169: Mountain Time
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Like wearied parents, Misty and Brock comment on Ash's burst of energy up in the crisp mountain air. Knowing he'll be all tuckered out later tonight, they're willing to let him run wild for the time being.
Ash and Pikachu move quickly through the trees with the unrestrained of innocent animals and incredibly stupid children. Suddenly a strange looking Pokemon zips by them, startling them both as it zooms by. Ash looks it up in Dexter and discovers the little red, yellow and black flying Pokemon is a Ledian, the evolved form of Ledyba.
Since Ash isn't in any rush to get to the quickly impending Johto League Championships or anything, he decides to rush after the Ledian and see where it's going. Rushing after it laughing like a loon, he and Pikachu chase it through the mountains and straight into a.... snowstorm!?!
Not quite. It seems that a moustached man in a green uniform (A Scoutmaster?) has his Pidgeotto flapping up a Gust Attack, which knocks Ledian for a loop and even throws Ash onto his ass.
A little boy with the Scoutmaster (alarm bells are going off!) rushes to the Ledian's side to check if it's okay as the Scoutmaster moves to Ash to apologise for the rough treatment.
Since Ash was chasing the poor little Ledian anyways, he quickly shrugs off any apologies, as his Momma Brock and Big Daddy Misty rush up to see if he was okay.
Back at the Scoutmasters Cabin (alarm bells are REALLY ringing now!) we learn that the Scoutmaster is actually a Forest/Mountain Ranger (stopping bears from stealing Pickanick Baskets perhaps?) who is responsible for the entire mountain region.
Damn! that's a big backyard!
Yes The Ranger, his Pidgeotto and two Ledian apparently are responsible for everything.... with a little help from the Ranger's son, Benjy.
......
BENJY! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!
Yes Benjy is training to take over from his Daddy's bidness, and they've been training the younger Ledian to be able to do it's jobs in any and all conditions. So they've been trying to strengthen it's wings and increase it's flight control in adverse conditions by using Pidgeotto's Gust Attack.
But enough of such talk, it's time for The Ranger to get down to the local village. Luckily he can leave Benjy in the care of three complete strangers they just encountered in the Mountains.... their only communication with the outside world an easily damaged radio.
If he'd been a Scoutmaster he'd have been a bit better prepared!
With Daddy gone, Benjy sends out his Ledian to train some more, sending it flying through the woods to increase it's agility and flight control. Every day Ledian flies through a pre-ordained course as Benjy (complete with little green short shorts) times him. And every day they try to increase Ledian's speed.
Ledian seems pretty damn confident, until suddenly another gust of wind strikes and sends it reeling. Struggling to fight against the blast of wind, Ledian is quickly overpowered and finds itself hovering in the air due to a bizarre, unnatural wind condition that Benjy has never seen in the forest before.
"What is that?" asks Benjy as they rush forward and see the source of the wind, a large cable with a giant suction attachment blowing out wind.
"It looks like trouble!" cries Ash.
Oh you all know what's coming next!
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" laugh two VERY familiar voices as a Giant Buddha Face Meowth Balloon rises up over the treeline.
"It looks like trouble because that's what it is!" cries Jesse.
"And make it double, the twerp is a whiz!" mocks James.
"To protect the world from devastation."
"To unite all peoples within our nation."
"To denounce the evils of truth and love."
"To extend our reach to the stars above."
"Jesse," says Jesse, popping out of the basket wearing an apron and washrag over her hair.
"James!" agrees James, wearing the same.
"Team Rocket cleaning up at the speed of light."
"We'll take your dingy Pokemon and make them BRIGHT!"
"Meowth, dat's right!" cries Meowth, leaping up and hurling a bucket of water at Ash, who dodges just in time.
Oddly enough, Jesse is wearing the pink apron instead of James.
"Team Rocket!" cries Misty.
"Up to their dirty tricks!" snaps Brock.
"Tricky perhaps, but not dirty!" corrects James.
"We're here to clean up using our Team Rocket Gust Attack Blow 'n' Vac!" adds Jesse.
Meowth explains that the Team Rocket Gust Attack Blow 'n' Vac has two settings, one that blows air out. Pushing a button blows Ledian back towards the twerp, Benjy catching it as Misty drops Togepi in surprise.
The other setting sucks things in, and pushing that button, Meowth sets off the machine which sucks Pikachu and Togepi inside!
