157: Air Time!
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Hang on, scratch that, he's still in Goldenrod City..... but at least he's in a rush to get out.
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Hang on, scratch that, he's not in a rush at all. Still, at least he's making progress towards the exit.....
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Hang on, scratch that, he's sitting in the freaking Pokemon Centre casually eating breakfast!!!!!!!! Sitting with Misty, Brock, Togepi and Pikachu, Ash is in no damn hurry at all. Happily eating food he hasn't paid for, Ash looks set to be there for a long damn time. Only one thing could move him now.... a large, garishly dressed fat man!
And howzabout that! Here comes on now!
"Oh my goodness, is it you!" gasps a large, garishly dressed fat man wearing sunglasses and bearing a strange little moustache,"Is it really you!"
"I think it's me?" confused little Ash replies, unable to concentrate on eating AND thinking at the same time.
"You just have to be on our show!" moans the round, pink-shirted man as he clutches Ash's hands in his own and leans into his face.
"Huh?" huh's Ash, in true Ash fashion.
The large man explains that everybody who defeats Whitney for a Plain Badge appears on their radio show, and since Ash defeated Whitney for a Plain Badge..... he has to appear on their show!
Misty asks if their rotund new friend is the host of the show, which causes him to go over all gushy. Not at all, he insists with false modesty, before adding that he's been told he has the personality..... though he's much to shy to show it in public.
Having said this, the man in the bright pink shirt, loud red and yellow jacket, sunglasses in the morning and gold necklace goes on to tell them that he is the producer for a radio show called Poketalk.
Brock - despite never having a radio on him in any single episode of the show we can remember - has heard of Poketalk, it's the one with the girl who talks to Pokemon Trainers.
Aha, there's the key to his knowledge, a girl was involved.
In any case, the producer wants Ash, who looks less than pleased at the thought of being on the radio. Pikachu seems excited by the prospect though.... though not as much as vile, vile Togepi. At last, a chance to broadcast his message to the world!
But enough of this foolishness, let's skip out on the feisty red-head, flamboyantly gay man and cute but sadistic Pokemon. Instead, let us see what is happening with Team Rocket, made up of a feisty red-head, flamboyantly gay man and a cute but sadistic Pokemon.
Ahhhh, that makes a refreshing change, doesn't it!
Team Rocket seem more dejected than usual. They're hungry, they're footsore and they're penniless.
Having run out on their previous job of handing out free samples, they've got no money and no free samples to sample.... freely.
But when you're feeling down, look up to the sky.... and look at the giant tower jutting out of the cityscape, raping the skyline ostentatiously.
Spotting the tower, Team Rocket feel hope in their empty bellies. It looks like a department store! And that means there'll be a food department! And that means there'll be free samples!
Come, they do not say, though we wish they would, we must fly!
They arrive at the tower and stride proudly towards the doors, but before they can enter an officious looking guard blocks their path. They cannot enter without an appointment, an idea which shocks and dismays Jesse, they need an appointment to go shopping!?!?!
But no, it's not a department store at all, but a Radio Tower. Off to the side a crappy piece of modern-art has a monitor set into it, broadcasting the radio signal through the medium of television!
DJ Mary of PokeTalk is on screen, chatting happily away as Team Rocket stand staring at the screen.
"People used to say my face was perfect for radio," James says with a grin.
Jesse ignores this, the germ of an idea.... uh..... germinating.... in her head. She commands the others to follow her and heads away, and they return not long after dressed in their worst disguise ever.
Jesse is dressed in a bright red suit, pink cuffs emerging from the sleeves, a garish red and yellow polka bowtie around her neck. Wearing glasses that would horrify Dame Edna, she at least looks better than James. The usually stylish Jimmy is dressed like a high school nerd at prom, in green suit, ruffled, puffy white shirt and sunglasses matching Jesse's. Over his shoulder is slung a carry-bag (not quite a purse, unfortunately) containing the third member of the trio, Meowth.
"We're here to see Mary!" Jesse and James announce, and the now not so officious guard lets them straight through, even giving directions to the lift they need to take.
"HA! Dat guard must think you're celebrities," laughs Meowth, sticking his head out of James' carry bag.
