151: Fowl Play
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Sure Squirtle is gone but the happily insane Totodile has proved a more than adequate replacement and while the babyish Cyndaquil isn't exactly an ace up the sleeve, it's got it's good points.
Even Chikorita, an entirely pointless second Grass Pokemon, has it's hot Latin lust for Ash to keep the dodginess going, Bulbasaur is still there, as surly as ever and let's not forget the ever so French Pikachu as well.
But what about Ash's sixth Pokemon? For a while we had Heracross and it's bizarre sexual fetishes to enjoy but it moved on just as the annoyingly whining little Lapras once did or the now impressively powered Pidgeot, and Tauros just hasn't got a personality. Kingler can froth at the mouth all it wants but it's too monstrous in it's appearance to stay around for any great length of time, and Muk is too in lust with Professor Oak to ever leave his side.
What we need, Gentle Dodgers, is a new Pokemon to fit in as Ash's 'sixth' Pokemon, one that's dodgy and funny and opens up the path towards some amusing moments.
And we think a midget-sized, garishly coloured Owl Type Pokemon with the power to send people off on bizarre acid trips fits the bill quite nicely.
In any case, we find the twerps making their way through yet another 'dark and spooky' forest which in reality is anything but. As they meander cheerfully along, Pikachu spots something off to the left from it's vantage point atop Ash's head and points it out.
They turn and look, spotting a large birdhouse set up in the branches of a nearby tree, and Misty correctly guesses that this has been set up for Flying Pokemon to roost in. But what type of Flying Pokemon? "It's hard to say for sure just by looking, it may be too big for a small Pidgeotto, and too small for a big Pidgey but.... on the other hand maybe the reverse could be true," mumbles Brock, scratching his chin thoughtfully, proving he hasn't got a freaking clue.
Their questions are conveniently answered seconds later, however, when a large Owl-Type Pokemon lands on the branch beside the birdhouse.
Brock instantly suggests they go hide somewhere, as they don't want to scare it off from it's roost..... that and it suits his voyeuristic tendencies.
"Noctowl, the, Owl, Pokemon," explains Dexter once they've secreted themselves into some bushes, "The evolved form, of, Hoot-Hoot, this highly intelligent, Pokemon, often twists, it's head, 180 degrees, when it is, thinking. Noctowl is, a nocturnal Pokemon."
Again Brock scratches his chin thoughtfully, trying desperately to massage some facial hair out of his smooth chin, "Hey guys, nocturnal means it moves about at night, but here it is out in the afternoon."
"Maybe because this forest is so dark," suggests Misty, as a very attentive Togepi keeps it's beady little eyes fixed firmly on the Noctowl, "The Noctowl thinks it's night-time even though it's day?"
"Yeah, you're probably right," agrees Brock.
And thus, you've just heard the most pointless conversation in Pokemon history.
Up on the tree branch, meanwhile, the Noctowl is twisting and turning it's head thoughtfully until it's shocked by a tree branch which begins poking angrily at it.
"Shoo, scat, vamoose! You're not the Noctowl that I want!" the tree branch growls in a wimpy voice, scaring the Owl-Type into flying away, "Now beat it!"
"Did that Noctowl just get chased away by a tree branch?" asks a confused Ash, still holding up his Pokedex in the hopes that it can explain what just happened.
"That's what it looked like to me," nods Misty.
"Piiii-ka!" throws in Pikachu, for no apparent reason.
As Togepi prepares to weigh in, Brock interrupts them, pointing out that another Noctowl is landing on the branch, but this one is different to the previous. Smaller and coloured red and yellow rather than a dull brown, this particular Noctowl seems to meet with the tree branch's approval.
Disappearing back inside the trunk of the tree, this very peculiar branch re-emerges with berrys caught in it's twigs, which are then offered to the midget Noctowl, extolling it to 'eat up' because they're 'yummy yum yum'
Gentle Dodgers, Pokemon may have reached an all time bizarre high by this point.
But the Noctowl was taught well by it's Mother, it seems, as it refuses to accept berrys from strange tree branches with wimpy voices and instead kicks them away with one claw before soaring into the air and head-butting the tree trunk angrily.
A wrapping of camouflage peels away and with a startled squawk a tall, geeky looking man with glasses and the world's worst cow-lick tumbles free and falls, only just capturing a tree branch in time, dangling hazardously by one hand.
