148: Totodile Duel
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On that dark day when we watched with horror as the infectiously joyful Koffing began to glow white before 'evolving' into the hideous abortion that is Weezing, things began to downhill.
Suddenly Brock was gone, Ash was a dynamic superhero and Togepi latched itself onto Misty and began destroying her aggressive personality.
Of course, we continued to watch because the show continued to be entertaining and dodgy as hell, but we cried and we lamented and we dreamed that one day the joy would return.
Then along came the patiently pleased Wobuffet, a happy little Pokemon that bounced out of it's Pokeball whenever it pleased, saluted alot and really, really got into the team spirit. Wobuffet's efforts were greatly appreciated by all as it Wobb'ed it's way through life, but as great as it was it couldn't replace Koffing.
But, with a little help, perhaps we can now get close to bringing back that simple joy to Pokemon.
Because today, Ash gets a new Pokemon, and it's a freaking lunatic!
The Totodile Duel.
Well, here we are on another fine day in Johto, and since Ash isn't in any hurry to get to Goldenrod Gym and earn another badge so he can get to the quickly impending Johto League or anything, the twerps have stopped for a spot of fishing.
Misty, Ash, Brock, Togepi and Pikachu all sit along the edge of a lazy river, all of then with rods placed in the water (GETCHA MINDS OUTTA DA GUTTA!) as they wait patiently for a nibble.
Well, almost all patiently, as usual Ash can't keep his ADD afflicted body still for even a minute and he complains to Misty that this is a boring way to catch Pokemon.
Taking the high road, Misty quietly snarls at him to be quiet but he just can't leave well enough alone, telling her that he could have caught ten Pokemon in the time they've been waiting for even one nibble.
As she snaps at him to be quiet again, Ash turns to Brock for support, asking him what he thinks. The stoic Gym Leader simply remarks that they may be using the wrong bait, while beside him Togepi screams with drunken laughter and jumps from foot to foot.
Misty, desperate to defend the honour of her favourite past-time begs Ash to just be patient and it might only take another hour, as which point Ash hits her with some of the delightful circular logic of the young and very stupid alike.
"As long as it keeps you quiet I don't care if it takes another two hours!"
Misty erupts angrily at her beau for his contradictory nature, but is interupted when a sudden tug at her line gets her attention. She turns and gasps with excitement before trying desperately to pull her catch in, while the others gather around to bask in reflected glory.
Whatever it is, it's putting up one hell of a fight and Misty is positive it's going to be a great catch. She tugs and pulls and hauls on the line as her companions watch with great excitement, as does another observer watching from some long grass across the other side of the river, a small Totodile that stares with wide, manic eyes and a huge, insane grin on it's face.
"To-tooooh!" it quacks excitedly at the sight before it, ready to leap out and become a superstar.
Across the other side of the river-bank, Misty has thrown all of her deceptively small body's strength into pulling on the rod, tugging with all her might as Ash, Brock and Pikachu shout encouragement and Totodile staggers about in a drunken stupor.
With an almighty pull, Misty wrenches her catch from the river with a mighty explosion of water and everybody looks on in wonder, before Brock's face falls and he asks, "What is it?"
"I think I just caught a tea-kettle," Misty mutters, staring at the rusty kettle attached to the end of her line.
"It put up a good fight though," placates Ash.
"Could you throw it back and catch a coffee-maker?" asks Brock.
"I CAME HERE TO CATCH POKEMON, NOT APPLIANCES!" screams Misty, and decides to bring out the big guns. As Togepi roars with drunken laughter beside her, she reaches into her bag and pulls free her super awesome number one hundred percent Mini-Misty Fishing Lure!
"It looks just like her," whispers Brock to Ash with quiet terror as he looks at the small little lure which looks like a midget version of Misty with a super-hero cape on it.
Of course, for those lucky enough to have seen Legend Of Dratini this is no surprise. Misty (or rather, Kasumi) used a very similar lure in that episode, although it was eaten by a Gyrados.
"Isn't that just going to scare the Water Pokemon?" Ash asks, making the obligatory 'make-fun-of-the-girl-so-she-doesn't-know-how-much I-want-to-bone-her' line.
