179: From Ghost to Ghost
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"Gengar, the Shadow, Pokemon," Dexter begins, "The evolved form of Haunter..... details, about Gengar, are, unknown!"
Well, that was helpful!
Still, even though Ash has never had a Gym Battle against Ghost Pokemon, he at least knows the identity of ONE of the Pokemon Morty will use, and that gives him a chance to develop a strategy.
Ash.... strategy?
A nearby kid appears to be playing a Gameboy with the volume turned WAAAAY up, as the 'Pokemon Healing' music familiar to millions from the Pokemon Game suddenly plays. By a remarkable coincidence, Nurse Joy shows up with Ash's healed Pokemon at the same time! Pikachu leaps from Nurse Joy's shoulder to Ash's as Ash explains to Joy that he has a battle today with Morty, and is unsure how to deal with Ghost Pokemon. Nurse Joy doesn't really help matters for the nervous trainer by telling him that most people who challenge Morty have a tough time, then lamely offers that Ash has a Noctowl, which will prove useful.
Remembering how Noctowl dispelled the illusion of fire in the old Tin Tower and revealed the Gastly, Ash picks up the Pokeball containing Noctowl - so distinguished by the way it looks identical to EVERY OTHER FREAKING POKEBALL HE OWNS EXCEPT FOR TOTODILES AND PIKACHUS - while Brock agrees with Joy.... probably in the hope of getting him a little somefin-somefin.
Inside the Gym itself, Morty is giving a lecture to a group of kids about effective methods of using Ghost Pokemon. It's all about the kids, after all, and Morty does a lot of good work in the community.... not that any of that excuses him from having that GASTLY mullet.
You've all just been PUN-ished!
Gengar is confronted by a group of Gastly, seriously outnumbering the powerful Ghost Pokemon. But one simple Confuse Ray later, all of the Gastly are confused and flying around slamming into each other. Morty explains to the kids that while Ghost Pokemon are not physically strong, they have psychic and supernatural abilities that can be as powerful if not more so than standard physical attacks. His lecture is interrupted as an Junior-Trainer brings the twerps into the Gym, Ash ready to battle for his fourth badge at last.
Morty explains to Ash that part of his duty as a Gym Leader is to help teach younger trainers/would-be trainers about Pokemon, but he is more than ready for a battle. He sends the Gastly away, then asks Ash if it would be alright for the kids to watch their battle. The kids bow respectfully and call Ash Mr Ketchum, which impresses the young twerp enough to agree to let them stay..... little realising that they're all eager to watch Morty put a beating on the uppity kid from the Indigo League.
High above the city in the Happy Buddha Face Meowth Balloon, an excited James has his hands on the treasure detector that he claims to have lost while being blasted off again last episode!
"Look Meowth!" he gushes, "My treasure detector is working again!"
"It worked before?" asks Meowth, chowing down on a 'rice ball'.
"Luckily it was blasted away along with us," lies James, covering a continuity flaw, "And the closer we get to Ecruteak the more treasure it detects!"
"I wish you'd come to your senses, James," sighs Jesse, eating a 'rice ball' of her own and ignoring James' GAS, "The only thing that contraption does is detect junk."
"On the contrary Jesse, it's a MIRACLE!" squeals James happily, whipping out his coin collection, "Without this I would have had to swindle dozens of young collectors to get jewels like these!"
"WOBBUFFET!" agrees Wobbuffet, popping out of its Pokeball and saluting bravely.
"Explain to me wot's da big deal about a buncha bottlecaps," mutters Meowth.
"Wobbuffet!" agrees Wobbuffet. "If you had any sense of history," chuckles James, flicking back his hair as Wobbuffet 'wobbuhs' at the camera, "No explanation would be necessary!"
"Wobbuffet!" agrees Wobbuffet.
"Quiet or you'll be history!" snaps Jesse at Wobbuffet, as she tries to enjoy her favourite hobby - stuffing balls into her mouth!
Before any of you can getcha minds outta da gutta though, James' treasure detector goes off. He rushes to look over the side and sees the two tin towers far below.
Meowth recognises the older tower as the one they were at the previous day, James insisting that the treasure detector is never wrong and there must be something of value down there.