But Noctowl isn't done just yet, swooping down and pecking angrily at the geek's fingers until he releases the branch and falls with a hard smash into the ground.
The twerps instantly rush to his aid, asking the twitching, moaning, broken figure if he is 'okay?'
"Can we help you mister?" asks Misty, which is a huge faux pa on her part. Instantly the man is sitting up angrily, growling at the helpful children.
"Not Mister! the name's DR. Wiseman!"
"We're sorry," apologises Brock, knowing you have to tiptoe about the qualified elite when it comes to names, "But at first you looked like a mister... anyway what were you doing up in that tree, Doctor?"
"HA!" scoffs Wiseman, "I was attempting once again to capture that unusually coloured Noctowl. Once again he has outsmarted me."
"A Noctowl huh?" sparks up Ash, who heard the previous conversation as, 'Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah Noctowl blah.'
"Boy it's sure be great if I could capture a rare Pokemon like that."
Dr. Wiseman scoffs at that idea, telling Ash he shouldn't bother since Noctowl will just outsmart him. They turn to look at the new tree that Noctowl has landed on, where it is twisting and rotating it's head in unnatural ways.
Wiseman explains that it's smaller than the usual Noctowl but it's unusual colouring and high brainpower make it a prized catch, unfortunately for Wiseman this particular Noctowl also seems to enjoy nothing more than thinking up new ways to humiliate him.
But Ash has a brilliant plan, one so devious in it's subtlety that the greatest geniuses of all time would gasp and nod their heads in wonder before settling back and folding their arms across their chests, glowing with satisfaction.
Leaping forward, Ash whips loose a Pokeball and he.... throws it at Noctowl.
....
Genius.
But somehow, someway this cunning plan fails as Noctowl comes up with the only possible counter.
It kicks the Pokeball away.
....
More genius!
The Pokeball comes flying back and smacks Ash hard in the head, knocking the stupid little punk down and sending Pikachu flying off in the distance as Noctowl chuckles with laughter, enraging Ash.
He leaps up and angrily tells it not to laugh, that it's not funny (words he'll repeat to Misty on their honeymoon no doubt). Noctowl's only response is to make it's eyes glow red, sending out a pulse of red circles that pass over Ash.
The thick headed little bastard crack-baby's eyes glow orange for a moment, then he clears and twists about to face Pikachu, which stares up at him with a happy little French smile.
Ash lets loose with an inspirational speech to the freakishly unblinking Pikachu, telling it that they're going to capture that Noctowl, but Pikachu says nothing, does nothing, just stands staring with a smile at Ash.
Now most halfway intelligent forms of lives would at this point surmise that something is wrong, but Ash merely takes Pikachu's silence as some kind of temper tantrum and lowers to his knees, grabbing it by the sides and telling it they have to go, they have to do this, and they have to do it now!
Watching from several feet away with a sweatdrop forming at the back of it's head, Pikachu watches as Ash strokes and whispers words of encouragement to a large rock in the ground, Brock, Misty and Dr Wiseman watching on as well.
A confused Brock asks Dr. Wiseman why Ash is talking to a rock, and the good doctor explains that Noctowl has hypnotised the ridiculously stupid little boy.
Meanwhile Ash has decided that Pikachu isn't going to come along on it's own and decides that he'll just have to carry it, so he wraps his arms around the large rock and begins to heave and heave, until he tears it from the ground and spirals backwards, crashing into the ground with the rock hard against his chest.
"Pikachu," the unbelievably stupid boy moans painfully, "You got heavy."
Sometime later we find the twerps at Wiseman's cabin in the woods, where they share a delightful cup of tea together. A smug Wiseman can't resist telling Ash that he told him so, that Noctowl is pretty clever.
"OH YEAH!" snaps Ash angrily, and proceeds to tell one of the biggest lies in recorded history, "Well I'm pretty clever too you know!" The camera, ashamed at Ash's blatant falsehood, pans away from him so that only Brock, Misty, Togepi and Wiseman are in view, and Misty asks Wiseman to continue telling the story of how he moved to this cabin in the woods and devoted his life to capturing Noctowl.
Given that Misty has just told the entire story, Wiseman can do little but agree with her, explaining that he is only interested in capturing rare and unusual Pokemon, something that interests the power hungry Togepi a great deal, as it stares up at Wiseman with interest.