Pulled through the cable, Pikachu and Togepi are sucked inside of a shock proof glass bottle. Team Rocket are delighted, even more so by the bonus of having Togepi as well. Knowing that most of their plans have been ruined in the past by sticking around to brag and taunt Ash, they take off straight away.
Ash yells at them to come back (because yeah, that'll work) and Ledian flies up to try and save then. But the Team Rocket Gust Attack Blow 'n' Vac changes it's setting and blows Ledian away again. It seems that Team Rocket are going to get away with it..... until a gust of the dangerous crosswinds familiar to all mountainous regions blows them off course and perhaps to their doom.
Ash, Misty and Brock prepare to give chase, but Benjy stops them, warning them that without guidance they'll get lost easily in the mountains.
But obviously the twerps can't just give up, so Benjy sighs and agrees that this is his responsibility. He will call up his Father and let him know what's happening, then lead the twerps into the mountains to find Pikachu, Togepi and Team Rocket.
"WHY IS IT ALWAYS THE SAME!?" roars Jesse as we discover the ruins of the Happy Buddha Face Meowth Balloon draped over a (apparently naturally occurring) spike shoving out of the side of one of the mountain faces, "WHY DO WE ALWAYS FAIL!?!?!"
"Why why why? Why why why why why!?!?!" she roars, shaking James back and forth.
"Why ask me!?!" sobs James, "I don't know anything!"
"That's part of the problem!" she hisses back.
"Let go!" whimpers James miserably as Pikachu and Togepi stare around at their surroundings from the confines of their glass bowl, "You're ruining the fabric!"
Meowth hisses at the two to quit it. The basket is hanging over the side of the spike, help up only by the ropes attached to the balloon hanging over the other side of the spike.
James decides to call out Victreebell, figuring that it can use Vine Whip to pull them to safety. Instead, Victreebell grabs him around the head and starts shaking, and as James tries to get free the ropes break and send them plummeting.
They crash into what feels like solid ground, the glass bowl tipping to allow Pikachu and Togepi to get out. They sit on the ground looking around, Pikachu concerned and Togepi seemingly delighted by the amusing distraction of being 'captured' by Team Rocket.
Suddenly the 'solid' ground Team Rocket landed on cracks and breaks, revealing it was just another rocky outcropping. The pillar falls fast, smashing into the sides of the mountains, crashing into the ground and sliding fast downhill.
Shocked and frightened but still alive, Team Rocket look up in just enough time to see that the path they're sliding down curves up and then ends..... in the air.
"GOODBYE TEAM ROCKET!" they cry as they go flying over the side, everyone screaming except for Togepi, which laughs demonically and.... shakes its club-hands from side to side much like a Metronome Attack.
And lo and behold, they land safely.
Or rather...... they find themselves balanced dangerously on a narrow point of rock lifted out of the earth..... and even something as delicate and beautiful as a kitten-sneeze will send them plummeting to their doom!
Meanwhile Ash, Misty, Brock, Benjy and Ledian are rushing along the Mountain Roads to try and locate Team Rocket. They seem to be making good progress until, inexplicably, massive rocks burst free from the mountain top and smash down into their path, blocking their way.
Surprised, Ash decides to climb over the rocks, but suddenly, just as inexplicably, more rocks begin to shift and fall down towards them. Momma Brock lays down his veto, proclaiming that they are NOT going to climb over the rockfall. It's too precarious and could collapse at any time, so they'll just have to go another way.
Benjy DOES know another way, but it's also dangerous. It's not like they have any choice though, and they set off for the old rope ladder leading up to the old service road.
Apparently it hasn't been used for many, many years, and Benjy wants to check it for safety first. He climbs gingerly up the rope, checking each pin and winch as he goes to make sure it's secure and fastened in place.
Getting to the top and satisfied by the strength of the rope, he calls down to Ash, Misty and Brock to follow him up.
Since the rope ladder held the weight of one very small boy, it stands to reason it will hold the weight of a moron, an angry red-head and a tanned, toned and taut Breeder (snicker) all at once. However, the rope ladder does seem to carry their weight okay and they make good progress up.
Until.
Suddenly, inexplicably, a wind kicks up and begins tugging and pulling at the rope. Suddenly, inexplicably, the previously secure pins and fastenings rip loose and sends the rope ladder plummeting into the chasm below.
Or not.