"All you need to do to be a celebrity is act like you already are one Meowth," Jesse explains with a grin,"And sooner or later the public will agree."
"How true," smiles James.
Once inside, they start looking for things of value to steal. Unfortunately for them, the radio seems to place more value on tapes than copious amounts of money.
"I'm surprised they think this place is worth guarding," snaps Jesse, tossing old tape reels about.
"None of this has any REAL value," sighs James.
"Ain't dey ever heard of digital?" complains Meowth.
Suddenly the door to the storage-room they're looting opens and a surprised looking man pokes his head through. Terrified, Team Rocket stand caught in the act, the surprised man becoming angry as he stalks towards them with grim intent..... and then begins hauling them after him, berating them for being late!
Apparently they've only got two minutes to get into the interview room... they're supposed to be going on the air!
Obviously they're shocked to hear this, and their reluctance raises the harried techie's suspicions. Turning on them, he demands to know where their dummy is. The Pokemon Ventriliquist Act they booked was supposed to have a dummy!
"You think we're...." starts James, and Jesse slams her boot into his foot before twisting him around. She explains what is happening to her oh-so-pretty but ever-so-dim friend, the technician thinks that they're an act, and they can use this to their advantage.
"But we have no talent!" gasps James.
"Dat don't stop nobody in showbiz!" quips Meowth, popping out of the bag he's been hiding in. Jesse grabs him around the neck and twists him around so he's in the technicians face.
"See!" she coos,"Here's our dummy right here!"
"Looks pretty smart tah me," Meowth says, staring at the technician.
"Isn't he naughty," giggles James into the techies ear, covering up for Meowth who hasn't quite realised the scam yet.
"Yes," smiles Jesse as James twists the techie around and pushes him forward again.
"Okay let's go!" grins James, shoving the techie, "It's almost showtime!"
"Acting like a dummy shouldn't be hard for you," Jesse growls at Meowth, still holding up up in the air.
"Nyaaaa," sighs Meowth as he's carried away.
They enter the interview room where the garishly dressed Producer is watching DJ Mary. Spotting the trio, he leaps high and clutches his hands together in joy, then demands they get into the interview room. The techie shoves them in with Mary, who apologises for not having a chance to chat with them before they go on air in 3 seconds!
And then with a signal from another techie, they're back on air and Team Rocket are in the hot-seat!
"Rise and shine, Goldenrod City!" says Mary into her microphone,"I'm DJ Mary here on Pokeradio, with the Dugtrio Trio!"
The three stare at each other, then their natural instincts to perform kick in.
"Hello, hello, hello," Jesse half-sings.
"We're happy to be here," smiles James.
"Or anywhere!" Meowth throws in.
"HA!" gasps DJ Mary happily, who apparently doesn't know about the monitor sitting outside the Radio Tower,"I wish you listeners could see how amazingly lifelike this dummy Meowth is!"
"Hey you work in radio and I'm da dummy!" growls Meowth.
BANG! Jesse slams her fist into Meowth's head.
"Shut your mouth, Meowth!" she growls.
"SHE JUST CALLED ME A DUMMY!" roars the injured kitty back at her, who still hasn't grasped onto the nature of their scam yet.
"Can't you get it through the wooden head of yours that you are a dummy!" hisses James, grabbing Meowth by the head and twisting it around.
"No dummy.... dummy," grunts Meowth through clenched teeth.
"Wow," grins Mary,"I've had a lot of performers on this show, but the Dugtrio Trio are the most amazing ever!"
"Haha! Tanks kid!" grins Meowth, the trio forgetting their argument as they finally get recognition of their talent.
"Your friend looks and sounds very real," Mary continues,"How long did it take you to develop Meowth's character?"
"Fortunately Meowth's always been a character," smiles James, "Immmm!"
"I guess dat ain't no big surprise," Meowth adds, finally cottoning on to his role and deciding to have some fun.
"Mm... huh?" mm-huh Jesse and James.
"Dere ain't much character in dis trio," Meowth explains,"And I guess I got it all!"
"Don't be funny," hisses Jesse.
"I wish we weren't on the radio right now," whispers James,"Because I'd really like to give you something."
"Don't be bashful!" grins Meowth, who really isn't too quick on the uptake today,"Go ahead and let me have it!"
