147: Hour of the Houndour
|
|
It seems that Brock and Misty chose their unbelievably stupid 'leader' to go out and try and find water, while they stayed behind to set up the meal.
What's the bet they end up drinking Pika-Pee?
An enraged Togepi madly screams for food and Misty assures the vile abortion of a Pokemon that it's coming soon, all they're waiting for is Ash and the water.
But as they prepare, a sinister set of eyes watches from the bushes, and this time it's not a deliciously camp James, a seductively sexy Jesse or a tough talking Meowth doing the watching.
Ash arrives back on the scene, clutching a thermos and water canteen in his arms, Pikachu riding on his shoulder. He tells them his quest was successful (why didn't they call out Staryu and have it use it's Water-Gun?) and a happy Misty tells him to get the bread and they'll be ready to eat.
"What bread?" asks Ash, much to Misty's consternation, since they gave him the bread and he promised not to lose it.
"Oh that bread!" laughs Ash, hoping that nobody has noticed how unnecessarily stupid he is, "I put it in my pack."
But what pack Ash? The tree you left it beside now stands with it's trunk exposed, naked to the eyes of all who look upon it. We can only thank goodness that Heracross is currently oiling itself up back in Pallet Town as Tracey pulls on his rubber glove and.....
Okay, too much information.
In any case, Ash's pack is gone and he has no idea where it could possibly be. Brock didn't move it, neither did Misty, so it looks like it was stolen, but why? What was of value that could have possibly enticed a thief to grab it?
Ash nervously checks his pockets, where he finds his Pokeballs, Badges and Pokedex. Yep, like any sensible person living in todays day and age he keeps all his valuable items in his pocket, so why would anyone steal his pack?
Well, as Misty suggests, to somebody hungry that food would seem pretty valuable, something that Ash - who lived the affluent life thanks to his Daddy's wealth, never questioning where his mother got the money from - has never considered.
Brock suddenly notices the large, long track of paw prints that have been right where they were standing all along.
Well done Brock.
They all peer closely at the prints, knowing they were made by some kind of Pokemon but not knowing which one, although Brock tries to sound as knowledgeable as possible while telling Misty that he hasn't got a clue.
None of that matters to Ash though, who pledges to find his pack no matter what, a pledge shared bravely by Pikachu.
Meanwhile, in a nearby town we find Nurse Joy and Chansey heading out of a market where they find - to their delight - the ice cream van.
They set down their groceries and order two cones of mint chocolate chip ice-cream, beaming vacuously over having got their groceries, which
include a large packet of ham.
Packet of ham? Somehow that doesn't sound too appetising to us.
However, it sounds plenty appetising to a very hungry Team Rocket, who stare down from a wall at the food just sitting there, begging to be stolen.
"Hmmm hahaha-hah!" laughs Jesse.
"Mmmmm," mmmmmm's James, "Lunch-time!"
"It's a whole buffet!" chuckles Meowth, which is exactly the wrong thing to say.
"WOOOHHHHHHHHHHH-BUHHHHHHH!!!!" sings Wobuffet, popping out of it's Pokeball and stretching one arm high as it clutches the other to it's heart and lets loose with a happy song.
"Meowth wasn't talking about you!" growls Jesse, calling the patiently pleased Pokemon back into it's Poke-Ball as it lets loose with another WOBBBBBB!
And the ice-creams are ready, the nice ice-cream man handing over two cones of mint chocolate chip ice-cream to Nurse Joy, which gives James all the opportunity he needs.
"All right," he cries, pulling back on a fishing rod,"I'll do the angling and Meowth will do the dangling!"
Meowth - attacked the the end of the fishing line - pulls a Tom Cruise and drops to just above the bag of groceries.
"I got it guys!" whispers Meowth as he grabs the packet of ham.
"Very impressive, James," Jesse compliments as James reels Meowth back in.
