162: Hassle in the Castle
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Given the strain it puts on animator's wrists, it rarely rains in Pokemon except for the movies and the odd really important episode. So to have the rain come down now is a shock. In a panic, Misty, Brock and Pikachu look to Ash for leadership, and the little genius gets them to take shelter from the thunder and lightning... under a tree.
Before Darwinism can take it's course, however, Pikachu notices a much nicer place to shelter from the storm.
Yes, that grim, gothic castle set atop that forbidding peak with lightning flashing around it must be the place to be!
One would guess the twerps have never seen an episode of Scooby Doo.
Making their way to the castle, they hammer and bang on the door, demanding entry so they don't get their footsies wet. When no one answers, they begin to suspect that the grim monolith may be deserted.... until the door creaks open by itself. Ignoring the fact that the door to this seemingly abandoned castle set far out in the forest in the middle of a thunderstorm just opened on it's own, the twerps enter. Looking around the deserted lobby, Misty suggests that the place is like some kind of palace.... until they hear a moan of pain.
Since the thunderstorm, lightning, rain, grim looking castle, Zubat door-knockers and creaking self-opening doors don't seem to be scaring off the kids, the moans and screams of pain aren't likely too either. Nope, the kids charge down the gloomy corridors where the screams are coming from and burst in the door to demand that.....
MUMMY! WHAT IS THE MACHOKE DOING TO THAT MAN!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!???!!?!
The kids stare in horror at a man lying on a stomach groaning in pain as a Machoke hunches over him working his arms into his victims back.
A Spinarak squirts white sticky fluid over a woman's extended arm while another groaning man has hooked up cable to his body to allow a Mareep to send him electrostatic shocks.
"What's going on here?" asks Ash (his Daddy could probably tell him, he probably invented most of these perverted acts).
"Oh?" gasps a pink-haired woman,"You must be here for a treatment session?"
A treatment! Lady, they're kids!
In any case, it seems that Castle HornyMcRorny is booked up, and they'll need an appointment to get their rocks off. Ash explains they're only here for shelter from the storm.... at which point Brock launches forward to introduce himself to the wicked Madam.
"Hi, pleased to meetcha! My name's Brock, but you may prefer to call me by an affectionate nickname that matches my most endearing personality trait!"
"Well... I..." starts the Madam, who doesn't serve, only supervises.
"If you like strength!" roars Brock, throwing his arms high, "Call me Rocko Brocko!"
"Romantic?" he asks, going over all coy, "Try lover."
"Or Brocky, anything! you can call me any name that fits me! Well, what would you like to call me?"
"Why don't you try... insane?" sighs Misty.
"Let's start with Brock," smiles the Madam, then introduces herself, "And I'm Dr Anna."
"Oh you're a Doctor!" gasps Brock,"I've finally found the perfect person to examine my heart, cure my loneliness.... and treat me with LOVE!"
One of Dr Anna's whor.... nurses.... pops in and tells her they're ready for a scan, and the twerps join them. A young man with medical.... well, medical concerns.... is having a Zubat wearing a green scarf circle around over him, giving Dr Anna a Ultra-Sound look at his innards. She gives him the all-clear, telling him there is nothing wrong with him, and then suggests he gets a Machoke 'Massage'.
Given that the man now knows that burning sensation wasn't a sign of something worse, he happily agrees. Dr Anna then explains what's going on in the castle. She uses the Pokemon's abilities to 'help' people, giving them what they can't get anywhere else. She pimps out.... we mean she and the Pokemon work together to provide a service not seen anywhere else.... except for in certain parts of Pallet Town on a Saturday night, of course.
And why in a castle? Well, it turns out that one of Dr Anna's 'clients' owned the castle and they moved in after that former client 'went away.'
Make of that, what you will.
And Brock does, instantly trying to get involved in this little scam by begging Dr Anna before she can go on her rounds.
"DR ANNA DON'T GO! I may not be a Doctor.... or live in a castle! But there's one important thing we have in common! ZUBAT! I CHOOSE YOU!"
Zubat pops out, flapping it's wings and making weird ffft, ffft noises that seem to impress Mimi (Anna's Zubat) which flaps around it in a circle.
"Look!" gasps Brock, practically dripping with desperation, "They're a perfect team! Just like we could be Dr Anna! I can see us now! Working hand in hand with our Zubat all for the good of humanity!"