"Ooooo-kay!" smile Jesse and James, then slam his head into the table.
"There," J&J smile, as Meowth lifts his bruised head from the table and grins,"Dey got me."
Ahhh sweet animal abuse, is there anything more delightful?
While all this is going on though, what has happened to the twerps? Well it seems Ash has rung Pallet Town to brag to Daddy.
Unfortunately, Professor Oak already knows the news, in fact everyone in Pallet Town knows! How? Because Mrs Ketchum told them all during her interview on the radio!
No, DJ Mary wasn't doing a special on Crack-Whore Mistresses of Rich Socialites. They'd contacted Professor Oak when they found out the latest person to defeat Whitney came from Pallet Town. Asking Oak if he knew anyone who knew Ash, the good Professor has 'rung' Delia to let her know.
Rung huh? We get the feeling the good Professor rings Delia at least once a night.... sometimes twice if he's saved up his strength.
So it is that Professor Oak tells his bastard son that not only does the entire town of Pallet know that he's going to be on the radio, but they know exactly when as well.
Oak's parting advice for his son is to just relax, and the nervous, bone-shaking little boy barely manages to stammer out that yes, he is relaxed as Misty and Brock share a nervous look.
But enough of such nonsense, let us go back to our beloved Team Rocket!
Scoffing down as much as they can fit in their mouths, James and Meowth are taking advantage of PokeRadio's catering services. Jesse is on the phone wheeling and dealing, not for more money but more food!
Promising to consider going on the air tomorrow if they bring up more lunch, Jesse hangs up as James suggests that they try to get booked at a dinner theatre!
Meowth, his belly full and straining, has a further idea. Why not give up the Pokemon Poaching business and stick with Showbusiness! All three agree that they make more as the Dugtrio Trio than they ever did as Team Rocket, and for just a second it seems as if we may have seen the last of our beloved Team Rocket.
But then the radio-feed is pumped into their room and they hear DJ Mary announcing the next guest. A young trainer from Pallet Town, the name Ash Ketchum doesn't register anything for them.... until the name of his Pokemon is mentioned.
"Pikachu!?!" they gasp as one, as that old allure of illicit enterprise draws them in once again.
In the interview room, DJ Mary is trying her best to walk Ash through the interview process. The poor, dumb bastard is hopeless though, sitting with his shoulder drawn up and his entire body stiff.... well hopefully not his entire body, since Pikachu is sitting on his lap.
"Ash, can you tell us a little about yourself?" Mary asks.
"YES!" roars Ash, "MY NAME IS PALLET TOWN AND I'M FROM KETCHUM!"
"I think you have that a little backwards, Ash," smiles Mary kindly.
"NO!" insists Ash,"This is Ash and I'm Pikachu!"
Sitting in Pallet Town listening to the radio with Heracross, Snorlax, Tauros, Kingler and Muk, Professor Oak releases a sigh.
"Television couldn't kill radio, but maybe Ash will."
"Ash," says Mary, cutting off her microphone for the moment,"Try and forget we're on the radio and imagine we're in a Pokemon Battle."
Instantly Ash forgets about the people at Pallet and starts thinking about himself. Instead of thinking about the terrifying confines of an Interview Room, he instead thinks of the comforting, homely nature of being in a giant stadium surrounded by thousands of people. He explains that he wants to become a Pokemon Master, that he'll take on all challengers and that his immediate goal is to win the Johto League.
Sitting in Pallet Town listening to the radio with Heracross, Snorlax, Tauros, Kingler and Muk, Professor Oak smiles with satisfaction.
And with that, the interview is over.
Breathing a sigh of relief, Ash and Pikachu collapse onto the table, before making their way out to join Misty and Brock.
"I thought you were great," Misty lies, a lie she's probably destined to repeat should they ever marry.
At that moment, a technician comes charging up towards the interview room clutching the tapes that Team Rocket wrecked earlier.
"Oh no," he practically sobs,"Our tapes!"
"I wonder what happened to them?" Ash asks as the techie charges into the control booth.
"Why hello!" smiles a familiar voice, interupting them. Turning, the twerps find themselves facing The Dugtrio Trio!
"Who are you?" they ask.
"Why we're...." starts Jesse.
".... the famous Dugtrio Trio," James informs them.
