150: Love, Totodile Style
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But with Totodile injecting some delicious insanity to the mix, things are just as good, if not better than ever, and this episode - Totodile's first appearance since it's remarkable debut could well have been a huge letdown - just proves that it's madness and sexual degeneracy are a formula for success.
As Britain's Conservative Party can well attest.
In any case, we find the twerps at the edge of a forest setting, standing next to a calm river. Since they're not in any hurry to, we don't know, go to some kind of 'Johto League' or anything, they decide to stop and settle down for the day.
Brock offers to throw a little meat Misty's way and Ash eagerly asks for the same treatment, although we should stress that the meat in question is beef stew, and that the beef in question is more likely to be some kind of soup vilely covered up by the translation.
Although it is funnier if we just pretend it means the other thing, isn't it.
Misty pulls out her Pokeballs and releases Goldeen, Staryu and Poliwhirl into the water with happy cries of, "Gol-deen," or, "Poli-whirl," or, most astutely of all, "Heyah-YAH!"
Psyduck also leaps out and finds itself splashing about in the water, struggling not to drown as - being one of the thicker Pokemon about - it can't actually swim. Misty pulls it out of the water with a sigh reserved for Mothers with incredibly stupid children (a sigh that Delia Ketchum knows only too well).
As the Water Pokemon swim about happily, Ash's brain actually makes a connection in record time and he remembers he has a Totodile which might like to take a swim as well. Taking out his Pokeball, he calls out the insane little Pokemon, which kicks it's leg with manic joy before splashing into the water and swimming about with a look of intense pleasure on it's face, as if it were peeing in the water or something.
Oh like you've never done it!
The twerps stand watching The Water Pokemon swim about, Misty noting how happy they all look. Brock then fulfils his PETA legal obligations by explaining to the children at home that Pokemon need to relax and have a good time just like their trainers.
This Public Service Announcement over, we return to the happy little Gator, which has spotted some Magikarp splashing about in the distance, much to it's delight.
Manipulating them with it's Water Gun, it circles and spirals them about as the impressed twerps watch on, Togepi throwing back it's head and roaring with silent laughter.
Nobody is as excited as Totodile, though, which is loving the fun and fancy-free lifestyle of a life-long bachelor.
Until love rears it's monstrous, ichor dripping visage. As the other Water Pokemon sit happily in the water while the twerps sit about a massive, foldable table and chairs which Brock has whipped out of his backpack, Totodile floats contentedly on it's back, lightly drumming it's belly and singing, "To-to, TO!"
But then a new tune reaches it's ears and it turns and climbs over a small rock, spotting another Pokemon sitting happily by the edge of the river, enjoying the tranquillity.
"Azuma-ril, azuma-ril," sings Azumarill quietly, happily. The evolved form of the wimpy Marrill, Azumarill is larger and a little cuter, with a white bubble pattern on it's chest and belly, "A-zuma, zuma, zuma-ril!"
Totodile's eyes bug out with massive hearts and it zooms down on it's stubby little legs, skidding to a stop in front of a surprised looking Azumarill.
"Toto-toto-toto-toto!" it giggles insanely, before pressing it's forehead into Azumarill's belly and nuzzling happily.
"AZUMARILL!" gasps Azumarill in shock before the happily insane little Pokemon jumps back and creates the image of a heart with it's Water Gun attack.
Azumarill is clearly not impressed by this talented display, however, and blasts Totodile over with a Water Gun attack. It admonishes the love struck little Pokemon angrily then turns and rushes off.
Totodile, never one to let a little thing like rejection get to it, zooms off after Azumarill with that same manic happiness.
Meanwhile back on the other side of the rock Brock's famous beef stew is almost ready. He stirs the mixture, blows on it, samples it, smiles and proclaims that it his best ever, almost as good as the stuff you get in a can!
A rustling disturbs him and he looks up in time to see a Golduck of all things emerge, looking about for something, muttering angrily to itself.