Misty ignores him, casting back her line before snapping her wrist forward and sending Mini-Misty deep into the river. She provides a running commentary for herself at the same time, telling them to watch the technique of Misty the Water Pokemon Master.
As she poses bravely for the camera, Ash points out that she isn't in fact a Water Pokemon Master but as Misty herself explains, she doesn't like getting bogged down in the details. You see, ever since she was a little girl back in Cerulean City she's dreamed of becoming a Water Pokemon Master which is why she's ever so hopeful that she might catch a new one today.
"Misty is kind of scaring me," Ash notes to Brock quietly.
"She's almost as scary as that Mini-Misty," agrees Brock, although not quietly enough to avoid Misty's keen hearing.
"Don't mess with me or Mini-Misty," she growls, shooting them a dirty look.
But enougth of this foolishness, the fun has arrived! Leaping out of the water and landing with a triumphant 'To-tooooh-Dile!' on a rock jutting out of the water, Totodile poses bravely, executing a Crane Pose that Mr. Myagi himself would be proud of.
"Look at that!" cry the twerps.
"It's right there!" gasps Brock.
As they look on, the immensely pleased Totodile begins to dance with insane joy as Misty goes over all girly, clutching her hands to her cheek and giggling over how adorable it is.
"From the look of the little dance it's doing, it's a pretty happy one too!" smiles Brock as Totodile dances on.
Ash uses his Pokedex to get some more info on the mentally unbalanced Pokemon, "Totodile, the Big-Jaw Pokemon, it's highly developed, jaw, is so powerful, it can crush, practically anything. Trainers beware, this Pokemon loves, to use, it's teeth."
Uncaring of all this talk of Big-Jaws and Trainers Beware, Totodile continues to dance with insane delight, as Misty stares with big eyes up at the sky as a rosy background shoots up behind her.
"I knew my patience would pay off and now I've finally got another wonderful Water Pokemon to train," she sighs happily, before Ash leaps in the way with a Pokeball armed and ready to throw.
"Dream on Misty, coz I'm catching this one," laughs the impolite child.
But this isn't the brain-washed zombie Misty Ash has grown accustomed to, this is a Togepi-less Misty and she strikes before Ash can, throwing back her arm and then casting the Mini-Misty Super lure straight at the dancing Totodile.
It sees it coming and opens it's mighty jaws wide, swallowing the lure down and snapping it's jaws shut as Misty screams with triumph and Ash comes to a stop, shocked that somebody else caught a Pokemon before him.
But they've both spoken too soon, as a suddenly disgruntled Totodile suffers one of the violent mood swings that are a trademark of the truly insane and spits the Mini-Misty out.
"Is something the wrong, Totodile?" asks Misty, concerned, and for her reply Totodile grins manically and then throws her a suggestive wink.
"DID YOU SEE THAT TOTODILE WINKED AT ME!" screams Misty at top speed, pumping her arms like pistons, huge hearts in her eyes as she gushes excitedly over the mad little gator.
But the thoroughly unromantic Ash sees things in a whole other light. All he's interested in is the fact that Totodile spat out Misty's lure which makes it, in his eyes, fair game.
He calls for Pikachu to hit the dancing Totodile with a Thunder Shock Attack, and as it reels from the electric rodent's attack, he tosses his Poke-Ball with all the might in his scrawny little arm, capturing Totodile, sucking it up into the Pokeball as a shocked Misty looks on.
"That was a low-down dirty double crossing trick Ash Ketchum!" she screams at him, "That Totodile wouldn't have been anywhere near here if it wasn't for me and my lure!"
"Yeah well you don't catch a Pokemon with a lure, you catch it with a Poke-Ball!" retorts Ash the bitch.
But it turns out that neither is the effective method, as Totodile leaps free from the Poke-Ball before it can settle, reappearing on the river-bank in front of Misty and Ash where it continues it's mad dance of insane glee as they all look on, perplexed.
Ash, like any young boy who has had his will thwarted AND been made to look a fool in front of his woman, throws a temper tantrum, insisting that he caught The Totodile and it should get back into it's Poke-Ball.
But Totodile could care less about Poke-Balls, as it suddenly spots Pikachu and ceases it's mad dance to turn and waggle one claw in a sexually suggestive way at the confused little French Rodent.