"I have a rare and unusual Pokemon," Misty speaks up, piquing Wiseman's curiosity as he asks her to show it to him.
Reaching into her bag, Misty removes a Pokeball and pops it's occupant out, and Wiseman finds himself face to face with a confused Psyduck.
"Hmmm, tell me what's so rare and unusual about this Psyduck?" asks Wiseman, confused.
"It can't fly and it doesn't swim a stroke," grins Misty, causing Wiseman to do an admirable take, nearly dropping his tea as she giggles girlishly.
"ARRRRH!" he arrrrhs, "Whenever I hear laughing all I can think of is that Noctowl sitting in that tree laughing at me!" he clenches his fists angrily, "But it won't be laughing very much longer because I'm going to show it how clever I can be!"
"Yeah me too!" yells Ash, standing up and knocking over Pikachu, "I'm not going to let Noctowl laugh at me, I'm gonna figure out a way to catch that Noctowl. And when I finally do, I'm going to be the one who gets the last laugh!"
"Well I sympathise," smirks Wiseman, as Togepi stares with open mouthed, naked amusement at Ash's proclamation, "But with all due respect a Trainer with your limited knowledge is no match for either me or that Noctowl."
You heard it kiddies, limited knowledge, about the most PC way to call Ash a moron there is.
"Maybe I don't know as much as you do, Dr. Wiseman," growls Ash, which is the understatement of all eternity, "But with all due respect you haven't had much luck capturing Noctowl either!"
Wiseman just chuckles at this truth, explaining to Ash that once his trap is complete, that will all be ancient history. He motions to a large, bulky object in the corner, covered by a large sheet to protect it's identity, which of course gets Ash all excited.
"AHHHH! WHAT IS IT!" the little boy gasps with excitement, charging towards it as Wiseman leaps up to block him.
"Oh I can't let you see it yet Ash," Wiseman gasps, "It's a tippity tip top secret!"
.....
Tippity tip top bollocks!
Ash could care less about secrets and demands to be shown the trap, but Wiseman refuses and an indignant Ash gets all petulant as Brock and Misty quietly sip tea at the table behind them. Finally Brock notes that a trap is a bad idea, because even if it works the capturing Pokemon will never respect you, something Misty agrees with, noting that when you capture a Pokemon there should be no hard feelings.
Ash, being stupid at noted many times before, is quite taken by this idea and decides that he's going to capture Noctowl fair and square or not at all.
Wiseman sniffs haughtily at this, telling Ash that it's noble but it isn't going to help him capture Noctowl. This leads to a serious argument between the two as they begin trading veiled insults, all of it watched from the roof through a lifted log by, who else, but our beloved Team Rocket!
"Hear that?" asks Jesse.
"I sure did!" smiles a cross eyed Meowth.
"If they're fighting over that Noctowl it must be very rare and valuable," whispers James.
"Dat means it'll make a fine feddered present for da Big Bossman!" interjects Meowth, speaking of course of Giovanni and not veteran professional wrestler The Big Bossman.
They all share a sinister laugh, Meowth's eyes going over all squinty from having been so cross-eyed for so long.
Later on we find Wiseman in the forest, straddling a branch in a very dodgy manner as he sets something up in the leaves of a tree branch. From a distance, hidden in the bushes, the twerps watch on in great interest, Misty noting that if Noctowl is as intelligent as Wiseman says then there is no way it will fall for his trap.
Ash isn't so sure however, noting that Wiseman - despite the cow-lick (or chillingly, maybe because of it!) - is also pretty damn intelligent himself. Wiseman slides up beside them and tells them that he's sure Noctowl will be here any second now, explaining that the wily little bird can't resist any opportunity to show him up, and sure enough seconds later Noctowl lands on the branch.
With a fierce grin Wiseman pulls hard on a rope, setting off a series of gears which operate a pair of scissors above another rope set up over another branch. This rope breaking pulls free some of the leaves at the end of Noctowl's branch and the rotary-headed bird turns about to peer curiously at what has been revealed.... another Noctowl!
Surprised at the appearance of another midget-sized garishly coloured Pokemon, Noctowl instantly sets it's eyes to glowing and sends out a Hypnosis Ray. The other Noctowl does exactly the same thing, and the hypnotic circles move past Noctowl, hypnotising the little Owl-Type and causing it to go over all wobbly.
