worthless trophy. James suggests that with so many Water Pokemon Trainers in town, they should steal them all and open a Water Pokemon Park! Meowth agrees eagerly, saying that once the Boss sees the cash, they'll be promoted in a flash!
Inside the Pokemon Centre sign-ups are taking place for the Whirl Cup. Trainers queue and trade lies about how great they are, while the twerps stare in concern over the length of the line, full of potential competitors. Brock finally gets to the font of the line and declares his love to an obviously overworked and disinterested Nurse Joy who doesn't even register what he says, instead asking him if he is here to sign up for the League Tournament.
"WHY NO!" he proclaims, "I'm here to enter into a lifelong relationship with you! The girl of my drea...."
Misty knocks him aside with an angry glare and says she wants to register, and Ash pops his head in to say he wants to as well. They give their names and hometowns to Nurse Joy for registration (AND EVIL GOVERNMENT TRACKING) purposes, and Joy explains the way the League tournament works. They'll have to take part in preliminary qualifying rounds in different stadiums to get into the final 16, who will then face off in the actual Whirl League. When asked how many matches need to be won, Joy explains it depends on the number of participants in the actual Tournament, and this year it seems they will need to win at least two matches to make it in.
Outside they talk themselves up and a little kid asks if they're going to take part in the contest, and when they say yes his face slowly falls and he moans please battle with him! Ash is all up for that, of course, but Brock suggests he preserve his strength and asks the kid what the big rush is? Well it seems the kid has a Remoraid that he is desperate to evolve into an Octillery, and when they ask him why he explains (to a Stars Warsy theme) that though the Whirl Island League is a Water Pokemon League, the water arenas include standing platforms that enable Pokemon to fight on dry space as well. Misty thinks that is cool, and tells the kid she'll battle him since she hasn't had a chance to train with her Corsola just yet.
She faces off against the little punk on opposite sides of a training arena, and he sends out Remoraid while Misty sends out Corsola. Remoraid uses Water Gun but Corsola uses Mirror Coat to reverse the water back at Remoraid. Corsola uses Tackle, swimming through the water and smacking into a rocky outcropping as Remoraid dodges around it, then rides in on a massive wave and Water Guns Corsola, knocking it out!
Misty congratulates Corsola on getting an asswhipping by a shitty Pokemon and the fierce little Remoraid hisses victoriously in the water, and then starts to glow!
The kid - who said he wanted his Pokemon to evolve into an Octillery - is shocked by the glowing light and asks what is happening. And then something really unexpected happens, his Remoraid that he was hoping would evolve into an Octillery does the unthinkable and evolves from a Remoraid (that he wanted to evolve into an Octillery) into.... into..... AN OCTILLERY!
MY GOD!
The Pokemon - which looks like one of those cheap cartoony Octopus-balloons they give away at theme parks - sits in the water with half lidded eyes and pursed, conical lips that make it look both snooty and incredibly camp.
"Octillery, the Jet Pokemon," explains Dexter, then rambles something nonsensical about grabbing on and ramming with something rock hard.
Well, okay.
Ash and Brock are both impressed and as the sun sets, the kid stands with the Octillery fondling him as Misty says the battle helped her (by realising that Corsola sucks?) while Ash and Brock agree now they can now plan their strategy for the next day (don't use Corsola because it sucks. The kid says the next time he sees them will be in the finals, while the entire time the Octillery does weird, wriggly things to him and moans, "Ffffffnnnaaaaaah!"
That night the twerps stand on the balcony of the Pokemon Centre looking at the sea-view and Ash says he can't wait till tomorrow. He tells Pikachu it won't be able to fight this time because it is a Water Pokemon Battle, but he knows it'll cheer him on. Misty asks Brock to hold onto Togepi (its grip loosening daily as Misty comes more and more back into her own!) and he happily agrees. Misty tells Ash she'll be rooting for him, which pleases him, and then she qualifies the statement by saying she wants to beat him in the finals.
