172: The Trouble with Snubbull
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Pikachu's ears prick up as it notes a sound, catching Ash's attention, the young trainer looks up just in time to see.... Snubbull?
Yes it's Snubbull, Madam Muchmoney's Snubbull to be precise. Ash recognises it (my lord, he retained memory!) by the red ribbons around it's ears and wonders what it is doing on the other side of the river, so far from home.
Meanwhile, our heroes - Jesse, James and Meowth - are trudging despondently through another part of the forest. Jesse is hungry, she wants food and she wants it bad.
Hehe.... yeah, she wants it bad!
"When we get to the next little hamlet," sighs James, "Let's have a great big ham omelette."
"I hope dey're giving dem omelettes away," mutters Meowth, knowing that they have no money. His voice gets the attention of a watcher in the woods, Snubbull poking her head out of the bushes and spotting that hot tail of Meowth's waggling about like a dirty little ho.
As Jesse fulfils many an Otaku's greatest desire by stating she'd do ANYTHING for a bite, Meowth feels sharp teeth snapping down around his tail. Running about in circles crying out in pain, Meowth begs for help as Snubbull grips on tight and Jesse and James happily reminisce about their old friend Snubbull who has somehow caught up to them.
Meowth screams out that he hates Snubbull, surprising the lovestruck little Pokemon. Twisting his ass like a gay pornstar, Meowth hurls Snubbull away far off into the forest.
Not so far away we find Ash, Misty and Brock have actually got up off of their lazy asses and are making forward motion. Something needs to happen to halt their progress before they actually make any.... and of course.... it does!
As Ash wonders aloud what Madam Muchmoney's Snubbull is doing out so far from home, who should show up but..... JEEVES!
Yes the faithful servant of Madam Muchmoney is on his hands and knees in the path ahead of them. His fancy suit is torn and ripped though his bowtie remains securely fastened. Jeeves has collapsed from lack of water and kindly takes Brock up on his offer of water from his canteen. Apparently he and Madam Muchmoney are out here in the forest together, but had to separate to forage for foodstuffs.
Madam Muchmoney, forage? Surely not that rich, soft bourgeois society lady who has never done a days work in her life? Well apparently so, as Madam 'Jane of the Jungle' Muchmoney lets loose a tarzan-like roar and swings down from the treetops to land beside Jeeves and the twerps...
a large basket of mushrooms firmly attached to her back.
Madam Muchmoney is a lady reborn, still what a certain banned Dodger might call a BBW, but fit and strong nonetheless. Apparently she waited for weeks after leaving Snubbull to play in it's new natural park/playground, and she couldn't sleep, think or even eat (though her figure in the flashback suggests otherwise). Finally she discovered that Snubbull had done a runner and set off with Jeeves to find it. She and Jeeves climbed mountains, swam in oceans and crossed deserts (all in her evening dress and his butlers outfit) in search of Snubbull. They didn't find the bullish Pokemon.... but she did find muscles she never knew existed!
Still stocky, Madam Muchmoney DOES have muscles all over the place and looks to be in the healthiest condition of her life. As Jeeves says, having never done anything for herself in her life, this journey has been good for her.
Brock for one is very pleased, leaping up and proclaiming that now that Madam Muchmoney is in great shape she can become a great Pokemon Trainer!
He explains to a perplexed Misty that for a Pokemon to be strong, it needs to have a strong trainer so it can have a powerful role-model. But as Jeeves once again points out, Madam Muchmoney can't be a powerful anything unless she gets her Snubbull back.... and that may never happen.
It's at this point, after Ash has eaten his full of the mushroom soup that Madam Muchmoney and Jeeves have prepared for them, that he points out that he actually saw the object of their quest only an hour or so ago.
That fucking freeloader.
In any case, yes Ash did see Snubbull (though Misty tries to advise caution since Ash has been known to be completely wrong more often than not) and he's sure that his Pokemon can track it if they can get it's scent.