Ash and Misty also spot the Water Pokemon and the young girl sees an opportunity to finally capture what is, to her at least, the Holy Grail of Water Pokemon. For some reason, however, she doesn't pull out her Lure Ball but just a regular ol' Pokeball, and she also makes no attempt to throw it before Brock tells her to hold of for the moment while they wait to see what the Golduck is up to.
Golduck looks about along the ground and throughout the bushes while Brock suggests that it's looking for something and Misty hopefully notes that it might be looking to get captured by a Trainer like her.
Those hopes are dashed quickly though when a feminine voice calls out to Golduck and a tall, willowy trainer approaches it. Obviously she is Golduck's Trainer but, more importantly, she's pretty hot and Brock instantly goes for the score.
"Pardon me, Miss," he says to the girl with a Pidgey on her shoulder, "Perhaps I could be of service to you?"
She and Golduck turn to look in surprise as Brock, who holds his hand to his chest as he introduces himself,"The names Brock and here's how you spell it. It's B like in Big, Brave Blastoise, R like in Rational Raichu, O like in Oddish, C like in Charizard and finally K as in confounding Kadabra!"
This is accompanied by a series of Power Ranger like gestures as Brock runs the gamut of emotions, from brave to rational to shy to courageous to just plain weird.
"Want to know my last name?" he asks her with a sly grin, getting ready to reveal a big Pokemon secret.
"Nooot, really," mumbles the rather scared, scarily tall girl.
"Now that you know my name, what's yours?" asks Brock.
"Well..." stammers the girl, "Everybody calls me Trixie."
Uh? Everybody 'calls' her Trixie? So what's her real name then? Ugmo McUgly or something?
It should also be noted that the scarily tall Trixie - when seen from side on - has extremely pointy breasts that are sitting waaaay too high on her chest and pointing up towards the sun.
Make of that, what you will.
"TRIXIE!" proclaims Brock however, not caring that she hasn't told him her real name, he clutches his hands together beneath his chin and goes over all theatrical as a slightly shocked Golduck and confused Trixie looks on, "OH what a simply magical name!"
He begins to flap his wings, "My heart soars like a Spearow! Just the sound of that sweet name makes me feel like there's a flock of fluttering Butterfree in my stomach!"
He grabs her by her hands, "Perhaps we could get together and discuss the origins of that name of yours sometime!?!"
He then thrusts his face forward, mouth wide open and going directly for her freakishly firm boobies, one leg lifting high in preparation for a 'kiss' that would see Pokemon banned from t.v for life.
"Anytime," he whispers, going in for the kill.
"I.... don't know," whispers Trixie in fear, before Misty saves the day, reaching over and grabbing Brock by the ear, pulling him back angrily.
"Okay, that's it, show's over, Casanova," she growls, pulling him away as Ash does the obligatory 'I'm embarrassed and confused and I don't really understand what the hell is going on,' laugh before introducing himself to Trixie.
He apologises to Trixie, telling her that Brock can get a little goofy around pretty girls like her - WOAH! Was that a line, Ash!?! - and then asks if she's lost something as Pikachu sits on Ash's head, staring at Trixie's face with delight for some obscure, French reason.
And indeed she has lost something, she's looking for her little lost Azumarill and... why there it is now!
The horrified Azumarill comes waddling through the bushes, scampers between Ash and Trixie and hugs the freakishly tall girl's legs with a whimper.
Noting it's fear and discomfort, Ash does the considerate thing and whips out his Dexter to get a reading on the new Water Pokemon.
"Azumarill, the Aqua-Rabbit Pokemon, the evolved, form of Marrill, this Pokemon, uses it's large, highly developed ears, to hear great distances, even, under water."
And those are pretty highly developed ears after all, like big ol' rabbit ears, and they detect the sound of some rustling in the bushes nearby.