"And I'm a dummy!" grins Meowth, who actually understands his role now.
Of course, the real dummies have to be Ash and his friends, who make no connection between their nemeses (a guy with blue hair, a girl with red hair and a talking Meowth) and the Dugtrio Trio (a guy with blue hair, a girl with red hair and a talking Meowth).
"You guys were just on DJ Mary's show!" grins Ash,"You were great!"
"Tanks, dimwit," Meowth grins back with an insult that goes unnoticed.
"This Meowth looks so real, I can't tell it's a dummy!" smiles Misty.
'She can't tell I'm real and I'M the dummy?' Meowth thinks to himself.
"We can make all types of Pokemon talk," James explains.
"I know, let's demonstrate on Pikachu!" suggests Jesse.
"Sure," smiles Ash stupidly,"Sounds like fun!"
Before James can get his hands on Pikachu though, Fat-Garish-Producer-Man bursts out of the control booth.
In a panic he explains that they've got nothing to put on, that the air is going to be dead and flat! That people might go outside and live normal lives instead of living vicariously through the radio!
It seems that their Radio Drama for the day has been destroyed by heinous vandals. His only hope, the Radio's only hope, is to enlist the talents of the fabulous Dugtrio Trio!
Exit Jesse and James.
Staring around in fright, Fat-Garish-Producer-Man sees them almost down the corridor and out of sight. He charges ahead of them with surprising speed for someone so large and halts their escape. Shoving them back to where the twerps stand waiting, he begs with them to save the day, pleads with them, tells them he'll do anything.
And Team Rocket, ever the opportunists, demand a couple more lunches.
Eyes gleaming, knowing that they share the same love for food that he does, Fat-Garish-Producer-Man promises them a Five Star Buffet if they'll just help out. He then asks for the twerps to assist as well, saying they'll need all of them to do the radio-drama live.
Ash is nervous to say the least, remembering how much trouble he had with the interview earlier. But Misty and Brock are excited about getting a chance to shine, especially Brock who is certain girls around the world will fall in love with his voice.
They move into the broadcast room where they are all given scripts and their roles are explained to them. Everyone but Ash is excited about their upcoming roles, and an angry Jesse warns him not to screw things up.
Turning wistfully to profile, a back-drop of roses behind her, Jesse explains her love for performance.
"Ahhh, you must remember, the audience expects perfection and that's just what I'll give them!"
"Woah, she's really got a humongous talent...." Brock notes.
"And ego," adds Misty.
Not to mention those huge, straining...... well yes, you get the point.
In any case, it's time for the Radio-Drama to begin. So pay attention Gentle Dodgers, things are going to get weird. They're going to get odd, they're going to be a little dodgy. It's going to be like an Interactive Fan-Fic.
Yes, it's going to be like the Dodgers wrote it!
Prince Goldenrod - Ash
Lady Misty - Misty
Sir Brock - Brock
False Queen - Jesse
False King (and a real Queen!) - James
The Royal Feline - Meowth.
Charizard - James.
Pikachu - Pikachu.
Vile Symbiant - Togepi.
The Pokemon Drama Hour is on the air, today we present the continuing saga of brave Prince Goldenrod. Missing his beloved family after a long, difficult Pokemon Journey, Prince Goldenrod and his companions are at last returning to Goldenrod Castle.
"Though we have seen many strange and wondrous lands on our journey, the place I now wish to see most of all is home," proclaimed Prince Goldenrod.
"I too long for the place of my birth," agreed Prince Goldenrod's first companion, Lady Misty, her vile symbiant sitting confused beside her.
"Soon we shall delight our kinsmen with tales of triumph over the agents of the thieving Gyrados Guild," agreed Prince Goldenrod's young but wise mentor, Sir Brock.
Even the Prince's Pikachu was glad to be going home.
"PI-KACHU!"
Suddenly, the great Charizard upon which they rode let out a mighty roar.
"Arrrrrr!"
The Charizard had sensed the danger that lay before them, a powerful sandstorm lashes them and the Charizard is forced to land. They have arrived at Goldenrod City, but they see only the castle.
Leaping down from his mighty Charizard, Prince Goldenrod was resplendant in his leather boots, tight white tights, blue jerkin and feather cap. His Pikachu - also capped - lept down onto the sand beside him. Sand covered all that the eye could see, only Goldenrod Castle was left unburied.