Wiseman is ecstatic, explaining to the confused kids that he'd set up a mirror in the leaves, and when Noctowl attempted a Hypnosis Attack it reversed onto itself, leaving it in a wobbly, stuttering, drunken state on top of the branch.
"Noctowl may be a super-intelligent Pokemon," taunts Wiseman arrogantly,"But he's no match for a super-intelligent human!" Hearing this, with the last of it's sanity Noctowl turns and it's eyes glow red before it plummets off of the branch and crashes hard into the ground.
Instantly Wiseman is leaping forward and grabbing the stunned Pokemon as he babbles on about achieving his victory. He hauls up on the little Pokemon, which proves heavier than he'd expected before he pulls it up and holds it at arms length with a huge smile on his face, continuing to babble on happily.
"If Dr. Wiseman is so smart," asks a confused Ash, "Why is he talking to a rock?"
And indeed the so-called super-intelligent human is doing just that, proclaiming his victory over a large rock while off in the distance the real Noctowl staggers off into the distance.
Seeing it, Ash comes over all concerned, saying that it might be hurt and he simply must do his utmost to save it. He rushes forward and calls out for Noctowl, which twists about and glares up at it's would be saviour suspiciously.
Unfortunately for Ash, the equivalent of Noctowl's Hypnosis Attack is a bad acid trip, and right now the tripping Noctowl is on one baaaaad ride, viewing everything and anything as suspicious and quite possibly the devil.
As Ash, Brock and Misty try to figure out a way to bring Noctowl down, a sudden wind whips up out of nowhere, blowing loose branches and twigs and small rocks about as the kids struggle to stand against it.
Behind them, going through a far more enjoyable trip of his own is Dr. Wiseman, who gets brought back to earth with a rude awakening as he's hit on the head with a branch, making him realise he's holding up a rock and not a Noctowl.
Meanwhile the source of the wind has been revealed, as the trees and leaves part to reveal a giant mechanical Noctowl slowly descending by way of massive balloons towards the ground.
"HAHA-HAW-HAHAHAW!!!!!" roars a voice over powerful loudspeakers as the balloons empty and the massive Noctowl smashes into the ground.
"That's not a real Noctowl!" screams Ash angrily, thinking he's the only person not fooled.
"Prepare for trouble, because we're on the prowl!" giggles Jesse through the loudspeaker.
"Make it double, we're in the big owl!" agrees James. "To protect the world from devastation." says Jesse, her and James emerging from the head of the mechanical Noctowl.
"To unite all peoples within our nation."
"To denounce the evils of truth and love."
"To extend our reach to the stars above."
"Jesse."
"James."
"Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light."
"Surrender now or prepare to fight, fight, fight!"
"Meowth, dat's right!" laughs Meowth, rising up with his arms spread wide, Jesse and James sliding up on either side of him, "And we're gonna capture dat colourful Noctowl right after we get back from the next commercial!"
"NO YOU WON'T!" yell the twerps, preventing the ads from playing and greedy sponsors from making kids pester their Mummies for the latest, greatest, plastic fantastic products.
Nintendo will not be pleased.
But Noctowl is understandably impressed by the kids standing up for it despite the crushing pressure to sell advertising time for their creators, even if their rebellion lasts all of 2.5 seconds before the ads continue their insidious incursion into our lives.
"You! You ought to be ashamed of yourselves!" growls Dr. Wiseman sternly when the advertising finishes, "Do you have so little regard for your own Pokemon capturing skills that you had to create this monstrous contraption just to catch one little Noctowl? It's outrageous!"
"For your information," sniffs a snooty James happily, ignoring being called black by a pot, "We didn't create this monstrosity, we bought it.... although a good deal of assembly was required."
"But," smiles Jesse, "The box didn't include instructions on how to be ashamed of anything!"
"Hahahaha!" laugh Jesse and James together as they descend into the control booth of the mechanical Noctowl's head.
"They never play fair," growls Ash.
"WHAT ABOUT THE RULES!" shouts a suddenly offended Brock, "Decent honourable Trainers only use their own Pokemon to catch new ones!"
"Yeah!" snaps Misty, "That's right!"
"PIKA-PIKA!" roars Pikachu.
But if Dr. Wiseman and the twerps are offended, Togepi is only amused, it's head thrown back and it's mouth wide with delight at the appearance of Team Rocket as it laughs, "Togi-Togi-Preeeeeeeeeeee!!!!"