Immediately Totodile bursts free from the bushes, looking about wildly until it spots Azumarill. It charges forward happily and trips up, crashing to the ground and lying still as death, causing Ash to fear for it's life and rush forward to check it's status, interfering with Totodile's plan to get a sympathy lay out of Azumarill.
So Totodile improvises, leaping up and fixing it's wide-eyed, manic gaze on Azumarill before it starts blowing kisses at the fat little Aqua Rabbit.
Azumarill looks away angrily, then quickly darts a glance at Golduck before looking away shyly, blushing furiously.
Ooooooh, so it's like that, is it!
Sometime later, we find the twerps at a little town nearby the river, a big circus tent set up.
Inside Ash is trying to wrap his head around the massive intellectual concept of a.... a.... a Pokemon Cer-ces? Cer-cus? Circus?
As he racks his brain for understanding, Trixie explains that as a kid she loved the circus and she loved Pokemon, so she trained her Pokemon to perform tricks that suited their special abilities and took the act on the road.
Only now she has a problem, the star of her show - Azumarill - has begun acting temperamental, disappearing, throwing tantrums, acting weirdly.
And no, she's not on the blob.
Apparently this odd behaviour began shortly after Golduck arrived at the Circus, in fact at this moment she's actually hamming it up some more, lying on a beach-chair, wearing sunglasses and sipping what could just be plain orange juice or maybe a little something stronger.
Speaking of odd behaviour, Brock comes rushing by wearing a headband that makes Tracey's look dignified, carrying around a large lighting pole.
He explains to Trixie that he plans to make her circus perfect, then drops into a sinister whisper, "As perfect as you, Trixie!"
As Trixie appropriately sweats at her confrontation with the obsessed Breeder (snicker) Totodile shows everybody up with a little odd behaviour of it's own, carrying a small inflatable pool onto the stage which it promptly fills with water.
Ash asks Totodile what it's doing up there on the stage and Trixie figures that it might be trying to help out as well. Totodile nods happily, much to Trixie, Ash and Misty's delight, then charges off the stage and returns carrying a shocked Azumarill, dumping her into the water and grasping the side of the pool, staring at her with love struck, insane eyes.
Azumarill blasts Totodile with another Water Gun attack as she recovers her dignity, but Totodile only seems to enjoy the humiliation all the more, until she waddles off with an angry, "Azumarill!" and a confused Totodile tries to figure out why she isn't falling for it's charms.
Ash is as confused as ever, trying to figure out why Totodile could possibly be acting so strangely, but Misty knows, oh she knows all right.
"Maybe you'll understand these things when you're a little older and more mature," she suggests to her thick-headed love interest with a knowing glance in his direction.
"Oh yeah," grunts Ash angrily, his reaction to everything that confuses him.
He's angry quite a lot.
"AZUMARILL'S PLAYING HARD TO GET!" Brock screams happily, appearing in the foreground as a shocked Ash and Misty watch on, "DON'T YOU GIVE UP ON HER TOTODILE!"
"On second thoughts, maybe not," giggles Misty.
"Hmmm?" asks Ash, not getting it as always.
Later we find the circus ready to perform, gates opened to invite in the marks.... uh, we mean valued customers.... to watch the show.
The main show is Trixie, whom the MC invites the audience to feast their eyes on. She's dressed in typical ringmaster attire, although it fits to her body much nicer than it would on a skinny middle aged man with a funny curled moustache.
She invites everyone to get a load of her Marrill which she pushes into her hat, tapping it a couple of time. Immediately several Pidgey fly out and zoom about the audience before returning to Trixie's hat. She places it back on her head and when she removes it, there's nothing there, until Marrill appears a few moments later, apparently from the back of her neck.
How's that for magic!
"Hey how did she do that!?!" gasps Ash in excitement, Totodile sitting on his lap with a huge grin on it's face, presenting one incredibly DODGY looking image.
"Trixie is really amazing," notes Misty.
"She sure is," gushes Brock happily, "And her magic act's not that bad either!"