"Well...." starts Dr Anna, before Misty does her part to drag Brock's hopes and aspirations down.
"That'll be a little tough Brock," she giggles as even Ash laughs at Brock's piss-poor effort, "Zubat's don't have hands."
Brock doesn't let getting made fun off by small children get him down, though, as he suggests that Dr Anna let him and his Zubat assist her in her rounds. Before she can protest he shoves her on her way, while his Zubat and Mimi fly off after them. Ash suggests they might make a good couple, with Misty agreeing.... as long as he means the Zubat.
At this point Ash's greedy stomach roars to be fed, causing Togepi great delight - perhaps it senses a kinship with anything else that demands constant servicing.
Speaking of Team Rocket, which we weren't, it's Team Rocket!
Sneaking up a darkened corridor with flashlights lighting the way, Team Rocket are surely planning nefarious deeds.... like keeping out of the rain and maybe even getting some food, the bastards.
"We could have knocked on the front door," complains James, "Why did we have to sneak in the back way?"
"It's what all the villains do, James!" Jesse retorts.
"It's bettah dis way," agrees Meowth, "I get tah pussyfoot around, and I'm good at it!"
Well there's a turn up for the books! James complaining about going in the back way!
"Woh! Woh! Woh!" groans a voice in the dark, scaring Team Rocket. Jesse demands to know if it was James or Meowth who made the noise, but they both plead innocent.
"Woh! Woh! Woh!" groans the voice behind them again, and they twist their flashlight around to reveal a huge, menacing shadow before the source is revealed.
"WOH! WOH! WOH! WOOOBBUFFET!!!!!!!" proclaims Wobbuffet.
"I should have known it was you," sighs Jesse.
"Wobbuhhhh!" agrees Wobbuffet happily as it is called back into it's pokeball.
As James pretends he wasn't scared, Meowth sniffs food and leads them to a giant spread.
"Immmm, mmmm, mmmm!" mmmm's Jesse as she bites into an apple, "We're so lucky!"
"WOBBUHHH!!" agrees Wobbuffet, walking by her as her smiling face turns into a scowl.
"With this much food we can eat for a week!" grins James, walking by with a big sack of food slung over his shoulder.
"WOBBUHHH!!" agrees Wobbuffet, coming back the other way.
"Oh get back in your Pokeball!" snaps Jesse.
"WOBBBBUHHHHH!!!!" proclaims Wobbuffet as it is sucked back in, Jesse telling it that they can eat for two weeks without it around.
"Dis is great!" grins Meowth, chowing down on what looks like a croissant, "We're outta da rain, sitting in a Castle and eating like Kings!"
"It's super-nice of you to feed us like this, we can't thank you enough....." says a familiar voice from through a nearby closed door. It opens and Team Rocket find themselves facing Ash, Misty and one of Dr Anna's whor.... nurses.
"HEY! TEAM ROCKET!" cry Ash and Misty.
"HEY! THOSE TWO TWERPY LITTLE BRATS!" cry Jesse, James and Meowth.
Meanwhile, Brock has started to raise Dr Anna's interest. He's told her about his desire to become a Pokemon Breeder (snicker) and, as a pim.... Doctor.... she can only be interested.
As Brock tells her that he's ready to abandon his dreams at the first sign of a pretty face, Team Rocket come charging past Geodude and Pineco with sacks of food over their shoulders.
"Excuse me!" cries Dr Anna,"Do you have an appointment?"
Jesse and James pull up short, shoulders quaking as they try to resist their dramatic leanings. If they just run now they might get away.... but the motto! the motto!
"We have no appointment but we've been having some trouble," Jesse says, twisting around.
"So prescribe us some ointment on the double."
"To protect us from all that chafing and itching."
"It might finally stop all of Jesse's.... complaining."
"To eradicate the evils of athletes feet."
"Maybe I can get rid of my prickly heat!"
"Jesse."
"James."
"Team Rocket's been scratching at the speed of light!"
"So give us some salve or we'll never sleep tonight!"
"Meowth, dat's right!"
....
BEST MOTTO EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
In any case, complaining and prickly heat aside, Meowth is currently hovering in mid-air, and he turns to face Jesse and James, screaming, "Hey come on you guys! Grab da grub and let's get outta here!"