"Dat rule stuff's a load of baloney!" snaps Meowth from his control booth seat,"Rules for decent honourable trainers don't apply ta us!"
"That's exactly right," agrees Jesse,"The only rule that applies to us is to do whatever it takes to get whatever we want."
"But one thing we definitely don't want is to listen to anymore goody-goody lectures from little twerps like you!" yells James, throwing one arm high for some reason.
"And now we're gonna grab dat Noctowl and we don't give a hoot about what you say!" finishes off Meowth.
But Ash isn't going to stand around and let that happen when he's got a French ace up his sleeve. He sends Pikachu flying through the air to deliver a Thundershock Attack, but the electric blast simply bounces off of the giant Noctowl, almost hitting the twerps and Dr. Wiseman as a somewhat more clear-headed Noctowl takes flight.
Pikachu lands on the ground and barely avoids a blast of it's own electricity as Team Rocket howl with laughter.
"Pikachu's attacks ain't gonna shock dis baby!" laughs Meowth.
"Now aren't you glad we bought the optional protective metal body coating that insulates us from electric attacks," asks James with a smile and a foppish salute.
"When we grab that Noctowl the Boss will treat us like winners at last!" sighs Jesse happily, cupping her cheeks with her hands, pulling them away in surprise as Wobuffet makes an appearance, leaping out of it's Pokeball to see what's going on.
"Wobbbb-Buffet!" agrees Wobuffet.
Outside of the Noctowl balloon the interior conversation is broadcast through the loudspeakers for all and sundry to hear.
"Get back in that ball you blue loser," snaps Jesse angrily.
"WOBBBBBBBBBBBB!!!!" wobbbbs Wobuffet and he's pulled back inside.
"There's no way," growls Ash angrily, "They're not going to take Noctowl away!"
He reaches down to his belt and pulls out two Pokeballs, throwing loose Totodile and Cyndaquil before issuing a challenge to Team Rocket.
"All right Team Rocket, try us!"
Cyndaquil nods it's chubby little babys head in agreement as Totodile erupts into a mad dance of insane pleasure. "Oh yeah!" growls Meowth, "Well we got someting dat'll shut you up ya little windbag!"
With the push of a button from Meowth, two hoses snake out of the sides of the mechanical Noctowl's head and begin pumping air back into the balloons that enable it to fly.
"Hang on to your hats twerps," warns James, "It's about to get windy!"
"Blow away!" yells Jesse, and the hoses retract, allowing the balloons to pump air out straight towards the twerps at a massive velocity.
As Cyndaquil and Totodile are blown backwards and the twerps huddle together, Dr. Wiseman sees an opportunity in the crisis. With Noctowl distracted it's capture is assured, and it's even better when the little bird is knocked senseless and he's able to scoop it up and run away, knowing that this time it's no hypnotic, acid-trip inspired hallucination.
Unfortunately for Wiseman, Team Rocket's vantage point in the head of the massive mechanical Noctowl gives them a good view of the surrounding area and they see him escaping. Infuriated at this blatant opportunism and the violation of the rule that thieves shouldn't steal from thieves, they react instantly. With a push of a button a giant claw emerges from the mechanical Noctowl's chest and pulls Wiseman up by his coat, the not-as-bright-as-he-thinks Doctor continuing to pump his legs uselessly and hum happily as he's lifted into the air.
When he realises he's been captured, however, the humming stops and his legs fall limp before, with the flick of a mechanical wrist, he's thrown high into the air, the claw capturing Noctowl and leaving Wiseman to plummet to his doom.
Ash, Misty and Brock are obviously greatly concerned by Noctowl's capture although they show little concern for Wiseman's impending death, while inside the mechanical Noctowl Team Rocket are celebrating.
"Hooray hooray, we got a boid in the hand!" laughs Meowth happily while Jesse clenches her firsts together and shakes them like maracas, while James throws his hands high in the air and waves them all about..... his hands that is, not Jesse's maracas.
Mmmmmmmmmm, Jesse's maracas........
"It's time for us to fly... and say bye bye," James whispers in his best 'oooh-I'm-evil-but-ever-so-alluring' voice.
The mechanical Noctowl's claws rip loose from the soil and, with the giant bird no longer anchored in place the escaping air from the balloons begins to lift them high.
