171: Imitation Confrontation
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A midget Nurse Joy?
Yes the seemingly deserted Pokemon Centre seems to have only a Chansey and a midget Nurse Joy inside of it. Try as we might, we can think of no such meeting with a midget Nurse Joy.... but as usual where the mind fails, Brock's hormones succeed.
Charging haphazardly across the room, Brock demands to know who the girl is, because he sure as hell knows that she's not Nurse Joy.
Giggling that she should have known she couldn't fool Brock, Nurse Joy's Chansey suddenly glows, shifts, changes and becomes.... DITTO!?!?!
Ditto! which can only mean that the midget Nurse Joy is everybody's favourite piece of cartoon jailbait - Duplica!
What follows next is a horrifying display, as the twerps and Duplica gather around a table to catch up and Togepi does...... things..... with Ditto best not described here. Suffice it to say, EWWWW!
In any case, Duplica is in the area for the annual Pokemon Acting Competition. Apparently every year the Pokemon Council For The Performing Arts (there isn't a Council for anything so naff as Law and Order or refuse collection, but there are plenty for cutesy Pokemon Competitions!) invites a large number of performers to come strut their stuff on stage.
Speaking of performers, outside watching through binoculars we find our beloved Team Rocket. James recognises Duplica by sight if not by name, while Jesse remembers her VERY well. Considering that Jesse stole Duplica's Ditto and tried to make it turn into her ex-boyfriend so she could violate almost all the laws of morality and human dignity.... it really comes as no surprise that Jesse remembers Duplica.
Meowth explains to poor airheaded James that Duplica trains Ditto, which is a Pokemon that can turn itself into other Pokemon. James instantly sees the appeal, a Ditto would be a perfect Pokemon to steal for the boss!
Back in the Pokemon Centre Nurse Joy has finished the operation which left the Centre deserted and unmanned except for an underage girl.
She comes out of the operating theatre with another Ditto on a stretcher, which proceeds to leap into Duplica's arms and nuzzle into her chest.
16 will get you 20, good buddy.
Nurse Joy informs Duplica that there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with this new Ditto, whose nickname is..... Minidit.
Snicker.
Duplica takes Minidit outside where it plays in the local playground with Pikachu and Togepi. Explaining to the twerps that there IS a problem with Minidit, Duplica decides not to tell them what it is but rather go through a long and unnecessary demonstration.
First Minidit transforms into Pikachu, then Togepi, both transformations seemingly perfect. But when a gushing Misty charges up and hugs the transformed Minidit, she says that it feels all wrong.
Transporting back into Minidit makes it feel better, but Ash and Brock still can't see what's wrong? The transformations are - visually at least - perfect.
Duplica finally gets around to explaining it all, as she asks for one of the twerps to bring out a big Pokemon. Enter the GAROOOARING Onix, which GAROOOAR'S mightily before Minidit transforms into a perfect imitation of it..... except it's only a few inches tall and still sits comfortably in Misty's arms!
"Look at the size of that thing!" gasps Jesse from her hiding place in the bushes.
"It's microscopic!" cries James.
Oh it's almost too easy nowadays!
"I ain't never seen a Pokemon like dat!" yells Meowth, which is why, Jesse informs him, they have to capture it. Agreeing with Jesse, Meowth and James join her in sliding back down into the bush to plot their latest scheme.
Over in the playground Pikachu is petting the head of the microscopic Onix while Ash asks for an explanation (like he'd understand anyways!) of why Minidit remains so small after transformation.
Duplica has no idea, it's a mystery to her why Minidit can transform into a perfect duplicate of anything else.... and yet not change size!
"Wow Duplica you really catch the weirdest, wackiest most abnormal Pokemon ever!" beams Misty with all the tact and delicacy one would normally expect from Ash.
"Of course I mean that in the best possible sense!" a horrified Misty tries to correct herself after Brock explains to her what she's just done, "I've never seen anyone with Pokemon as versatile or as squishy as you, Duplica!"
"Having Minidit's like having every Pokemon all in one!" an excited Ash cries out, obviously having completely forgotten their last meeting when he discovered what the drawbacks of having a Ditto were, "You learn every Pokemon's Attack so you can adapt to any kind of transformation right!?! And lots of trainers like to do that!"
"I guess....." mumbles Duplica as she thinks about the hours and hours of hard work she puts in to learn all this crap and then train it to her defective Ditto's. The oblivious Ash though, is on a roll and ain't nothing gonna stop him now.
