170: Wobbu-Palooza!
|
|
Brock's guidebook is lying on the ground, and Misty asks if it's Brock's, and gets a reply from an unexpected source.
"WOBBUFFET!" proclaims a Wobbuffet, bouncing up from behind a rock.
The twerps are shocked, what is Wobbuffet doing here? Is Team Rocket around? They look about in a panic, but are greeted not by Jesse, James and Meowth but..... more Wobbuffet!
PLURAL!
The twerps follow the Wobbuffet (PLURAL!) as they lead them back towards a small township where we find..... OMGOMGKAWAIIMEOWMEOW!!!!!!
All kinds of Wobbuffet! Wickle ones! Big ones! Wobbuffet's on swings, Wobbuffets with people, wickle kiddy Wobbuffet's standing slackjawed and happy, Wobbuffets sitting on hills looking at the clouds..... a wondrous world of Wobbuffet!
A young man with a Wobbuffet T-Shirt approaches, explaining that they've found Wobbuffet Village - so named because everyone in town has a Wobbuffet.
"Why would they all want a Wobbuffet?" Misty asks - quite rudely in fact.
"There's just something about them you can't not love," replies the young man, hand to his heart, "Just looking at a Wobbuffet makes you feel warm and happy."
AMEN BROTHER!
"WOBBUFFET!" cries a Groucho-Marx looking Wobbuffet with huge black eyebrows, echoing our own sentiments.
The twerps laugh (strange how they don't find Team Rocket's Wobbuffet cute.... even if they did back when it belonged to Benny).
Noticing the young man's shirt (which bears an image of a happily saluting Wobbuffet), the kids learn that it is currently the time of the Wobbuffet festival.
"The Wobbuffet Festival?" they all ask.
"WOBBUFFET!" agree three saluting Wobbuffet's, one of which has a cute wickle baby omgsocute Wobbuffet sitting on it's head. The young man shows them around the festival (including such wonderful stands as CORN!) while outside Wobbuffet Village, three new travellers make their weary way into town.
Yes our beloved Team Rocket have arrived!
Jesse, James and Meowth collapse wearily to the ground, barely able to stand after a long journey (and probably still recovering from being 'blasted off again').
Of course one member of Team Rocket is always chipper and energetic, and Wobbuffet pops out of it's Pokeball to happily salute and shout it's own name.
Jesse snaps angrily at Wobbuffet, but before a beating or call-back can ensue.... several Wobbuffet bounce out of the forest to salute, before a pleasantly plump woman appears with her Groucho-Marx looking Wobbuffet in tow.
"That's a wonderful looking Wobbuffet you folks have!" the pleasantly plump woman grins.
"Yes.... welllll," says Jesse warily, unsure how to deal with a compliment,"I admit we do quite a bit of wondering about it!" "It's soooo inspiring to know that visitors like you visit year after year with their Wobbuffet!" the pleasantly plump woman cries with a smile.
"Hmmmahhh?" hmmmahhh Team Rocket.
The pleasantly plump woman invites Team Rocket back to her house, which is either a sign of refreshing innocence or deadly psychopathic tendencies.
In any case, back at her home, Team Rocket sit around the dining room table, James trying to figure out why everyone in the village would want a Wobbuffet.
"What could they possible be thinking?" asks a bored looking Jesse as she stares at Wobbuffet at it's place of honour at the head of the table.
"Not much, I guess," grunts Meowth.
The pleasantly plump woman - Lulu - comes back into the room carrying a giant plate of hamburgers and other assorted foodstuffs. Team Rocket are delighted and begin chowing down, instantly loving Wobbuffet Village, Wobbuffets in general and even their own Wobbuffet!
When Lulu explains that there will be even more food - and Wobbuffet! - at the festival itself, Jesse's interest is even more piqued than before. Lulu is delighted at the idea of actual human friends attending the festival with her this year, so delighted in fact that she attaches a convenient plot device to Wobbuffet's head - an orange bandanna which will readily identify it from all the others.
Jesse, James and Meowth think the rather camp accessory is a hoot, though Wobbuffet itself loves the style... but Lulu has even more things to share with them, such as the giant Wobbuffet statue in the centre of town!.
"It's gigantical," whispers Meowth in awe as they stand before the giant statue later on. Built by the entire town to show their love for Wobbuffets, it's proof positive that the entire village is Wobbuffet mad.
But unfortunately, not everyone shares in that thought. Standing high atop a cliff-face looking over Wobbuffet Village we find three rejects from bad 80's post-apocalyptic thriller movies glaring with hatred down at the village.
