177: Houndoom's Special Delivery
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Yes, the evolved form of Houndoor, a doberman-like Pokemon with sweeping demonic horns, the ability to breath fire and an eerie howl like the wailing of the banshees themselves!
That and a cute little pouch on it's back! Awwwwww how cute!
Speaking of cute, up high above the ground we find our beloved Team Rocket also admiring the scene.
"Ahhh," sighs Jesse happily, holding a cup of tea in one hand, "Just listen to that sweet mountain song."
"Just feel the free fresh mountain air as it rushes through your hair!" rhymes James with a grin, holding his own cup of tea as well.
"Just tink," grins Meowth proudly, "We made tree cups of tea from only one teabag!"
They smile, relax and sip happily at their three delightful cups of tea. And then suddenly Jesse is exploding in a rage at their false serenity.
"WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH US THIS HAS TO STOP IT'S ALL WRONG!" she cries, flinging her cup of tea out of the balloon.
"What's wrong?" asks James.
"You don't like my tea?" smiles a serene Meowth..
"This is no time for sipping and drifting and dreaming!" she growls at them, "We're acting like a bunch of pink slip dotcom slackers!"
James is horrified! He'd never be anything as unfashionable as a failed dotcom exec!
"You're absolutely right!" he cries, "We've been totally ignoring our Team Rocket responsibilities!"
James immediately whips into action, getting stuck between two frames of animation as Meowth notes,"Da Boss sent us tah bring back some rare and valuable Pokemon, and we're gonna do it one o dese years!"
"Ahhh! Luck has struck! There's the twerp and his Pikachu!" proclaims James, spotting the twerps far below.
"Let's keep it simple this time!" gushes Jesse, "Just take one Pokemon at a time!"
"Nuttin fancy!" agrees Meowth, "Just a tried an troo sneak attack!"
The twerps are moving uphill, getting so high that Misty's ears pop. Ash can't wait to see the view, but the view he gets is not a wanted one, Team Rocket!
"Prepare for trouble, today we will triumph!" proclaims Jesse as the Happy Buddha Face Meowth Balloon descends towards the twerps.
"And make it double, with your umph and my umph!" adds James bizarrely.
"To protect the world from devastation."
"To unite all peoples within our nation."
"To denounce the evils of truth and love."
"To extend our reach to the stars above."
"Jesse."
"James."
"We're Team Rocket, blasting off at the speed of light."
"Surrender now or prepare to fight, fight, fight, fight!"
"WOBBUH...." starts Wobbuffet, before being slapped down by Meowth.
"Meowth, dat's right!"
As Ash demands to know what they want (gee, what could it possibly be?), James calls out Weezing to use a Smokescreen. The gas surrounds the twerps and blocks their vision. Arbok launches itself out of the Happy Buddha Face Meowth balloon to feast on tender Pikachu-flesh. But luckily Ash knows that the thin mountain air will cause Arbok to fall at roughly the speed of old. This gives him plenty of time to get Pikachu to leap through the smoke and blast Arbok, crashing it back into the rest of Team Rocket. Inside the Smokescreen, Misty stumbles around, tripping on a pebble and sending Togepi flying out of her hands. The monstrous leech crashes into the ground, rolls out of the smoke and sits up angrily. It looks up and spots the hideous visage of the redraw abortion that is Weezing and chuckles madly. Waving it's clubbed paws about in arcane patterns, Togepi casts the supposedly random Metronome Attack and gets, as usual, exactly the result desired.
Teleporting away from Weezing, Togepi reappears on a treebranch far away, looks at how high it is, and then appears to rape the trunk!?!
Revelling in the freedom of not having to act 'cute and innocent' around Misty, perhaps?
Back in the battle scene, Weezing attempts a tackle on Pikachu but gets tackled back by Pikachu, smashing it back into the basket with the rest of Team Rocket. Ash calls out Chikorita, which uses Razor Leaf to cut a hole in the balloon and send a dejected Team Rocket blasting off like always!
Deeper in the forest the demon-hound Houndoom moves quickly, on its dark quest for who knows what pagan, heathen reasons. But as it moves it hears a noise, and looks up to see the disturbing image of Togepi humping a poor defenceless tree. Surprised, it leaps up treebranch by treebranch and pulls a delighted Togepi down to the ground. Turning to go though, Togepi roars with disapproval, feigning tears. Houndoom is a demonic beast, unused to sympathy, but something in Togepi's keening speaks to it. Hear Togepi's tiny belly rumble as it demands more of Misty's tasty life-energy. The next best thing to s young angry redheaded girls soul though is an apple. Houndoom lets loose with a small burst of flame which drops the apple from the tree, with nary a Charmaine in sight to decry the sudden drop in profits.