"In fact! I bet you're even tougher than the last time I saw you! Come on! I challenge you to a battle! Let's see who'll win this time!"
"YEAH!" cries Duplica excitedly, "Minidit may be short on size but it's long on talent!"
That's what they all say, Duplica.
Ash calls out Totodile to start the battle, and Duplica instantly has Minidit transform into Totodile as well. Kicking things off with a move she's sure will win the battle for her, Duplica has Minidit use ScaryFace on Totodile. The imitation Pokemon charges up and makes the scariest face it possibly can......... and Totodile laughs and points!
Yes while Ditto may be capable of emulating the moves of any Pokemon there is, there's one thing you can't generically emulate, and that's personality. It just so happens that Ash's Totodile also happens to be completely freaking insane, which means Duplica is gonna have to give up on strategy and fight instinctively if she's gonna have any chance against Ash....... some shit, you just can't learn in books.
Totodile hits Minidit with a Water Gun Attack, but instead of finishing off it's doppelganger, Totodile can't help but dance with insane glee once more. Duplica makes use of this to order a Hydropump from Minidit, which sucks in air and then...... nothing happens.
Yep, ol' Totodile ain't learned Hydropump yet, and as Duplica says, "What you don't know, can't hurt ya."
Brock explains to those of us not keeping up at home, Ditto can only emulate the moves known by the Pokemon they're duplicating. So even though Duplica knows that Totodile is capable of Hydropump, Minidit can't use it because Totodile doesn't know how to yet.
What it does know though, is Tackle, and the Minidit attacks, slamming into Totodile and knocking it to the ground. Duplica then wastes time to admonish Ash for not teaching more moves to his Pokemon, assuming the battle is over. Ash is just getting started though, and calls on Totodile to use a Bite Attack when a sudden explosion interrupts the battle.
Smoke billows from the top of the Pokemon Centre and the twerps rush to see what's going on...... and see Ash and Duplica waiting for them!
"Hey there's Ash and Duplica!" cries Misty, who may be having Ash rub off on her in ways the AAML'ers never foresaw.
Of course it isn't Ash and Duplica, but rather Team Rocket getting back at the twerps for their Team Twerp routine so many episodes ago. James is dressed as Ash and appears to have taken clothes straight out of the little boys wardrobe. His pants (rolled up at the cuffs!) come down to just below his knee, his shirt doesn't cover his belly button and his jacket is tight.
There are certain parts of the Internet full of people looking for guys like you James!
For Jesse's part, she's dressed as Duplica, complete with tight blue jeans, a tiny top that strains against her mighty chest and big green hair.
There are certain parts of the Internet full of people looking for girls like you Jesse!
"Prepare for trouble, whatever you do!" cries Duplisse.
"And make it double, we look just like you!" adds Jash.
"To protect the world from devastation."
"To unite all peoples within our nation."
"To denounce the evils of truth and love."
"To extend our reach to the stars above."
"Jesse."
"James."
"Team Rocket imitating and blasting off at the speed of light."
"Surrender now or prepare to fight, fight, fight!"
"WOBBUFFET!" agrees Wobbuffet.
"Okay what do you three losers want now!?!" demands Ash as a sneaky NinjaMeowth wearing what looks like a ninjamask made from a sack sneaks up, scoops up Minidit (still transformed into Totodile) and runs away.
"Hehehehe," hehehehe's James and Jesse, both of their midriffs exposed, the star on Jesse's shirt stretched to tearing point as her full, ripe bre......
Excuse Dodgemaster Tim, he'll just be taking a cold shower.
Brrr, right now where were we?
Ahhh yes, Jesse and James laugh before informing Ash they're here to steal as many Pokemon as possible. They leap down into the damaged Pokemon Centre while Ash calls on Totodile and Pikachu to help him fight. Duplica prepares to call on Minidit as Ditto leaps out of Brock's arms to help out too, but Minidit is nowhere to be found! As Ash asks an insane, dancing Totodile if it's REALLY Totodile, a concerned Duplica looks about trying to find her missing, defective Pokemon.
The twerps run into the damaged Pokemon Centre to fight off Team Rocket.... but they're already gone! Apparently they lept in and ran right out again, not attempting to capture a single Pokemon on the way. Ash can't figure it out of course, and Misty ain't exactly having a good brainday, so in the end it's up to Brock to figure it out. Minidit is missing, ergo the explosion and damage done to the Centre was a distraction for Team Rocket to steal Minidit!
