204: Got Miltank?
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A fucking desert.
Yes, they've reached the edge of a desert because apparently the road planner was drunk. But they have to get to Olivine City, because the Johto League is quickly impending and... Ash fell down a hole.
A net scoops Pikachu out of the air and a rock-coloured sheet drops away to reveal Team Rocket holding Pikachu in a shock proof net.
"Prepare for trouble!" cries Jesse.
"Make it double!" adds James.
"I'm cutting dis one short!" laughs Meowth.
"Uh!?!" cry Jesse and James.
"WOBBUFFET!" screams Wobbuffet with a happy salute.
Brock hauls Ash out of the hole and he demands that Team Rocket hand over Pikachu or else. Team Rocket just laugh, suggesting that the 'or else' is or else they'll jump into their Happy Buddha Face Meowth Balloon.
An angry Ash calls out Cyndaquil and James calls out Weezing, but instead of fighting something horrible and unexpected happens.
Cyndaquil humps Weezing's mouth.
Yes it seems that squinty eyed infant Cyndaquil is no longer the sweet innocent baby mouse it once was, as it violates Weezing's oral cavity. Weezing roars with shock and throws Cyndaquil off, and when it crashes to the ground it reveals a giant red welt on the nose that sends Team Rocket in paroxysms of laughter (especially James who throws his head back and waggles his tongue about, then starts humping a pole on the Happy Buddha Face Meowth Balloon!). Cyndaquil appears to have gotten a bump on the nose..... or is it just another sign of Cyndaquil's erotic awakening? Is it a pimple?
Has Cyndaquil hit puberty!?!
Weezing fires a Sludge Attack at Cyndaquil but Ash blocks it, and Cyndaquil becomes filled with the righteous indignation of the horny teenager denied. Team Rocket begin to get concerned and Weezing tries to throw up a Smokescreen before it's tar filled mouth takes another humping. Cyndaquil lets loose with a Flamethrower which sets the smoke on fire (that can happen now apparently) and a massive explosion sends Team Rocket blasting off again and Pikachu plummeting into the arms of Ash.
But where is Cyndaquil?
The twerps look around for the growing mouse, but it is nowhere to be seen? Has it disappeared into the desert? Indeed it has, but as Cyndaquil staggers around calling it's own name weakly, it is not alone. A Sentret watches from a rock and a Sandshrew and Butterfree follow Cyndaquil as it staggers through the desert.
Ash, Misty and Brock look about for Cyndaquil but have no luck finding it (they never actually go INTO the desert, it looks way too hot!) so they head to the nearby Pokemon Centre to see if anyone has handed Cyndaquil in.
Because when people find Pokemon in the wild, the first thing they do is pick it up and carry it to a Pokemon Centre to see if it belongs to anyone.
But Nurse Joy has not had a Cyndaquil brought in, though Ash's story does remind her of a local legend about sick and injured Pokemon. They disappear into the desert but then come back stronger and healthier than before (yes Mary, your dog that went missing for three weeks come back better than ever.... and brown instead of black.... and a boy now!), leading some to speculate there is a secret oasis in the desert.
A SECRET OASIS! Well Ash demands to know just where the hell this secret oasis is!
Brock points out that she told them it was just a legend (neglecting to mention that Joy just told them it was a 'secret' that she obviously doesn't know about) but Ash decides to head out into the desert without any extra provisions.... and Brock and Misty happily follow him.
Meanwhile Cyndaquil staggers through the desert and then collapses, only to be lifted up by a Dugtrio and carried away, watched by a groaning Team Rocket who are hanging in their basket on a rocky outcropping.
They figure that the Cyndaquil isn't looking the best right now (in that it looks dead) so if they grab it, they can use it as bait to capture Pikachu. However there is still the problem of exactly what to do about getting down from the rocky outcropping in the first place.... but Jesse has a solution! She grabs Meowth by the sides of the head, pushes him out over the edge and then.... lets go!