"You can make friends later!" Ash screams at Totodile, not getting it as always, then snaps to Pikachu, "Use your Thunder Shock!"
Before this can come into effect though, we see that the old Misty has indeed returned for at least one day, as she slams her palm into Ash's face, pushing him aside as she proclaims that the reason Ash couldn't catch Totodile is that it wanted to be trained by her.
She tosses her Poke-Ball at it but Totodile is having none of it, leaping away and blasting the Poke-Ball back at them with a powerful Water Gun Attack that knocks the twerps flying back into the long grass as the mad gator makes it's getaway.
Crawling out of the bushes, a sodden Ash and Misty realise to their shock that Totodile has gone, but they know it must be close because it was just there a second ago.
As Ash announces his intention to capture it, Misty tries the softly-softly approach and politely begs him to let her capture it, but the rude little boy simply whines, "Finder's Keepers!" before heading off.
Misty instantly gives chase, barely giving a second thought to Togepi which she leaves in Brock's care. The tanned, toned and taut Gym Leader is left holding the drunken leech in his arms. None to happy with this turn of events, he decides to head after the two Love-Boids, giving the lame reason that somebody is going to have to referee them.
Crawling out of the river further downstream, meanwhile, we find Totodile as insanely happy as ever, until it's stomach begins to grumble and it realises how hungry it is.
"SNACK-TIME!" laugh two familiar voices, and it turns to see Jesse and James of Team Rocket stuffing what looks to be some Soy-Soaked Sushi into their mouths.
"Huuuuuuuuh," sighs Meowth, sitting to the side as his two comrades happily gobble down on their snack, "How can ya eat when we're in such a bad way?"
"It's easy!" comes the muffled reply from Jesse as she continues to eat, followed by one of the dodgiest lines ever from James, as he explains that all it requires is for you to open your mouth, stick it in and chew!
Oh.... that James!
Meowth explains that what he meant was that he fears 'Da Boss might give us da boot' when he finds out how they've been messing up.
But Jesse and James assure him that this he should get rid of that fear, because they'll always find more ways to mess up.
"We're Team Rock messing up at the speed of light!" giggles Jesse, holding her snack high.
"We may mess up but we do it right!" agrees James.
"WOBBBBBBB-UH!" smiles Wobuffet, emerging from it's Poke-Ball to throw it's support in.
"You ain't afraid of a little failure, aren't you Wobuffet," laughs Jesse, smiling down at her saluting Pokemon.
"Wobbbbbbb-UH!" agrees Wobuffet, patiently pleased.
James clasps his hands together before his crotch and stretches his body high in a ballet pose before releasing firecrackers by way of celebration. An excited Jesse gets in on the act, charging off-screen and returning with a small paper maiche Gyrados which she twists and turns about as Wobuffet looks on with a salute and Meowth continues to sit huddled up on the side, looking depressed.
Totodile pops it's head through the bushes and watches this sudden outburst of celebration with delight, their dancing and fireworks perfectly suited for it's own insanity. Charging in, it begins to dance beside James, turning backflips as Meowth moans that he wishes he could share their enthusiasm.
"We have to cheer up Mister Misery," grumbles James, he and Jesse ceasing their celebration as Totodile pauses to cock it's head at Meowth.
"I have just the thing," giggles Jesse, positively glowing with pleasure as she offers Meowth a sushi roll, "Have one of these delicious but non-nutritious snack treats!"
"Tanks but no tanks," mutters Meowth, and having refused the treat it's now fair game. Totodile instantly chomps down with delight on the snack and, incidently, Jesse's arm. She stares down in surprise at the happy gator as Meowth perks up and James crouches down for a closer look.
Realising that a Totodile has literally walked right up to them, James and Meowth are ecstatic, but Jesse is less so as she begins swinging her arm around in an attempt to get the clinging, insane Big-Jaw Pokemon to release her arm.
"Once Jesse finishes with dat spin cycle," claims Meowth, "We can give it to da Boss!"
"Wobbbbuh, Wobbbbuh!" agrees Wobuffet happily, throwing it's slabby arms high in celebration.
Jesse - her good mood vanished - pauses to growl at Wobuffet before sucking him back into his Poke-Ball, her momentary pause giving Totodile enough time to note the rest of this snack treats sitting on the ground.
