158: The Bug Stops Here!
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Moving ahead to check it out, they come across a man in a Venomoth outfit (one of life's winners obviously). He informs them that they still have time to enter the Bug Pokemon Catching Competition. Apparently the contest is open to all comers, and the prize is a SunStone and whatever Bug Pokemon you capture.
Misty gets very squeamish at this idea, and Brock explains that she's not big on bugs. Ash however, is, and breaks through the fourth wall to tell us that he'll not only enter this competition, he'll win it!
The Twerps approach the long sign-in line, jabbering away as usual. Their high pitched twaddle attract the attention of a Pokemon and it's Trainer waiting in line. Turning around the Chikorita approaches the twerps with it's Trainer in tow. The Trainer squeals in delight and greets the kids, who react in different ways. Brock seems impassive, Misty delighted and Ash shocked.
Why shocked? Well because he's never actually met up again with any of the people he's actually ever promised to meet up with again before!
It's Casey and her Chikorita!
Yes, the annoying fan of the Electabuzz Baseball Squad has returned far sooner than any of us suspected (or wished). Her Chikorita happily yabbers away at Pikachu, who responds in turn. Obviously looking better than the last time they saw her (when Ash kicked the shit out of her Chikorita), Brock compliments Casey who informs him that she's been a winning streak, just like the Electabuzz!
Misty falls into the deadly trap and notes that Casey still sounds like a big fan. Casey springs into action then, offering to sing them the Electabuzz's new Fight Song.
"Let's all cheer Electabuzz, greatest team of all!" she sings, swinging an Electabuzz flag while her poor brainwashed Chikorita swings it's headleaf about, "The players charge the field and doubleteam the ball!"
"They're the crew with Mega-Punch when they are in a crunch!"
"Metronome! Safe at home! Hyperbeam too!"
"Win! Win! Through... thick or thin!"
"Electa-buzz it's you! YAAYY hehehe!!"
The twerps stare in sweat-dropped horror at this hideous abortion of a theme-song. It seems that Casey has not lost any of the geekiness that made her such a.... ahem.... beloved addition to the host of freaks Ash has promised to meet again someday.
But then, Ash is a freak himself and finds himself getting caught up in the spirit of competition once more. He tells Casey that despite her and the Electabuzz riding a winning streak, he has his eyes set on the prize. Casey is delighted to here this, because if they're both desperate to win they'll both try harder, and then she'll look better when she beats him!
Ash hits back with empty boasting of his own, until finally Misty sets them both straight.
"I'm getting bored of this blabber, go register!"
Ash and Casey rush to do so, having been so caught up in the competitive spirit that they almost forgot to enter the competition!
Of course, there's another group that made sure they were all set to enter right on time. Unfortunately (and typically) for them though, things have not gone as planned.
"WHAT!?!" cries Jesse in shock, James beside her, "What do you mean you can't allow us to enter the contest?"
"Well, the Bug-Catching Contest is strictly for kids under sixteen," the poor loser-in-life dressed in a Venomoth costume explains, then smiles as he eyes up Jesse, "And you look a whole lot older than that to me!"
"Hmmm," sighs Jesse sadly, "How can I look like I used to?"
What follows is more disturbing than dodgy, as we see Jesse in knee high socks and a tiny skirt clutching a carry-bag squealing, "Look at me! I'm only 13!"
"I'm 12!" giggles the fantasy sequence James, dressed in some VERY small shorts and a blue jacket with red bowtie.
"Immm... immmm.... goo," adds Meowth, dressed like a baby with a dummy in his mouth.
"Uhhhh," says Mr Loser-In-Life as it's revealed this was no fantasy sequence, but that Team Rocket really had dressed up like that!
"Bug-Boy ain't buying it," sighs Meowth.
"WOBBBBBBB-UH!" agrees Wobbuffet, leaping out of nowhere to salute.
"GRRR!" grrs Jesse, slamming Wobbuffet aside them pumping her fist as she demands that Mr Loser-In-Life make up his mind and either let them in or not!