The next day finds Ash in his stadium qualifying matches, sending out Totodile which dances with insane glee while his opponent calls out the shitty Seel which tries Ice beam, which Totodile dances happily around before Water Gunning Seel into its trainer, knocking them both out. Meanwhile Misty's Poliwhirl faces off against a Magikarp that.... can't swim! Misty sweatdrops in embarrassment for her opponent as it thrashes about in horror in the water, and then sends in Poliwhirl which begins bitchslapping it. Ash has already moved on to his second battle with Totodile fighting a Shellder. Totodile is knocked back but then smashes Shellder with a Water Gun for a second victory. Meanwhile Misty's Corsola is smacked for a loop by a Seaking (apparently Corsola really sucks now) but uses Recover then tackles Seaking hard, winning her her second match.
Back at the Pokemon Centre Ash and Misty compare scores and high-five each other, having both won their matches and gaining entry into the finals. Brock says he senses an Ash/Misty showdown, but then the kid from the previous day slumps despondently past them.
Misty asks the kid - Marcellus - what is wrong, and Ash diplomatically asks, "Did you lose already?" which causes Misty to shove him aside with a growl (Togepi going from looking concerned to ecstatic at this abuse) and tells Marcellus not to get too depressed, everyone loses at some point and a lot of trainers can learn more from their defeats than their victories. Marcellus invites them to his house for dinner and Brock says he'd like to learn more about Octillery, Misty agreeing she would too.
Yes Misty, we saw the other day how you feel about tentacles.
Marcellus lives.... in a mansion! It is huge and includes a giant aquarium set into the walls full of Remoraid. He explains their gang affiliations, some being from the East Side and others from the West Side but the twerps can't understand why only one of them has evolved into an Octillery. Marcellus sadly says he'll show them, and calls out Octillery. He lifts the flailing, tentacled thing up into the water, but when it gets inside all of the Remoraids avoid it and swim away. Ash can't understand, it is like they are scared of it? Misty asks if it is the same Octillery as the one that evolved after the fight with her Corsola (no, Misty, that was the other "only Remoraid that has evolved") and he says it is, and before it evolved all of the Remoraid got along with it just fine, in fact it used to be their leader.
Brock thinks maybe because they didn't see it evolve they may not realise it is their friend and former leader, and inside the aquarium the Remoraids Group Water Gun Octillery against the glass wall. It turns and looks at its own hideous reflection, then clambers into a pot and pulls the lid on to hide its ugliness from the world.
The twerps feel sorry for the monstrosity and Marcellus explains he only lost in his matches today because Octillery was distracted by its rejection (yeah, Marcellus, that's the reason why) and Brock says they'll just have to show it that it still has friends. Marcellus isn't sure how (what with it not having friends and all) but Misty says she does. Ash proudly tells Marcellus that Misty knows a lot about Water Pokemon, and quickly regrets his words when she explains her plan.... she dresses Ash up in an Octillery outfit.
Oh Lord, how long has she been waiting for an opportunity to get him into that gimp suit?
Brock says that apart from the extra set of eyes he looks "pretty good" (apparently Brock is getting more and more desperate) and Ash shuts his eyes and stumbles about going, "OHHY OH OH! OHHY OH OH!" in what he appears to think is a good imitation of an Octillery.
Inside the aquarium Octillery pops its head out of the pot and sees Ash standing outside the aquarium, closing his eyes to create the illusion of an Octillery with a flesh coloured semicircle birthmark in its forehead.... then ruins the illusion entirely by talking in human and asking it if it wants to come out. Octillery clambers over the edge of the aquarium.... and blasts a load of water into Ash's face.
"Maybe when Octillery spit in your face it means they like ya!?" suggests Misty with a smile.
Keep telling yourself that, Misty, the face full of liquid means they love you.
That night Team Rocket sneaks into Marcellus' house and Jesse screeches at the sight of the Remoraid.
"ARRRH! It's my wretched recurring Remoraid nightmare come true!" she gasps.
"I see no resemblance to that first grade teacher of yours," says James, and Jesse sighs in relief, saying that Mrs Crabtree was REALLY scary.
That must be one fucked up dream!
