201: Right On, Rhydon!
Dodgy Synopsis
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This is a tale of a thing of beauty, a marvel of evolution and the brutal way in which it is beaten into submission and forced into a life of torturous servitude. Have no fear, the usual jokes and attempts at humour will be made but at the end of the day, this is an episode that left us, quite frankly, horrified.
The episode begins with the twerps sleeping inside a tent, obviously tuckered out from all that taking their sweet time to get to Olivine City. But one creature does not need sleep, one creature lives only for it's own amusement and eventual domination.
Yes Togepi arises from it's place beside Misty, opens it's cavernous maw and yawns before leaving the tent, seen only by Pikachu that follows it outside. The open tent lets sunlight shine through onto Ash's face, wakening him as well. He steps outside where Pikachu appears to be playfully chasing Togepi around in circles (or is Togepi in fact chasing a terrified Pikachu with dark good humour?) and stares out over the lake.
But suddenly Pikachu and Togepi note something odd in the water and get Ash's attention. He can't see anything but suddenly, majestically bursting out of the water is... RHYDON!
Yes Rhydon, the Ground/Rock Type. Rock Type Pokemon are vulnerable to water, it hurts them, it makes them cry. But not this Rhydon, no.... this Rhydon has pushed past it's limitations and proven that you can improve yourself, you can turn your weakness into a strength. FIGHT THE POWER! RIGHT ON MAN! No no... not right on man....
Right On, Rhydon!
A little later, Brock and Misty insist that Ash could not have seen Rhydon because it's Rock type and therefore wouldn't swim in water. He must have seen a Feraligator (possible) or maybe a Magikarp (oh come on, not even Ash is THAT dumb!). But Ash is insistent that he saw what he saw he saw.... sawingly. When Misty rolls her eyes and asks for an explanation of how a Rhydon could swim in the water, she gets an answer from an unexpected source.
A tall green haired girl holding a Marill approached them by the riverbank, saying she can explain just how the Rhydon came to be swimming in the water. Before she can elucidate, however, Brock charges up to her and gleefully asks that instead of telling them about Rhydon, she tell them about herself.
Her name is Pietra (an enchanting name! cries Brock before Misty grabs him by the ear) and she explains that Rhydon learnt Surf Attack, a move not usually learnt by Rock Types.
Ash needles Brock with a grin, saying he thought that 'Brocko' knew everything there was to know about Rock Type Pokemon.
Brocko?
Pietra asks which way Rhydon went and Ash tells her, which seems to make her sad. Misty asks why (after all, they're not on their way to Olivine City and have plenty of time for distractions) and Pietra happily shows them her 'project'.
Yes Pietra's Grandmother apparently needs to walk to the nearby town and recently sprained an ankle, so Pietra has taken it upon herself (without a resource consent or permit from the city) to start bludgeoning a hole through a nearby hill. The new tunnel will mean that her Grandmother can make her way into the town without having to climb a hill, thus showing nature that humanity doesn't need to take it out to dinner and a show if it wants a little action... it'll take what it wants when it wants it.
Dugtrio are hauling out rocks from inside the tunnel, and further in a Graveller and a Sandslash are cutting and smashing into the tunnel, digging it deeper and deeper. But now the roof of the tunnel is beginning to leak water, explains Pietra, which of course freaks out Pokemon like Sandslash and Graveller and is slowing down the work on the tunnel.
So Pietra's sadness is now clear, she wants to capture this marvel of nature - the Surfing Rhydon - to speed up the completion of her unlicensed, unstable tunnel which is topped by some kind of underground water supply.... all to cut five minutes off of her Gran's trip to town to get some taters.
A noble cause indeed!
But Brock proclaims that Pietra doesn't need Rhydon, she can use something long and hard that belongs to him!
Onix!
With a ga-roar Onix emerges, with Brock confidently stating that he has bred Onix to be tougher than tough and it can handle a little water. But like many brash young virgins, Brock suggests he has more control over something long and hard than he really does. Onix smashes a couple of times into the end of the tunnel, causing a large burst of water to explode out of the dangerously unstable tunnel roof and send the giant Pokemon fleeing in terror.
Brock chases it out, hugely embarrassed at his big hard thing retreating in front of Pietra, returning it to it's Pokeball. Pietra again sighs, saying that this is why she needs to capture Rhydon, to put it to work for her in dangerous (and probably non-union) labour.
But while Pietra might want the Pokemon for less than noble means, Team Rocket may be even less altruistic, they want it because it's a freak and the Boss would love it!
They follow the twerps (using incredibly crap cardboard cut-outs of grass that would embarrass a 5 year old's school play) who in turn are following Rhydon tracks, telling Pietra that she could have easily found the Rhydon if she'd just followed the tracks.
Of course, they realise the slight hitch in their plans when they get to a riverbank and realise that you can't follow Rhydon tracks underwater. Pietra explains this is the problem, she can't track the Rhydon because when it is swimming it leaves no tracks. But then Ash spots an apple core and after Pietra explains that the Rhydon loves apples, they figure out that if they can find the apples they are likely to find the Rhydon too.