"Egads!" gasped Prince Goldenrod.
"Pika!" Pika's Pikachu.
"What cruel fate has befallen our fair city?" asked Lady Misty, stepping down beside Prince Goldenrod, wearing thigh high red boots, a VERY short skirt and one oversized shoulder pad.
"Sand as from an hourglass has poured forward, and time may have run out!" proclaimed Sir Brock engimatically, dressed in a blue monks robe to proclaim his chastity and virginal state.
"MOTHER! FATHER!" cried Prince Goldenrod, racing towards the castle. But as the portals open, his fears vanish like sand in the wind.
"Mother, father!" he proclaims happily, "How joyful it is to see thee safe and sound!"
"Ahhh," grins the bearded King, his beard strangely gray whereas his hair is blue,"Our hearts soar like the eagles at the sight of your return."
"Though enrobed in familiar finery," Sir Brock says to Lady Misty as they approach the reunited Royal Family, "Thine countenances are seeming strange."
"Alas our woes are legion," The Queen - her red hair swept regally backwards - explained before bursting into tears,"And have left us much altered!"
"There is something rotten in Goldenrod," Lady Misty whispered into Sir Brock's ear, her vile symbiant agreeing as it sat upon the enlarged shoulder-pad made specifically for it.
"HA HA HA HA HAAAH!" laughed The King, "Come and through these welcoming portals pass...."
"But not before a Pokemon Battle anon!" interupted the Queen, thrusting herself into her sons way.
"HUH!?!" gasped Prince Goldenrod.
From behind her, striking with deadly speed, the Royal Feline struck hard, scratching Prince Goldenrod's fair visage....
"Owww!" yelled Ash, his face scratched and red, then twisted to glare at Jesse, James and Meowth.
"That's not in the script!" he complained, as the 'dummy' Meowth leered at him and disrespectfully pulled the skin beneath his eye down.
"So I improvised a little," grunted Jesse in reply, "I've seen better writing on cereal boxes."
"But we have to stick to the story," hissed Mary.
"Sorry sweetie," grinned Jesse, "But I always through professional broadcasters could deal with any situation."
"Hmmm!" grunted Mary angrily, "The Prince was shocked, but he knew that the Queen feared he was an imposter, and had ordered her Meowth to scratch his face to make sure he wasn't wearing a mask....."
"Ahhh-ahhh-rrrr---ahhhh!" sobbed The Queen, charging up to Prince Goldenrod,"These arms that held you first now long to hold you fast and bindest thou to me forever more!"
So saying, she clutched Prince Goldenrod to her royal bosom, saying,"Oh brightest son, set not your heart against mine own."
"Leave all enmity aside and enter," smiled The King, turning and moving back into the castle with the Royal Feline at his side.
As the Prince and his companion enter the castle, he begins to question his parents.
"Mother, why is my beloved city of Goldenrod covered in sand?" he asks.
"And why did you not send for us?" asks Sir Brock.
"We did not wish to put our heir in harms way," The Queen explains, casting a harsh look at her son and his companions.
"Pray tell," questioned Lady Misty,"What hath caused this plague?"
"Beneath Castle Goldenrod," The King informed them, coming to stand beside a pedestal with a type of clay pot set atop it,"For ages untold, lay the ancient Master Stone."
"Behold sweet Prince," said The Queen, stepping up beside The King as both placed hands on the pot,"This very stone before you."
Lifting the lid of the pot, the green Master Stone shone with an unearthly light, illuminating the deepest recesses of the room.
"But why hast thou done this!?!" cried Prince Goldenrod.
"The Master Stone hath been disturbed, for this hath Goldenrod been interred!" proclaimed Sir Brock in horror.
As the Prince and his friends are entranced by the Master Stone, the Queen presses a secret panel and captures them in her trap. The ground gives way beneath Prince Goldenrod and his boon companions, and all fell into a deep hole from which there could be no escape.
"Son," laughed The Queen, now revealed to be false,"Thou art grounded!"
"IMPOSTERS!" roared Goldenrod in rage, "You are not my parents, you are villains, sent by the dastardly Gyrados Guild!"
