207: Around the Whirlpool
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Yes, despite Ash's protests at the start of his Johto League adventures that he had to hurry to get to the quickly impending Johto League; he's now stopped to take a goddamn motherfucking CRUISE. It is here we find him, staring happily at the five Johto League badges he has gotten so far in his inner coat, even as he travels away from his sixth potential badge. As he and Pikachu chuckle over their latest badge, gained from Chuck the Machoke, Machoke Man, Misty giggles about being in her element - the water - and all the potential water Pokemon out there to be found. She's far more "alive" today that usual, perhaps due to the fact Togepi is sitting on the railing in front of her rather than in her arms (push it into the ocean, Brock! Push it in!). But their happy ruminations are cut off as they suddenly spy a series of whirlpools in the water before and around them. They stare in unease; no one really wants to find themselves caught....
Around The Whirlpool
But hey, for Ash there is no time to question his moves, he sticks to the path that he choose. Him and his friends, they're gonna do it right; you'll never see them run away from a fight! You see, to be a Master is his dream, all he's got to do is believe (I believe), he's got a chance to win, he's on his way to victory (Pokemon!), he can be a champion if he just believes.... He's on a Master Quest (Master Quest!), he wants the whole world to see (I believe!), he's gonna be the very best, 'cos all he's got to do is believe in him!
So as the boat approaches the whirlpool and the twerps face it nervously, Ash screeching as he grabs Pikachu.... a drink is proffered to him by a gloved hand. He stares in surprise as a tall young man with blue hair and a beret and a tall young lady with red hair in suspenders and a bow-tie hand them drinks and calm them down, telling them that the boat travels safely through the whirlpools all the time thanks to great engineering and an experience Captain. The twerps stare uneasily at the swirling vortexes of death as behind them the two attendants are suddenly joined by a Meowth.... A TALKING MEOWTH! The odds of ANOTHER talking Meowth that also has a male and female companion with blue and red hair are astronomical and... oh, it's Team Rocket in a clever disguise of glasses and different clothes. They grab a net and craftily sneak up to grab Pikachu, swinging the net down and.... capture Ash!
Well there's nothing for it but a motto then!
"Prepare for trouble, one lump or two?"
"We'll make it double just for you!"
"To protect the world from devastation," Jesse says as she pours a cup of coffee for her and James.
"To unite all peoples within our nation!"
"To denounce the evils of truth and love," Jesse lunges over the coffee brandishing two lumps of sugar menacingly.
"To extend our reach to the stars above." says James as he stirs the sugar in.
"HA! Jesse," cries Jesse as she reveals her Team Rocket uniform.
"HA!James!" laughs James as he reveals his Team Rocket uniform.
"Team Rocket taking a well deserved coffee break at the speed of light," Jesse exclaims as she pulls off the attendant uniform to reveal her Team Rocket costume, then sits down to enjoy her coffee.
"So surrender now while we sip or we'll be forced to fight!"
"WOBBUFFET!" cries Meowth with a salute, then blushes,"Hey yeah.... dat's right!"
"WOBBUFFET!" agrees the real Wobbuffet with a brave salute, popping up underneath Meowth.
"Team Rocket!" snap the twerps, and Meowth shouts that after all the trouble they went to sneaking on board, they're not going to let the twerps get away. Well Pokemon Poaching and mass destruction is one thing... but stowing away!?!? Well the twerps don't want anything to do with that type of nonsense and try to get away without being seen with a bunch of stowaways while Jesse and James consider the possibilities of booking a late room.... or maybe even three separate ones? Noticing the twerps leaving, Jesse and James call on Arbok and Weezing who try a Poison Sting/Smog Attack combo. Ash tries to settle things early using his old standby of Thunderbolt, but Wobbuffet uses Counter and the attack is deflected, setting off an explosion and sending Team Rocket blasting off again.... but the twerps as well!
Yes, Ash, Misty and Brock are sent flying into the water and panic as they realise they're trapped in the ocean with whirlpools all around them. May takes charge, calling out Poliwhirl and Goldeen before Ash calls out Totodile, and they all grab a Pokemon to keep them buoyant and get them away from a whirlpool.