Team Rocket agree, deciding to find the Rhydon's food supply and then lie in wait. But then they notice footprints in the ground and decide it must by Rhydon! They follow the prints into the bushes and then leap as one.... crashing into the ground as Wobbuffet sits behind the bush happily chowing down on an apple.
Jesse leaps up enraged, and James is as well... but for different reasons. He wants to know where more apples can be found, and Wobbuffet pointed in a pleased manner to the shiny red apples sitting high in the tree. Meanwhile, Pietra and the twerps are also following tracks and suddenly notice apple cores being thrown high in the air. They sneak up to the bush, pull it aside and find....
TEAM ROCKET!
Ash demands to know what they're doing there (apparently it's illegal to walk through a forest and eat apples.
"Prehmarefurtrufflewerarioll!" cries Jesse through a mouthful of apple.
"Nakamtiubbelwearioll!" agrees James.
"Tahprahteckdahworlfrodevstachin."
"Mmmmummmmmummmm-a-uhh-umm-umm."
"Tahdahnoudaebilsotroofnluv."
"Mmmmummmmmummmm-a-uhh-umm-umm.."
"Esse" hacks Jesse, choking on apple.
"Ames," coughs James, choking as well.
"EamRockerblahsoftaspeeolight!"
"Surananow... ummahhh-mah... ight, figh, fight!"
"Mim-owth! Dlahrigh!"
"Wlob-uth-it!"
The twerps and Pietra just stare in confusion at Team Rocket, not having a clue what the hell they just said, and then.... RHYDON!
Yes the marvel of form and function appears with a roar and glares angrily first at Pietra, then at Team Rocket and all of the apples they're bogarting. Meowth shakily offers Rhydon two apple cores, saying he has barely touched them. But Rhydon roars and smacks Team Rocket so hard that they're sent blasting off again!
Rhydon grunts in satisfaction, then turns a grim look on Pietra as she demands to battle it, saying she needs to use it's power and skill. Rhydon roars in return, stomps the ground three times then rushes off and dives into the water, swimming away. Ash calls out Totodile, Misty calls out Goldeen, Staryu and Poliwhirl and Pietra throws in Marill. Then the lot head off to track down Rhydon while Pietra tells the twerps they can follow in. her. boat.
Why the f**k doesn't her grandmother sit her old ass in the boat and drift peacefully down to the town instead of walking through a dangerous, illegal tunnel on the verge of collapse from water seepage?
In any case, a dejected Team Rocket stagger out of the bushes and notice Pietra and the twerps in the boat out on the lake. In the water, Marill has failed to find Rhydon but Totodile isn't even trying, instead just gently backstroking until it smacks into an odd drill-like horn sticking out of the lake. Grumpily, Totodile turns around and bites the horn which emerges from the water attached to a pissed off looking Rhydon.
The horn begins to twist and turn (Rhydon can use their horn like drill) which sends Totodile flying, but Pietra could care less about Ash's Pokemon, she just wants to fight Rhydon. She demands a battle but Rhydon looks completely disinterested and begins to move away, until Misty's Pokemon blocked it off.
Apparently wild Pokemon don't get to choose when they battle now, despite all of the twerps critiques of Team Rocket trying to capture Pokemon that don't want to be.
But Rhydon dives underwater and when the other Pokemon try to follow, it uses it's Drill Horn attack to create a whirlpool and knock it's would-be captors dizzy before swimming away, still free.
FREE! Right on, Rhydon!
Back on shore the twerps try to figure out what's wrong. This free wild Pokemon that lives a charmed life swimming in water and eating all of the apples it wants for some reason refuses to let itself be captured by a woman who only wants it to complete a quick, unnecessarily dangerous task and then will probably never use it again!?! What's wrong with it?
But then they notice Rhydon exiting the water off in the distance again, and when Brock checks with his binoculars he notices apple trees. Finally they figure out why Rhydon learnt surf.... it wanted apples! What a remarkable story of evolution in action, a Pokemon adapting to it's surroundings to gain an advantage. Surely the best thing to do would be to leave the Pokemon in the wild where it could be studied from afar by Pokemon Reseachers like Professor Oak!
Well, maybe.... but what about forcing it to work as a non-union labourer in an unnecessary tunnel that is likely to collapse at any second from water seepage? That's just as cool!
But Team Rocket have plans as well, if Rhydon likes apples why not dig one of their patented Team Rocket holes and capture the remarkable Pokemon? Meowth and James get to digging and once done and covered up, James notices that Jesse has 'supervised' their work by falling asleep beneath an apple tree. James is furious but since there is little point in holding a grudge now the work is done, he and Meowth join Jesse beneath the shade of the tree and fall asleep. But a noise awakes first Jesse, then James and Meowth and they rush to the trap to see the Pokemon they have captured..... Wobbuffet.
A very pleased Wobbuffet, it must be said, one that salutes from the bottom of the dirty hole as a shocked Team Rocket look down upon it.