Madam Muchmoney has an old ribbon that Snubbull used to wear, Pikachu has a sniff of that and then sets off in search of the Pokemon as Madam Muchmoney, Jeeves and the twerps follow.
Deep in the forest, a despondent Snubbull sits thinking about that mean ol' Meowth and how he screamed that he hated her. Sighing sadly, Snubbull suddenly hears a rustling in the bushes nearby. Looking up and clasping her clublike paws together in prayer, Snubbull imagines a fantasy scenario where a tuxedoed Meowth leaps out with flowers in hands and proclaims his undying love for Snubbull.... then turns around and shakes his ass proclaiming that he wants Snubbull to bite on his tail as much as he wants.... because he loves it!
As the fantasy fades, Snubbull spots a Meowth-like tail popping out of the bush. Leaping forward with joy, Snubbull bites down and.... a very angry Primeape sits up and stares down at the small, surly-looking pink thing clutching onto it's tail. One hard punch later and Snubbull is sent smashing into the path where it lays sadly.... and Madam Muchmoney comes across it at last.
Clutching Snubbull up into her ample bosom, Madam Muchmoney checks her longlost Pokemon over and sees to her shock that it's pretty much fucked up. Brock suggests they get it to a Pokemon Centre and, despite the fact they were so deep in the forest earlier that Madam Muchmoney has to forage for food.... they go straight to a Pokemon Centre!
At the Centre Nurse Joy gives Snubbull a physical exam and declares her to be a little shaken up, but otherwise fine.
"Nurse Joy I think I could use a physical exam too!" cries Brock.
"What?" stammers a surprised Nurse Joy.
"Your beauty makes my temperature rise, and your loveliness makes my tender heart skip a beat!" wails Brock.
"If you think Nurse Joy would fall for that story the only thing you need examined is your head," growls Misty, dragging Brock away by his ear.
As Nurse Joy tries to figure out this bizarre turn of events, Madam Muchmoney gushes to Snubbull that soon it can return home and frolic about in nature without ever leaving the estate?
How can it do this? Well apparently Madam Muchmoney is having a multi-million dollar refurbishment done on her estate to turn the gardens into a giant nature reserve. Then Snubbull will be able to frolic and play to it's hearts content.... and the cut and toned Madam Muchmoney can join it!
Well Madam Muchmoney is excited, but Ash notes that Snubbull doesn't really seemed 'psyched' by the concept. Maybe she suffered trauma during her sojourn into the outside world?
Nurse Joy ponders out loud that maybe she should take Snubbull back to the Pokemon Centre with her..... even though they're already at the Pokemon Centre! Regardless, Snubbull stays the night and lays sadly in bed staring at the moon.... and sees a happy looking Meowth staring out of the moon which then turns into that hot little twitchy Meowth-tail! Leaping out of bed, Snubbull leaps out the window and takes off once again in search of Meowth-booty..... Nurse Joy discovering it's absences only minutes later when she comes in to inform Snubbull all her tests came through fine.
The next morning we find Team Rocket entering the town with the Pokemon Centre. Apparently they stumbled upon some apple trees the previous night and managed to get a bite to eat. Jesse would have preferred something with a but more substance, but beggars can't be choosers. Meowth of course, is happy with his lot now that he's finally cleared Snubbull off. Even if Jesse and James think he was a bit cruel, Meowth himself is just happy to finally be free of Snubbull.
Or so he thinks.
Raised voices catch Team Rocket's attention and they note the twerps, Jeeves and Madam Muchmoney rushing about crying out for Snubbull. Jesse is never one to forget a familiar (and rich) face and immediately realises who Madam Muchmoney is. Obviously she's looking for her Snubbull, and Jesse and James quickly realise they have the perfect bait to lure Snubbull in for a bite.
Snubbull wanders through the forest aimlessly until it suddenly notices a voice crying out... Meowth! Rushing out to see what's going on, Snubbull spots a very upset Meowth hanging from a tree tied up and screaming out that this is Pokemon cruelty.
"Prepare to say goodbye to all of our troubles," says Jesse, stepping out from behind the tree.
