187: The Stolen Stones
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With Snowtop raping the sky in the distance behind them, they move through a canyon nervously. The high walls look dangerously unstable, large boulders set atop the walls looking none too secure.
Suddenly, unexpectedly some boulders that are only monotone rather than fully textured and shaded like all the others break free and fall towards them. The twerps are horrified and doomed, there is no waY they can escape in time. This is the end for them, dying beneath rocks an ignominous end to their Pokemon Journey. Farewell fair twerps, we knew thee well....
....tigerkittenpuppys save the day!
Yes giant puppys with tiger stripes have appeared from nowhere and the twerps have been pulled to safety. The Arcanines - an evolved form of Growlithe - are ridden by a brother and sister duo by the name of Ramona (older sister) and Keegan (younger brother).
Ramona is tall and slim, right up Brock's alley (though he'd rather be right up hers) and he takes no time to introduce himself to her once they've been pulled to safety.
Falling onto all fours he promises to worship the surprised looking girl, telling her he will be putty in her hands.
"You may be putty to her but you're nutty to me," grunts Misty, grabbing him by the ear as usual and pulling him away.
Ash could care less about his mother-figures obsession with the 'people like guys only with bumps on their chests and not in their pants' he's more interested in the Arcanine. He's never seen one up close before.
"Arcanine, a legendary Pokemon, the evolved form of the Growlithe. Arcanine is known for its bravery, and fierce loyalty. Growlithe evolve into Arcanine, with use of a, fire stone," Dexter explains to him.
Indeed Keegan has a bag of those very fire stones, but they don't belong to him. He is delivering them to a town on the other side of the mountain where they will be used as prizes for a Fire Pokemon tournament. Ramona and Keegan are apparently couriers, they run a delivery service using the Arcanines. This sounds exciting and adventerous to the twerps, and they say so.
Yes, being a delivery boy is much more exciting than being drifters who travel through towns solving crimes, defeating villains and taking part in battle tournaments.
Regardless of the merits or otherwise of everybodys chosen career path, Keegan and Ramona do appear to have a use. They offer to help Ash and company get to Olivine City a lot faster (oh sweet Jesus please yes) they offer to give them a lift on the Arcanines. Ash rides with Keegan, Misty with Ramona and Brock just tries his level best not to be thrown by the bumpy ride he gets riding solo on the third Arcanine.
Brock going solo eh? Who'da thunk it! Unfortunately they're just going too damn fast for everyones liking. Even though they're only getting a lift to the next town this much progress means they might actually make it to Olivine City before the next millennium! So they stop for a lunch break where Ash, Keegan and Ramona groom the Arcanine. Keegan offers to teach Ash how to ride and the young idiot eagerly takes him up on the offer. He screws it all up but after having things explained to him begins to learn how to lean just so to make Arcanine go in the direction he wants. All seems to be going well, Ash actually seems to be doing pretty well.... but of course it was never going to last. He screws up pretty damn quickly when Arcanine jumps a pond and Ash is sent tumbling to the ground..... and then a big rocket smashes into the earth!
See! If you ever took horseriding lessons you may have wondered why they went through such a long process of telling you what to do! It was because if you got thrown a rocket would hit the earth!
An extendable hand reaches out of the rocket and grabs the bag of firestones from where it has been carelessly left on the ground. Even dimwitted Ash is smart enough to figure this one out, a rocket, an extendable hand, the fact that it's an episode of Pokemon, this can only be one group.
"It's too late to prepare for trouble!"
"We stole the firestones on the double!"
Jesse and James emerge from the rocket in all their glory.
"To protect the world from devestation."
"To unite all peoples within our nation."
"To denounce the evils of truth and love."
"To extend our reach to the stars above."
"Jesse!"
"James!"
"Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light."
"Surrender now or prepare to fight, fight, fight!"
"Dat's right!" cries Meowth, sliding into shot holding the extendable arm with the bag of firestones in it.