Ash and Misty come charging in demanding that Team Rocket return the food rightfully meant for their freeloading bellies.
"Don't you dimwits realise that possession is 9/10th's of the law?" asks Jesse.
"At least in Food-Court!" adds James.
Meowth challenges Ash to try and take the food off of them, but when Pikachu takes the challenge, Team Rocket turn, leap over a velvet rope (a velvet rope! Most deadly of all barricades) and take off. Dr Anna screams for them not to run down THAT corridor, which Team Rocket take to mean that it's a shortcut to the way out. Dr Anna, Brock and their Zubat's give chase with Ash, Misty, Pikachu and Anna's 'nurse' close behind.
As Team Rocket charge along, they stamp their feet down onto a section of floor that drops into a ramp. They tumble down head over heels, Brock and Dr Anna unable to stop their own forward momentum and joining them.
The Zubat follow, as Ash, Misty, Pikachu and the 'nurse' are blocked off by a raising stone-wall.
They all slide down the ramp, another stone wall crashing down afterwards to leave them trapped.
"They have some nerve setting a trap like that," complains Jesse.
"We're the ones who have the patent on pit-falls!" growls James, "If we ever get out I say we sue!"
"Are you all right Brock?" asks Dr Anna.
"As long as I'm with you," grins Brock, causing his Zubat and Mimi to ffft with laughter. Dr Anna is directed by Zubat to a nearby light switch which gives them a chance to look around. The ramp is completely sealed off now, so there is no way back that way. With the lights on, Team Rocket are ready to up and go. They have their food, the twerps are no longer on their tail, they might as well make the best of a bad situation.
Dr Anna asks them what they think they're doing and Team Rocket has the cheek to be offended at the 'poor' hospitality of the castle they chose to break into.
"Maybe we can break into a NICE castle that isn't booby-trapped," sniffs James.
"Arriveadoochi!" grins Meowth, butchering the Italian language instead of the English for a change.
They turn and ignore Dr Anna's warning, running forward and crashing into a wall that seems to spring out of nowhere. Dr Anna explains that they're in a maze (without explaining why her old missing 'client' had one of these down here) and they can't just run around willy-nilly.
So how are they going to get out if not by invoking the powers of willy and his cousin nilly? Why with Zubat of course!
Mimi uses her SuperSonic which Dr Anna records with her laptop, giving a basic outline of the maze stretching out before them.
"HEY! You downloaded it's Supersonic scan to your computer!" exclaims Brock.
"Cyber!" grins James.
Unfortunately, Mimi's scan didn't get the whole maze, but luckily Brock has a Zubat of his own! It uses it's Supersonic and gives Dr Anna a full scan of the maze.
"See!" cries Brock, still desperate for just a little hotty-patotty, "Their Supersonic Waves harmonised perfectly, just like WE do, Anna!"
"Well," says Anna, ignoring him, "According to the computer, we should take the passage on the right."
While Anna uses technology and Pokemon together to get them out of the mess they're in, upstairs her head ho..... nurse..... is looking through a map of the area. She has explained to Ash, Misty and Pikachu that there are miles of underground passages under the castle, and it could take weeks for anyone to find their way out. However, there is only ONE exit out in the forest.
Back underground, Dr Anna has come to an impasse. There are two passages they can choose from, but Mimi and Zubat's Supersonic's are indicating danger from both paths.
"We could all be trapped here for the rest of our lives!" moans James.
"Well dat's dat!" grins Meowth," obviously not letting anything get him down, "Let's take a break and make a sammich!"
Outside, it's daytime and the rain has stopped. As the last raindrops fall from leaves, Ash, Misty and the 'nurse' have found the exit... which unfortunately is so out of use that it's become grown over.
Ash has help though, apparently Pikachu, Pineco, Geodude and.... Togepi? are going to dig them out.
Inside, Dr Anna is typing away at her laptop while James.........
MUMMY! WHAT HAS JAMES DONE WITH THE KITTY!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Lying on his back with mouth wide open and Meowth lying back across his crotch, James presents a disturbing image. Surely they're just tired and sleepy... surely that must be it! Otherwise, why Pokemon wouldn't be a kids show at all.... not at all.