Calling out their own Pokemon - Hitmonlee, Machoke and Primeape, the three 'punks' prepare to wreak havoc.
How does one go about wreaking havoc anyway?
Back in the village, the twerps are all having fun with the many various Wobbuffet. It seems none of them realised that Wobbuffet's could be so much fun before (though they seemed to all love Benny's Wobbuffet before it became Team Rockets), but the fun and games aren't to last long.
A shout captures everyone's attention and they find to their horror that a small girl's Wobbuffet has been beaten half to death outside of the village. Battered, bruised and broken, the Wobbuffet can barely speak and needs help from fellow Wobbuffet to even stand.
But the horror isn't over yet, as another call gets their attention and they find a large moustached man weeping over the battered body of his own Wobbuffet.
Both victims explain their Pokemon was jumped by three individuals, and instantly Ash's 2 braincells (Gormy and Obtuse) kick into high gear.
3 people attack Wobbuffets + 3 people in Team Rocket = Team Rocket attacked the Wobbuffet !
As the worst piece of criminal profiling outside of the LAPD takes place, we find out just what Team Rocket is actually up to.
Sneaking from bush to bush, Jesse, James, Meowth and Wobbuffet have made their way to the building holding all the reserve foodstuffs for the Village Festival.
"I feel guilty stealing food from all the people who fed us so well," says James.
"All we're doing is cutting out da middle man!" Meowth soothes.
"Look at all the food!" gasps Jesse as she stares through the storehouse window.
"And it's ours for the taking!" gasps James.
"Let's take! Let's take!" cries Meowth.
Before they can do, a voice calls out. The young man who has been showing the twerps around town has led the twerps to the storehouse after seeing suspicious people sneaking around.
Ash is instantly making accusations after even he manages to see through Team Rocket's terrible disguise (they sit on the ground and hold small branches in front of their faces!), accusing Team Rocket of beating on the poor Wobbuffet's in the village.
Team Rocket of course aren't going to take this lying down, yes they may be villains and low-down dirty stinkers, but they sure as hell aren't going to take the rap for something they haven't done.... besides which, the townspeople have been nice to them!
Enter Lulu.
The pleasantly plump woman walks up and asks what's going on, and a relieved Jesse explains that they've been accused of beating up on Wobbuffet.
Ash is apoplectic that everybody refuses to accept his uninformed, unproven assertion that Team Rocket - who have very little history of any kind of physical abuse - committed physical abuse on the Wobbuffet.
"Do you have any proof?" Lulu asks calmly.
.....
Proof?
PROOF!?!
The twerps are shocked! Who needs proof when they have unsubstantiated claims with no basis in reality!?!?!
Hell, if George Dubya Bush doesn't need it.......
"Well..... no," Ash finally admits.
"Of course you don't," smiles Lulu, "Because Jesse and James and Meowth are very nice! They wouldn't attack a Wobbuffet, they have their own Wobbuffet!"
Lulu turns her attention to a surprised Team Rocket, who have never had anyone actually stick up for THEIR rights before, "I know you're innocent and if you need a place to stay during the Wobbuffet Festival you're more than welcome to stay at my place."
"Thank you Lulu!" gush Team Rocket happily before turning their ire onto their accusers.
"See we told you!" snaps Jesse.
"Not guilty!" grunts James.
"Uhhhh," uhhhh the twerps, furious that they might actually have to find proof to back up their biased claims. Before they can though, a young lady rushes up to them to warn that another Wobbuffet has taken a beating.
Well of course, in a situation like this, the food storehouse on the edge of town is the first place you'd run, certainly not to the giant Wobbuffet statue in the middle of town.
In any case, the girl and the twerp's guide rush off to the park where the girl's cousin's Wobbuffet is lying, leaving behind the twerps and Team Rocket.
"I still don't trust you three," growls Ash, the little bastard even managing to look disgusted with Team Rocket for daring to be innocent, "But I guess that proves you're not the ones attacking the Wobbuffet."
"Of course we aren't!" snaps James.
"You accused us without any evidence and we demand an apology from you," demands Jesse.
"Say yur sorry!" hisses Meowth.
"We....... made a mistake," grunts Ash.
"Sorry it happened," strains out Brock.
"Let's go," cries Misty, and they rush off.
And that's it, that's their apology for falsely accusing Team Rocket of the serious crime of physically assaulting Pokemon, those arrogant little.... well...... TWERPS!
"Good luck finding the real criminals!" giggles James in his best O.J Simpson impersonation.
"Not that they're gone we can get back to business," smiles Jesse.
"And stealing is our business!" chuckles Meowth.