Ash reacts in his typical fashion, calling for Pikachu to zap the true heroes of Pokemon. But Meowth grabs Pikachu with another extendable arm, this one made of rubber to absorb electricity.
Arcanine leaps in, bashing Pikachu free of the arm, and then all three of the Arcanine use Firespin - a kind of personal forcefield of fire - that just misses Team Rocket. The lucky trio know that they've used up all their luck with the suddenness of their entry, and they have to make a similarly sudden exit if they want to escape. But Team Rocket can never just exit, they have to MAKE an exit.
So they dramatically announce they plan to use their rockets back up escape system and leap back inside the rocket. The twerps, Ramona and Keegan watch on nervously, whatever this thing is it must be impressive... and then all is revealed! The hatch in the rocket opens, white light spilling out from inside and then.....
TEAM ROCKET FLY OUT ON A THREE SEATER BICYCLE!
Yes we've reached a whole other level here people.
Pedalling their hardest to escape, Team Rocket find themselves easily paced by the Arcanine on both sides. Ramona demands that they stop at once and, to everyones surprise, they do! The bike skids to a halt so quickly that the Arcanine zoom by, and when they finally manage to pull to a stop it is right over a pit trap prepared earlier by a surprisingly devious Team Rocket!
Team Rocket have outsmarted the good guys!
The twerps were left behind by Ramona and Keegan and when they catch up they help the brother and sister out of the hole they fell into. Brock sends Golbat off to find Team Rocket if it can, but all it finds is the end of the bicycle track and a confused mess of foot and paw prints leading in different directions. It seems Jesse, James and Meowth have gone their seperate ways and the twerps have no idea which one of them took the stones with them.
So it is decided that they will split up. The intelligent thing to do is for Ramona and someone (Brock will volunteer) to take one Arcanine after one set of tracks, Keegan and Misty to take another Arcanine and follow another set of tracks, and as Ash has had some very limited training, he can take the third Arcanine after the third set of tracks.
That being the intelligent thing to do, they instantly split into two groups, Ramona taking Misty and Brock with her with two Arcanines, and Keegan and Ash taking the third. They set off in two different directions, creating a 33% chance that the fire stones are just going to get away.
You don't end up making a career out of being a courier because you're a freaking genius, it would seem.
Ramona, Brock and Misty move along following the track through the forest, and lo and behold there is the sack of fire stones right there on a stump! Well that was just so easy! They rush forward and.... well if you guessed this ends with a hole in the ground and them in it, you guessed right.
James comes out of the shrubbery riding a unicycle and giggling happily. He knew they'd never expect a trap so soon, and he's really outdone himself this time. This pit is twice as deep because he added 100% more hole!
Meanwhile Jesse is also on a unicycle a little further off in the forest. She is being chased by Ash and Keegan on their Arcanine. Ash demands that Keegan stay on Jessešs tail until she gets tired out....
Damn, at least buy her dinner first!
....but Jesse just giggles and disappears into the undergrowth. Ash and Keegan burst through after her and find themselves in a battle arena!
Jesse wants to fight!
Ash and Pikachu step up against Arbok, who tries a Poison Sting attack straight away. Pikachu dodges with Agility, avoiding Acid and then a Wrap attack as well before knocking Arbok out for the count with a Thunderbolt. Just like that the battle is over and done with. Jesse admits defeat and throws the sack with the firestones into the middle of the arena. Ash, Keegan and the Arcanine run straight into the middle of the arena and of course fall into yet another pit! Keegan does something to his arm (he needs to build up the muscles in his arm, like Brock.... who at least has ONE strong arm) and of course the sack has now spilled open to reveal fakes. Jesse has completely outwitted them again. Things really aren't looking too good at the moment.
Hands up who guesses what happens next. If you guessed that Ash has to ride the Arcanine you win. If you guessed that Ash turns out to be a hired assasin with a cute but deadly daughter..... what kind of crack do you be smoking, brudda!?!