"Verily," started The False King, "My....
"WROOOOOOOOOOOONGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!" roared Jesse, cutting James off in mid-line, an inexcusable breach, "With the Master Stone we can now announce to the world - which we will soon be conquering - that we are the all powerful Team Socket!"
"AH!" gasped Fat-Garish-Producer-Man, leaping out of his couch in the control booth,"What is that girl doing? That is not what is written in the script!"
"Soooo," started DJ Mary, doing her professional best to improvise,"The imposters were not in the Gyrados Guild after all, but were an entirely new evil force called....uh.... called uh...."
"Team Socket," Jesse offered helpfully.
"They were an entirely new evil force called Team Socket," Mary finally managed to finish.
"What have you scurrilous knaves done with my parents!?!" demanded Prince Goldenrod, eager for news of what had happened to Samuel and Delia Goldenrod.
"Pika-Pika!" demanded Pikachu in turn.
"Hahaha!" was The False Queens only reply, and she and her fellow imposters turned and left.
"Fare thee well suckers!" laughed Meowth with a derisive wave of one arm.
"You filthy rogues!" hissed Prince Goldenrod,"CHARIZARD!"
"Rrrrr-oooar!" growled the mighty steed of Prince Goldenrod, and smashed through the window at the end of the long corridor. It swept majestically down the corridor, a truly noble beast in and of itself. It flew over the pit as Prince Goldenrod and his companions used their Jedi-Powers to leap high into the air. Lady Misty and Sir Brock landed safely to the side as Prince Goldenrod and his Pikachu came to rest on Charizard's broad back.
"Charizard! Use your flamethrower!" commanded the Prince, and with a mighty bellow the powerful Dragon sent a jet of flame over the cowering figures of the imposters.
One red boot stomped down before them, and the imposters found themselves looking right up Lady Misty's skirt as she demanded answers with her chest thrust mightily forward, asking,"Givest thou up?"
"Friends, what say you?" asked the Prince from atop Charizard.
"They are all well in hand!" called up Sir Brock.
"Make haste, Prince Goldenrod, and rescue your noble parents!" Lady Misty says.
"And so I shall!" brave Prince Goldenrod concluded, flying forward on Charizard. The Prince flew on, and after searching high and low he finds the true King and Queen where Team Socket has hidden them.
"Mother, Father," says Ash, the imagined scene fading back to the control booth to avoid showing who Ash's true parents are,"I've come to free you from this dungeon."
"With their shackles broken," narrated Mary,"The King and Queen urge the Prince to stop Team Socket from escaping."
Then taking on the voice of Prince Goldenrod's mother, Mary continued on,"The Master Stone must be returned said the Queen, or else our Kingdom shall not be restored... NOW GOOOOOOO!"
But it seems the Prince may already be too late, charging out of the castle he comes across Lady Misty and Sir Brock, who stand surveying a giant hole in the sand.
"Where art they?" he demands.
"Those devils were too fleet of foot," admits Sir Brock.
"They swiftly moved and have gone below," explains Lady Misty, staring down into the hole.
"This hollow leads to the haunts of the underworld, I trust," the Prince spoke grimly.....
"Surprise!" laughed a voice, that of the false Queen.
"Huh?" ask Ash, Misty, Brock and Mary back in the control booth, turning to stare at Jesse.
"Despite what the puny Prince believes," mocks Jesse,"The hole is actually an opening to a time-warp that sends all who enter it three thousand years into the future, Ahhhh-HAHAHAHA-haha!"
"Ahhhhh," sighs Mary in shock at the prima-donna antics of Jesse, then notes that the Fat-Garish-Producer-Man is signalling her to run with it. She sighs again and makes the best of a bad situation,"So, not realising that the hole will lead him into a timewarp into the future, the Prince and his companions prepare to jump....."
"Into the breach, Pikachu!" cried Prince Goldenrod, and lept with his faithful rodent into the white glare of the time-portal, followed as always by faithful Lady Misty and resolute Sir Brock.
Into the blinding light they fly, and the earth closes over them, now what wonders await our heroes at the end of a three thousand year journey?
"Anybody?" asks Mary,"Anybody have any ideas?"
Fat-Garish-Producer-Man just slaps his hands together and prays, leaving Mary to run things herself.