"And now," cries the MC as the curtains pull closed, "The moment you've all been waiting for, get ready for the amazing Azumarill Splashtacular Water Extravaganza!"
The curtains part to reveal Azumarill standing on a podium, from which it quickly begins a water juggling act, using it's Water Gun to hold aloft numerous coloured balls, balancing and juggling them around in different formations. A heart, a whirlpool, a star etc while the crowd goes crazy (apparently they don't get much entertainment out there in the sticks) and Totodile's mouth gapes open wider and wider, until finally it leaps from Ash's lap and rushes up on stage, stopping beside Azumarill's podium and firing it's own Water Gun up into the air, dislodging some of Azumarill's balls (GETCHA MINDS OUTTA DA GUTTA!) which it in turn juggles about.
The crowd think it's the cutest damn thing ever, although Ash just looks embarrassed while Misty and Brock are shocked. Some audience members toss some streamers and fruits at Totodile, which captures and juggles them with amazing talent, proving that Azumarill isn't the only show in town.
And the showboating, fat little Aqua-Rabbit does NOT like the competition. At first it tries to show up it's stalker but Totodile's lunacy lends it strength and it easily matches Azumarill trick for trick, until the little primadonna cuts off it's Water Gun, let's it balls drop (WE'RE WARNING YOU FOR THE LAST TIME!) and takes off.
Ash leaps on stage and tries to grab Totodile, but the lovestruck Pokemon takes off after Azumarill, leaving Ash holding a banana in his hand with a confused look on his face.
The rest of the fruit begins to fall and Ash manages to catch it all, Pikachu getting the last apple as the crowd jumps to it's feet and lets roar with applause.
So Ash has unwittingly saved the show, but now the star has pulled a Stephen Fry and Totodile's gone after it.
But the show's status is unimportant to Brock, who sees a chance for love here. Maybe he can't ever get the girl, but with his help, Totodile will!
He leaps high and proclaims to the absent lunatic that he will help it to become as successful in love as he himself is.
"You?" asks Misty, confused.
As Brock plays Cyrano DeBergerac, Misty plays the voice of reason and Ash and Pikachu save the show, the camera pulls back and reveals another trio watching from the shadows.
Our beloved Team Rocket!
"Pretty impressive!" acknowledges Jesse, closing the curtain and twisting about to face the camera.
"They put on quite a show," agrees James.
"Yeah well I don't care how good it is," snaps Meowth angrily, "I don't want dat Totodile using my tail as a chew toy again!"
"We don't need to take the Totodile," James placates Meowth, "If we just steal Pikachu and Azumarill we can still start our own travelling circus!"
"And we'll be rich in no time," giggles Jesse, whose hair has some pretty severe split ends today.
"Hehe-he-hehe!" Team Rocket giggle between clenched teeth, Meowth and James going over all cross eyed.
"All right, let's get ready for Operation: Circus Swipe!" commands Jesse, breaking out of her own cross eyed grin while James and Meowth hold theirs.
"Aye aye, sir!" James and Meowth acknowledge their leader with a salute.
While Team Rocket make their preparations, the show has finished and Golduck and others are packing everything up. Ash stands before the freakishly tall Trixie, who appears to have adjusted her bra somewhat and dropped her breasts to a more acceptable level on her chest.
Trixie waves off Ash's apology, telling him that the show was far from ruined, in fact the crowd really seemed to love it. The only downside she can see is that Azumarill took off, and it really needs to learn to share the spotlight.
Misty arrives on the scene with a disturbingly happy Totodile, the freakish Egg Leech Type Thingy resplendent with squinted eyes and a wide open mouth for no apparent reason. Misty is concerned that she hasn't seen Brock or Totodile about anywhere, but for whatever reason Ash and Trixie seem less concerned.
Outside, we find Brock and yes, he is with Totodile after all. The unlucky in love Breeder is playing an unlikely mentor to Totodile, explaining the noble art of seduction.
