190: Sick Daze
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With the typical disdain of youth for the work that goes into preparing anything, Ash proclaims to the world that NOW he is ready for his breakfast. He and Misty approach Brock who is preparing oatmeal, a meal decision that irritates Ash to no end. If Brock is going to cook, clean, sew and basically mother for him without pay or thanks, couldn't he at least do it with some diversity?
But Ash's safe little world is about to come crumbling down, as Brock collapses to the ground in front of them. Misty checks his forehead and to her shock finds that he is burning up!
Yep, Ash and Misty are in trouble, because today is going to be one of Brocks....
Sick Daze They get Brock inside the log cabin they freeloaded in last night and get him into bed, though he remains clothed. Setting a cold compress on his head Ash and Misty discuss what to do. They're not sure what it is that he's got, though Ash suggests he may have gotten exhaustion like the movie stars, but it is clear that he needs a day off to try and recuperate. Brock on the other hand seems determined to get back up, ignoring Ash and Misty's admonishments to sleep by pointing out that it is very difficult to sleep when two people are constantly talking next to the bed. He tries to get up, telling them he has to cook breakfast and lunch and do the laundrrrryyy.... and then he's back down in bed, exhausted from the physical exertion. Ash and Misty convince him to just lie down and sleep and let them take care of everything. He weakly suggests they check his backpack for a notebook with instructions on how to do all the chores which Togepi retrieves (oddly enough knowing EXACTLY which pocket to go into, as if it intimately knows the interior of ALL of their backpacks). Ash and Misty head outside where ALL of the Pokemon are gathered, all of them concerned because 'tall one what know how food good and clean pretty and not poisonkill' is obviously sick, leaving just 'flamehead with demondemonkilldemon' and 'stupidthewonderprat' to tend to their needs.
Indeed Ash and Misty appear to have decided that they can do all the duties between them that Brock normally handles. But of course none of them have ever realised what an extensive amount of work Brock actually does for them. All the stuff that most Pokemon Trainers usually have to do for themselves has been done for them for years now. As a case in point, Onix and Geodude pull up in front of the two twerps and begin making a lot of noise. Today of course is the day that Brock usually polishes his rocktypes.
Snicker.
"We're going to polish you like you've never been polished before!" proclaims Ash bravely.
Snicker x2.
But it is easier said than done, apparently Brock is much better at 'polishing his rocks' than they are. Ash and Misty just can't figure out his secret....
It's called puberty.
....but Togepi has got all of the amusement it can out of watching them scrub at Onix with a broom and Geodude with a rag. It brings them the notebook with instuctions in it which Misty begins to read, while Ash proves once again why he is the posterchild for not doing crack while pregnant.
He calls over Totodile and calls for it to use Water Gun on a shocked Onix. The large, phallic-looking Pokemon dodges of course but Totodile is just so happy to be so close to real-life actual grass! that it keeps on keeping on, blasting water at a frightened Onix which whips around and accidentally sends Ash and Misty flying. They crash into the ground and Misty begs Brock to PLEASE get well soon.
Meanwhile Brock stands in a field of flowers as rosepetals fall around him and Bellossom caper for his delight. What could be nicer than this? Well how about the three beauties cooing and calling for him to come closer, ooooh, ooooh Brock come closer!
Delighted with this unexpected turn of events Brock charges forward, but as he runs the picturesque scene changes to a windy and desolate one. Looking around for the missing beauties, he is shocked to see a redhot meteor hurtling right towards him. It crashes into him and he is sent deep into the earth, spiralling round and round screaming for mercy before suddenly sitting bolt upright in bed.
Ahhh, it was all a dream.
He holds Pineco in his hands, the obvious source of the meteorite, and besides him sits an embarassed looking Golbat (hopefully not the source of the beauties). Apparently these two have been watching over him as he sleeps, because they're true blue friends.
And maybe because they're scared Ash will try to give them a haircut with Cyndaquils Flamethrower.
Just then Brock heres cries from Misty and Ash outside, lines that are hilarious when taken out of context and thus shall be done so here.