"Yo-Yo!" adds James enigmatically, pumping his own fist.
"I'm very sorry," stammers Mr. Loser-In-Life, "But there's nothing I can...."
Jesse snaps her fingers contemptuously, stating, "Take him away."
James and Meowth wrap up a shocked and bewildered Mr. Loser-In-Life and cart him off.
"Goodbye," Jesse says cooly, "And next time watch who you call old."
She then turns to camera with a sad look in her beautiful face,"I don't really look that much older than 16, do I?"
She stands waiting for an answer, camera fixed behind her showing just how short that skirt of hers really is. When no answer is forthcoming she turns an angry look and realises that nobody is there.
"Grrr!" she grrrs, "Why doesn't somebody say something!?!"
"You look like a baby!" offers James belatedly, sliding back into shot with Meowth.
"Yeah!" offers Meowth, then adds helpfully,"A cute little wrinkly baby!"
"Wobbuffet! Wobbbb!" agrees Wobbuffet, saluting as Team Rocket turn to stare at it.
"WOBB-BUH!!!!" cries Wobbuffet as Jesse smacks it for a home-run with her bag.
While these shenanigans (yes, shenanigans!) are going on, Ash, Casey and the other participants in the Bug Pokemon Hunt are getting ready to start. A suspiciously Amish looking official is telling them all the rules.
Rule 1: Trainers are allowed to use only one Pokemon each.
Rule 2: Trainers may only use a special Park PokeBall.
Rule 3: Trainers are given only one Park Pokeball.
Rule 4: When a Trainer has caught the Pokemon they think will win the contest, they must return for judging.
With the rules out of the way, he sends them off to the Hunt. The various Trainers charge away in different directions into the park. There are any number of Bug Pokemon out there, but only one can win the contest.
Misty and Brock stay behind with the other Trainer's parents. Settling down in a large amphitheatre with a giant screen showing various Trainers progress, Misty can't help but be concerned. Obviously the park is filled with Bug Pokemon, but surely there can't be anywhere around the concrete amphitheatre?
"They could be anywhere," Brock replies with a smile.
"Anywhere huh?" asks a nervous Misty, and lifts Togepi up, then turns it around to look at it's bum!
"UHHH!" gasps Brock at this dreadfully dodgy scene, almost collapsing onto his face.
Meanwhile Ash is out looking for bugs, admonishing Pikachu to keep it's eyes and ears open. Rustling in the long grass attracts their attention and they watch as a Weedle slithers out of the grass.
"AHHH!" cries Misty as she sees the Weedle larger than life on the massive t.v screen.
"Hey take it easy, it's just a screen!" says Brock, grabbing her by the shoulder and sitting her back down.
"I know," Misty says, "But why does it have to be high definition?"
Ash prepares to capture the Weedle, thinking that such a rare and valuable Pokemon will surely win him the contest. Before Pikachu can Thundershock it though, Casey's Chikorita appears from nowhere and blasts the Weedle with a Razor Leaf Attack. Casey then throws out her Park-Ball and catches the Weedle just like that.
Ash is shocked and horrified. That Weedle was his! HIS! Ask Ketchum! He storms up to Casey to complain, saying that he saw it first.
"We caught it first," counters Casey logically, then hits Ash with a series of baseball euphemisms, ending with the line, "Whether it's the top of the first or the bottom of the ninth, I always swing for the fences!"
"I'm sorry, I don't speak baseball," moans Ash, looking dejected as Casey points at him through the flames of competitiveness.
Misty has been half-watching from behind a tree, so scared of bugs that she can't even watch the screen. Brock insists that she get a little closer (GETCHA MINDS OUTTA DA GUTTA!!!!) but she can't, she's too terrified of all the....
Suddenly she notes a disturbing noise, and turning she sees Togepi conversing happily with a Caterpie. Whipping out her patented 'Caterpie Crushing Mallet' she swings wildly at the little bug, screaming at it to get out, get out, get out!