It gives the apple to Togepi which gleefully gorges itself on the soft white flesh of the fruit. But as Houndoom begins to leave again, Togepi's keening begins anew. The vile leech has decided that the hellhound shall be it's personal assistant now, and poor Houndoom still has no idea that what Togepi wants, Togepi gets. It tries to leave once again, but finally turns to see what is happening and is shocked to see a Pinsir approaching Togepi. Mother Nature has shown many times in the past a horror at - and determination to end - Togepi's vile presence, and this is represented in a Pinsir today. Houndoom charges the Pinsir, slamming it's horned head into Pinsir's armoured, chittering mouth. Pinsir tries to stand tall and brave but a blast of flamebreath changes its mind and it runs off. Once more Houndoom tries to get the hell away from Togepi, but the monstrous ovoid lets loose with a keening wail that once again draws it back.
Resigned to it's fate, Houndoom lifts Togepi onto its back and sets off once again, unaware of horrors to come that even a Dark Hellhound like itself would shudder at.
Further out Misty's brainwashing has kicked into full gear, as an overwhelming desire to find Togepi overriding all other concerns kicks into Misty's head. She desperately tries to find Togepi, having looked far beyond where the supposedly helpless little egg could ever have made it under it's own steam. Ash finally comes up with a brilliant idea! Maybe a Pokemon that can fly high above the sky and see land stretching out far beneath it might see more that they can!
Boy's gonna go places..... just not Ecruteak City sadly.
He calls out Noctowl as Brock calls on Golbat, hoping that they can find Togepi where they have failed, as millions of people around the world - who have no interest in Pokemon because it was just a fad and disappeared after 3 months :p - around the world hope they develop temporary blindness.
As they look, Houndoom and Togepi have come to a wide stream, the current fast but a series of rocks providing stepping stones for them to get across. Houndoom makes sure Togepi is secure on it's back, then moves agilely from rock to rock.... until Mother Nature roars and strikes again at the horror that is Togepi. Water surges, knocking Houndoom into the water as an enraged Gyrados bursts free from the river. But Houndoom is made of stern stuff, swimming to the other side as Togepi grips onto its tail. Pulling itself out of the water, Houndoom collapses to the ground before Togepi dances off with corrupt glee at having thumbed its nose at Mother Nature once again. It begins clambering drunkenly up the cliff face before you, perhaps thinking to get to the top and roar out it's demonic defiance..... but slips and falls down skidding and screaming in rage... before Houndoom rushes to it's rescue. Taking Togepi to the top of the cliff the two demonic Pokemon find an horrific scene that Lovecraft himself would shudder at..... a Disney dance scene!
Yes happy Pokemon are dancing and playing and singing with that special joy that comes from being pleasant and happy and inoffensive ALL THE TIME! Yes the Mormons of Pokemon are here to entertain us, Bellossom and Ledyba and others all engaged in a merry little boring exultation in the general terrificness of being alive.
Golly!
Togepi of course cannot resist the irony of the devil dancing with Disney and jumps in to get involved. It is thrown about by the exuberant Pokemon and lands on top of the head of a massive Venusaur which grunts, shifts and farts. Houndoom rushes in to protect Togepi and gets a whiff of what Venusaur had for lunch.... and promptly drops to the ground stunned.
Meanwhile Noctowl has unfortunately not been using any of it's own product and has spotted Togepi and Houndoom's footprints. Misty gets upset, immediately thinking that the worst has happened, but as Ash notes, the chances of anything like that happening is low.
We're not that lucky.
Back in the Disney Dance Scene, Togepi awakens Houndoom to amuse it once more and they set off again as Ash, Misty and Brock get close. Coming across the same river that nearly ended the horror that is Togepi, they make their way across the stepping stones and almost share the same fate as Gyrados again splashes past. The breeder (snicker) in Brock pulls at him to find out why such a small Gyrados is around, and whether it's parents are nearby. The subliminal instructions in Misty's mind override all that though and she forces them to continue. Noctowl moves ahead of them in case their eyes suddenly fall out of their sockets and they can't see the footprints in front of them. They climb the cliff-face and come across the Disney Dance Scene which - like It's A Small World - is repeated over and over again day after day, hour after hour as the happy Pokemon dance and play and play and dance and dance and play and are happy forever and ever UNTIL THEY JUST FUCKING SNAP!
Ahem.... yes, anyways, what about Team Rocket you weep? Well weep no longer, we're getting them!
Team Rocket have repaired their Happy Buddha Face Meowth Balloon and are once again on the lookout for the twerps. Jesse is furious, venting her rage as James and Meowth plaster false smiles onto their faces and pray she doesn't turn her rage on them.
"Ooooooooooh, I'm sick of this humiliation!" she hisses, "The next time we come across those twerps we're going to win and they're going to lose!"