Meanwhile the twerps and Pietra are just waiting in the bushes by an apple tree waiting for Rhydon to make an appearance. Finally it does and again the twerps try to keep Rhydon from escaping so they can force it into battle with Pietra whether it wants to or not. But before a battle can commence, a net swoops up Rhydon and a gleeful Team Rocket pull Rhydon into the air where it dangles beneath their Happy Buddha Face Meowth Balloon.
Brock comes to the rescue by using a horror from the depths of hell, the monstrous Crobat popping out and popping the balloon, sending Team Rocket plunging towards a watery grave.... until they inflate a giant Wobbuffet raft!
Available in stores this Christmas!
But as cool as the Wobbuffet raft is, it's not overly fast and Pietra's boat quickly catches up with Team Rocket, allowing Ash to free Rhydon by using Bulbasaur's Razor Leaf. With Rhydon clear, Pikachu hits Team Rocket with a Thunder Attack (luckily the water that Rhydon is in is that water that doesn't conduct electricity) and sends Team Rocket blasting off again!
Now, after Ash has saved Rhydon (after distracting it into being captured in the first place), Pietra decides that she DESERVES a battle against the disinterested Pokemon. Well Rhydon has no interest in being a captive Pokemon, so it dives back into the water to swim away. But Pietra is determined she will have this Pokemon as her own whether it wants to be captured or not (hey, it's Team Rocket!) and jumps into the water and grabs onto Rhydon, getting hauled underwater as well.
Rhydon grunts to itself as it realises she isn't going to let go, even if she drowns, so it heads back to land and dumps her to the ground where again she demands a battle. Grumpy and just wanting to go back to the happy life of apples and swimming it knows, Rhydon finally agrees.
This, Gentle Dodgers, is when the bad times start.
Pietra's cutesy little Marill suddenly gets a hard glint on it's face, avoiding Rhydon's tail and blasting Rhydon directly in the face with a.... Water Gun Attack.
Yes.
It attacks Rhydon the Surfing Rhydon that likes to Surf in water with an attack using water.
Water.
Rhydon is completely unfazed by the Water Gun, so Marill throws itself bodily into the fight with a Body Slam! Of course while Marill may look like an angry, hard little bastard in the Joe Pesci vein at the moment, it's still too tiny to make an impact and bounces straight off. The twerps cheer for Marill, cheer for Rhydon loosing it's freedom and being beaten into submission! Marill uses Bubble, an attack that staggers Rhydon. In a rage, it again tries to smash Marill but this time the small, hard looking Pokemon avoids the attack and smashes Rhydon with a Water Gun attack it wasn't prepared for.
Rhydon collapses to it's back and Pietra takes the time to strike, throwing in a Pokeball that sucks in the freedom loving Rhydon. This is a scene played out time and time again in Pokemon, but this particularly instance is different. Rhydon did not attack Pietra or demand a battle, Rhydon refused battles when challenged, all Rhydon wanted was a happy life of eating apples. All Pietra wants is to use Rhydon for her own devices, then leave him tucked in a Pokeball forever, a life trapped forever in a Pokeball.
But what else can be done, it's over. Rhydon has been beaten down and as the closed Pokeball bucks and twists on the ground, we can only wait for the button to stop flashing red and for the 'captured' noise to play to indicate Rhydon's new life, a life of....
FREEEEEEEEEEEDOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!
Rhydon bursts free of the pokeball, bursts free of subservience! Pietra drops to her knees and gives in, realising that when a Pokemon does not want to be captured you cannot force them. She changes her ways and stops trying to force nature to her design, and instea....
SLAAAVVVERY!
Pietra does not give a SHIT! She sends Marill in to continue fighting, refusing to acknowledge that the Pokemon does not want to be anybody's bitch. Marill again tries Bubble but this time Rhydon is prepared and avoids the worst of the attack. Marill is not looking in a good way now, until the hardcase little enforcer hiding behind a cute image pulls one last trick out of the bag.
Iron Tail.
Marill grabs the thin end of it's tail and begins to swing it, the bubble at the end beginning to glow white as it takes on the weight and power of a ball of iron. Swinging the iron tail around like a mace, Marill charges in and..... SMASHES IN RHYDON'S FACE!
In a blatantly damaging attack, Rhydon's skull is possibly shattered and it crashes to the ground once again, and this time cannot gather the strength to get free from the pokeball.
Pietra has forcibly captured a Pokemon that did not want to be captured.... and the twerps cheer.
Back at the tunnel, Rhydon is hauled out of the pokeball and, concussion be damned, forced to horndrill through the dangerously unstable tunnel and then bodily smash through it with a takedown. The tunnel is complete and Rhydon turns a bitter look back at Pietra, growling in return to her statement that the dangerous, unstable and unnecessary tunnel has been completed.... which just so happens to render the now captured and enslaved Rhydon useless to Pietra.
So will it be freed? Likely not. Whether the amazing Rhydon liked it or not, it was beaten to a pulp and then forced into servitude to perform one task and one task alone. It will spend the majority of the rest of it's life in a Pokeball. The reaction to this heinous injustice? Cheers and cries of joy from the twerps that helped the illegal contractor to capture it.
Quite frankly, we're horrified.
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 "Maybe it couldn't have been, but it was!"
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