"You're doing it all wrong, Ash!" snaps Misty, a common complaint for him obviously.
"I'm only trying to pitch in!" grunts Ash sourly, indicating that his technique may be why he always gets it wrong in the first place.
Brock decides to head out to see what is going on but Golbat uses Supersonic to knock him back down into bed, then Pineco jumps on top of him and....
Pretty sure there was a fanfic that started like that once.
....Brock realises that they want him to stay in bed and get some rest. He agrees and Pineco appears to hump his face in delight.
Yeah, DEFINATELY a fanfic.
Outside Ash is heading out to do the Hunter/Gatherer thing, using Cybdaquil, Bulbasaur, Totodile, Chikorita and Pikachu to help him hunt down a wild herd of ferocious apples so they can have fruit for lunch. Misty on the other hand will stay behind and provide a horribly outdated role-model for young asian girls by doing all the cleaning and looking after the sick.
Ash heads on out but to his dismay none of the apple trees appear to have any apples. Where could they all be?
Enter Team Rocket.
Yes those beloved 'villains' are at it again, using a powerful vacuum to suck apples right off of trees and into cannisters they are loading onto a trailer. They play to eat some and process and sell others to make a profit, hopefully enough to retire on.
But this rampant capitalism is halted in its tracks by the arrival of an angry Ash who demands to know what it is they're doing.
"Mind your own business, we're not here making trouble!" snaps Jesse.
"We're just picking fruit so scram on the double!" growls James, "Now leave us along before we pick on you!"
"Could you spare a few apples for my friend, Brock?" asks a bewildered Ash, having realised that all they're doing is picking free apples from the free tree, and there is nothing he can about that.
Proposition 718 people, make your feelings known!
"WOBBUFFET!" endorses Wobbuffet, leaping out of its pokeball.
Jesse and James shove it down out of the way and then, having started, cannot stop going with their motto.
"To protect the world from devestation."
"To unite all peoples within our nation."
"To denounce the evils of truth and love."
"To extend our reach to the stars above."
"Jesse."
"James."
"Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light."
"Surrender now or prepare to fight, fight, fight, fight!"
"WOBBBB-BUHHHHH...." starts Wobbuffet, but is once again knocked down, this time by Meowth.
"MEOWTH! Dat's right!" finishes the happy scratch-cat.
Well Team Rocket WERE only engaged in legitimate enterprise but now they figure what the hell. Turning their 'power-picker' on Ash, they suck Pikachu into an apple cannister and then prepare to do battle with the rest of Ash's Pokemon. Arbok leaps out and Victreebell follows suit at James' command, but ignores his instructions to stop the twerp from beating them in favour of another in a long line of oral sex jokes.
"I said beat us! Not eat us!" cries James.
Arbok tries a Poison Sting Attack but Totodile smashes through that with a Water Gun which also knocks down Arbok. Then Cyndaquil uses Flamethrower which burns Pikachu free, allowing it to hit Team Rocket with a Thunder Bolt Attack. The electricity meshes with what is apparently natures version of C4, grass, creating a giant explosion that sends Team Rocket blasting off again!
By a stroke of luck, the explosion didn't touch the trailer of apple cannisters that Team Rocket were standing RIGHT FREAKING NEXT TO and Bulbasaur points them out. Ash happily steals them from the people who picked them and then got blown up by him, taking them back to show off to Misty.
Meanwhile Brock stands amongst the clouds, looking at two Butterfree, a mating pair perhaps? Nothing could be nicer than this could it? Well yes it could, those three beauties are back!
They call to him, begging him to come closer, ooooh come closer! He charges towards them but falls through the clouds and falls and falls, screaming for someone to save him, save him, SAAAAVE HIM!
Hitting the floorboards as he falls out of his dream AND his bed, Brock finds himself staring up at a confused Ash and Misty, who have brought him cut up pieces of the apples they stole from Team Rocket.
"Ash! Misty! Where am I? Where did all the girls go?" asks Brock desperately.
"I'm the only girl here, Brock," sighs Misty, "Are you sure you're all right?"