"Thanks," giggles James, and can't resist adding, "I've always found rods and reels and tackles quite alluring!"
You heard him, folks, he's always found RODS and TACKLES alluring!
"Say Ciao, to your chow!" laughs Meowth.
Joy has all ready finished her ice-cream, the big hog, and now she turns to discover her delicious Packet'O'Ham has disappeared from her bag of groceries.
Both she and Chansey turn and look about the ground as they try to figure out where the ham has gone, while above them Team Rocket has all ready vacated the wall and set off to enjoy delicious, nutritious, processed Packet'O'Ham!
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" giggles James happily as the trio rush off into an alleyway behind a building to eat their ill-gotten gains, "She fell for that one hook, line and stinker."
"Yeah," agrees Meowth, "For once I was happy ta put myself on da line for Team Rocket! Hahahaha!"
"Without further adieu," laughs Jesse, rummaging around in the Packet'O'Ham as a shadowy, red-eyed figure watches from the bushes, "I present the catch of the day!"
She lifts the disgustingly packaged roll of processed ham up high for all to see.
"It's beautiful!" sobs a wobbly-eyed James, delirious with hunger.
"And delicious!" agrees Meowth, unable to resist any longer. He leaps up high and sinks his teeth into the plastic wrapping of the ham, and an enraged Jesse begins to shake it up and down in an effort to dislodge Meowth from his death-grip on their only food.
James leaps into the fray, claiming that it was his idea and therefore he should get first bite, and as they struggle and fight, a cloud of dust is thrown up by their flailing limbs to cover the brutal beatings going on inside. So intensely do they fight that they fail to notice the ham roll free from their turmoils, which is obviously an extremely clever metaphor for the Palestinian/Israeli conflict.
And just like The U.S Government, the shadowy watcher takes advantage of the turmoil to step in and grab the prize, lifting the ham in it's mouth and disappearing into the distance.
The fighting slowly ceases and Jesse, James and Meowth realise that the ham is gone and nobody knows what happened to it.
Scratch that, one person does know, the patiently pleased Wobuffet has somehow appeared to brighten all of our days once more, and with a slow nod it solemnly proclaims, "Wooobbbbbbbbb!"
Meowth pulls his teeth away from James' leg and leaps onto Wobuffet's chest (or at least the closest thing it has to one) and snaps that Wobuffet obviously took it.
"Wobbbb wobbba wobuffet!" snaps Wobuffet angrily, shaking it's body to and fro.
"Come on, fork ovah da pork!" growls Meowth.
"Wait a minute," says James, somehow able to translate Wobuffet's speech, "You say you're innocent?"
Meowth spills off to the ground and sits with a dazed look on his eyes as Jesse angrily roars, "If you didn't take it then who did?"
"Something's going on back there, Chansey" speaks up Nurse Joy from a distance, causing James to clutch his hands to his mouth, Meowth and Wobuffet to wildly flail their arms and Jesse to bounce up in surprise.
"That nurse!" Jesse cries, and as James suggestion they leg it, heading for the hills as fast as they can.
Joy and Chansey emerge from around the corner and spot the now empty packet that once held their disgustingly processed meat, and a shocked joy whispers, "Who'd do something like that?"
Oh we don't know, a homeless person? a starving waif? three friends who are never given a break and have society against them? A dog trying to bring sustenance to a sick member of it's pack?
After all, stealing ham isn't exactly the crime of the century.
"Hey Nurse Joy!" cries an annoyingly familiar voice, and Ash and Misty come running up, "What are you doing back here?"
Before Nurse Joy can ask them the very same question, Brock slides in at the speed of light with his hand pressed firmly to his chest, happily asking a nervous Nurse Joy, "Hi! Were you looking for me?"
A shocked Misty and Ash collapse onto their faces before Misty recovers and grabs Brock by the ear, pulling him away as she growls at him, "No, but you're looking for trouble!"