Except, well.... the ocean is kind of stronger than a fish, a toad and an insane alligator and it begins tugging them back in towards the ocean. They're about to be sucked in and drown (see Ash! this is what happens when you don't get your ass to the Johto League Tournament!) when a huge black shadow passes beneath them and suddenly the whirlpool stops pulling on them. They sit in the water confused as a Corsola pops up (a weird kind of Pokemon that seems to be made out of Coral) and swims around them, definitely not the massive Pokemon that just swam beneath them. Then tentacles rip out of the water...
Hey hey! Now we gots a party!
...and haul the twerps up with tentacles wrapped around them, Misty actually smiling happily (the Japanese want us to know young girls love being fondled by tentacles!) as the Corsola leads the Tentacruel holding them forwards towards a boat. Corsola leaps out of the water into the arms of a white coated man... well well, if it isn't Professor Elm!
Yes the nerdy Professor with a fixation on bettering Professor Oak is on the boat, and takes the twerps onboard where he gets them hot drinks and under a dry blanket. They quickly catch up on what is going on (Professor Elm is trying to outdo Professor Oak and Ash is trying to avoid getting to the quickly impending Johto League) while Misty admires Elm's Corsola and checks up on it with Dexter.
"Corsola, the Coral Pokemon," explains Dexter, "A combination of both water, and rock, types. It sheds and regrows the horns, on its head, multiple times."
The captain of the ship - Marius - comes down with a grim look as Elm talks him up, telling Elm to give the kids a chance to rest. Professor Elm (who may be in LOOOOVE with Marius) agrees and introduces the twerps the Captain. The twerps follow Elm up to the cabin where the Captain guides them into port of Blueport Isle, the first of the Whirl Islands, which the twerps find.... well..... colourful.
Like a Smeargle exploded," mutters Brock as he stares around at all the painted banners. Brock, you see, knows a thing or two about the mess left behind when something "explodes".
Professor Elm and Marius inform them that the colourful banners are due to the Whirl Cup, a Water Pokemon Competition held every three years that will take place in a month. With delight in her eyes, Misty proclaims they can count her in!
THE JOHTO LEAGUE ASH! SAY SOMETHING! THE GODDAMN ASS-RAPING JOHTO LEAGUE YOU SON OF A BITCH!
A little further off, Team Rocket drag their way onto the port, spotting the twerps as they gasp for breath.
"I'm sure I must have swallowed at least half of that wretched sea," moans James, which is odd since the salty taste is surely nothing new to him.
"After six gallons and three Goldeens, who's counting," moans Jesse, who apparently swallowed six gallons of the salty stuff.
"Last time I'm taking a cruise," moans Meowth, and then spots the twerps.
They leap up and proclaim being waterlogged and malnourished isn't going to stop them showing the twerps who they are... and then Wobbuffet pops up beneath Meowth who moans that maybe they can show them who they are after a quick lunch?
At the Pokemon Centre, Nurse Joy hands Ash a guide book to the Whirl Cup League and tells him to be sure to read it from cover to cover as it includes all the rules for the Whirl Cup.
"NURSE JOY! YOU RULE IN MY BOOK!" moans Brock, as Corsola leaps out of Professor Elm's hands and rushes off. Misty asks Elm where it is going and he explains Corsola is going to visit friends in the Pokemon Centre pool, which is connected to the bay and allows Pokemon to swim back and forth between. Misty is impressed, having never seen so many Water Pokemon (except for all those times she has seen more); and Joy explains all of the different trainers from other islands have come here to get their Pokemon acclimatised.
Well Misty is quickly entered into the Whirl Cup League..... but so is Ash! Not only has he not pointed out to Misty that the ever-loving goddammn Johto League is quickly impending, but he's joined in another tournament as well! They thank her for signing them up, while Brock chats with another Trainer and takes notes on how he keeps his Pokemon.... moist.
Oh dear.
Captain Marius asks if he is going to register for the League, but Brock explains he wants to be a breeder
Tell us more of this human emotion you call..... love!
Ash has realised things are going to be tough as Elm explains the Whirl Cup League is a WATER POKEMON league, while Misty catches on fire and floods an excited Togepi with extra bio-energy as she proclaims soon the entire civilised world (including her sisters!) are going to know that she is a Water Pokemon Master!