"I wish she would hurry up," sighs James.
"What's da big rush?" asks Meowth, snug against Jame's crotch, "I'm getting tah like it down here!"
........
Just a kids show?
The Zubat's Supersonic around and around as Anna tries to make sense of their scans. It's taking too long though, and Jesse smashes past Anna and Brock angrily.
"I'm not afraid!" she hisses, stalking forward and shaking her ass back and forth defiantly (mmmm, defiant), "She who dares wins! That's my motto, now who's got the guts to follow me into the unknown?"
"WOBB-UH-FETT!" cries Wobbuffet.
"Wobbuffet?" she gasps, spinning around to face the saluting blue blob, "What are you saying? Do you want to follow me into the unknown?"
"WOBBB-UH!" salutes Wobbuffet, sparkles glinting off of it's patiently pleased face.
"Hoh!" gasps wobbly-eyed happy Jesse, "How touching.... very well, onwards!"
"JESSE!" cries Brock as she and Wobbuffet plunge forward towards the passageway, "NO!" Her foot slams onto the threshold of the passageway and instantly a stone-wall lifts her up and over, sending her flying backwards onto her head.
Instantly Anna's scan shows that the other passage has now become safe!
Obviously this is how it works, both passages will be trapped until one is set off... and then the other becomes safe!
"Wobbuffet!" agrees Wobbuffet.
"Hey!" growls Jesse at her happy blue blob, "I thought YOU were the fall guy?"
Outside, Ash, Misty, Pikachu, Geodude, Pineco, Togepi and the 'nurse' are working at clearing the exit..... or rather, everyone else is working while Togepi chases Pineco about roaring with drunken laughter.
Inside, we're treated to a close-up of Jesse and James' crotches before cutting to an overhead shot of them all as Anna calls a halt.
A wall is blocking their path, which is causing James some great distress, he wants to get out!
Yep, James has a long history of getting out of things, all right!
Jesse won't be stopped though. She knows that she can get out of this and asks for Wobbuffet to assist her. Wobbuffet gladly agrees and rushes with Jesse towards the wall.
"It's dangerous!" cries Brock.
"Of course it's dangerous!" giggles Jesse, "But not for me!"
And with that, she grabs Wobbuffet from behind and.... SHOVES IT INTO THE PATH OF DOOM!
Wobbuffet is flung forward and lands on it's feet.... and nothing happens at all!
"It's all clear!" gasps Jesse, "Let's go!"
She charges forward and.... two walls fall from either side on top of her, crushing her into the ground.
"It just hit me!" cries Anna, "The trap mechanism must be triggered whenever somebody walks across the floor!"
"WOBBUFFET!" cries Wobbuffet, saluting.
"It.... just hit me.... too!" moans Jesse.
"WOBBUH-FET!" Wobbuffet agrees.
Outside, Ash hits something hard with a pickaxe, and he and Misty clear it away to reveal the edge of the exit.
Inside, the Zubat's become excited at something, Dr Anna suggesting they may see an exit.
For Brock this is the best possible news, because it must mean that Anna can't fail to see they were meant to be together.
"I told you Doctor," says Fantasy-Sequence Brock, "I mean Anna, I told you that we could be a great team just like our Zubat."
"I know you did Brock," replies Fantasy-Sequence Anna with a smile, "But it was just too wonderful, I couldn't believe you!"
"Yes it is wonderful Anna," agrees Fantasy-Sequence Brock, "The most wonderful thing ever, and soon we'll look just like our Zubat."
They look up at the Zubat, which are dressed in tuxedo and wedding dress.
Next thing we know, Fantasy-Sequence Brock and Fantasy-Sequence Anna are rushing out of a church married. A collection of anonymous people in tuxedo's wave while Fantasy-Sequence Ash and Fantasy-Sequence Misty congratulate them.
"See you at the Reception," says Fantasy-Sequence Misty.
"We'll we're...." grins Fantasy-Sequence Brock,"....going straight to the Honeymoon.... but drop by and see us on your way back from the Johto League Competition......
.....I'll use our Zubat's Supersonic Waves to give check ups to you and Misty and Pikachu and Togepi and all of the Pokemon," continues normal Brock as Team Rocket saunter by him, "And if I find any problems I can cure them using the treatments I'll learn from Anna."