"Now listen up," he explains, "Love is War, and if you want to win a war you'll have to use ammunition!"
He holds up a small jar with a water drop pictured on the label; and a pink ribbon around the top, "I bet Azumarill will love a jar of my home-made Pokemon treats! Give her this and I bet she'll call a truce.... or even an unconditional surrender!"
Totodile happily takes the jar from Brock, although whether it's insane, lust craved mind can actually comprehend any of what Brock is telling it is uncertain.
It rushes happily over to where Azumarill is sulking, sitting by a tree by the riverside and offers it some of the treats. "Be fearless! Courage leads to victory!" whispers Brock fiercely, watching from the bushes like a peeping tom.
But Azumarill doesn't want any part of Totodile or it's treats and turns it's head away angrily, but Totodile isn't one to give up in the face of rejection, reasoned argument or even sanity and it continues to thrust it's goodies into Azumarill's face (WE ARE WARNING YOU FOR THE LAST TIME!) until the angry, sulky Aqua-Rabbit takes off. Totodile stares after it in confusion, then zooms away after it, happily offering it more of it's treats.
"This could be a long war," mumbles Brock from his voyeuristic position.
As Azumarill runs it doesn't pay attention to what's going on in front of it, however, and suddenly a net bursts forth and wraps around it's fat little body, dragging it along the ground as a shocked Totodile stops short, then gives chase.
"AZUMARILL! TOTODILE!" roars Brock, and Ash and Misty appear beside him, explaining how they came when they heard him yelling.... 1.2 seconds earlier.
He points out the bizarre twist of events, and Ash and Misty are shocked to see Totodile chasing the captured Azumarill. It leaps as high as it's stubby little legs can lift it and crashes into the ground just short of Azumarill, which is pulled into the bushes before sinister laughter emerges from the darkness.
"Prepare for trouble, and that's not a joke!" calls out Jesse.
"Make it double, we just caught a Poke!" adds James dodgily.
"To protect the world from devastation."
"To unite all peoples within our nation."
"To denounce the evils of truth and love."
"To extend our reach to the stars above."
"Jesse."
"James."
"Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light," cries Jesse as she floats across the backdrop of stars and a giant R, and more importantly appears to not be wearing a shirt underneath her Team Rocket jacket.
"Surrender now we're in the spotlight!" coos James as he floats across the other side of the stars, before Meowth pops up in the middle.
"Meowth, dat's right!"
"TEAM ROCKET!" cry the twerps, in case nobody quite got the gist of this whole motto thing.
Jesse then takes advantage of Ash's remarkable stupidity by goading him into an electric attack from Pikachu while James and Meowth waggle their tongues about. As the chubby little French Rodent leaps high Meowth whips out a bazooka and blasts loose a ball on a rope, which splits open to wrap around Pikachu, capturing it in a cage. A shocked Pikachu (oh Lord we didn't even intend to PUN-ish you like that, gentle Dodgers) tries to blast it's way free but the material of the cage absorbs the energy.
With a laugh Team Rocket begin to float away in their Happy Buddha Face Meowth Balloon as Pikachu is hauled up into the basket and Azumarill is left dangling. James calls out the abomination that is Weezing to shield their escape with a Smoke-Screen, and as the twerps hack and cough, Totodile slides out from under it and gives chase as the balloon floats away, the ribbon on Azumarill's tail falling off for no good reason, dropping to the ground in front of Totodile.
Totodile lifts the ribbon, glares at it, then looks up at the disappearing balloon before throwing back it's head as the camera pulls away, screaming in best William Shatner fashion.
"TOOOOOOOOOOOOO- TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"
Then it leaps into the water and swims across the river after the retreating balloon, zooming with lunatic speed along the river as Brock skids to the riverbank and lets loose with a mini-Bill Shatner of his own, "Totooooodiiiiiiiiiiiiiile!"
The twerps return to Trixie and explain that Azumarill has been Poke-napped by Team Rocket, and Brock takes the blame, telling he it was all his fault.