It releases her arm and jumps down, gobbling all the snacks up in one go as a shocked Team Rocket looks on. James - theatrical as ever - slaps his hands to his face in his best Macauley Culkin impersonation before they all leap at Totodile, who jumps out of the way and hits them with that insanely powerful Water Gun Attack it has.
"WE'RE BLASTING OFF ALL READY!" moan Team Rocket as the hose of water sends them flying through the sky, while the ecstatically mad Totodile waves it's arms about happily before realising it's still hungry.
Pikachu meanwhile, is on the case, sniffing along the ground in search of Totodile.
Of course as we saw last episode, Pikachu actually has zero tracking skills if it can't see the Pokemon it's supposed to be chasing or the tracks it left behind. Luckily for the chubby little French Rodent, Totodile walks right across their path and it's pride is saved again, as Ash and Misty gush over it.
Turning around and spotting them, Totodile 'to-tohs' happily and Misty gets hearts in her eyes once more, squealing about how cute and adorable it is. The cold-hearted Ash, on the other hand, sees only opportunity and prepares to use his Poke-Ball to capture it until Misty reveals her secret weapon.
THE LURE BALL!
Yes, the mighty mullet of Kurt came in handy after all, since the Lure Ball he made for Misty is designed specifically to capture Water Pokemon. With it she's guaranteed to capture Totodile, except for one niggling little thing.
Ash has got a Lure Ball too.
Whipping out his own (GETCHA MIND OUTTA DA GUTTA!) Ash and Misty both prepare to throw thier Lure Balls at the same time, splitting the screen in two (top Misty, bottom Ash) as both prepare to throw.
Making use of the laws of visual representation, Misty begins banging the lower half of the screen, pushing Ash off the screen until he slams his elbow against the top half of the screen in an attempt to squash Misty against the top.
As they fight back and forth, Totodile roars with laughter and it's frenzied dance of glee continues to the point that Brock notes that it's the only one enjoying this.
It has, however, become lost in the all consuming fire of the dance, and when Ash and Misty finally get their act together and send out their Lure Balls, it's too late to dodge.
Attempting to get away, Totodile trips and flies up, hitting the Lure Balls and dropping behind a bush where both balls follow, hitting The Totodile and sucking it inside the confines of the ball whilst still out of sight.
Ash and Misty charge up to see what happened and discover to their shock that the mad little gator has been captured, but they have no idea which Lure Ball belongs to who. Both, of course, claim the one that capture Totodile as their own, but there is no proof of this claim and neither will relinquish their grip on The Lure Ball, although it seems fairly obvious that Misty would have overpowered the weak as hen-shit Ash given a few more seconds.
Those seconds never came though, because Brock has finally seen enough and stepped forward to pull the Lure Ball of them both, telling them that he would keep custody of it until they settle this the only way they can.
Frivolous litigation!
....
What?
Oh, a Pokemon Battle?
We guess that might work as well.
Both Ash and Misty square off back at their campsite as Brock explains the rules. They will each use three Pokemon and the winner will be named the Trainer of Totodile. Brock will be both judge and referee for the match and will keep Totodile in his custody until a winner is confirmed.
Ash and Misty are enjoying the opportunity to let loose some of the maddening sexual tension between them via a Pokemon Battle and Ash sees it as the chance to prove he would have beaten her at Cerulean Gym had they not been interupted.
Misty is unconcerned, claiming that the victory would have been hers, but Ash demands to be shown respect, because he knows she only uses Water Pokemon which are weak against electric type, and both he AND Pikachu are much stronger now than they were before.
Misty remains unconcerned though, and Ash begins to get a little panicky over her calm attitude, wanting to know why she isn't even a little worried.
And she's happy to reveal why, it seems that she has a secret weapon to use against Pikachu, one that has been in front of their faces all this time.
What could it be? What does she mean? Both Brock and Ash are mystified, and then horrified when she reveals the truth.
It's going to be Pikachu versus Togepi!
So what does this mean? Could it be that Misty has known all along Togepi's vile secret? Will it unleash the full force of it's mighty psychic powers and darkness abilities on the chubby French rodent?
Is this the beginning of the end? The coming of the Apocalypse? Are the end of days upon us? Does now play the end-game?