As she swings, Togepi sits beneath her roaring with drunken laughter, while Brock tries to calm her down, "Okay, just take it easy Misty!"
"How can I take it easy when there are bugs bugging me!?!" she demands of him.
Before he can answer, a Spinarak drops down between them. The angry markings on it's back change to display a smiley face, but she ain't having it. Swinging her backpack angrily, she twists the Spinarak towards Brock who isn't too partial to the spiders himself, running away with a sweat bubble running out of his forehead.
Meanwhile at a waterfall deeper in the park, Team Rocket are up to the usual funny business.
"I don't see why I have to be the bait," snaps Jesse, dressed in the Venomoth outfit Mr. Loser-In-Life was wearing earlier..... disturbing to think that poor bastard is lying naked and bound somewhere.
"Coz you're suited for da part, Jesse!" Meowth assures Jesse, perhaps referring to her 'jailbait' costume earlier.
"You look positively alluring!" insists James, who wasn't going to wear the outfit himself... it adds 20 pounds!
"You really think so? Well I do suppose my poise and my exceptional good looks are rather magnetic," giggles Jesse, looking a bit more.... ahem, rounded in the hips department in the unflattering costume, "Could any species resist my beauty? I think not!"
James spots a Venomoth approaching and points it out to Jesse. It approaches curiously and Meowth tells her to turn on the charm. She tries to, but in a manner more designed to allure Dodgemaster Tims rather than Venomoths.
"Hi! Don't be bashful," she giggles, waggling one finger suggestively, "Let's get acquainted shall we?"
The Venomoth turns and flees at top speed, leaving behind spores to dissuade pursuit.
"Come back here!" gasps a horrified, angry Jesse, "You can't reject me!"
Suddenly she notes the spores settling down over her, and feels her limbs grow leaden.
"Must be.... stun spore," she mutters, and collapses to the ground, body twitching slightly, "This won't work, these Bug Pokemon don't know a good thing when they see it."
"Let's go to plan B," moans James, weakly raising one arm as he lays flat on his stomach presenting the obligatory G.A.S.
"Yeah," adds Meowth, himself a victim of the Stun Spore, "Or maybe Plan Beedrill."
Meanwhile, Casey and Chikorita are looking for another Bug Pokemon to capture. Coming across a tree, Casey has a flash of inspiration and called for her Pokemon to tackle it.
The headband wearing little Pokemon leaps high and crashes hard against the trunk, knocking a number of Pineco down.
Watching on the screen back at the amphitheatre, Misty notes to Brock that Pineco aren't Bug-Types. Apparently though, they are. Brock explains that while they don't look like Bug-Types, they are, they evolve into Forretress.
Misty, who has been on fairly friendly terms with Pineco up till now, weakly suggests that they aren't bad for Bug-Types.
Casey may not share the same tolerance though, as she demands that Chikorita take on the Pineco. As they leap and bounce around like jumping jacks, Chikorita tackles one after the other. Ash arrives on the scene and tells Casey that Pineco always have the advantage over a Chikorita. Casey agrees, but she also knows that Chikorita will fight for her in that true, never-say-die Electabuzz fashion. She has it use it's Razor Leaf on the other Pokemon and before you know it.... the Pineco have all been taken out!
Casey is ecstatic, Chikorita is exhausted, Brock and Misty are impressed and Ash more determined than ever to win. Casey races off to find another Bug Pokemon to catch and Chikorita forces down it's fatigue to follow her.
Sitting in safety, Misty and Brock discuss Ash's chances. Right now Casey appears to have the momentum, and even though Misty can't stand Bug Pokemon she doesn't like the idea of her man coming home empty-handed.
As they ponder their friends failings, Togepi spots something and waddles out of sight.
Back in the park, Casey finally notices how tired her Chikorita is. Rather than give it a rest though, or even let the poor thing ride on her shoulder, she makes some 'Win one for the Gipper' speech about teamwork and pushing through the pain. Chikorita lifts slightly, and then Casey forgets all about it's weakness as she spots a Scyther crouching in the bushes taking a dump....