Professor Elm then explains how the Whirl Cup League works. Registrations are made and then qualifying rounds are held on some of the other Whirl Islands to narrow down the field to the best, then the finals are held at the actual Whirl Cup League itself. He shows them a map of Blue Point Isle, Yellow Rock Isle, Red Rock Isle and Silver Rock Isle where the winner is declared Water Pokemon Alpha-Omega!
Dodgemaster Tim Note: The term Alpha-Omega was also used in the Pokemopolis "Worst Fanfic Ever... EVER!" interactive fanfic, but before the term itself was used in the Pokemon Anime. The use of the term is pure coincidence on both parts, but a really neat little coincidence regardless!
Team Rocket listen using a.... listening.... thingamajig.... stuff..... out in the forest and are very keen on the idea of all the well trained Pokemon in the pool.
A little later the twerps visit Professor Elm and Captain Marius at the boat and ask them about the large shadow that passed beneath them earlier when they were almost killed by the Whirlpool. Elm isn't sure what it is and neither is Marius, though he has heard many rumours about a mystery Water Pokemon. Elm points out that they are always discovering new things about Pokemon and explains that just recently a whole new class of Pokemon - Steel Types - have been discovered.
Elm explains he is conducting water research is because the ocean is where most life started and Captain Marius declares a rather disturbing philosophy on life that involves forced marching until everyone else collapses from malnutrition around you. Brock for some reason thinks this is good advice for a breeder
Suddenly they notice something odd in the air above the Pokemon Centre.... it's the Happy Buddha Face Meowth Balloon! A rope drops down from the balloon's enhanced fan engine and a net opens up to scoop up all of the Pokemon chilling in the pool. They pull the Pokemon up and then begin sailing out over the ocean, having finally figured out they can pull off a successful heist if they just wait for the twerps to leave town!
Unfortunately for them, the twerps hadn't left town quite yet, and Elm's boat gives chase as they try to make their getaway. Jesse spots them and angrily sends out Arbok to see them off, and when Ash prepares to throw down using Pikachu Misty steps in with Staryu.
Hang on a second! Misty has been acting different this entire episode. She's been more forceful, more demanding and abrasive! She's been... she's been.... she's been like the Misty of old! Maybe it's the bracing sea air, maybe it's something else, but Misty is in her element and it seems that for the moment at least, Togepi's hold on her has loosened enough to bring back the old Misty!
She orders Staryu to hit Arbok with Swift Attack, smacking the swimming snake with glowing stars. It counters with Poison Sting after dodging Water Gun and knocks Staryu for a loop, and Misty calls it back before reaching for another Pokemon.... and Psyduck leaps out clutching its head and looking completely, totally confused!
Still it figures why not give it the old college try and leaps into the water... where it promptly thrashes around in a panic as it remembers it can't swim! Misty quickly calls her embarrassing Pokemon back. All of the confusion has given Ash the chance he needs to take centre stage again though, and he has Pikachu prepare to blast Team Rocket with a Thunderbolt.... and James fires a net that captures Pikachu!
Well, that's the twerps fucked then!
But Corsola is still there and it leaps into the water, swimming forward at a fast pace, dodging a Sludge Attack from Weezing, tackling Arbok back into Team Rocket and then blasting out a burst of Spike Cannon that tear through the net holding the Pokemon and rip open Team Rocket's balloon, sending them... well, you know of course, sending them blasting of again!
As Pikachu treads water with the other Pokemon surrounding it and Corsola swimming up to them, Misty watches from the boat with wide eyes, having concreted her earlier desire into a full blown obsession now, she wants a Corsola!
Later than night at the Pokemon Centre Ash catches Professor Oak up on what he is doing (bumming around the Whirl Islands instead of getting his sixth Johto League Badge) and Ash belatedly remembers that he saw a mysterious Pokemon. Suddenly Professor Elm jams his face in so he can "expound on that a bit", telling the mentor he desperately wants to surpass, explaining he has generated a number of theories related to a native island legend although it is a bit premature to call the mystery Pokemon a "legendary Pokemon...... all while the confused twerps look on.
The next day dawns bright and sunny as the twerps say goodbye to Professor Elm and Captain Marius, preparing to head off towards the first of the Whirl Islands on their map and their first step to the Not-The-Johto-League-Championships Whirl Islands League.
But hey, we've put up with this much meandering so far, and we'll put up with more for now, because it seems to have lifted Misty out of her Togepi-induced character-coma.
Welcome back, Misty!
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