"It may not seem possible but... there's a remote chance you may be right about that James!" Jesse says, "Perhaps we should investigate further!"
"Wobbuhh..." starts Wobbuffet, taking up the camera.
"Yes very nice, go lean over the side," Jesse mutters distractedly, pushing Wobbuffet offscreen.
Team Rocket lands and head in the direction that the treasure detector indicates, passing by a window and noticing Morty and Ash inside preparing for battle.
James giggles that maybe they'll get two treasures today and heads off.
"Maybe!" giggle Jesse and Meowth together and prepare to leave.
"Wobbuffet!" cries Wobbuffet, causing Meowth and Jesse to pratfall.
Inside the Gym, the referee goes through the basic rules. The match is for the Fog Badge, it is a three on three match, with Ash able to substitute Pokemon but Morty prohibited from doing so. With the technicalities out of the way, the battle begins!
Morty calls out Gastly to start with, and Ash pulls a bonehead play by revealing his secret weapon, calling out Noctowl to start! Ash appears to be confident in natures wrath at those who dare to bear mullets though. Noctowl sends out a Hypnosis Attack to begin with, but Gastly is remarkably fast and easily dodges. It reappears in front of Noctowl ready to unleash a Confusion Attack, but Noctowl moves in to tackle and Gastly is forced to dodge. Both Pokemon dance about, Noctowl trying to tackle and Gastly dodging, too fast for the winged Pokemon to catch up to.
Ash changes tactics, calling on Noctowl to use Foresight. Red beams of light erupt from Noctowl's eyes and reveal Gastly, unable to hide it's form any longer and now vulnerable to physical attacks. Once more Noctowl fires ahead to Tackle... but once again Gastly dodges!
"Just because physical attacks can work," smirks Morty smugly, "Doesn't mean they WILL work!" Brock states the obvious, knowing that the obvious is a little beyond Ash's usual level of thinking. If he wants Noctowl to physically damage Gastly, it will have to get Gastly to stay still. Ash attempts to get Noctowl to use Hypnosis, but Gastly dodges again, reappears behind the flying Pokemon and..... tries to lick it!
Yes the dreaded Lick Attack! Noctowl tries to fly away from the unwanted sexual advances but gets slapped around the head by the long tongue and begins to fall. Knowing that if it's knocked out, he doesn't stand a chance of beating Morty - mullet or not - Ash recalls Noctowl.
Brock tries to talk up Ash's chances, pretending for the benefit of Morty's watching students that it was actually strategy on Ash's behalf to call his one useful Pokemon out first. Now that Foresight has been used on Gastly, any and all physical attacks from other Pokemon will work... provided they can touch it.
Jesse and Meowth are watching the match from the window while James hunts for treasure.
"This is a lot more interesting than digging," Jesse notes.
"James is missing a very interesting match here," agrees Meowth.
"JESSE! MEOWTH! I FOUND SOMETHING!" yells James, rushing towards them only to be overpowered by Jesse and gagged....
....some people would pay for that privilege!
"Will you shut your mouth!" she hisses.
"Pipe down ya lamebrain, or you'll get us caught!" "Mmmmm, mmmmm!" mmmmm, mmmmm's James, breaking free, "My detector was right, there's treasure over in that room there!"
He points towards a small raised cabin and Jesse and Meowth practically drool with delight.
Back inside, Ash calls Pikachu in to battle, knowing that Foresight has made Gastly vulnerable to physical attacks. Pikachu uses Quick Attack, moving so fast that it slams into Gastly before it can move, knocking it crashing into the ground.
And it gets back up!
The supposedly physically weak Ghost-Type has been raised well, and recovering from the Quick Attack, it easily avoids a Thundershock and then smacks Pikachu down with Nightshade!
And Pikachu don't get back up!
Beaten like a wife in Alabama, Pikachu is out for the count and a bitter disappointment to Ash. He places Pikachu by his backpack, tells it to have a good rest, then calls out Cyndaquil - figuring that where his powerful electric mouse failed, his infantile little fire mouse will succeed!