The answer, no, because Misty is using a technique based on the persona that Togepi fronts to the world, she's going to use it's supposed cuteness against Pikachu.
Squaring off, Brock signals for them to begin and Togepi charges, it's arms thrown wide as it roars with laughter. Pikachu stares in horror as the monstrosity grows closer and closer, and a panicked Ash tentatively suggests Pikachu use an attack.
Pikachu just turns and looks in wide eyed horror at Ash before Togepi leaps high and latches itself onto the hysterical rodent, nuzzling against it, rubbing it's body back and forth as Ash mumbles that maybe they should wait till it lets go before they attack.
Misty isn't going to let up, however, calling for Togepi to use a full force Charm Attack, which is just a cute word for sinking it's powerful psionic hooks into Pikachu's poor little French head.
Hearts fly from Togepi's mouth as it throws back it's head and roars with laughter, not with the gleeful insanity of Totodile either but the dark insanity of a Pokemon gone wrong, a Pokemon that was locked away in a dark cave amongst deadly Pokemon thought extinct because of the lethalness of it's power.
Waves of sweat rolls off of it's body before it drops Togepi and turns to run away, charging up to a rock and burying it's face against the indifferent stone, moaning and gasping for breath as Togepi celebrates it's first official Pokemon victory, Brock naming it the winner.
Misty sweeps Togepi up in her arms, ecstatic in the victory, not realising the extent of the Vile Egg-Type Thingy's evil nature.
With the first battle over, it's time for the second and both choose new Pokemon, Ash calling out Chikorita while Misty chooses Staryu, putting Togepi aside now that Pikachu is defeated.
Chikorita begins with a Razor-Leaf Attack which Staryu jumps over before using it's Swift Attack against the love-struck Grass-Type. Chikorita blocks the flying stars of the Swift Attack with the leaf on it's head before Tackling Staryu, which hits back with a Water Gun Attack that sends Chikorita flying backwards before it digs in it's heels and fires it's Vine-Whip Attack.
"Never underestimate the strength of my Chikorita!" cries Ash, making people the world over perform spit-takes at the dodginess of the line.
Staryu leaps over the vines and attempts to Tackle Chikorita, but the feisty little latino Pokemon dodges, getting behind Staryu and catching it with it's vines.
"Okay Chikorita, now whip it!" cries Ash, causing all those people who spat out their drinks before to do so with their replacements, only serving to anger their waitresses all the more.
Staryu is whipped hard into the ground and left lying in pain, it's warning light flashing to let everyone know it's in distress. Brock proclaims Chikorita the winner as Misty tenderly cradles Staryu in her arms, telling it she's sorry if she pushed it to hard, but she has a lot of faith in it.
Now it's time for the final battle, as apparently each battle is handled as a seperate affair and a different Pokemon must be used in each battle. This is the first time we've seen a Pokemon battle like this, usually you're given a set number of Pokemon and you battle until the other trainer is out of useable Pokemon, but the laws of convenience and plot-holes dictates otherwise for this episode.
Both Ash and Misty are determined to win this final battle, knowing that whoever wins gets Totodile. Misty chooses Poliwag and Ash picks Bulbasaur and they prepare to battle, Bulbasaur preparing to use it's Vine Whip as Poliwag turns to use it's Double-Slap.
But let's leave this battle for the moment, shall we, and see what's going on with Team Rocket.
We find out beloved Anti-Heroes hanging onto a log that floats down the river, moaning about their encounter with Totodile.
"I for one hope that we never run into that Totodile again," moans James, draped over the log facing away from the screen, giving us a delightful GAS of him. Unfortunately the same can't be said of Jesse, whose posterior faces away from the camera, her body draped over the log in the opposite direction to James.
"If we ever do it'll be too soon," moans Jesse.
"Oh yeah! Well we should be so luck to run into dat Totodile again!" growls Meowth, sitting high and dry on the long.
"Hmmm? ask Jesse and James, looking up at Meowth, the GAS of James just continuing on and on and on.
Meowth explains that capturing a Totodile would be just the thing needed to get back in the Boss's good books, and the next time they see it they should try and get it.