"WOBBUFFET!" agrees Wobbuffet.
Back in the park by the giant Wobbuffet statue, another Wobbuffet is getting smacked around. The twerps and their guide arrive in time to find the bad 80's movie rejects and their Fighting Pokemon arrogantly lording it up over the frightened townspeople.
"So you're the three who have been attacking all the Wobbuffet here!" growls Ash, forgetting his previous Team Rocket accusation.
"That's right Sherlock!" mocks one of the baddies,"You got a problem with it?"
The baddies and the twerps toss back verbal taunts, the baddies accusing the Wobbuffet of being weaklings who deserve to take hidings. Ash of course ain't too pleased to hear this, and prepares to deal with the problem in the only way he knows how.
He's going to hit it till it goes away.
Before the battle can begin though, the guide gets in an expository mood and decides to start explaining the baddie's back story. Apparently a year ago they showed up in town and - to level up their Fighting Pokemon - had their Pokemon attack the town, smashing windows, tearing up fences and breaking down doors. In the process they found themselves at Lulu's house where her Grouchobuffet whipped their asses using Mirror Coat and Counter.
Now the baddies are back for revenge, and they're not going until they beat on each and every single Wobbuffet in the village..... because yeah, then you can be sure all the girls will think they have big penises.
Back in the storehouse, Team Rocket have almost stripped the shelves clean, all of the food now sitting in a large sack in the middle of the room.
"With all this food!" gushes James, "We can have our own private Team Rocket festival!"
"Yeah!" agrees Meowth.
"Wobbuh-Wobbuh!" adds Wobbuffet.
Team Rocket's ruminations are cut off, however, by the sound of the twerp's guide leading Lulu, Officer Jenny, Grouchobuffet and Officerbuffet towards the park.
Back in the park, Ash demands a battle with the baddies, but they seem reluctant. Not from fear. but the fact that Ash's cute and cuddly little rat doesn't exactly seem like a worthwhile combatant.
Unlike defenceless Wobbuffet, huh?
In any case, Ash calls out Chikorita, Misty calls out Poliwhirl and Brock calls out Golbat, all of them ready to fight. The baddies kick things off by calling for Hitmonlee to use a Rolling Kick, and as Chikorita prepares to defend with Vine Whip.... Lulu arrives on the scene and demands they stop fighting.
Eventually it is explained that during the Wobbuffet Festival it is forbidden for Pokemon to battle. Since Wobbuffet themselves never actually initiate combat and can only defend, the founders of the festival made it a rule and tradition that all Pokemon battles are forbidden. This is why all of the Wobbuffet took such severe beatings earlier, because they were forbidden to even defend themselves.
As a tradition it is vitally important that no battle take place, so Lulu and Officer Jenny convince the twerps not to battle...... the baddies on the other hand, seem to have a bizarre sense of what it means to follow the law.
Fearing the crippling social stigma that will result in violating a respected tradition, the baddies instead turn their rage onto the giant Wobbuffet statue. Their Pokemon rip into it, kicking and punching and scratching and severely damaging it. The townspeople just stand there watching, and Officer Jenny, as normal, does nothing.
Yes because her Pokemon can't fight back, she appears to have decided to just stand around watching her town's most famous symbol get torn down rather than arrest anybody.
Not so bound by Japan's indoctrinated social standards and traditions however, are Team Rocket. Watching from the bushes where they have stashed their stolen food, James and Meowth question Wobbuffet about how he feels watching all this crap go down and whether or not he'd like to do something about it.
The answer?
WOBBUFFET!
In the park Ash is desperate to fight but Lulu insists that tradition dictate over common sense.... which is when the smokebomb smashes into the ground beside the statue, getting everybody's attention.
"Prepare for trouble we're on the way!"
"Make it double, we'll save the day!"
"To protect the world from devastation."
"To unite all peoples within our nation."
"To denounce the evils of truth and love."
"To extend our reach to the stars above."
"Jesse."
"James."
"Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light."
"Surrender now or prepare to fight, fight, fight!"
"Meowth, dat's right!"
"What kind of gang are you!?!" growl the 80's baddies as the Happy Buddha Face Meowth balloon settles to the ground.
"We're the kind of gang that chases gangs like you straight out of town," grins Jesse.
"So why don't you run along before we have to get nasty," warns James.
The 80's Baddies ain't going anywhere though, which Jesse explains is going to upset her Wobbuffet.
"WOBBUFFET!" agrees Wobbuffet, popping out of the basket with headband still firmly affixed.
"YOU TELL HER JESS!" squeals an excited Lulu.