Meowth suggests they steal the Remoraid for their Water Pokemon Theme Park and charge for entry, and James replies with a squeal of, "OOOOOOOH MEOWTH!" that is just, well.... odd! Wobbuffet pops up to salute happily, Meowth finding himself sitting on the patiently pleased Pokemon as Jesse sighs that she wished Pokeballs came with locks. Meowth says to stop worrying about the blue blob and get the Remoraids, and they put a giant vacuum pipe in which begins sucking them up as Octillery watches from its pot.
Meanwhile the twerps are eating dinner with Marcellus, who apparently cooked the meal and lives in the mansion by himself with no parents despite being about 8 years old. Misty thinks she heard a noise and Brock thinks it came from the Remoraid room, so Marcellus goes and clicks on the light, shocked to see Team Rocket stealing his Pokemon!
"Yes everything is fine but prepare for trouble!" laughs Jesse in reply to Marcellus' earlier call asking if everything was all right.
"Things couldn't be better so you can make it double!" adds James.
"To protect the world from devastation!"
"To unite all peoples within our nation!"
"To denounce the evils of truth and love!"
"To extend our reach to the stars above!"
"Jesse!"
"James!"
"Team Rocket blasts off at the speed of light!"
"Surrender now or prepare to fight, fight, fight!"
"Wobbuffet!" yells Wobbuffet, then gets kicked aside by Meowth.
"Meowth! Dat's right!"
Marcellus asks what the hell is going on now that their motto is over, and spots his empty tanks. The twerps arrive and Team Rocket (and Wobbuffet) leap out the window and jump into their waiting truck with an R on the side (where they got it.... don't ask!), ready to take off with the stolen Remoraid which they apparently didn't know about when they snuck in but had a tank prepared for anyway? Octillery approaches the back of the truck and hops underneath it, spotted by Marcellus and the twerps who.... stand around and do nothing while Team Rocket yell at them from the cab of the truck and James sends out Weezing to hide their escape.
Team Rocket drive off, James calling back Weezing as they go, and Misty notices a splooge of white stuff on the ground, and another and another.... apparently Octillery got REALLY excited and left a trail behind.
Team Rocket arrive at the docks where an "R" branded boat is waiting (did they actually call ahead to Giovanni?) and James orders Meowth to get into the crane and lift the tanks full of Remoraids onto the ship, but as he prepares to move them.... Octillery starts raping his face! Jesse and James watch the oral violation of their team-mate with curiosity before hauling it off of Meowth's face, and it slams its rock hard head into Jesse's boobs (like you wouldn't), then James' chest and Wobbuffet's mouth (okay you probably wouldn't) again and again before turning and talking to the Remoraids before it begins slamming against the tank and cracking the glass, which breaks open and allows the Remoraids to spill out into the ocean. James cries over his premature planned retirement as they watch it wash away, while Meowth seeks revenge for his mouth rape and fires the crane hook at Octillery. The twerps show up and send in Pikachu to zap it, but then Meowth grabs Octillery by the head with the crane, warning that if Pikachu zaps them, it zaps Octillery as well.
But the Remoraid in the tanks Water Gun the crane which spins about and sends Octillery flying through the air.... and into a collective Water Gun fountain from the Remoraids that keep it in the air and move it over to Marcellus, who hugs the flailing, tentacled monstrosity.
Misty points out Team Rocket to Ash who apparently "forgot" and he has Pikachu Thunderbolt them, then Octillery blasts them with a sphere of water than sends Team Rocket blasting off again!
The Remoraids swim up to the port and hiss in communication at Octillery, which appears to have become accepted again.... and then all of the Remoraid begin to glow as they all make the evolutionary step into Octilleries before making a FFFFFNNAAAHHH'ing noise!
Oh lord.
The next day finds the twerps standing on a hillside with other trainers looking at a half submerged arena. Whirlpools form and the water slowly recedes to a level where the arena seating is no longer submerged and the arena itself is part water and part the platforms and columns where the Whirl Cup will take place.
Yes Gentle Dodgers, after a surprisingly short build-up, the twerps are ready to take part in the Whirl Cup League!
| BEST QUOTES |
|