Jesse grabs Pikachu with the extendable arm, shoves the french rat into a shock proof cage and just generally lords it up over Ash.
"I'll show her!" cries Ash and scrambles halfway up the pit before the laws of nature, God and the Universe catch up with him and he falls back to the bottom with a large rock on his chest.
So, if Jesse's stones turned out to be fake (a million fanboys breath a sigh of relief) then who had the real ones? James? Not at all, the fire stones were entrusted into the paws of one Meowth!
Meowth sits with the fire stones waiting for Jesse and James to rendezvous with him. Jesse and James arrive with Pikachu, Wobbuffet pops out to say its own name and then just like that Team Rocket head off, victorious.
They've won!
As Team Rocket head away with fire stones and Pikachu, safely assured of victory and escape as long as they don't stop for a celebratory banquet anywhere close by or anything (thunder rumbles in the distance), Ash is helping Keegan out of the pit. Keegans arm remains screwed up and he is unable to be lead rider on the Arcanine. This of course can mean only one thing, Ash must be the one to lead while Keegan rides behind him as a passenger. They climb on and Ash tries to get control of the legendary Pokemon, riding them through trees and getting admonishment from Keegan for trying to control Arcanine when he should be one with nature and feel the wind in his heart and smile with the joy of universal harmony, or some other crap.
Whatever the case, it seems to work and suddenly Ash is a master rider (apparently it doesn't take much to master riding Arcanine). But being able to ride well doesn't mean anything if you can't find who you're looking for, and by that night they still have no idea where Team Rocket are.
And where are they?
Why they're having a celebratory banquet! (Thunder rumbles much closer now)
Yes rather than making their escape Team Rocket have gone deeply into debt to pay for a big banquet to celebrate making their escape they haven't actually made yet. James is concerned about the money but with the cash they'll get for selling the fire stones and giving Pikachu to the Boss, surely they'll be okay.
As they get ready to kick the festivities into high gear, further off Brock, Misty and Ramona have finally gotten free. By the time Team Rocket has finished eating, enough time has passed for that thunder to rumble right overhead.... yes Ash, Keegan and their Arcanine have just stumbled onto Team Rocket!
Wobbuffet is quite literally shoved into the battle by a terrified Jesse, which uses its reversing moves to surprisingly put a whupping onto Arcanine and allow them time to jump into the Happy Buddha Face Meowth Balloon!
But now Ramona and her two Arcanine are on the scene, running up Onix's back (which got them out of the pit in the first place) and leaping off of it to to burst through the balloon with a Fire Spin that sends them plummeting down to earth.
Ash gets Pikachu back and before Arbok has much of a chance to do anything about it, Arcanine levels it with a Takedown. Team Rocket try and flee (far too late) and the Arcanine use Extreme Speed to easily bypass them, Pikachu leaping into the air and using a Thunderbolt to send Team Rocket, you guessed it, blasting off again.
Why didn't they just fly away after getting Pikachu for the first time! Oh why oh why!?!?!
With the fire stones back in their possession, Ramona and Keegan deliver them to their proper destination and then say their goodbyes to the twerps. Brock surprisingly (or maybe not so surprisingly) offers to abandon his friends to stay with Ramona. But Misty tugs him away followed by Ash who walks away waving to Keegan and Ramona who return the waves of goodbye.
And maybe Misty shouldn't have been so hasty with Brock, perhaps Ramona might have been different to all the other girls?
Why you ask? Well maybe it's just a slight body language thing, but the way she gyrated her crotch while waving goodbye was perhaps a fairly good indicator!
And if you don't believe me gentle Dodgers, just go watch the episode yourselves!
| BEST QUOTES |
 "This time I've outdone myself. This pit's twice as deep because I've added 100% more hole!" "Let's eat, drink & get indigestion!" |
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