Inside the treasure-cabin, Team Rocket rifle through crates and shelves. Meowth is contemplating breaking into the Gym itself and having a go at capturing Pikachu, but Jesse has her priorities straight. They're broke and they need money to support themselves, so it makes more sense to get the treasure than have a go at Pikachu. James finds a charm inside of a crate and teases Meowth with it, who jumps into the hunt for more treasure, their only argument now how much they should take.... until they sense something behind them. Turning around, they shriek as they spot Gastly after Gastly staring with sinister grins at them, and then their eyes turn red.......
Cyndaquil attempts a Flamethrower Attack, but in a shock move it turns out that Gastly hasn't suddenly aged 10000 years and become slow, and it dodges the long distance, easily spotted attack. Gastly attempts a Nightshade that Cyndaquil dodges by using its Quick Attack, and then Morty attempts to finish off Cyndaquil like he almost finished off Noctowl. But here Ash displays his inventive use of some attacks, as he orders Cyndaquil to Tackle Gastly even though it floating high above it. So that when Gastly spits out it's tongue, Cyndaquil simply rushes up the tongue and smashes into Gastly, knocking it down and.... yes, out!
It's one each between Morty and Ash, but Morty seems unconcerned, he has seen all the Pokemon that Ash plans to use and, quite frankly, neither he nor his mullet is overly impressed. He calls out Haunter to battle next, which easily dodges a Flamethrower from Cyndaquil..... it's even faster than Gastly was!
Morty commands Haunter to use Mean Look, and Cyndaquil stares in shock at Haunter as it face glows.... and then its Flamethrower goes out! Mean Look has worked, Ash now must finish the battle with Cyndaquil, he can not call it back!
Misty doesn't exactly think this is fair, the rules of the Gym Match state that Ash CAN substitute Pokemon, but as Brock points out, it IS a legitimate move and trainers are supposed to earn their Gym Badges by showing Gym Leaders their skill... and part of that is how they deal with difficult situations like this.
With Cyndaquil trapped, Haunter attempts Hypnosis but Cyndaquil blocks it with Smokescreen. It's not safe though, as Haunter's disembodied hands reach down into the smoke and pull Cyndaquil out, then Haunter proceeds to......... lick..... Cyndaquil.....
Okay, there's some freaky mullet shiznit going on here!
Ash tries to recall Cyndaquil and Brock once again explains to him that when he said Ash wouldn't be able to call Cyndaquil back, he meant that Ash COULDN'T call Cyndaquil back, not that he could if he tried enough.
Almost contemptuously, Haunter throws Cyndaquil into the ground far below, knocking it out and putting Ash down 2-1, with only one Pokemon left to use!
"Haaaah, all my favourite Sushi!" sighs Jesse happily, sitting before a pink sparkly backdrop as transparent food flashes by her.
"Aaahh, banquets every day," sighs a blushing James.
"Aaah, catfood dat don't taste like a cat!" sighs Meowth, hearts in his eyes.
Team Rocket are sitting in a small triangle, smiling and happy, seemingly unaware of all the amused Gastly surrounding them, using Hypnosis
to screw with our beloved heroes heads.
"Oooh!" they all oooh together as they spot a table in the distance with food atop.
"Look, it's a feast for the eyes," smiles Jesse.
"Oh yeah," agrees James.
"And for da stomach too!" chimes in Meowth.
"Let's eat!" they all cry and rush forward laughing, but when they try and grab the table it zooms ahead, and they give chase languidly, actually running on the spot as the Gastly watch and chuckle with amusement.
Inside the Gym, Haunter and Noctowl fly alongside each other, then Haunter disappears! But Noctowl is prepared for this, using Foresight to spot Haunter and make it vulnerable to attack. Haunter attempts to grab at Noctowl with it's disembodied hands, but Noctowl dodges aside, then avoids the hands again as they're joined by Haunter's disturbingly long tongue. Noctowl attempts Hypnosis as Haunter tries a Confuse Ray, the two attacks crashing into each other and exploding.... though unfortunately for Noctowl the Confuse Ray was more powerful and lightly affects it!
Noctowl crashes to the ground in front of Ash, getting up with lines through its eyes.... it is confused! It might hurt itself in its confusion!