WELL WHY THE HELL DO YOU THINK IT'S SQUATTING IN THE BUSHES!?!?!?!
....and gets all excited. She knows that if she can catch a Scyther, she's almost guaranteed to win the contest.
As Scyther spots them and storms out of the grass angry at being interrupted answering nature's call, Casey tells Chikorita to show it who is boss and use it's Razor Leaf Attack.
Chikorita blasts out with it's Razor Leaf and sends Scyther reeling backwards. Casey is delighted, Chikorita somewhat exhausted, but at least Scyther has been defeated and.... oops, no, it's just really, really pissed.
It storms forward with a fury and begins swinging it's bladed arms at Chikorita and sending it flying. It crashes into the ground, gets up and gets smacked over again. Casey roars for Chikorita to fight back, telling it not to let Scyther walk, that the innings isn't over yet and many other sad baseball euphemisms.
Chikorita attempts to use a Razor Leaf Attack again, but this time Scyther is ready and bats aside the attack with contemptuous ease. The Razor Leafs are sent backwards and hit Chikorita, knocking it down and almost out.
Casey cries for Chikorita to keep fighting, and it reaches into that old bag of dirty tricks and pulls out the ol' Face Hump Attack. Leaping onto Scyther's face, Chikorita clings on as Scyther desperately tries to get it's face free of crotch. As Casey yells for Chikorita to hang on, Ash arrives and makes his presence known.
"Casey! This isn't fair!" he yells.
"Tough luck!" Casey snaps, eager for revenge on the boy who beat her so badly at their last meeting,"I saw this Scyther WAY before you did."
"I'm not talking about me," Ash retorts, rushing up beside her and pointing at the battle, "This isn't fair to Chikorita, you're pushing it too hard. It's barely hanging on, it's too weak to attack!"
"What do you know!?!" snaps Casey angrily, still wanting to prove herself, "Chikorita's gonna do whatever I tell it too!"
Chikorita looks up at this rather brash statement, and Scyther finally gets the opening it needs. It smacks Chikorita in the face and knocks it hard into the tree trunk. Crashing to the ground, Chikorita is too dazed to get out of the way as Scyther charges to finish it off. Before it can though, Pikachu hits Scyther with a Thundershock at Ash's command.
Taunting and insulting Scyther, Ash disrespectfully lowers his eyelids at the hurt Pokemon then turns and runs away. Before he goes he tells Casey to stick to Weedles, then escapes as Scyther gives chase.
A livid Casey can't believe Ash is going to top her again, and turns to grab Chikorita and give chase. But Chikorita is gone!
Back in the amphitheatre, Brock makes the rather lewd statement that it looks like Team Casey's gonna have to hit the showers. Before Misty can comment on this though, she notices that Togepi has disappeared! She looks around wildly for the insane little egg leech thingy, and Brock spots it on camera. It has gotten close to the action, near where Chikorita has run away too. Spotting Chikorita, the mad little Pokemon laughs and to-geh's away, but Chikorita is too weak and sad to listen. It simply sits sighing, only looking up when Casey comes across them.
The single-minded young girl is still desperate to catch up to Ash and capture that Scyther, but Chikorita doesn't exactly look eager. It gets up and strides away sadly as a shocked Casey tries some more euphemisms.
"Hey, you get back here!" she cries, "Quitters aren't allowed on this team! We have to win this game!"
"At least someone knows when to quit!" snaps Misty, pushing through the bushes and coming out next to Casey.
"What do you mean?" asks Casey.
"Toge-Toge-PRiiiiiii!" roars Togepi happily, spotting it's source of energy. Misty lifts it up and hugs it, then turns an angry glare onto Casey.
"What's more important to you, winning some contest? Or the well-being of your Pokemon?"
"How can you even ask me that?" she snaps angrily as Brock steps up behind her, "My Pokemon means everything to me!"