And indeed it was, as we find Team Rocket hunched around a tree stump with Minidit, gloating over their victory.
James though, feels a little confused (hehe!), after all since they damaged the Pokemon Centre anyways and they were there anyways, why not capture some of the Pokemon that were there?
"RAHHHHHHHHHH!" replies Jesse intelligently, looming over James with arms clawing at the horrified young fruitcup.
"Eeeee!" eeeee's James, "What'd I say!?!?!"
"We always make the same mistake!" hisses Jesse, bravely thrusting her chest into camerashot, "We always try to catch Pikachu and when we do... we get GREEDY! Well we're not going to make that mistake this time because THIS time we're going to learn from our mistakes!"
"I guess you're right Jesse," agrees James, poking at a disturbed Minidit with his finger, "For once we should be satisfied with one very rare, very valuable and very squishy Pokemon... and be happy with what we've got!"
He finishes off by tugging on the disturbed Minidit's pliable body as Meowth shouts out his objection to this new course of action.
"Guess again! Obviously youse two don't see da potential here! But if we work dis ting right we can let Ditto go back home."
"Back home!" cries James.
"Why would we let it go? It's the only valuable thing we've got!" snaps Jesse.
"Becoz if we do tings my way," chuckles Meowth,"We'll have more Pokemon dan we can handle!"
A fantasy sequence ensues in which Meowth explains his plans. James will grow a little Hitler moustache and he and Jesse will dress in some kind of harlequin outfits and slap fans on tables to get peoples attention. Then they'll reveal their little Miniarbok (actually Minidit of course) and offer to trade it for the right kind of Pokemon. Then some kind of fancy pants Pokemon Trader complete with curled moustachio, top hat, bow tie and monocle (YES MONOCLE!) will show up and say in a rich cultured voice, "Dat's quite an unusual Arbok you have and I would like to add it to my collection so perhaps you will trade it for dis Dragonite.....?"
"A DRAGONITE!" gasp Real World Jesse and James, interrupting Meowth's happy little fantasy world. They imagine themselves playing and dancing and happy with a giant Dragonite, "HOORAY!"
"Dis way instead of being stuck with a freaky little pocket sized Pokemon," Meowth cruelly informs them as Minidit sits RIGHT NEXT TO HIM, "We'd have a big power Pokemon dat we'd never have a chance to steal udderwise!"
"YOO HOO!" cries Jesse, turning and shaking her ass (it's true!) as James tosses confetti into the air.
"But then we won't have Ditto," notes James, spotting a flaw in the plan.
"We will after we go and swipe it back from dat collector guy," chuckles Meowth evilly, and then explains again how they'll trade Minidit for Pokemon after Pokemon and then steal it back to do it all again, getting Scizor's and Lapras' and Clefairies and more!
Meowth's plan will see them capture any Pokemon they ever wanted, after which he tells the horrified Minidit that it can go home.
Back in town the twerps have scoured everywhere all over and seen no sign of the normally flamboyant Team Rocket. Brock suggests that they call Officer Jenny and get the police involved (Jenny won't like that, it involves work) but before they can Nurse Joy gets their attention. She's just heard word that in a nearby town a couple of shady characters are attempting to trade a miniature Arbok.
Well that's all that the twerps need to hear and with a speed that indicates they could get their ass to Ecruteak City pretty damn quickly if they wanted to, the twerps find themselves in the next town.
Team Rocket are there, disguised just as Meowth wanted them to be, and just like Meowth said, people are eager to trade..... the problem is that they all have crap Pokemon!
Not a Dragonite in the bunch, it's all Beedrill's and Wooper and bollocks like Butterfree. Jesse and James want to move on, but Meowth insists they stay and give the plan time... which is when the twerps show up.
Ash glares down at the Miniarbok in the cage, which lets out a surprised little, "Charbok!" to see him and Duplica, while a suspicious Misty demands to know where the two vendors got it from.
"I was hoping you'd ask!" laughs James, slapping his fan on the table.
"But it's such a hideously horrible tale of terror that I'm not sure you're old enough to hear it!" wails Jesse, biting her fingernails.
"In fact the story of this strange Pokemon is so intensely shocking that we can't divulge it to the general public!" cries James theatrically.
"And besides we're hear to swap Pokemon, not stories!" growls Jesse.
Duplica gets up close and personal, glaring at the miniature Arbok in the cage, "I still think this is my Ditto!"