Unfortunately first they have the problem of their leaking balloon to contend with. The repair job they did wasn't a very good one, and the balloon begins to lose height as the patch leaks air and they drop faster and faster towards the rapid current of the river.... and then Gyrados bursts loose again! The basket bounces off of Gyrados' head and they thump onto the riverbank, safe as kittens!
Well almost, that hit on the head left the Gyrados with a sore head and it takes out it's anger on Team Rocket, smashing them with a Water Gun that sends them splashing off!
Time for a montage!
Houndoom and Togepi travel about in a series of mini-adventures all in the course of one afternoon. All the while Mother Nature takes the opportunity afforded by the absence of an innocent like Misty to try and wipe out Togepi once and for all. But Thunderstorms, Gyrados and rockfalls are not enough to wipe out a horror like Togepi or it's hell-hound protector. They relax in a hollow tree from the lashing rain of the thunderstorm, Houndoom amusing Togepi with it's tail before the storm lifts leaving behind a thick fog... and an unsettling sense of a nearby presence to rival Togepi's own. They move outside and look about, Togepi bemused but perhaps uncertain as well..... there is something else here.... something...... with a blur it is gone, the barely visible body of a legendary Pokemon zooming away from the unholy presence it senses - Raikou will have none of this Togepi nonsense!
The thunderstorm may not have killed Togepi, but it may have done the next best thing and wiped away any chance of Misty finding it again. The twerps cannot see any more footprints, it looks like it's all over and that Misty will have to go back to being interesting again and having a personality. Before such a horrific thing as a 3 dimensional female character can happen though, Pikachu just happens to notice the cleverly hidden footprints by Houndoom and Togepi...... cleverly hidden right in front of Ash who was too dim to actually spot them. They set off with renewed purpose, desperate to keep the writers of the show from actually having to think up any interesting series developments for Misty.
Togepi meanwhile is having none of the separation pangs that Misty suffers. Instead it comfortably sleeps on Houndoom's back as the hellhound approaches a small farmstead and a collected flock of Mareep. Does it plan to feed? Are we to see fattened Pokemon brought down and torn open for the demon to feast?
Sadly no, as an old man looks up from his position by the Mareep and smiles, greeting Houndoom. He notes Togepi sleeping on its back and then looks up as Ash, Misty and Brock charge towards him. Misty thanks Houndoom for taking care of her Togepi, showing seemingly no concern that her 'baby' has been in the care of a hellhound.
As this touching, sickening reunion takes place, Team Rocket approach, spotting the twerps and the flock of fattened Mareep.
"I love Mareep because they aren't too wild but they're extraordinarily woolly!" giggles James disturbingly.
"Meowth, what's that frighteningly rare looking Pokemon?" Jesse asks Meowth.
"Dat's a Houndoom!" Meowth explains, then whips out an old reliable catchphrase, "Okay, today team, we're gonna catch 'em all!"
The old man removes a razor from Houndoom's pouch, explaining that the Hellhound went into town to pick it up for him so he could shear the Mareep. What other town could it be but Ecruteak!?!?! Surely the twerps can't possibly dawdle any longer, Ecruteak must be reached!
But then distraction strikes like a convenient plot device, a net has dropped around Houndoom and pulled it into the air! Team Rocket is back! Losers yes, but quitters? Never!
"Do me!" curses the rough old farmer at the two scalliwags (ignore the fools who would proclaim that Doomy is the nickname of his hell hound) as Ash calls out Chikorita and has it use Razor Leaf to cut Houndoom free.
Jesse sends out Arbok to fight and James tries to call on Victreebell, with the obligatory headswallowing quick to follow. A Flamethrower from Houndoom and Thundershock from Pikachu quickly finish off Team Rocket, sending them blasting off for the third time in the episode!
The twerps wave goodbye as the sun sets and head off, but a wild keening from Togepi slows them up. It rushes back to Houndoom, eager to have the hellhound act as it's eternal servant and bodyguard, but in this rare instance the will off Togepi is thwarted. Houndoom growls a warning at it, not so eager to fall under Togepi's thrall now that it has Misty back. Misty for her turn tells Togepi that they must say goodbye and with a swallow of its fury, Togepi allows itself to go. They head away, Houndoom saved from the horrible life that Togepi had in store for it.
And Togepi? Well Togepi has learnt a valuable lesson. It has learnt that as powerful as it is, it cannot always have it's way. It cannot continually gain the upper hand, it cannot have slaves, it cannot have its own demon hellhound to carry it around and act as its bodyguard. It cannot rum amok in the world thumbing its nose at Mother Nature and threatening to throw the world into chaos.
This is the lesson it has learned.
It cannot do any of these things.
Yet.
| BEST QUOTES |
 "This is no time for sipping, drifitng, and dreaming. We're acting like a bunch of pink slip dot com slackers."
 "My poor, sweet, helpless little Togepi"
"Justtink, we made tree cups of tea from only one teabag!"
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