As Casey and Misty continue arguing back and forth, Chikorita watches from behind a bush. As Misty finally gets through to Casey, the Electabuzz Fan drops to her knees. Chikorita rushes out of the bushes to her as she sobs that she was so focused on winning that she forget about caring. Chikorita nuzzles up to her and Casey hugs her, telling her that she doesn't deserve a Pokemon like Chikorita.
Brock and Misty watch this touching display with smiles on their faces, and then a Paras drops onto Brock's back, causing Misty to swing her backpack in horror.
As these shenanigans (don't make us repeat ourselves) go on, the Scyther is still trying to find Ash.
It charges past some apple bushes.....
Apple bushes?
....and moments later Ash and Pikachu pop out. They grin as they watch the Scyther disappear into the distance, then notice a series of red eyes peering out of the darker bushes. Off course it's a set of Beedrills, Pokemon that Ash has never had much luck with. He rushes away as they swarm out, and luckily most of them keep on going up into the sky. One, however, turns to glare with it's compound eyes at Ash, who tosses his Park-Ball in an attempt to catch it. The Beedrill slaps the Park-Ball aside easily though, and Ash has to send in Pikachu to Thundershock it. The Beedrill is zapped and Ash once again tries the Park-Ball, this time capturing the Bug Pokemon.
Delighted at his victory, Ash leaps high crotch first and hugs Pikachu in mid-air. They land on the ground and.... the ground gives way beneath them and they crash into a specially prepared hole.
Yeah, you all know what's coming next.
Indeed, Ash does as well. Lying on the strangely shiny, smooth black floor of the hole, he tells Pikachu not to worry, it's just a lame Team Rocket trap.
He's proven wrong though, when suddenly bars slide up on all four sides of them and a steel barred roof drops down on top of them, forming a cage. A rope hooks the cage and lifts it out of the hole, attached to Team Rocket's Happy-Buddha-Face-Meowth Balloon.
"Prepare for trouble, you're behind bars!"
"Make it double, now Pikachu's ours!"
"To protect the world from devastation."
"To unite all peoples within our nation."
"To denounce the evils of truth and love."
"To extend our reach to the stars above."
"Jesse," says Jesse, appearing in a kimono with a little Goldeen in a plastic bag filled with water.
"James," adds James, with a candy-cane and plate of goodies in his hands.
"Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light."
"Surrender now or prepare to fight."
"Meowth, dat's right!" throws in Meowth, holding a banana with chocolate sauce.
Well you gotta give Team Rocket this, they have great props!
Ash demands that Team Rocket release them, and Pikachu adds an exclamation point by Thundershocking..... ASH!?!
Yep, the cage is shock-proof and the only one to get hurt is Ash, who fries as Meowth quips, "We got dem two locked up lock, stock and shock!"
"Just like a little lightning bug!" adds James.
"Exactly, hahahahaha!" laughs Jesse as Pikachu gently pats Ash on his head,"Who knew bug collecting could be so much fun!"
Satoshi Tajiri, that's who!
As Ash tries to figure out what to do (he's tried the usual methods he employs, yelling and Thundershocking) Team Rocket are disturbed by calls from below. Looking down, they spot Misty, Brock and Casey charging along after them.
They recognise Brock and Misty as twerps, but who the hell is the other girl?
She yells at them to release Ash, and they finally recognise her.
"It's that pep-squad girl from the Electabuzz losers!" Jesse and James cry together.
"Who are you calling losers?" cries Casey angrily, "The Electabuzz are great!"
"They stink!" reply Team Rocket, waving their hands in front of their noses as one.
"Wobbuffet!" adds Wobbuffet quietly, sincerely.
"Oh yeah!?!" sniffs Casey angrily, "That shows how much you know about baseball!"
"Wobbuffet," Wobbuffet counters, rather cogently one might add.
"She's right, huh?" asks Meowth, staring at Wobbuffet with surprise.
"I should start reading the sports page," mutters Jesse.
"You're the only ones who are losers here!" Casey whines.
"Wobbuffet," agrees Wobbuffet.