"And prepare to say hello to Snubbull's," adds James, stepping out from the other side.
"To protect ourselves from being poor."
"When we get enough we'll still get more!"
"We'll capture Snubbull and return it to it's rich owner and get a big reward," gasps Jesse in one super-kawaii breath.
"Then there won't be anything we can't afford!"
"Jesse."
"James."
"Team Rocket likes blasting off at the speed of light." "But catching that Snubbull and getting that reward would be a delight!"
"Meowth, dat's right!" agrees Meowth, then screams, "But what yer doing tah me is dead wrong... yer supposeda be my friends!"
But Jesse and James ARE his friends, as they explain to him. You see, after Snubbull bites down on his tail they can sell her back to Madam Muchmoney and buy Meowth a NEW tail!
But Meowth doesn't want a new tail, he wants this one.... but Jesse and James aren't listening. Grabbing out loudspeakers they call out for Snubbull to come get some hot Meowth tail, Jesse actually crying out, "Get some tail!"
And Snubbull does come out.... but instead of instantly latching onto Meowth's tail and biting it simply stands there staring.... what's the problem?
Suddenly Snubbull begins to glow and before Team Rocket's startled eyes.... evolves into Granbull!
Meowth is, quite understandably, horrified. He screams out to be let down, roaring, "If dat ting comes and takes a bite out of me, dere ain't going tah be any me!"
"WOBBUFFETT!" agrees Wobbuffet, popping out of it's Pokeball, and for once is greeted with relief by Jesse, who tells him to GO!
And go Wobbuffett does.... backwards.... nodding and saluting bravely as it does so.
An exasperated Jesse calls Wobbuffett back and sends out Arbok, commanding it to use Tackle Attack. Arbok leaps through the air, and it's tail reminds Granbull instantly of.... Meowth's tail!
Leaping forward with it's massive underbite exposed, Granbull latches it's mouth around Arbok's tail and chomps.
"CHARBOK!" cries Arbok, then twists to face the other way before screaming again, "CHARBOK!"
James calls out Weezing which attempts a pathetic impression of it's beloved forebear, then uses Smokescreen to allow Arbok to escape, injured tail and all.
Meowth takes advantage as well, biting into the rope dangling him from the tree and dropping to the ground below. Working his arms free he reveals a remote control? Yes Meowth was REALLY prepared and calls out a giant Mecha-Meowth on tracks with boxing gloves!?!?!
"Ahhhh!" cries Jesse happily.
"I'll say!" agrees James.
"It's my lean, mean fight-the-bite machine!" explains Meowth, "Let's get dat Granbull!"
They rush into the machine and begin operation 'Tailbait' which, contrary to popular opinion, is now a Pedo-Entrapment Sting Operation. Basically, Meowth turns his mechanical doppelganger around and begins to, to put it bluntly, shake that ass. Twitching it's tail back and forth like a dirty ho, the Fight-The-Bite Machine instantly gets Granbull's attention. The massive, pitbull-like Pokemon leaps through the air and latches onto the tail. Instantly Meowth fires a cage out behind the Fight-The-Bite Machine and begins shaking the tail in an attempt to break Granbull's hold and drop it into the cage. But Granbull's powerful underbite is having none of this and grips on for dear life as, lo and behold who should arrive but the twerps, Jeeves and Madam Muchmoney.
They spot the Granbull clutching onto the Fight-The-Bite Machine's tail but Madam Muchmoney instantly sees beyond that to the red ribbons around it's ears. She knows that it's her Snubbull.... Ash however, needs a bit of help.
"Granbull, the fairy Pokemon, the evolved form of Snubbull, Granbull has extreme, fighting power, due to it's, heavily muscled, jaw, and it's, strong teeth and, tusks."
Madam Muchmoney recognises the ribbons in Granbull's ears, she tied them herself and she knows that - despite appearance to the contrary - this is HER Snubbull!