Yes, because it seems Benjy also happens to be the world's strongest little short shorts wearing boy. Clutching the end of the rope ladder he is holding the combined weight of Ash, Misty and Brock all together. He sends Ledian on down to help and remarkably the weak looking bug begins to haul all three up along the ladder.
Suddenly, inexplicably, another gust of wind blows up and begins blowing them about again. But when Ash calls out Noctowl to help Ledian, the wind proves an ineffective obstacle for them to overcome.
It should be pointed out that during the lift to safety, Brock is staring up at Misty's ass and is heard to moan, "YEAH!" at least once.
Make of that, what you will.
Once to safety, Noctowl collapses from the physical exertion.
It hasn't had the intense training that Ledian has, plus it's more used to sitting around doling out mind-altering substances. Ash calls it back as they prepare to set off in search of Team Rocket once again.
And what of Team Rocket?
Well they're apparently meditating, Jesse, James, Meowth and Victreebell lined up in a row. Pikachu sits behind Togepi (kinda dodgy pose actually) as the little demonic parasite apparently slumbers.
Jesse is starving, and so are Meowth and Victreebell.... but James is doing okay, chewing on a chocolate bar!
"So you've been holding out, I demand to know where you got that chocolate bar!?!" demands Jesse.
"It's mine, you and Meowth ate yours yesterday," grumbles James. "You ate haf o mine!" screams Meowth, leaping at James as Victreebell squeals and charges as well, "YESTERDAY!"
"So what!" snaps James, "I live for today!"
Instantly Team Rocket are locked in mortal combat over the chocolate bar, battling back and forth and severely unbalancing the slab of rock.
Shocked, Jesse and Meowth charge over to Pikachu and Togepi's side of the rock, followed by James with the Victreebell on his head. This merely unbalances the rock the other way, so they move back the other way, which of course unbalances the rock again.
Meowth takes charge, demanding that James and Victreebell stay where they are. Jesse, Meowth, Pikachu and Togepi move to the other side of the rock and..... the precariously unbalanced rock is precariously balanced again.
At which point Togepi runs at James roaring with drunken laughter.
The rock begins to slide over again as Jesse, Meowth and Pikachu watch in horror, knowing they can't move to stop it.
Enter Wobbuffet.
The patiently pleased Pokemon salutes and happily proclaims it's name as the rock slides over the side completely and sends them all plummeting towards doom and certain death.
And a laughing, insane Togepi waves it's arms and once again seemingly controls the effects of the unpredictable Metronome.
The screaming, horrified Team Rocket suddenly, inexplicably find themselves lined up once again atop the slab of rock, once more sitting precariously balanced on the pinnacle of the rock-hill.
"Could someone please tell me," whispers Jesse very carefully, "How we got back up here?"
"I haven't the foggiest," whispers James quietly.
"Maybe somebody used teleport?" ponders Meowth.
"That can't be true," says Jesse, turning to stare at Wobbuffet, "You don't think that, do you?"
"WOBBBBBB-UFFET!" nods Wobbuffet with a smile.
Jesse pulls on the side of Wobbuffet's cheek cruelly, making it cry out. Satisfied at this, apparently, she proclaims that everything that just happened was obviously a dream.
Yes, apparently it was all a dream she tells the incredulous James, Meowth, Victreebell and Pikachu as Wobbuffet nods happily and agrees while in the background..... Togepi happily, greedily chows down on James' chocolate bar.
Inexplicable.
Ledian flies through the air searching for Team Rocket, and it finds them at last. Still sitting on the slab of rock, they appear to have become resigned to the shifting, twisting rock as Togepi roars with laughter and rushes back and forth, unbalancing the rock as Pikachu tries to capture it and settle it down.
Jesse is still convinced that this is all a dream, nothing but a dream. As she sits trying to explain this to everyone, Ash and Misty's voices penetrate through the drunken, roaring laughter of Togepi's playtime with the lives of Team Rocket.
Ash calls out Bulbasaur to save them, asking Bulbasaur to use it's Vine Whip. Unfortunately it seems that Bulbasaur isn't as manly as we all thought, as it's Vine Whip proves to be 'too short'.
Poor little bastard.
And then suddenly, inexplicably, another massive burst of wind kicks up and begins knocking around the slab of rock again. Ledian makes an impassioned speech to Benjy about going up there to save the day, and after a couple of minutes the strange little boy in the green short shorts comes to the realisation that if they don't actually do something.... well then two humans and five Pokemon die.
That won't look good on the resume.