As they speak, the log smashes into a rock in the middle of the river, spilling them into the water. Jesse and James surface, clinging to the rock and preparing to make a dejected pun when they hear the sounds of battling in the distance.
Turning, they spot Ash and Misty commanding Bulbasaur and Poliwag, who are pressing their foreheads hard against each other, each struggling for dominance.
Jesse and James can't figure out why the twerps would be fighting each other, joking that they're probably battling to see who the biggest loser is.
However, an opportunity has arisen, while the twerps are battling they can sneak in and grab Pikachu. Luckily for them, Meowth is the voice of caution, leaping out of the water where he'd been quietly drowning to land on Jesse and James' heads. Posing bravely there, he explains to them that it would be smarter to wait for the battle to finish, because the twerps and their Pokemon will be all pooped out and then they can pounce!
"I like pouncing!" giggles James.
........
Make of that, what you will.
"We're going to give those twerps every ounce of pounce we've got," Jesse agrees, and then all three throw their arms high in celebratory anticipation of victory.
Back in the battle, Bulbasaur breaks off from Poliwag and fires loose with a Razor Leaf which Poliwag shatters with it's Water Gun. The blast of water is barely dodged by Bulbasaur, which attempts another Razor Leaf which connects this time, knocking Poliwag down hard. Ash thinks that this is it, he's won, and he begins celebrating as Poliwag lies stock still on the ground.
Brock stares at Poliwag and decides that the battle must be over, and prepares to announce Ash as the winner of the battle AND Totodile, until Misty calls for him to wait. They all turn and look as, completely out of nowhere, Poliwag begins to evolve.
"Bulba......" whispers Bulbasaur softly.
Misty absolutely gushes as a Poliwhirl stands up where a Poliwag had gone down, looking big, strong and ready for action.
Ash, a bit taken aback, checks his Pokedex for information on Poliwhirl, remembering the Poliwrath that once defeated his own Mighty Charizard (although the kick-ass Dragon came back to whip it's ass later).
"Poliwhirl, the Tadpole, Pokemon, it's highly developed, muscles, allow Poliwhirl to move, efficiently, on land. But it is even more, agile, in water."
Having all ready forgotten the first half of that description, Ash is confident his all-ready tired Bulbasaur can beat the newly evolved Poliwhirl.
Misty knows victory is in her grasp though and calls for Poliwhirl to use it's Body-Slam attack, the pot-bellied Poliwhirl flying through the air and crashing down hard onto Bulbasaur, which struggles to hold the big Pokemon up before it finally crashes into the ground.
What nobody has bothered to take into account though is that Bulbasaur is perhaps the most stubborn Pokemon on the planet, and it refuses to give in. Using it's Razor Leaf Attack, it scares Poliwhirl into leaping back as it staggers back to it's feet and tries to come to it's senses.
Ash, after getting Bulbasaur's assurances that it's okay to continue, calls for it to hit Poliwhirl with a Solar-Beam Attack, but Misty knows that a move like that takes time and in the meantime calls for Poliwhirl to put Bulbasaur down with a Bubble Attack.
Poliwhirl lifts it's arms and begins pounding Bulbasaur with bubbles which smack again and again into the stubborn grass type's forehead, Bulbasaur getting weaker and weaker but refusing to surrender because dammit, it's THE MAN!
And then..... BOOOOOOOM! One Solar Beam Attack, smashing into Poliwhirl and sending it flying and crashing hard into the ground, battered beyond the ability to fight anymore, defeated.
Ash wins!
As Misty consoles Poliwhirl for it's efforts, Brock takes The Lure Ball and prepares to hand it to Ash as Misty joins them, Brock telling him that he won it fair and square.
Before that can happen though, fireworks begin exploding over their heads before a giant ball opens and confetti crashes down over their heads, burying them to their heads as their Pokemon stand to the sides, looking confused.
Suddenly Jesse and James rush in dressed as Auxillary Ladies (well of course they do) and begin kicking their legs high as they lift their dresses RIGHT UP, singing, "Hip hip hooray! Hip hip hooray!"
Jesse then stops to explain what she's doing there, but James is getting REALLY excited, continuing to kick his legs high in Brock's face, his dress lifted RIGHT up as he laughs, "Hip hip hooray! Hip hip hooray! Hip hip HOORAY!"