Ash chortles with embarrassment as Brock is pulled away, then turns to Nurse Joy and asks her if she is having some kind of a problem.
"Yes, I put our grocery bag down, and when I looked just a second later, I noticed a ham was gone," she explains to Ash, showing him the now empty packet, "Whoever took it left only the empty wrapper behind."
"That's just like what happened to me," says Ash, even though something completely different happened to him, "Only they didn't just take our food, they took my backpack too!"
"Oh my," gasps Nurse Joy, who is obviously easily upset.
"Was one a guy who looked kind of weird, like this?" asks the perpetually suspicious Misty, putting Togepi on her head and drawing her hands across her face, which somehow creates the superimposed image of James' hair over her own, before spilling her arms in a sweeping gesture which superimposes Jesse's hair, "And was one a girl who had really long hair like this?"
Each description is accompanied by Misty's impression of both James and Jesse's voices. While her James isn't up to much, she does do an excellent Jesse.
Immmmmm, speaking of doing an excellent Jesse........
"I don't know!" gasps a big-eyed, near-tears Joy. "Neither of us saw who took the ham!"
Well so much for Misty's bigoted, prejudicial deductions then.
Pikachu, being close to the ground and unfettered by such things as human prejudice, calls their attention to the paw-prints leading away from the building into the forest. They're exactly the same as those left by whatever stole Ash's backpack, and with a determined air the twerps set off to follow the prints back to their source.
Nurse Joy just stands uselessly behind, watching them go and not offering to help in the slightest, while behind her, hiding amongst the crates and boxes, a curious Team Rocket ponder this latest development.
"This is interesting," notes Jesse.
"Very interesting," agrees Meowth.
"It seems the Pokemon who stole from the twerps is also the Pokemon who stole the food we stole from Nurse Joy!" James elaborates.
"WUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-OOOOOOBBBBBBBBBBB!!!!" roars Wobuffet, emerging from it's Pokeball and stretching it's arms high as it yawns, terrifying Team Rocket who then glare menacingly at the friendly blue blob of Pokemon, which gazes nervously back.
"If it had to steal something why couldn't it have taken this big ham," mumbles Jesse, calling Wobuffet back.
Wobuffet aside, Team Rocket now have a plan of action, they'll simply follow the twerps till they find the thieving Pokemon, then they'll do a little thieving of their own.
In the forest, a determined trio of twerps are following Pikachu as it follows the tracks of the thieving Pokemon. Pikachu's sadly underdeveloped tracking skills are brought fully into the limelight moments later though, when they reach grass and the visible tracks disappear.
Suddenly Pikachu is all out to sea, it has no concept of where to go from here and the twerps have placed all of their confidence into the chubby little rodent, and they've come so far into the forest so fast they're a little lost.
Brock - ever one to make the most out of a bad situation - claims that being completely lost in a forest with Pokemon with no morals is actually a good thing. He tells Ash and Misty that the wind is just right, and when they question what this means, he explains that they'll see soon enough, which is ever the answer of those who are cruising along on pure, unadulterated bullshit.
A little later on they've set up camp in the clearing, Brock going over all maternal as he prepares to cook up some delicious food, primarily a rather large, succulent looking sausage.
But all that pales in comparison to the look of absolute shock on Togepi's face, aghast and disbelieving as we discover a new top contender for dodgiest moment in Pokemon history.
Misty is bending over beside Brock as he clutches a hard, pinkish phallic looking piece of wood in his hands, stroking one hand up and down it as it bends slightly upwards.
Togepi is, understandably, completely blown away by the symbolism evident here, only excarcebated by the pleased look on Brock face as he strokes away.
Of course, it's all innocently misleading (at least, reasonably so) since what Brock is actually doing is carving a piece of wood to look like a sausage.
But the words, gentle dodgers, oh the words! When Misty asks him what he's doing he tells he's,'whittling away at a meaty little decoy,' and then he holding the phallic object up and proclaims to the underage girl, "Now that looks tasty!"