Giving Ledian a rope, Benjy hooks one end around a rock with the help of Ash (Ash holds the rope, that's it!) while Ledian flies through the rough winds holding the other end of the rope. Wrapping the rope around the tip of the large rock-hill, Ledyba then wraps a net around the taut rope which Victreebell, Wobbuffet, Meowth, Togepi, Pikachu, Jesse and James jump into.
Holding onto the edge of the large, heavy net to keep it sliding down the rope too fast, Ledian slowly moves the net down the rope, struggling to keep it from careening off at breakneck speed.
It seems that the net is going to make it safely, but then suddenly, inexplicably, the rocky slab falls off of the pinnacle of the rock-hill and falls onto the rope, dragging it down and sending the net falling down towards doom and death!
Ash, Misty, Brock and Benjy cringe in horror at the thought of all the blood 'n' stuff...... but nothing happens!
Yes, sorry kids but all the gooshy stuff got stopped when Ledian caught the net and.... is holding it up in mid-air!
Lowering the net towards the ground, the super-strong Pokemon seems to have everything in order and Team Rocket finally realise they're going to live through this..... so it's time to do something devious.
Wrapping Pikachu and Togepi up in a sack, they cut through the net and drop a few feet to the ground. As a shocked trio of twerps try to figure out how the villains could do something so..... villainous.....
Benjy calls on Ledian to attack.
But Ledian is exhausted and is quickly overwhelmed by Victreebell, and Bulbasaur's attempted Razor Leaf Attack is caught up (along with Bulbasaur) in Weezing's Smoke-Screen.
Team Rocket prepare to run away, but before they can another gust hits, blowing away the Smoke-Screen.......
GAYSCOUTMASTERMAN TO THE RESCUE!
Ahem, our apologies, it's actually Benjy's Dad The Mountain Ranger who is here along with his much stronger Ledian and his Pidgeotto. Benjy's Dad says hello and asks if Team Rocket are the ones who kidnapped Pikachu and Togepi. When he gets an affirmation, he growls angrily (and believe us, when a moustached mountain man growls at you, you're pretty much fucked).
Before you know it, Team Rocket are blasting off again, hit by a combined Swift Attack from the two Ledians and a Thunder Shock from a freed Pikachu.
Benjy's Dad explains that the blocked off road slowed down their return after the message came through on the radio. As the day winds down the first star of the night appears and Ash is enamoured, saying that it's amazing (apparently Ash hasn't seen a star before). Benjy's Ledian's back begins to glow and along with the other Ledian it lifts into the air and begin floating around. White flecks of 'stuff' come out of their backs and Misty whispers happily that it looks like Stardust.
Stardust!
It's Ledian-Poop!
In any case, Benjy's Dad warmly congratulates his son for becoming the newest member of the Mountain Patrol. Benjy doesn't understand (maybe his sweatband is cutting off the circulation of blood to his brain) and it is explained that when a Ledian's back glows in the starlight like this, it is an indication that the particular Pokemon is well trained. And a well trained Ledian means that the trainer is ready to become an Officer in the Mountain Patrol.
Ash congratulates Officer Benjy (yeah, he'll get a lot of respect around the office with a name like that) as the sun sets, the stars come out, and the two Ledian continue to poop all over them.
But what of Team Rocket?
Well, inexplicably we discover that when they were blasted off they landed on.... lo and behold, another precariously balanced slab of rock!
"James, please stop moving!" Jesse snaps.
"You're the one who's moving, not me!" sobs James, reciting dialogue from the Holy Grail of Rocketshipping - An In-Character Fan-Fic.
"Don't move nuttin! Even your mouths!" Meowth admonishes them.
"WOBBUFFET!" agrees Wobbuffet, popping out of it's Poke-Ball to salute.
"GET BACK IN YOUR POKEBALL!" Jesse, James and Meowth cry as one before the slab of rock tips over and send them plummeting towards doom and, if not death, at least a great deal of pain before the next episode.
So you may be wondering, how were all these sudden, inexplicable things possible? Well if we consider Togepi's proximity to most of these events and it's apparent enjoyment of the events of todays episode, one can only assume that when Togepi wants to have a good time..... nothing gets in it's way!
| BEST QUOTES |
 "Why is it always the same? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?"
 "Why ask me, I don't know anything"
"That's part of the problem"
"I demand to know where you got that chocolate bar! "
"It's mine. You and Meowth ate yours yesterday"
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