"Stop the slobbering!" snaps Misty angrily, a little of her old personality shining through the hypnotic fugue imposed on her by Togepi, telling them that Team Rocket have obviously headed for the forest on the other side of the river and they should get over there as fast as they can.
Everyone nods, then Ash goes over all leader-ish and grimly tells the camera that if they don't act fast, they may never see Azumarill and Pikachu again.
Yeah, right Ash, and maybe you'll fail to win a badge at the next gym and just head home to Pallet Town.
Meanwhile, across the other side of the river in a small cabin that they've appropriated, Team Rocket are trying to get a free show out of a grumpy Azumarill.
Jesse pleads with it to give them one of it's show stoppers, but as James notes, the show has all ready stopped.
"At least do a bunny hop or summit!" mumbles Meowth.
"ZU!" sniffs Azumarill, turning away.
"Well maybe this little Prima-Donna needs to be whipped into shape," grunts Jesse angrily, pulling out a whip she keeps for just such an occasion. She whips the ground just in front of Azumarill (because for all their claims of being bad guys, Team Rocket are not sadists) but the fat little Aqua Rabbit knows she wouldn't actually attack it, so it ignores her.
"Don't be so barbaric, Jesse!" gasps a shocked James, who can't believe the red-head could ever try to force a fellow Rr-teeeest to perform. He then holds up some brightly coloured balls and grins at Azumarill,"Ignore her Azumarill! We want you to be happy, and we know that performing makes you very happy so how about a little happiness!?!"
He tosses a green ball her way but Azumarill simply slaps it back with her tail, sending it thumping into James' pretty face and leaving a big red mark. Azumarill then turns around and blasts Jesse's face and hair with it's Water Gun Attack.
Jesse and James fume angrily and tower menacingly over the fat little prima-donna.
"I'm not going to let this Aqua Rabbit mess with my hair," Jesse growls.
"And I'm not going to let it mess with my mind!" hisses James.
But Meowth slides in front of the petulant Azumarill with it's arms held wide, warning Jesse and James, "If you mess with dis Azumarill we won't have a show and we won't have money!"
"WOBBBBBBBBBBBB-UH!" agrees Wobuffet from out of nowhere, sliding in front of Meowth with it's stumpy little arms held wide.
Jesse and James growl and menace, but finally they agree and step back, Jesse calling Wobuffet back into it's Pokeball while Azumarill turns around and lets loose with another petulant, "Zu!"
But do not fear, little brat, for your lunatic hero is making it's way to the rescue, brave little Totodile bounding along with a happy grin on it's face, stopping short as it notices the tip of the Happy Buddha Face Meowth Balloon over some trees in the distance.
Back at the cabin, Azumarill is being treated to a delicious looking meal courtesy of Team Rocket, who have set up a table outside the cabin. Pikachu is still in it's ball-cage against the wall.
"I still don't see why we have to suck up to this circus freak," grumbles Jesse.
"You heard Meowth, Jess," whispers James,"We have to treat Azumarill like a star."
"Well, it's all for you star," offers Meowth happily, but still Azumarill turns it's nose up, causing the gracious scratch cat to gasp, "AHH!"
And Jesse has had enough, she rears up angrily, shouting at Azumarill that they've tried being nasty and they've tried being nice.
"And if it's all the same to you we prefer sticking with nasty!" growls James.
"Zu!" mumbles Azumarill.
"AHHHH!" roars Jesse,"I've had it with you!"
"You leave us no choice, we're forced to use force!" warns James.
As they rear up for attack, however, a blast of water smashes into their necks from behind. They smash into a table which crashes over on top of them, leaving them lying beneath the wood with food all over their clothes, hair and necks. They lift up and glare in disbelief as Totodile triumphantly emerges with a "Toto-toto!"