"Well, no words could describe the wondrous future world our heroes encounter as they reach their destination.... for it is a world far beyond even our wildest imaginings."
Appearing in a huge Metropolis, transport tubes spreading everywhere like the freeways and motorways of the past, our Heroes arrive in the future.
"Ahhhh-hahahahah!" laughs the evil Meowth, and turning Prince Goldenrod finds himself staring right up at the False King's robes and the False Queen's skirt. Seemingly the gravity equation had been unlocked in the future, as heroes and villains both levitate in mid-air.
"Thou shalt not prevail against us, twerp," warns the False King.
"Return the Master Stone you curs!" Prince Goldenrod demands of them.
"Take us away at once," cried The False Queen to the evil Meowth,"By transforming into the Meowth Rocket!"
"Meowth Rocket?" asked Meowth, understandably confused.
"Did you forget that in the future Team Socket turned you into a Cyborg Pokemon?" Jesse asks him sweetly.
"It's radio," insists James,"Just fake it!"
Incredibly, the Meowth Cyborg transforms from a pint-sized Pokemon to a collosal Poke-Rocket.
"Meowth Rocket Transformation complete!" the robotic voice of the Cyborg Meowth intones. The False King and Queen leap into the seats and prepare to make their getaway. The rockets fire and the giant ship begins to slowly lift-off as the False Queen laughs sadistically, the False King warning them not to follow them this time.
"Come back!" roars Prince Goldenrod, used to his royal word being followed at all times.
"Sorry twerp," laughs The False Queen,"But here's something to cheer... I mean blow, yo up!"
A Meowth Missile fire from the Meowth-Rocket and shoots straight towards the time-lost companions. Exploding, it sends them flying upwards into the air......
"We got ya!" laugh Jesse, James and Meowth together in the studio.
"Hmmm!" grunt Ash, Misty, Brock and Mary together. Luckily for the twerps, Mary has a way out.
"NOT SO FAST!" she cried.
"Huh?" ask Team Rocket, surprised.
Team Socket thought they'd beaten our heroes and gotten safely away, but little did they know that brave Prince Goldenrod was a secret stowaway.
Shocked, the False King and Queen plastered their faces against the bubble dome of their control booth and glared at Prince Goldenrod and his Pikachu clutching onto one of the Meowth-Rocket's tail-fins.
"Uhh!" they cried,"No way!"
Prince Goldenrod, using his royal lungs to breath air in the vacuum of space, called out one of his trust Pokemon to assist him. The lustful, feisty Chikorita!
"Chikorita, use your Razor Leaf!" ordered Prince Goldenrod.
Chikorita's razor-leaf slices off the Meowth Rocket's wire navigator whiskers and, unablet to maintain it's course, the vessel plummets towards Earth.
"But luckily it plummets directly into yet another Time-Warp," growls Jesse,"And the pathetic Prince can only watch as Team Socket disappears.... and reappears right in this very studio!"
"Huh?" gasps the twerps and Mary, turning to stare at what they think is the Dugtrio Trio standing by an open door.
"Now brace yourselves for another surprise," orders James.
"We're here to grab Pikachu!" cries Meowth, leaping high with a glass bottle clasped in his hands,"Coz I ain't no dummy!"
He slams the bottle over Pikachu, a light-bulb set atop it to capture any of Pikachu's electric attacks,"Told ya!"
"I should have known it was you three!" growls Ash, finally connecting the dots.
"Then you should also know you should prepare for trouble!" says Jesse.
"And make it double."
"To protect the world from devastation."
"To unite all peoples within our nation."
"To denounce the evils of truth and love."
"To extend our reach to the stars above."
"Jesse," says Jesse, removing her sunglasses.
"James," adds James, taking off his own.
"Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light."
"Surrender now or prepare to fight."
"Meowth, dat's right!"
Now in their regular uniforms, Team Rocket are ready to run, or sign off as James puts it.
"And taking off!" quips Meowth, and they take off out the door at a run. Ash gives chase with Chikorita on his shoulder and Mary rushes to follow, but not before stopping to catch up the audience on what was going on.
"Team Socket was really Team Rocket," she explains, "And they just stole Pikachu. Pokefans, whatever you do, don't touch that dial!"