Oh Lord, we thank thee for thine gift of dodginess to the world.
He drops both the sausage and the decoy into the cooking pot, which is filled with water boiling from the fire Ash has just started up.
Later that night the decoy sausage, which has now got the smell of the actual sausage embedded into it's wood, sits on a plate on the tree stump. The wind blows the scent of the sausage out into the forest while Ash, Misty, Brock and Pikachu hide in the bushes, ready for the thieving Pokemon to make it's return.
As they wait the wind picks up, blowing out the fire, and as if this was the sign one black paw settles down onto the grass. Pikachu's sensitive ears perks up at the sound and Ash turns to ask it what it heard. As Misty turns to tell Ash she thought she heard something too, the silhouette of the Pokemon rushes out and grabs the decoy from it's stump and takes off.
The twerps turn too late, the decoy AND the Pokemon gone, and they realise they've missed their opportunity. Ash tries to chase it, but it leaps into a bush and that's just too dangerous a prospect for somebody like Ash.
Sure, Action Hero Ash will leap off cliffs, dive under the ocean, take on all manner of super-powered Pokemon, attempt to attack Mewtwo, charge right into the thick of a battle with four Legendary Bird Pokemon or happily approach a pink Rhydon, but tackle a bush? Oh no way man, that's just too dangerous.
But Brock is happy, proclaiming his trap was a complete success since the Pokemon stole the fake food and if it really is hungry it'll have to come back for the real sausage, which Brock still has.
Unable to resist another dodgy image, Brock then holds up the sausage for Ash and Misty's approval, presenting it to them with a happy grin as Misty kind of smirks and Ash just looks at it with a perplexed eye.
"And because we'll be right here waiting," smiles Misty, "This'll be more like a stake-out than a cook-out!"
"But where the steak?" asks the unbelievably stupid Ash.
A sudden loud growl breaks off any chance Brock or Misty might have had to pummel Ash, and they all look around for the source of the sinister growl, growing increasingly nervous as more and more growls join in.
Ash, despite his terrifying phobia of bushes, angrily yells for the growling Pokemon to come out and show themselves, which is exactly what they do.
From all around the clearing step the dark silhouette of dog like Pokemon, their coats black, white bands around their ankles and their trunks, a strange skull like helmet over their foreheads.
A nervous Ash takes out Dexter to get the 411 on these new, angry looking Pokemon.
"Houndour, the Dark Pokemon, Houndour travel in packs, and communicate through barks, in order to, surround their prey," Dexter informs them.
"Dark.... Pokemon? asks Ash.
"Houndour...." whispers Misty quietly.
"Their footprints aren't as scary as they are," mumbles Brock, still holding the sausage on a plate in his hands.
The lead Houndour tosses the decoy sausage angrily away, the phallic object landing at Ash's feet and bouncing in front of Misty where it lays still, looking phallic still but now serving more as a warning to Ash and Brock about what may be in store for them.
"It doesn't look like it enjoyed your trick," Misty tells Brock, who looks at the real sausage in a panic, realising he'll be the one they attack first.
"Maybe it wasn't such a great idea to give them fake food," Brock offers lamely, setting Misty off as she roars at Brock why the hell he didn't think of that earlier.
Ash is still full of bravado though, now that the horrors of the bush is behind him, and he stands up to the pack, telling them that they're not getting Brock's precious sausage without a fight.
Suddenly they notice that big massive cliff overlooking the forest that wasn't there before, where one Houndour stands looking down over them all.
According to Brock this one is the leader of the pack, which is fairly obvious given that is has scars on it's face to set it apart from all the other Houndour. It lets loose a sharp bark and the other Houndour charge the twerps, who all dodge aside in time before calling out their own Pokemon.
Ash calls out Cyndaquil and Chikorita, Misty tries to call out Staryu but gets Psyduck instead while Brock calls on Onix. Now it's five on five and things are looking even for Brock and Ash, while Misty just looks depressed at having Psyduck to defend her good name.