Brock sits up sheepishly and accepts the apple pieces from Ash. He gulps one down and almost chokes, Golbat patting his back with a wing. But he is hungry and the apples are delicious, so he eats some more as Misty suggests his rising appetite must mean he is getting less sick. Even so, Ash suggests he take an afternoon snooze and Brock accidentally lets slip he means to chase after those girls even faster this time! A confused Ash and Misty have no idea what he's talking about....
Again, it's called puberty.
....and he tries to fob it off as nothing, though his red cheeks are perhaps flustered more by embarassment than sickness.
Hell, even Golbat looks embarassed for him.
But they put him back to bed and then head outside where we are treated to stock footage of the Pokemon playing and sleeping from the start of the episode. As the lazy animators show their contempt for our ability to retain knowledge, Ash gets to cutting wood for the fire, using an axe and showing surprising strength, while Misty attempts to cook.
Unfortunately Misty, despite her earlier attempt to be a good housewife, is NOT your typical happy baking cookies and playing with dollies girl. She has no idea how to cook and even WITH Brocks instructions, she is making a hash of it.
That wouldn't be such a bad thing if she was making hash, but as she appears to be making some kind of stew, it don't look good.
She adds what may be salt instead of sugar to the pot, then adds in too much sugar, then tries to counteract that with salt. Getting flustered, she is also concerned that the meal will be much too bland and thus adds a little tomato sauce, then mayonnaise, then soy sauce, then worcestershire, wasabi, garlic powder, cheyenne pepper, curry paste and much much more! OH HO! SHE LOVES COOKING!
God take pity on the man she marries, even Psyduck looks like it wants to roll its eyes.
That night a terrified Ash sits staring with a large sweatdrop on the side of his forehead at the purple..... thing.... in the cookpot.
"It's my own recipe which I call Misty's mystery stew, and it's got forty seven secret ingredients!" gushes Misty, handing a bowl to Ash.
"It looks.... real good," Ash stammers through gritted teeth.
Misty snaps at Ash's insistence that he must have eaten too many apples earlier that day and thus has lost his appetite for dinner. She knows that he thinks she isn't a good cook but she means to prove him wrong! She takes a bite of her own concoction and struggles to keep her eyes escaping their sockets as she insists that it has a unique flavour all of its own, and then continues to eat just to show Ash how wrong he is.
Later that night Ash and Misty prepare to sleep outside of the cabin in order to let Brock get a good nights rest. ALL of the Pokemon are also sleeping outside, rather than inside of their Pokeballs, but luckily the twerps don't have a history of being chased by persistently determined Pokemon Thieves.
PHEW!
Ash and Misty lay side by side (IN DIFFERENT SLEEPING BAGS YOU PERVES!) and discuss how hard Brock works for them, noting that they have to start being more grateful, then they say goodnight and try to get to sleep.
By remarkable chance, a trio of persistently determined criminals are watching from the bushes. With the twerps sleeping outside it is their perfect chance to capture Pikachu (and maybe the other twenty odd Pokemon?), and James and Meowth can barely wait. But Jesse seems less enthusiastic, more concerned with eating the delicious stew she found just sitting on a bench.
Yes Jesse is eating Misty's mystery stew with forty seven secret ingredients! She loves it! She thinks it is delicious, she has to have more!
She used to eat snow for a treat as a little girl folks.
But James and Meowth are willing to give it a go, they whip out their spoons (such symbolism!), James' being bent (SYMBOLISM++), and take a bite, and immediately look like they've eaten the ass end of a lemon.'
"Hey! What's the matter with you two?" asks Jesse, "Don't you like it?"
"Well it ain't dat I don't like it, Jesse," sighs Meowth, spoon sticking to the roof of his mouth, "It's dat I hate it."
But Jesse loves it, she goggles it down, crying with delight and even offering some to Wobbuffet, which faints!
Meowth snaps at her to drop the slop and concentrate on their Pikachu plan, then admits sadly that they don't actually have a plan. But they have to figure out a way to capture Pikachu without waking up all the other Pokemon.
Of course, as James suggests, why not just capture the other Pokemon too?