It charges forward with lunatic bravura but Meowth just happens to have a self tightening circular ring on him (as you do) and tosses it at Totodile, wrapping it around the happily insane little Pokemon and muzzling it. With a quick throw of a rope, Totodile is captured and Meowth reckons they have enough Pokemon for a 'tree ring circus'
"I guess today must be our lucky day," laugh Jesse and James together.
Meanwhile the twerps are searching as well, joined by Trixie and Golduck. Given that their Pokemon were captured by Team Rocket and that they need to keep the element of surprise, the twerps are wisely calling out very loudly for Azumarill or Pikachu (and no mention of Totodile is made) and when that doesn't work, Trixie suggests they start searching again the next day because it's getting dark.
These are supposed to be the good guys, remember.
Having abandoned their Pokemon, however, we find that Team Rocket are - for all their Rr-teeestic talents - not too bright and they've settled down for the night rather than escape with their stolen Pokemon.
"Please give my compliments to the chef," moans Jesse happily, wrapped up snugly in her sleeping bag and dreaming contentedly, a dream apparently shared by Meowth and James.
"I'll have anudder bowl of milk," grins Meowth, "And don't be stingy wit da cream."
"This steak is too well done," sighs James, "Take it back and make it rare."
They're sooooo cute!
Not so cute though is Azumarill, which sits in it's cage staring sadly out the window at the moon, Pikachu and Totodile watching it from their cages on either side.
Azumarill starts crying like the little punk it is until Totodile presents Azumarill's pink bow to it on the end of it's tail. The fat little prima-donna takes it and wipes away it's tears before Totodile begins to dance for it, it's mouth still muzzled shut but it's insane dance no less heart warming.
Azumarill starts to giggle as Totodile happily dances, and Pikachu's French heritage can't help but find something funny in the sight of a caged, muzzled, insane baby alligator dancing frenetically for a spoiled, fat Aqua-Rabbit.
But then again, wouldn't you.
The next day finds the 'good guys' ready to resume their half assed search for their Pokemon. Trixie has come up with the rather good idea of using her Pidgey to search the air for the missing Pokemon, something that might have come in handy say, oh we don't know, yesterday!
It flies up into the air and looks about before flapping away, while Ash wishes that he still had Charizard, just like every other person on the planet.
Back at the cabin, James' stomach is grumbling and he's wishing that he'd eaten that food after all.
"That'll teach us to try and be nice on an empty stomach," growls Jesse as they load Azumarill into the basket along with Totodile and Pikachu.
Pikachu pika's and pi's and pika pi's but it does little to help them escape, and Meowth tells it to shut up. Then the trio discuss the collapse of their circus idea, coming to the conclusion that even if that fell through The Boss will still be pleased to get three rare Pokemon from them.
They lift off, sailing into the air and right into Pidgey's sight. Unfortunately for the basically useless Pidgey, the Happy Buddha Face Meowth Balloon is so big that the twerps can see it as well, so Pidgey's purpose is basically to.... be there.
Still, it comes in handy in one respect, as Trixie tells it that it knows what to do, which is apparently gross physical vandalism. The little bird swoops down and punctures a hole into the balloon, sending it crashing into the ground where Totodile and Pikachu's cages roll out into Brock and Ash's arms.
Azumarill is still captured, however, and Team Rocket do not plan on giving it up without a fight. As they note, the twerps should be happy with 2 out of 3, after all they've only got one and they're not complaining.
With Pikachu and Totodile still caged and muzzled, Trixie sends Golduck into the rescue, the tall Pokemon marching forward angrily as James calls out Weezing and Jesse calls out Arbok.
Golduck makes quick work of them, however, blasting them backwards with a Water Gun Attack as Ash calls out Bulbasaur, which rips open Pikachu and Totodile's cage, as well as Totodile's muzzle.
That's a mighty powerful Razor Leaf!