The Houndour and The Twerps Pokemon fight it out, coming out basically even despite the fact that Psyduck simply stands there doing nothing.
The Houndour Pack Leader glares down at the spectacle, watching as Cyndaquil uses it's Flamethrower, Pikachu Thundershocks, Chikorita Razor-Leafs and Onix Ga-Rooooars. Watching it's pack fail to defeat an emotionally crippled little boy, a brain-washed girl and a horny teenager is too much for the pack leader, and it leaps down from the cliff that wasn't there before and confronts Ash, challenging him to a one on one Pokemon battle.
Ash is all for it, and chooses Pikachu to do the battling for him. Both Pokemon start off with Leer Attacks before Houndour lets loose with a Flamethrower Attack that Pikachu dodges, attempting a Quick Attack which Houndour also dodges, leaving Pikachu lying on it's fat little back as Houndour leap high, ready to crash down and sink it's fangs into the cholesterol laden body of the chubby little French rodent.
Immmm, now that's good eating!
Luckily for Pikachu, Houndour chooses to be dramatic and just hangs in the air for a few moments, giving the chubby little rat the chance to leap out of the way. Houndour lets loose with another Flamethrower attack which Pikachu barely manages to leap over before firing back with it's Thunder Attack, which is exactly the same kind of attack as it's Thunderbolt and Thundershock Attack.
Houndour dodges that as well and both incredibly unfit Pokemon stand panting roughly as they glare at each other. The Pack Leader's humiliation is nearly unbearable, to not be able to put a quick end to a fat, cuddly little French rat is making it look bad in front of it's boys, but an opportunity to save face comes up with it hears a long, mournful howl coming from the distance. Instantly it lets out it's Smog Attack, joined by the other Houndour, enveloping the twerps in the smog long enough for them to make their escape.
Ash isn't about to let the chance at another victory go begging, however, and they set off after the retreating Dark Pokemon. Arriving at the foot of the cliff that wasn't there before, we find a cave where a Golem is facing off with a sickly looking Houndour, the only thing standing between the Golem and the stolen food.
Before it can attack, though, a Flamethrower cuts it off, and it turns to discover the Houndour Pack have returned, quickly charging in front of the injured member of their pack, which collapses to the ground. The Leader of the Pack attempts to fight of The Golem as Ash, Brock and Misty arrive at the cliff-base, and they note that Ash's backpack, the bread and Nurse Joy's ham are all sitting just outside of the cave.
It seems obvious to them all now that the Houndour have been stealing food to feed the sick and injured member of The Pack, which wasn't a good enough excuse for Jean Val Jean but appears to be fine by Ash.
The Leader Of The Pack's attempts to stop The Golem are proving futile, as it's flame attacks do little to injure the rock-type Pokemon, and it charges straight at the leader.
Ash, for no apparent reason, charges forward and lifts Houndour up, pulling it away even though it obviously could have skipped aside by itself. Crashing to the ground, Ash tells Houndour to let him handle The Golem and orders Chikorita to use it's Razor Leaf Attack.
Now where flames failed, small leaves appear to do the trick, as Golem suddenly turns and charges away in terror, obviously suffering a similar plant-based phobia to Ash's.
With The Golem mysteriously defeated, Misty asks Brock to go help the injured Houndour. He heads over and examines the wound, explaining to Ash that it's not too deep a wound but that it is showing signs of infection. He removes a small spray bottle which contains an antitode inside, but when he makes to spray the wound the other Houndour growl and bark, startling the tall, tanned and toned Gym Leader into dropping the bottle.
Ash, ever the action hero, scoops up the spray bottle and explains to the Leader Of The Pack that it'll help their injured friend, but when he settles down and sprays the bottle, the sick Houndour howls in pain, causing the rest of the pack to start growling again.