And so it is that a sleeping Chikorita, Cyndaquil, Totodile and Bulbasaur are awoken from their sleep by Ash's voice. Looking up they see a hideously 2-dimensional Ash with a flapping cut out mouth telling them to come and play with him, and he has food too!
They all look over their shoulders at Ash sleeping behind them..... AND THEN START HEADING HAPPILY TOWARDS THE ASH CUT OUT!
Only Bulbasaur is any smarter, running after them to try and stop them but only succeeding in getting pulled up in the net with them by Jesse, James and Meowth who were using a bullhorn programmed with Ash's voice to trick them.
Ash and Misty wake up groggily, unsure what is going on.
"Prepare for trouble, sleepyheads!" laughs Jesse.
"Don't make it double, just stay in your beds," adds James.
Meowth leaps out at them yelling to cut the motto, they haven't even caught Pikachu yet and they've already woken the twerps up! Still, they might not have Pikachu but they did get a nice assortment.
"They got Bulbasaur and Chikorita!" cries Ash, who apparently can't add, retain facts, or recognise his own Pokemon.
"Cyndaquil and Totodile too!" points out Misty, covering for Ash's stupidity.
Team Rocket scarper carrying the net with them, Ash and Misty giving chase while Brock.... well what about Brock?
Standing on a beach staring out over a clear blue sea Brock is so pleased, what could be nicer than this?
THOSE THREE BEAUTIES ARE BACK!
Brock turns and runs towards the cooing beauties, never getting any closer until suddenly a wave washes over him and sends him sweeping away.... and awake in his bed with Golbat and Pineco trying to get his attention.
He looks out the window and sees Ash, Misty and a bunch of Pokemon rushing over the hill. Instantly Brock puts 2 and 2 together and comes up with Team Rocket.
Hey his maths ain't great but he gets results!
Ash and Misty chase a giggling Team Rocket through the forest, not noticing that they take special care to skip over a certain section of the ground. Ash and Misty rush headlong on and smash hard into the pit-trap left by a cunning Jesse and James. The other Pokemon gather around and stare down at the not so dynamic duo as Team Rocket lift into the air in their Happy Buddha Face Meowth Balloon, complete with attached propellers on extended girders to give them extra lifting power. Why do they need that? Well in between puns about holes (not those kind of holes you sick puppies) Team Rocket grab all of the gathered Pokemon with metal claws, including the heavy, Ga-Roaring Onix. Hitting the jets they begin to lift as Ash, Misty and Pikachu crawl out of the hole just in time for Pikachu to be grabbed and thrown into an electric proof cannister.
Ash tries his never-successful tactic of yelling what he wants really loudly in the hopes it'll just happen, but Team Rocket ignore him and begin to sail away. They've finally done it, executed the perfect crime and now about to execute the perfect getaway.... and then Golbat swoops by and cuts a hole in the balloon sending them crashing to the ground.
The Pokemon rush away from Team Rocket and rejoin Ash and Misty as Brock appears, carrying Pineco with him. Of course Team Rocket's seconds are numbered now, and it isn't long before they're sent blasting off again courtesy of a Thunderbolt from Pikachu.
The next day finds a tired Ash and Misty stumbling to the breakfast table where Brock has prepared the oatmeal Ash found so tiresome the previous day. Now that he has had to try and cook himself though, he thinks that oatmeal is just fanfreakingtastic!
Brock himself appears to be feeling a lot better, telling them he's back in the pink (he wishes) but Ash and Misty admonish him, worried that he might relapse and leave them to have to cook and clean for themselves again.
So Brock agrees to take a quick nap and get some rest, in the hope of FINALLY catching those girls. Soon after breakfast he makes good on his promise and gets into bed, dreaming of running towards the girls and this time, THIS TIME, finally reaching them.
And we get treated to the sight of the sleeping Brock lying in bed with his arm hidden beneath the sheets moaning that he doesn't want to wake up. Isn't that just charming!
Kids show my ass!
| BEST QUOTES |
 "It's my own recipe which I call Misty's mystery stew, and it's got
forty seven secret ingredients!" "I said beat us! Not eat us!" |
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