As Brock lives on in his own little fantasy world, Team Rocket discuss the abilities of the Zubat. They seem to be proving quite handy, which is why Jesse has decided to steal them!
As Ash, Misty and the 'nurse' push and shove against the revealed exit only a few feet away, Dr Anna is unaware of the danger her and Brock's Zubat are in. Before she can react, Team Rocket scoop the Pokemon up in a sack and charge the exit. They hit the door hard, expecting to barge right through..... and all of them collapse to the ground in a daze except for Wobbuffet, who is no fool.
Outside, Misty is complaining that there is no getting the door open by pushing it, even after that 'bang' they just heard inside. Pineco hears this and - in an attempt to help - blows it's ass up!
The door explodes inwards, knocking back Team Rocket even more and freeing the Zubat from the sack as Brock comes to Anna's aid.
Brock and Anna stumble out of the maze to meet up with the others, leaving their Zubat inside with Team Rocket. Misty looks in on the maze, commenting on how dark it is as Brock thanks Pineco for blowing it's ass up. As Misty notes that Team Rocket were in the maze too, a rope shoots out and catches Pikachu!
Team Rocket emerged, Pikachu trapped in that glass electric-proof cage that Meowth had hidden so carefully behind his charm.
"Give me back my Pikachu!" cries Ash.
"WOBBBBBBUFFET!!!!!!!!" roars Wobbuffet happily, leaping up before the twerps and knocking them over with shock.
"Good timing, Wobbuffet!" giggles Jesse as they rush away with Pikachu, which is futilely blasting away inside the bottle.
"Hey look guys!" giggles Meowth, "Bottled Pika-juice!"
James sends out Weezing to blow a Smokescreen, which the Zubat promptly blow away. Arbok attempts a Poison Sting Attack but a quick Supersonic from Brock's Zubat gets it all confuzzled, and it starts blasting it's Poison Sting at Jesse and James instead.
Apparently Zubat has been building up strength slowly over the last few years, as suddenly it glows white and.... evolves!
"Golbat," explains Dexter,"The, Bat Pokemon. The evolved form, of, Zubat. It has, four, sharp fangs, and emits, Supersonic Waves, more powerful, than, Zubat's."
It's also got no torso and a giant head that's almost all mouth.
Arbok clears it's head and attempts another Poison Sting Attack, but Golbat slaps them away with it's Wing Attack before using another Supersonic. This ain't yo' Daddy's Supersonic though, but a massive pulse of pure harmonic wave that passes over Arbok and Weezing and leaves them completely out of their heads, they collapse, Pikachu is dropped, the glass breaks and..... well, you can guess the rest.
Looks like Team Rocket's blasting off again!
Back in the whoreho.... Castle.... Dr Anna applies a bandaid to Brock's wrist....
HAHAHAHA! Apparently Brock has a wrist strain!
....and congratulates him on having a Golbat be so strong so soon after evolving. Brock gasps as he thinks about how he can use Golbat's powerful Supersonic to help Anna in her 'treatments'.
"It's too strong," Fantasy-Sequence Anna tells him.
"Yes," Fantasy-Sequence Brock agrees,"Our love is too strong, but look...."
Before Fantasy-Sequence Brock can finish explaining how their wedding will take place, however, Real-Life Anna explains she meant his Golbat's Supersonic is too strong... it overloaded her computer when she tried to measure it!
Of course this can only mean that Brock can't stay. How can he help out Anna in her 'treatments' if his Golbat is constantly overloading her computer.
Still, at least as he's dragged away on his ass by Ash and Misty, he can take heart from one of the last things Anna told him before they parted company.
"I'm sure you'll make a fine breeder some day."
| BEST QUOTES |
 "Hi, pleased to meet you. my name's Brock but you may prefer to call me by an affectionate nickname that matches my most endearing personality trait. If you like strength call me Rocko Brocko. Romantic, try Lover-Boy or Brocky. Anything. Well what would you like to call me?"
 "It's a good thing I don't scare easily"
 "To protect us from all that chaffing and itching!"
"it might finally stop all of Jesse's............complaining!"
"We could be trapped here for the rest of our lives!"
 "Well dat's dat. Let's take a break and make a sammich"
 "See you at the reception"
"Well....we're going straight to the honeymoon...."
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