Meowth plummets down and crashes face first into the ground, belying the myth that all cats land on their feet (CATS DON'T EVEN HAVE FEET! THEY'VE GOT FLUFF PAWS!). Jumping up, Meowth leaps from paw to paw clutching at his bruised face as Jesse and James shout at him to get them down. Meowth calls for a little compassion and then suddenly a Dugtrio pops up beneath him and begins carrying him away. Jesse and James cry out in alarm and begin violently humping the side of the basket (like you wouldn't) before falling out themselves and crashing in a Meowth like fashion into the ground.
"GA-ROAR!"
Well yes, that would be Onix, somewhere further off looking around for Cyndaquil. It hasn't spotted anything yet, including the two Quagsire sitting on the edge of a rocky outcropping. When the others see them, they call out, yelling and shouting at the two Pokemon until they turn and move away. The twerps can't figure out why the two Pokemon were turned off by the sight of screaming shouting humans, and begin chasing after them since running fully clothed in a desert through the hot sun is a good idea. They get over a rise and see a mountain jutting up out of the ground far in the distance, penetrating the sky with brute rocky force.
Crobat and Noctowl arrive on the scene, having apparently seen Cyndaquil. They both point in the direction of the mountain and the twerps once again start running fully clothed through the desert towards the far off mountain.
Team Rocket are a bit smarter about it, and are creeping from the shade of one rock to the other, keeping pace with Meowth and Cyndaquil which are being carried by the Dugtrio to a rocky edge where they are thrown off onto the head of an Exeggutor, that carried them into a tunnel set into the side of the mountain that opens up into the interior of the mountain cone... and a beautiful oasis full of happy looking Pokemon.
"Milllllooooo!" cries a voice and suddenly a giant set of tits emerges into the camera.... or rather a rotund Miltank with perky teats on a fat udder waddling purposefully towards them, nipples practically sweating milk.
"Mebbe you should watch where you're aiming dose tings?" suggests Meowth as the nipples come to a stop inches from his face. Suddenly Miltank's tail begins to glow and it presses one paw against Cyndaquil's unsightly pimple.... and it disappears! Then Miltank touches Meowth's bruised face and one 'warm glow' later, his face is fine!
This be some freaky shit here!
Outside Jesse and James are watching the Exeggutor hanging out around the entrance to the mountain tunnel. They are offended they weren't invited in by Meowth (who seemed to be on the guest list and completely aware of what was going on, didn't he gentle Dodgers!) and decide to pop in and see what's going on.
They approach the Exeggutor who all turn around and stare at them and then blue lights in the eyes and oh what's going on why are Jesse and James standing somewhere else and the mountain is behind them what the HELL HAPPENED!?!?!
"Ga-Roar?" asks Onix, seemingly as confused as the just hypnotised Jesse and James. It is carrying around the twerps who have apparently realised the error of running around in the hot sun in the desert. They notice Jesse and James staggering away from the mountain, hypnotised to think they're approaching it, and Brock is smart enough to know that the Exeggutor have hypnotised them. They try to figure out how to approach the mountain without being hypnotised themselves and in the end decide to use Onix to dig a tunnel and burrow up from beneath the mountain.
Inside the oasis, Meowth is settled down in Miltank's lap (so it's like that, is it?) and acting as narrator, telling all of us watching at home what is going on by asking Miltank questions. Apparently Miltank set up 'shop' in this oasis to heal sick and injured Pokemon, and they keep humans out by using the hypnosis of the Exeggutor. A little further out Onix bursts into the tunnel leading into the oasis and the twerps begin to head in to the Oasis. Outside Jesse and James slam into the rock pillar that they crashed into earlier. Broken free of their hypnosis, Jesse pulls out masking tape and explains that they're going to repair the Happy Buddha Face Meowth Balloon, then fly over and into that mountain.