But Ash is having none of it, calling out Bulbasaur and Chikorita to use their Vine-Whips. The vines snake out and wrap around the claws of the giant bird, holding it in place despite the incredible strain. Luckily for them, they only have to hold it long enough for the air in the balloons run out.
"What's dat?" asks a confused Meowth, hearing the rumbling as the bird struggles to soar high.
"Something's holding our bird back!" mumbles James.
Meanwhile Ash is climbing a tree with remarkable speed, popping loose from the upper foliage only 75 feet away from Noctowl, and a quick physics-defying leap later sees him on top of the claw, trying his utmost to pull the claw up off of Noctowl.
"HAHAHAHAHAHA!" laugh Team Rocket, seeing Ash's futile efforts to free Noctowl.
"It's lovely to see you on the losing side for once," chuckles Jesse.
"It must stick in your craw that Noctowl's stuck in our claw!" quips James.
"Try all you like, twerpy," laughs Meowth, "We got dat Noctowl and we ain't letting go!"
But Ash is never one to let something like hardship or reality get in his way and he keeps on trying regardless, his scrawny little muscles pathetically straining to pull the claw up.
"Poor Ash," whispers Misty lightly, then suddenly noticing that Psyduck is out and holding it's head with a look of concentration on it's face.
"What are you doing out?" she asks.
"PSY!" replies Psyduck, "PSYYYYYYY!!!!"
"Psyduck, are you trying to use your Confusion Attack?" asks Misty.
"PSSSYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!" replies Psyduck, clutching it's head and straining, straining, straining as Misty begins to shout encouragement, thinking that this might just work.
"PSYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY-PSY?" groans Psyduck, it's face going red before it rolls over onto it's back with a groan.
"But not today," sighs Misty with a puff of exasperation as Psyduck lies on it's back, even Totodile silenced by the flightless bird's antics.
Meanwhile Ash is still trying his hardest to pull the claw up as Noctowl watches on, telling the little bird that he's going to try his hardest and if he can shift the claw even a little bit, maybe Noctowl can fly away.
And suddenly Ash's word becomes law, the claw shifting slightly and Noctowl swooping free, leading to one of the gayest and funniest freaking things James has ever done.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" he ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh's with a wide open mouth in a high pitched squeal as Noctowl gains it's freedom.
"I can't believe it!" growls a disbelieving Jesse as an angry Meowth seeks vengeance.
"That bratty brat!" the Scratch-Cat growls, hitting a button which sends the claw hurtling forward with Ash still on it. He goes tumbling off, flies past a concerned Noctowl and crashes into the trees, falling hard through them and smashing into the ground, which would have killed him except he landed safely on his thick-skulled head.
As Brock and Misty rush to his aid, Noctowl swoops down and hovers above Ash's Pokemon, going over a plan with them which they quickly agree to. As Chikorita and Bulbasaur continue to hold the mechanical Noctowl in place, Cyndaquil rushes forward and blasts it with a Flamethrower Attack.
"It can attack all it wants," says Jesse, her and the others grinning happily.
"We've got the optional metal body coating that insulates us!"
"HAAA!!!!" haaa's Meowth, "We got da optional cup holders too!"
Cyndaquil keeps on keeping on though, as Noctowl watches on carefully, waiting for the right moment. And then it's time, the metal of the mechanical Noctowl glowing a bright red as Totodile steps up to the plate. It rushes forward and begins blasting the same spot that Cyndaquil has been attacking moments before, super-cooling the super-heated metal.
"They can spray us all they like, we don't care," sniffs a haughty Jesse.
"We ordered the rust-proof undercoating too!" giggles James with the glee of a housewife with a goldcard.
And then something cracks.
"Huh?" asks Jesse as the crackling continues, she turns to glare angrily at Meowth, "What's that, what are you doing eating crackers at a time like this, Meowth?"
"I ain't eating any crackers," sobs Meowth.
"I'm sure I heard something like crackers," mutters Jesse, confused.
"I just adore crackers and caviar!" mugs James gleefully, proving that it's a good thing he's so pretty.
"Hey!" snaps Meowth as the cracking gets louder and more foreboding, "Dat noise is way too loud to be crackers."
"Then what could be making that cracking sound?" asks James.
"UHHHHHH!" cries Meowth as he clicks, "IT'S DA OPTIONAL PROTECTIVE COATING UNDER METAL BODY!!!!!!"