Totodile then uses three quickly choreographed Water Gun Attacks to knock over Jesse, James and Meowth while Bulbasaur uses it's Vine Whip to pull Azumarill over to the twerps and Pikachu Thundershocks the remarkably quickly defeated Team Rocket, and before you know it Team Rocket are blasting off again.
And not a cry of Wobuffet to be heard.
With Team Rocket quickly wiped out, Bulbasaur cuts Azumarill free with another enormously powerful Razor Leaf, leaving the fat Aqua Rabbit free to run to it's saviour.
With tears of joy in it's eyes it charges forward, while Totodile looks on with wide eyed joy. "You've won the war of love, now go claim your victory," Brock whispers into the insanely happy Pokemon's ear.
With a manic laugh Totodile charges forward towards Azumarill, tears streaming from her eyes, a manic glint in his. Rose coloured, love focused backgrounds surrounded by hazy blurs cover them as they grow closer and closer and closer and.... Azumarill charges right by Totodile and embraces Golduck happily.
Totodile skids to a stop, eyes wide with shock as it turns to see Azumarill give it's love to the Pokemon that didn't do anything much but happens to be tall and good looking.
"I don't get it," mutters Ash, which is no surprise, "Why are those two hugging each other?"
"Azumarill really likes Golduck," whispers Misty happily, finding the concept of going for the good looking guy over the guy who saved your ass romantic, "Not poor Totodile."
"Huh?" says Ash predictably as Brock moans in sympathy for Totodile.
Trixie seems pleased enough, as now she has a reason for why Azumarill has been acting so weird recently, but Totodile is still in a state of shock.
"You can't expect to win every single battle," Brock manfully tells Totodile, clapping it on the back as it turns it's wide eyed shock on him, "But love's worth fighting for, and if you're brave and courageous and never stop fighting you can come out a winner!"
Brave words indeed, the catch cry of virgins everywhere.
Once all the hugging and smooching and turning the hoses on the crazy critters is done with, the twerps assemble outside of the circus to say goodbye to Trixie.
Azumarill and Golduck are there too, ready to wave goodbye before getting back to the kissing and canoodling.
Brock may have failed to get Totodile a girlfriend but he still has high hopes for himself, rushing forward to grab Trixie by the hands and tell her that their time together has come to an end, but he'll be at her side should she call, even if she calls collect!
"Hang it up, Brock," growls Misty, pulling him away by the ear as Togepi roars with laughter. Ash too says goodbye and prepares to go, but notes that Totodile is still standing forlornly by the riverbank, staring out into the distance.
Sigh, so Totodile is doing one of those sad ass introspective moments, is he? Not at all! He's spotted a cute little Quagsire and is full of high hopes for love. Rushing down to it's side, he dances with manic intensity as the Quagsire looks on in surprise.
Misty and Brock join Ash as he moans that Totodile has a new girlfriend, which really doesn't suit him since he wants to get going.
As Quagsire turns it's back on the dancing Totodile and heads away, the stubbornly love-struck Pokemon charges after her, Ash giving chase with his Pokeball, Misty and Brock coming up behind him as the narrator tells us all this episodes valuable moral.
Today everyone, especially Totodile, learned that courage, persistence, and passion are the only sure fire ways to success.
.....
BOLLOCKS!
Today's valuable lesson, kiddies, was that DESPITE courage, persistence and passion, the chick will always go for the good looking guy with the tight ass!
And you can stick that in your pipe and smoke it!
| BEST QUOTES |
 "What's making Totodile so goofy?" "Maybe you'll understand these things when you're a little older and more mature""Oh yeah??" "Azumarill's playing hard-to-get. Don't you give up on her, Totodile!""On second thought, maybe not""Huh?"
"Don't worry, Totodile, I'm gonna teach you how to be sucessful in love just like me!""You?"
"Love is worth fighting for and if you're brave and courageous and never quit you can come out a winner......just like me!"
"That's just what we need, a pokemon that act's like Brock!"
 "Don't be so barbaric, Jesse"
 "Hahahahahaha, YEAH!"
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