An aggravated Jesse shoves Wobbuffet down as Casey promises Ash that she'll help him like he helped her. She sends in Chikorita to use it's Razor-Leaf Attack, but a swinging net on a mechanical arm sweeps down from the Happy-Buddha-Face Meowth Balloon and blocks the Attack.
"Haha!" laughs James, "We made the catch!"
"Now I guess we'll all have to start using baseball terms," sighs Jesse.
"Dis is da bottom of da ninth!" quips Meowth, proving Jesse right,"And yer already got two strikes against ya, kid! And dis flaming fast-ball's gonna end the game!"
Meowth pushes a button and in a remarkable display of precognitive forethought, a giant baseball missile drops down out of their basket and prepares to blast off towards them.
Casey turns to Chikorita and lets loose with another 'Win one for the Mutha-Fukking Gipper' speech. She pours on the baseball euphemisms and somehow inspires Chikorita so much that.... it evolves!
Transforming into a MUCH larger Pokemon, Ash watches in wonder from his cage and pulls out Dexter to find out about Chikorita's evolution.
"Bayleef, the Leaf Pokemon, the evolved form, of, Chikorita. Bayleef emits, a spicy aroma, from the leaves around, it's neck, and, it's Razor Leaf, is extremely powerful."
"This is great!" gasps Casey,"You evolved!"
"BAY BAY!" roars Bayleef, sounding hideously retarded. Hopefully this is a result of the headband it once wore having been absorbed into it's head when it evolved, constricting the cerebral cortex and restricting bloodflow to the brain. The idea that all Bayleefs might sound like this makes us dread the day that Ash's Chikorita evolves.
"A Bayleef!" gasps Jesse.
"Now her... team doesn't stink," adds James.
"Actually," smiles Meowth,"It smells delightful."
"Deliciously fragrant," grins James.
"Wobbbbb-uffet!" agrees Wobbuffet.
"Keep your nose out of this!" hisses Jesse, shoving Wobbuffet down. She then turns her rage on her team-mates,"Well don't just stand around there sniffing, launch the missile!"
Meowth sets off the Fast-Ball Missile, but Bayleef cuts it to pieces with it's Razor-Leaf (incidentally cutting the cage free, causing it to drop to the ground and break open, freeing Ash and Pikachu). The missile explodes in mid-air before Pikachu hits Team Rocket with a Thundershock, sending them blasting off again!
With Team Rocket vanquished, Ash, Misty, Brock, Pikachu, Casey and the hideously retarded Bayleef return to the amphitheatre. There the suspiciously Amish-looking Judge makes his ruling.
Apparently the rest of the Bug-Catchers were pretty crap, either that or the National Park sucks. Ash's Beedrill is the best of the captured Pokemon and he wins first prize! He's given the SunStone and gets to keep the Beedrill as well.
With the little diversion out of the way, Ash finds himself saddled with a big-ass SunStone and a Beedrill... but maybe not for long. He and Casey are going their separate ways, and the usually dim little boy does have a real talent for freeloading.
He makes up some crap about how she would have won the competition if Team Rocket hadn't gotten in the way. He then tells her that she should be the one to have Beedrill. He explains that he knows she likes yellow striped Pokemon and a tearful Casey has no idea that he's just fobbing off a temperamental Pokemon he doesn't want.
She gets her own back on the little freeloader though, by singing her Electabuzz Fight Song to them one more time as they stare on in horror.
Between her ridiculous clothes, temperamental attitude, retarded Pokemon and proclivity for song, one wonders why the hell the writers chose her as the first returning Miscellaneous Character.
Well, to answer that, it could have been far, far worse.
It could have been Todd or Richie.
| BEST QUOTES |
Loser eying up Jesse: "Well, the Bug-Catching
Contest is strictly for kids under sixteen, and you look a whole lot older than that to me!"
 "Yo-Yo!"
"You look like a baby!"
 "Yeah! A cute little
wrinkly baby!"
 "Hey take it easy, it's just a screen!"
 "I know, but why does it have to be high definition?"
 "Come back here! You can't reject me!"
"Could any
species resist my beauty? I think not!"
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