"ARRRRRRRHHHHHHH!" scream Team Rocket together as outside Totodile's Water Gun continues to crack the undercoating.
"Noctowl is a genius!" proclaims Brock (which is an understandable overstatement given that he's been hanging out with Ash for so long),"They're spraying cold water onto the hot metal coating!" "The expanding and contracting is making that thing crack up!" gasps Jesse, giving an impromptu science lesson to teach kids that, hey, school is cool!
"Hey maybe now we have a chance to get Team Rocket," laughs Ash, and runs forward to take credit for Noctowl's plan, "Okay hold it Totodile, your turn Pikachu!"
"Aim a Thunderbolt Attack right where it's cracked!" he orders, and Pikachu does just that, zapping through the cracked undercoating where the electrical current to conducted through the metal body straight up to Team Rocket.
"TEAM ROCKETS BLASTING OFF AGAIN!" cry Jesse, James and Meowth as the Noctowl explodes and they're sent flying off through the air into the distance, their chorus joined by the now familiar, haunting cry of, "WOB-UFF-ETT!"
Back on the ground a pleased as punch Ash is basking in the glow of victory, even if he stole the credit from Noctowl in the first place.
He congratulates his Pokemon on their work but Brock makes sure Noctowl gets it's props, explaining to Ash (who pretends not to know or may have genuinely forgotten) that his Pokemon were operating under the angry little druggies instructions.
Looking up, Ash sees the Noctowl settle onto a branch and flap it's wings at Ash. He doesn't understand what it's all about until Dr. Wiseman returns from the grave, walking up apparently none the worse for wear from his 135 foot fall.
According to Wiseman, Noctowl is challenging Ash to a battle and explains that it wants to give Ash a chance to prove himself. A confused Ash can't understand it and asks if it's all right, since he knows that Wiseman wants it for himself.
But apparently the fall did something to Wiseman's head, as the man who moved out into the deep forest and devoted his life to capturing this one particular Noctowl explains to Ash that he's had his chance and now it's Ash's turn.
Ignoring the obvious concussion Wiseman is suffering from, Ash accepts the challenge and sends out Pikachu to hit Noctowl with a Thunderbolt Attack.
But Noctowl is ready for it, blasting Pikachu with a wave of Hypnosis which sends the cute little Pikachu on a crazy acid trip, it's eyes dilating as it dances crazily about, wiggling it's hips and moaning 'Chuuuuu, chuuuuuu, chuuuuuuuuuu,' as it lets loose with electrical attacks that eventually hit it, clearing it's head and bringing it down from it's embarrassing reverie as Noctowl chuckles with laughter.
Noctowl swoops and chases Pikachu as it flees in terror, knowing only too well what Owls like to do with mice. In it's fear it backs itself against a tree and looks up at the approaching Pokemon.
Ash warns Pikachu not to look into Noctowl's eyes but rather to listen for the sound of it's wings. Pikachu lowers it's head and lifts it's ears as Noctowl glides through the air, flapping it's wings every so often to keep it airborne. And it's one of these flaps of it's wings that give Pikachu the opportunity to blast with it's Thundershock, connecting firmly with Noctowl and knocking it to the ground where it lies in a daze.
Ash acts instantly, throwing his Pokeball, which sucks Noctowl in before it lies rocking on the ground, glowing and rocking as they watch on, waiting to see what will happen.
And Noctowl is captured!
An ecstatic Ash lifts the Pokeball high and congratulates himself on his victory as Misty, Brock and Dr. Wiseman congratulate him, Pikachu leaping high in the air with a, "Pi-Pikachu!"
Later that day, as the sunsets behind the mountains, Ash, Brock and Misty head off with Noctowl now adorning the belt around Ash's waist, waving goodbye to Dr. Wiseman who stands in his stupid turtleneck waving goodbye with a smile, watching as they head off towards Goldenrod City and The Johto League and a long life ahead of them.... something Dr. Wiseman won't be sharing given that his concussion will kill him before the night is through.
Still, what's one less geek in the world when you've got an acid-tripping, highly intelligent, midget-sized, garishly coloured Pokemon to call your own.
We think there's something we can all learn from that.
| BEST QUOTES |
 "Pikachu - you got heavy!"
 "Isn't there some rule about thieves not stealing from other thieves or something?"
"I just adore crackers and cavier!"
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