As he continues to do this over and over and over and over, Jesse explains that they're from a Pokemon Fan Club for the Ladies Auxillery, while James finally stops exposing his crotch to Brock as he crouches down before Pikachu and Bulbasaur (still holding his dress up!) and surmises that the Pokemon must be plum tuckered out after all that fussing and fighting.
"WOBBBBBBBBBBUH!" agrees Wobuffet, getting a good look at Pikachu and Bulbasaur.
And infuriated Jesse hisses at Wobuffet, asking it what it thinks it's doing, sabotaging their plan, and James wraps his arms around the patiently pleased Pokemon and pitches it off-screen.
"Those aren't Auxillery Ladies!" cries Misty as she and the others stand up, apparently indicating that Auxillery Ladies might indeed be found wondering the riverbanks of Johto.
"Don't be distressed, prepare for trouble!"
"Once I get out of this dress you better make it double!"
"To protect the world from devestation!"
"To unite all peoples within our nation!"
"To denounce the evils of truth and love!"
"To extend our reach to the stars above!"
"Jesse!" cries Jesse, throwing her dress off (oh you wish, dodgers, you wish!)
"James!" squeals James with a high-pitched voice, throwing his own dress off.
"Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light!"
"Surrender now or prepare to fight, fight, fight, fight!"
"WOBBBBBUFF......"
"Get your own line!" snaps Meowth, jumping onto Wobuffet and knocking it down, before looking up at the twerps, "Hehe, that's right!"
"Not you again!" the twerps yell.
Indeed it is, and they want the twerps Pokemon now that they're all tuckered out from fighting.
Unfortunately for Team Rocket, Ash has got a brand new Pokemon that's all rested up and ready for fight, and after a very dramatic, action packed pose he sends out Totodile.
"IT'S GONNA BITE US!" cry Team Rocket as the insanely happy Totodile flies through the air and locks it teeth around the end of Jesse's beautiful, beautiful hair.
In a shock she begins twisting her head about, whipping her hair around in circles until Totodile's grip loosens and it pulls loose, unfortunately leaving Jesse with horrendous split-ends.
Put into a fury by this fashion faux-pas, Jesse sends out Arbok before turning her rage on a shocked James, telling him to stop standing there looking helpless and help her!
Arbok charges Totodile, prepared to tackle it, but meets resistance in the form of Totodile's teeth, as it bites down on the end of it's tail and whips it around, sending it flying hard into Meowth and Wobuffet before breaking into it's insane dance of pleasure again.
Misty can't figure out why Totodile continues to dance, not realising that it's a freaking lunatic while Brock attempts to explain it away by saying it's happy to have taken out Arbok and Meowth.
Weezing starts firing Sludge Attacks at Totodile, who apparently has method in it's madness as it dodges each attack, dancing about with insane glee before it leaps up and begins scratching away at Weezing's face, sending it crashing into Team Rocket.
Dropping down, Totodile lets loose with the insanely powerful Water Gun Attack once again and once more sends Team Rocket blasting off again, or as Wobuffet says.
"WOHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"
Sniff, so poignant, so true!
Ash is delighted at his victory, but he doesn't even come close to the ecstatic reaction of Totodile, which dances with frenzied energy before charging over and grabbing Pikachu, spinning it around as it 'To-Toh's with insane pleasure.
Misty compliments Ash on the way he handled his Totodile and tells him that, since they've been friends for so long she feels it's important that he know she doesn't begrudge his victory, especially now that she's had time to think about it.
"That's a very mature attitude, Misty," says Brock with obvious pleasure.
But Misty isn't all grown up yet, as she hugs her Poliwhirl and rubs her face happily against it, telling them that she doesn't need a Totodile that does whatever it wants when she can have a Poliwhirl that would evolve just for her!
Ash and Brock spill over into stock shock poses as Pikachu screams for help from the clutches of the mad Totodile. Ash walks over and scoops it up, hugging the mad little gator as it rolls it's eyes back to glare with insane glee at Ash.
Oh yes, our homophobic friend Squirtle might be gone, but this is going to be a more than adequate replacement, gentle Dodgers, because just like any Royal Family will tell you....
There's nothing like a little insanity.
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 "As long as you're quiet I don't care if we're here another two hours"
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