"Your Ditto!?!" laughs Jesse, "Well, if that's what you think you'll have to prove it to me!"
"We'll need to see your Pokemon Registration Card and a photo i.d!" chuckles James.
"There's something awfully familiar about you two!" growls Ash, never the sharpest tack.
"Ahhh I know!" grins James, leaping at a shocked Ash, "Perhaps you might consider trading our mini Arbok for your little Pikachu there?"
"You'd look tougher with Arbok on your shoulder!" suggests Jesse.
"I don't want a trade!" cries Ash.
Boom! Boom! Boom! goes three booming things as Jesse and James' faces jerk forwards towards Ash.
"Isn't it time for a change?" suggests James, using a line that must have worked for him at least once.
"There's no way I'm ever going to trade my Pikachu!" cries Ash.
"EEEH!" roars Meowth, leaping onto Jesse and James' head, "Can't you two make one lousy trade?"
Step! Step! The twerps and entire crowd step back in perfect dance hall choreography.
"It's Meowth!" shouts out Captain Obvious - Ash.
"That explains everything!" growls Misty.
"That's Team Rocket!" adds Brock in case everyone has missed it.
"WOBBUFFET!" agrees Wobbuffet, leaping up to salute.
"Nobody asked you to come out!" growls Jesse, looking the big blue blob into a headlock as she pulls out her Pokeball, while James tugs on Meowth's head and hisses, "I'll fix you!"
Eek! Meowth's going to the vets!
Regardless the cat is literally out of the bag and the jig is up. Team Rocket instantly revert to form and try to just physically grab Pikachu, and get a Thundershock for their efforts. Knocked down but not out, Team Rocket do inadvertently knock the cage holding Minidit into the air. It falls out of it's cage and into Duplica's arms, transforming back to it's original form. Duplica then challenges Jesse to a Pokemon battle, but as Arbok is called out to accept the challenge.... Wobbuffet pops out just to salute and scream it's own name.
Things quickly degenerate into an all out brawl as Duplica's Ditto's take on Arbok and Wobbuffet, with Poison Stings being countered and almost taking out James, Meowth trying to call in a sneak attack by having James use Weezing.... and getting blasted by Pikachu for it's efforts. Ash joins in the battle but Pikachu's attacks are effectively countered by Wobbuffet who once again proves itself to be MVP for Team Rocket.
Duplica comes up with a clever plan to make use of Minidit's transformation into the defensive Mini-Wobbuffet, turning Counter into an offensive move. By goading Jesse into attacking her, Duplica gets Minidit to Counter Arbok's tackle, sending Arbok crashing back into Jesse. Weezing tries a Sludge Attack and is sent crashing back into James while Meowth's Fury Swipes only cut himself up.
Duplica in the process uses Mirror Coat, a move used by Lulu back in Wobbupalooza. According to Duplica, Mirror Coat is the move Wobbuffet uses to counter special attacks while Counter is used to counter physical attacks. Confronted with this information as both Ditto's turn into Pikachu and join Ash's in preparing a Thunder Attack, Jesse finds herself struggling to figure out if she should use Counter or Mirror Coat. She turns and begs James for help.
"You're the smart one not me!" squeals James, leaving Jesse to turn to Wobbuffet for advice. Wobbuffet promptly uses the correct move... 3 seconds after the Thunder Attack hits them and sends Team Rocket blasting off again!
Back in the (already!) repaired Pokemon Centre we find Duplica showing off her Minidit. Apparently she likes the fact that it remains small now that she's found out that the public think it's cute. True to her artistic/performer roots, she's quickly learned that you give the people what they want.
Deciding to head out and form Team Ditto - a team of Ditto's that all have odd transformation quirks - Duplica is ready to become a Ditto Master, but first there's the little matter of finishing her Pokemon Battle with Ash!
Misty insists they need to get going, after all they haven't even made it to Ecruteak City yet, let alone The Johto League Championships! But Ash is insistent, they will finish their battle!
"He's gotten smarter guys," Duplica says, proving she's not the master of observation she claims to be, "So this might take awhile."
Heading outside, the two begin to battle as the camera pulls away and the narrator tells us that no matter who wins.... both trainers are winners.
Yeah, I'm sure the loser will appreciate that thought tonight as their injured Pokemon is treated in a Pokemon Centre.
Jerk!
| BEST QUOTES |
 "Hey look, it's Ash and Duplica!"
 "What are you talking about? That's not us!"
 "You're the smart one, not me"
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