Inside the Fight-The-Bite Machine, Meowth spots Madam Muchmoney and realises that all they have to do is hand over Granbull to her and collect their rich reward. James cries out three cheers for Meowth, he and Jesse give him one, then rush outside to schmooze and leech off of the 'rich dame'.
Quit acting like you're nice coz you're not nice!" cries Ash, stating his case succinctly and to the point after Team Rocket emerge as the picture of politeness.
"What are you two trying to do, catch my Snubbull?" asks Madam Muchmoney.
And to everyone's surprise, Team Rocket admit that's EXACTLY what they're trying to do. They inform Madam Muchmoney that they heard news of her missing Snubbull and searched for him. When they heard news of it in the East they searched in the East, when they heard news of it in the West they searched in the West. They searched all five (five!?!) points of the compass simply so they could find Snubbull (now Granbull) for Madam Muchmoney.
Like most rich people, Madam Muchmoney believes people do things because she's kind and loveable and not because she's an overfed bourgeois cow. She thanks Team Rocket for their kind and hard work even as Misty and Ash grumble that it must be a trap, only Brock giving them the benefit of the doubt. Jeeves wants to offer his thanks but Team Rocket insist that they desire no reward.
And of course, being rich, Madam Muchmoney doesn't think she has to give anyone any money and just rushes past them to get Granbull. James doesn't know what to make of this but Jesse warns him that they can't let her know how much they need the money or she won't give it to them. As James says, rich people are always giving money away to people who don't need it.
Madam Muchmoney rushes up to Granbull and tries to pry it free from the Fight-The-Bite Machine's tail.... but it refuses to let go. As Jeeves and Madam Muchmoney tug and pull on Granbull, Ash and Misty bizarrely blame Team Rocket for it's reluctance to release. Things get worse when Meowth tries to shock Granbull free and zaps Madam Muchmoney and Jeeves as well, and when he shakes the tail to try and break the rough Pokemon's bite it's the final straw for the twerps who are now determined that Team Rocket are making Granbull hold on.
Jesse and James rush inside the Fight-The-Bite Machine as Ash prepares to Thundershock them... until he's informed that might hurt Granbull too. As Team Rocket issue an ultimatum to hand over Pikachu or lose Granbull.... Ash calls out Cyndaquil which uses Flamethrower to heat up the interior of the Fight-The-Bite Machine.
Apparently heat doesn't conduct through metal tails.
Meowth hits a switch in a panic... and of course it's the Tail-Missile release. The tail blasts off with Granbull attached and Madam Muchmoney rushes to the rescue. Flexing her muscles, she braces herself and grabs Granbull as the tail-missile crashes into her. They are both sent crashing back into a tree, Madam Muchmoney's copious ass cushioning the blow and absorbing the impact.
With that done, Madam Muchmoney asks Granbull to help her fight off Team Rocket together. Granbull uses Take Down to dodge the Fight-The-Bite Machine's missile-boxing gloves, then uses tackle attack to send it reeling and Dynamic Punch to blow out the electrical units and send it charging around in circles before crashing... and Pikachu delivers the coup-de-grace by blasting Team Rocket off again.
Granbull and Madam Muchmoney hug, reunited at last, freed from the tyranny of the evil Team Rocket who.... tried to bring them back together when the twerps just sat by the river watching Snubbull waddle on by.....
Yeah, nice.
In any case, Granbull and Madam Muchmoney prepare to return home at last. Jeeves calls for a car but Madam Muchmoney explains that she and Granbull prefer to get some exercise. They'll be running home!
As they take off after thanking the twerps for their help, one can't help but wonder about Madam Muchmoney. She's hugely rich yet didn't even think of giving any money to Team Rocket (who found her Pokemon for her!) or the twerps (who took the credit). Rather than spend money on detectives or trackers she looked for Snubbull herself, and now rather than drive home or get a plane she's going to run, walk, climb and swim.
Well what can we say, she didn't get rich by writing cheques.
| BEST QUOTES |
 "Nurse Joy, I think I need a physical exam too!"
 "Quit acting like you're nice. You're not nice!"
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