Pikachu, Chikorita and Cyndaquil all gear up to defend their Trainer but Ash knows this will only cause more trouble so he calls Cyndaquil and Chikorita back into their Pokeballs, leaving only Pikachu behind.
With the wound sterilised, Brock checks the Houndour's temperature and tells Ash that it's running a fever and needs to get to a Pokemon Centre as soon as possible.
Knowing that the best action hero thing to do is pick it up and carry it on his back, Ash suggests that he do just that and lifts Houndour onto his back.
Once again the rest of the pack begins growling and barking, but a short, quick bark from the Leader Of The Pack shuts them up, and a wobbly eyed Ash gushes happily over the fact that the Houndour understands him and his intentions.
He prepares to go, but before he can a grey boot settles down onto a rocky overhang looking over the cliff-base and a sexy voice tells them that they shouldn't run away, in fact, they should,"Prepare for trouble!"
"By all means stay, and we'll make it double," adds a man's voice, sexy in it's own right.
"To protect the world from devastation!"
"To unite all peoples within our nation!"
"To denounce the evils of truth and love!"
"To extend our reach to the stars above!"
"Jesse!"
"James!"
"Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light!"
"Surrender now or prepare to fight, fight, fight!"
"Woooooooooobbbbbbbaaaahhhhhhhhh......" starts Wobuffet, before Meowth kicks it out of the way, "That's right!"
Having made their triumphant entrance, Ash tells them that he's busy and that they should just buzz off. Jesse responds with a laugh and tells him they'll leave once he hands over Pikachu, The Houndour and finally that ham.
Misty leaps onto this admission with the glee of a KKK rally finding a 19th Century edition of The Encylopaedia Britannica, her own prejudicial deductions validated for the moment. An embarrassed Team Rocket try to shrug off this humiliating chapter of their past, telling the twerps that they'll settle for Pikachu and The Houndour and that they can keep the ham.
The Houndour aren't too keen on this idea and step in front of Ash, growling something unintelligible at him.
Unintelligible to Ash at least, who has enough problems with the English language, but Meowth understands all too well. The Leader Of The Pack has just told Ash to take their injured pack member to the Pokemon Centre while they deal to Team Rocket.
As Team Rocket and the Houndour prepare to face off, Ash and the others turn tail and run, while Jesse calls out Arbok and James lets loose Victreebell and the vile monstrosity that is Weezing. As Victreebell goes through the obligatory 'eat James' routine, The Houndour line up and hit Team Rocket with a Leer Attack which puts them all in a panic and has the patiently pleased Wobuffet lifting it's arm in surrender before the match has even started.
Jesse refuses to give up though, despite James and Meowth suggesting that when the going gets tough, the tough gets going and if they get going now they might make it back to town in time to steal dinner. She calls for Arbok to use it's Poison Sting Attack, which misses, and Weezing's Tackle Attack and Victreebell's Razor Leaf prove just as ineffectual.
Now it's The Houndour's turn, and the let loose with a synchronised burst of flame. Team Rocket drop to the ground and drop their heads down firmly in an attempt to dodge the flames, unfortunately leaving their asses up in the air. The flames start burning Jesse and James' all ready hot asses and with a scream Team Rocket turn and flee, James clutching his hands to his firm buttocks.
Like you wouldn't.
Meanwhile, Ash is charging on ahead of Misty and Brock, only Pikachu able to keep up despite the fact that Ash is carrying a large dog on his back. Misty is exhausted, Brock has a stitch, but Ash is determined and fresh, too stupid to realise how tired he actually is.
He trips suddenly and collapses to the ground, unable to get back up, the dead weight of the unconscious Houndour on his back keeping him down.
Brock makes the downright sensible proposal that he carry The Houndour for awhile, since he's fresher, taller, stronger with longer legs.
Just like when he refused to let Tracey and Misty assist him in Revelation:Lugia, Ash throws back the proffered help and tries to struggle to his feet, but simply collapses again.