"What are they gonna do?" asks Ash, perhaps expecting Team Rocket to suddenly team up with the bad guys.
"The people here stood up for us, so we're going to stand up for them!" explains James with dramatic flourish.
"Maybe if we beat you three in a Pokemon battle you'll go away," suggests Jesse.
"Pokemon battles are against the festival rules!" whispers the uesless Officer Jenny, and gets the answer she deserves.
"Who cares about rules?" grins Jesse, "We don't."
"Some rules were made to be broken, you know!" explains James.
"And we're here tah break 'em!" finishes Meowth.
The battle begins, Hitmonlee attempting a Rolling Kick on Arbok, Arbok is knocked back but then hits Hitmonlee with a Tackle Attack back. Machoke uses karate chop on Victreebell which uses Razor Leaf back before Arbok attempts to use Wrap but is knocked out by a high jumping kick from Hitmonlee. Machoke grabs Victreebell and smashes it into unconsciousness with a Seismic Toss. It looks like the battle is over....... except of course for the appearance of Wobbuffet.... with headband flapping in the wind!
The 80's baddies aren't exactly terrified by the appearance of the rather camp looking Wobbuffet..... but they're soon impressed as it counters attacks from Machoke, Hitmonlee AND Primeape. Their strategy then is to have all three attack at once, knowing that it would take a truly powerful Wobbuffet to Counter all three of them at once.......... which is promptly what happens.
The 80's Baddies watch in horror as their Pokemon are blasted off, and turn to find themselves faced by angry townspeople and Wobbuffet's, three twerps, a yellow rat and an ineffectual Police Officer. Horrified that the pacifists might refuse to fight them, they turn and run in horror, leaving Team Rocket the victors!
"It's good to see someone else run away for a change," smiles Jesse.
"You're a winner, Wobbuffet!" James compliments.
"Wobbuffet!" agrees Wobbuffet.
Lulu is ecstatic with Team Rocket for saving the day, but the ineffectual Officer Jenny insists that what they have done is wrong.
No you silly thing, not wrong, just against tradition. What they did was most definitely RIGHT.
Regardless, Team Rocket seem to be very understanding. Insisting that they understand and that they'll leave, they hop into their Happy Buddha Face Meowth balloon and begin to float away. The twerps stand in shock, trying to grasp their simple black and white world being turned upside down.
Luckily Team Rocket saves the day again, by reverting to form and lowering a cable which hauls up a sack full of stolen food!
"I can't believe those bumpkins bought our phoney hero act!" laughs Jesse as they prepare to fly away..... and Misty's Staryu uses Tackle to burst through the balloon and send them crashing to the ground.
The twerps confront Team Rocket, attempting to force them to give back the food, but Jesse and James aren't going down without a fight. Jesse calls out Arbok and James calls out Weezing.... Weezing even tries to smile.... but fails miserably.
Well we all know how this situation will usually end up, with the twerps whipping on Team Rocket booty.....
....mmmmm, Jesse's booty.......
but this time Team Rocket are confident.... because the rules of the festival dictate no Pokemon battles!
The twerps are downcast, how can they ever violate tradition? That would bring shame upon their ancestors!
Luckily for them, the corrupt, lazy Officer Jenny has a way out of the constraints of tradition when it suits her. Since they're not out of the town, the rules no longer apply (despite the fact a Pokemon Battle will still violate the spirit of the festival, which is what a tradition is supposed to be all about) and the battle can begin.
And end almost instantly, as Pikachu Thundershocks Team Rocket and sends them blasting off again.
"We did it!" cries Ash excitedly.
Yes Ash, well done, you're the greatest hero in the world ever.
Back in town by the statue (which appears to be fixed already!), and the twerps prepare to say goodbye. They're asked to stick around for the big banquet, which will have fireworks and dancing and plenty of food.
Unfortunately, the twerps are already well late for Ecruteak City, let alone the quickly impending Johto League Championships, so...... they stick around for the fireworks and dancing and plenty of food.
While they dance the night away, we find Team Rocket trapped up on a cold, lonely rocky outcropping.
"We lost food, friends and a festival," moans James, "We should have quit while we were ahead."
"Don't remind me," sobs Meowth.
"We've still got one thing though," sighs a despondent Jesse.
"WOBBUFFET!" proclaims Wobbuffet happily, saluting in front of the moon with headband fluttering in the wind.
Oh like you wouldn't!
| BEST QUOTES |
 "It's giganticle"
 "With all this food, we could have our own private Team Rocket fesitval"
"I think Wobbufett might look a little more threatening if we removed that headband"
|
|