Noctowl attempts a Tackle Attack as Haunter prepares a Nightshade Attack. Before it can let if off though, Noctowl crashes into Haunter and the Nightshade goes off prematurely. Another explosion rocks the gym.... and out of the dust emerges Noctowl, no longer confused and looking mightily pissed off!
There ain't but one Pokemon that pimps out confusing effects on innocent Pokemon, and that's Noctowl! It ain't letting no Haunter step up to its territory and taking over its market!
Noctowl's headfeathers begin to glow strangely, Brock suggesting that it may have just learned a new Attack.... possibly Confusion! As Morty commands Haunter to use its hands once more, Noctowl lets loose with Confusion at Ash's command..... and a blast of blue light crashes into Haunter and sends that bitch down for the count!
DON'T STEP TO NOCTOWL ON ITS OWN BLOCK, BIZATCH!
Morty is as surprised as anyone that Noctowl learnt a new Attack in the middle of a battle. But though it's impressive, he didn't invite his students to watch him and his mullet get his ass kicked. He calls out Gengar to finish things off.... it's time to get serious!
Gengar kicks things off hardcore right from the beginning, creating a Shadowball as Noctowl attempts Confusion again. The two attacks slam into each other, Shadowball wiping out Confusion but then setting itself off prematurely. Just the wind from the explosion is enough to make everyone wince though, that Gengar is powerful!
Noctowl isn't injured though and now its ire is up and it's ready to kick some Ghost Booty! It tries Confusion again to put a quick end to Gengar, but the big Pokemon disappears, the attack missing it. Attempting to locate Gengar and make it vulnerable, Ash calls for Noctowl to use Foresight, but before it can Gengar begins to let rip with Nightshade Attacks... while still invisible! Unable to use Foresight because it's constantly dodging the Nightshade Attack, Noctowl appears to be stuck, it can't dodge forever!
As dim as Ash is though, he's smart enough to know one thing, if you can't hit something with pinpoint accuracy, you blast the living crap out of everything in the vicinity and just hope you get lucky!
Hey, it works for the American Military!
Noctowl lets rip with a massive Confusion Attack which permeates the entire building. Morty, the kids, Brock, Misty, Ash, Morty's mullet, they all feel Confusion washing over them.... and then Gengar appears floating near the top of the roof, trying to fight off the effects. Immediately Noctowl uses Foresight and makes it impossible for Gengar to disappear again. Desperate not to be humiliated in front of his pupils, Morty yells for Gengar to use Shadowball again, but Noctowl is ready. With Foresight, it has made Gengar vulnerable to physical attacks, and it flies high through the air and smashes into Gengar with a punishing Tackle Attack. Gengar is slammed into the roof as Noctowl backs off.... and then Gengar falls down, down, down, down and slams into the hard ground of the Gym floor....
AND THAT GHOST DON'T BE GETTING BACK UP!
It's over! Ash has won! Nature's fury has won out and exacted its angry cost on Morty's mullet. The stunned trainer calls Gengar back and tells his beaten, battered Pokemon that it did a great job.... but Ash and Noctowl did a whole lot better!
As the sun sets, the twerps stand outside of the Gym ready to say goodbye to Morty and Ecruteak, which took them so long to reach. Morty presents Ash with the Fog Badge and he celebrates, four badges down and only four to go!
And God have mercy on us all if it takes as long as the last four to get them!
Back above the city we see the small cabin outside of the Gym... and the three figures that tear screaming out of it.
"Ahhh!" scream Team Rocket.
"This is a nightmare!" sobs Jesse.
"It started like a dream!" cries James.
"Da food we wuz gonna eat almost wound up eating us!" explains Meowth, all of them remembering the table of food suddenly growing a mouth and trying to eat them.
"Why did this have to happen!?!?!" asks Jesse, "What a terrible experience this has been!"
"You're right, it's been absolutely GASTLY!" PUN-ishes James.
"WOBBUH!"agrees Wobbuffet, running alongside them even though it wasn't out of its Pokeball inside the cabin, "WOBBUH WOOOHHH!"
As they continue running in horror, Wobbuffet proclaiming its name over and over again, we can only think one thing....
What happened to the motto!?!?!
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 "Aaah, catfood dat don't taste like a cat!"
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