Team Rocket charge up spiral stairs leading to the top of the radio tower, Ash and Chikorita in close pursuit. Mary is also chasing, a boom operator behind her allowing her to give running commentary, as she tries to figure out if she should call the characters by their real-life names or their Radio Drama names.
They charge out onto the Radio Tower roof and stare in dismay as Team Rocket sail away on their Giant-Buddha-Face-Meowth-Balloon. Jesse calls out Arbok to use it's Poison Sting, hoping to keep Ash back until they're out of reach. But Chikorita dodges the Poison Stings and hits back with a Razor Leaf, cutting one of the support ropes for the basket carrying Team Rocket, causing them to lose balance.
Pikachu's bottle tips out of James' hands and falls towards the Radio Tower roof. Breaking open, Pikachu spills out and lands in Ash's hands as Team Rocket stare sickly down below, knowing they've screwed it up again and, once again, they're going to pay the price.
Wobbuffet chooses this moment to pop up and salute happily, and then Pikachu is blasting them with a Thundershock that sends them blasting off again.
"As Team Rocket vanished," starts Mary,"The Prince was reunited with his Pikachu....."
And along with their loyal companions, they travelled back in time and returned to Goldenrod Castle. As they looked to the sky, the Master Stone magically reappeared, and as it did, the Kingdom returned to the way it had been before. The way brave Prince Goldenrod had left it when he began his long Pokemon Journey. A peaceful, beautiful place filled with the promise, of tomorrow.
"And that's our story for today."
"Hey, nice job Mary!" smiles the techie beside her,"That's a wrap."
They all collapse to the ground, weary and tired. Everyone is exhausted by the performance, but Fat-Garish-Producer-Man is still hopping and full of life. This has been the best show ever, in fact he almost wishes they could do it every week.
None of that for the twerps though, all jokes aside they've spent too long now in Goldenrod City. They say goodbye to the massive market-town and start their long journey towards Ash's fourth Gym Badge at Ecruteak City.
But what of Team Rocket?
We find the would-be radio super-stars hung out to dry, wrapped around thick tree limbs and staring dejectedly at nothing.
"Excuse me?" asks a theatrically deep voice,"Could you help us please?"
"Huh?" moan Team Rocket.
"Can you tell us the way to Goldenrod City?" asks a garishly dressed man beside a garishly dressed woman. The clothing is familiar, the same type Jesse and James wore earlier on, though not as familiar as the Meowth dummy they carry with them.
"We're going there to be on a radio show," the woman explains.
Team Rocket fall and collapse in a heap at the base of the tree trunk.
"We got lost because they took directions from me," the Meowth-Dummy says,"And I'm just a dummy."
"Waaaaah!" cry James and Meowth, hugging each other,"We could have been such big stars!"
"And I could have been bigger than both of you!" growls Jesse, fist clenched in rage.
"Oooh," moan James and Meowth, dropping to the side as Jesse continues staring angrily outwards. Wobbuffet (who didn't fall with them) hangs upside down beside her, saluting happily.
"Wobbuffet!" it proclaims.
"This experience has just opened my eyes," she sniffs, as Wobbuffet wobb's and wobba's away behind her,"I could have been a big star a long time ago."
The camera pans away over the tree-tops as Jesse does what she does best, complaining away.
"Maybe I should quit Team Rocket and join a Theatre Group!?!" she asks herself, but then thinks better of it.
After all, who wants to work with amatuers?
| BEST QUOTES |
 "People used to say my face was perfect for radio."
 "All you need to do to be a celebrity is act like you already are one Meowth, and sooner or later the public will agree."
 "But we have no talent!"
 "Dat don't stop nobody in showbiz!"
 "MY NAME IS PALLET TOWN AND I'M FROM KETCHUM!"
 "Television couldn't kill radio, but maybe Ash will."
"These arms that held you first now long to hold you fast and bindest thou to me forever more!"
"Did you forget that in the future Team Socket turned you into a Cyborg Pokemon?"
"It's radio, just fake it!"
"He think's that we're performers"
"But we have no talent"
"This Meowth's so real I can't tell it's a dummy"
"She can't tell i'm real and I'm da dummy?"
 "Listeners will be captvated by my voice - especially girls!"
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