Inside the mountain? Well the twerps have walked into the oasis just in time to see..... something very disturbing.
The scene is cut and quite evidently so as we are treated to at least thirty seconds of the twerps standing very still and talking carefully so as to not rouse suspicions. What is happening is what Brock calls something 'special', a transfer of energy from one Pokemon to another.
What it is, Gentle Dodgers, is Cyndaquil sucking on some big fat Miltank titty!
When Ash calls out to his newly erotically-awoken Pokemon, it and Meowth twist around in shock at being sprung in such a compromising position. All of the other Pokemon in this sick Pokemon love-den suddenly zoom up to surround the twerps, ready to attack them. Meowth appears to warn them to get the hell out of here, this place is for Pokemon only.
Cyndaquil is still only a kid though, even if it has hit puberty, humped a Weezing's mouth and suckled on some big fat Miltank titty. It still needs it's Dad and rushes towards Ash, only to be blocked off by an angry Primape. Ash responds to this in his typical thoughtful fashion, leaping off the edge of the cliff he's standing on and crashing into the lake fed by the lovely waterfall in the Oasis. He emerges completely unharmed (he must have landed on his head) with Pikachu and again Cyndaquil tries to get to him, but is blocked off by the other Pokemon again. Ash assures them he is only looking for his friend, but his case is a little damaged by Team Rocket's sudden appearance in the repaired Happy Buddha Face Meowth Balloon.
"Prepare for trouble!"
"And make it double!"
"To protect the world from devastation."
"To unite all peoples within our nation."
"To denounce the evils of truth and love."
"To extend our reach to the stars above."
"Jesse," says Jesse as a giant statue of Jesse's head floats by.
"James," says James as a giant statue of James' head floats by.
"Team Rocket blasts off at the speed of light," continues Jesse as the two busts (GETCHA MINDS OUTTA DA GUTTA) float by on a giant floating satellite reminiscent of Thanos' floating throne.
"Surrender now or prepare to fight!"
"WOBBUFFET!" cries Wobbuffet, floating past saluting while wearing a spacesuit.
Well, like you wouldn't.
Meowth yells at them not to screw things up here in this little hedonistic paradise, but all Jesse and James care about is catching Pokemon. They send out Arbok and Weezing, then Victreebell for the obligatory "swallow James' head" joke before Jesse bodily pitches Wobbuffet into the water. Meowth refuses to fight, explaining that this oasis is something special and Miltank is a friendly bint who'll let anyone have a suckle, so he's going to sit this fight out. Arbok, Weezing, Wobbuffet and Victreebell are apparently moved (or sickened) by this speech and also agree not to fight. Shocked by this mutiny, Jesse and James call them back and then fire another electricity proof net that captures Miltank, which Meowth kindly identified as the most valuable member of the community. Meowth grabs onto the net as well, clambers up the rope into the basket and confronts Jesse and James, who kindly grab him, throw him down and bodily tie and gag him to shut him up.
With Miltank hanging beneath the balloon, the net fireproof and the other 100+ Pokemon in the oasis only capable of hanging menacingly in the air... it's up to Cyndaquil! It uses Flamethrower to snap the rope holding Miltank beneath the balloon. Then Ash calls out Bayleef to use razor leaf to break open the net and then Miltank crashes into the water and emerges completely unharmed (maybe it landed on it's tits?). Then a quick thundershock from Pikachu and Team Rocket are blasting off.... again!
So everything is sweetness and light, Cyndaquil is reunited with the twerps who have in turn promised not to reveal the location of the hedonistic interspecies orgy oasis.
They head off into the desert once again, apparently closer than ever now to the ever elusive Olivine City and that quickly impending Johto League. Surely there can be no more distractions, surely next episode will finally find them in Olivine? Please?
PLEASE!?!!
Sadly gentle Dodgers, it's never as easy as that.
| BEST QUOTES |
 "Maybe you should watch where you're aiming dose tings?"
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