Again we find ourselves privileged to witness a delightfully dodgy image as we cut to a side-profile shot of Ash's head and shoulders, The Houndour draped over his back, lifting it's head slowly up and down, back and forth as a concerned Pikachu looks on, almost as if it was..... well, we'll let your imagination run wild, gentle Dodgers.
Ash is saved from humiliation, however, by the arrival of The Houndour Pack. The scarred leader steps up beside Ash and offers to carry it's wounded comrade to the Pokemon Centre, all they have to do is lead the way.
Ash isn't about to disagree with a fire-breathing dog with large fangs, no matter how stupid he is, and he readily agrees. Soon they're at the Pokemon Centre and calling out Nurse Joy, who states the obvious by proclaiming that the Houndour is burning up with a fever.
As the rest of the pack sits outside waiting, Ash, Misty, Brock, Pikachu and the Leader Of The Pack wait inside. Finally, Nurse Joy emerges and triumphantly proclaims that the fever has broken and The Houndour is going to be just fine.
This is great news, and they all head outside to inform the rest of the pack, but the celebrations are interrupted by the return of Team Rocket, this time safely out of The Houndour's reach, sitting in the basket of their Happy Buddha Face Meowth Balloon.
Meowth informs them that they're going to make them pay for busting up their ham scam.
"Ham scam?" asks a confused Nurse Joy.
Ash explains that Team Rocket were the ones who stole Nurse Joy's meat, which is an unbelievably dodgy line no matter which way you look at it.
Team Rocket could care less about preprocessed Packet'O'Ham right about now though, more interested in the assembled Pokemon that they can catch and deliver to their Boss. Pressing a button, they fire out a net which scoops up the Houndour Pack, although The Leader Of The Pack and Pikachu are able to pull back before the net can surround them as well.
As the struggling Houndour pack are lifted up in the net, Meowth notes they missed Pikachu but, as Jesse chuckles, who needs that little runt when they have all those big strong Houndour.
Pikachu leaps up onto the lead Houndour's back as it and Ash charge after the retreating Happy Buddha Face Meowth Balloon. Ash charges along but he's seething with frustration, knowing that the balloon is too high up for Pikachu to Thundershock it.
And then, well what do you know, he notices that Pikachu is on Houndour's back and inspiration hits. He orders The Leader Of The Pack to leap high and it does so without hesitation, firing loose a Flamethrower Attack which cuts through the rope and drops the Houndour back to the ground. With Pikachu now in range and Houndour practising it's 'hang in the air without moving for 25 minutes' technique, the furry little spark-plug lets loose with an electrical attack which punctures the balloon and sends Team Rocket blasting off again, Wobuffet letting loose as well despite the fact it was nowhere in sight earlier.
But then, you would too.
To celebrate this victory, another piece of horrendous symbolism ensues as the Houndour pack charge in and knock Ash to the ground, pressing firmly against him and licking his face and.... other parts as he cries with laughter, telling them it tickles, it tickles.
"I guess it's better to be lick by Houndour than by Team Rocket," suggests Misty innocently enough, not knowing how dodgy that sounds.
The next day finds the injured Houndour fully healed and feeling fine, which makes it fair game for some more phallic symbolism from Brock, who just can't resist it as he hands over his sausage for the dog to gobble.
With the suggest bestiality out of the way, the twerps set out once again for Goldenrod City, waving goodbye to Nurse Joy who must be on a bit of a sugar rush given that she's only had a mint chocolate chip ice cream to eat over the last 24 hours.
They head on into the forest, where they spot The Houndour lined up on top of the cliff that wasn't there before, letting loose a victory howl to thank them for their assistance.
Kinda friendly for Dark Pokemon, weren't they?
But what about the real heroes? Those starving rr-teeests who were blasted off with callous indifference?
Well, we find them hanging from a tree branch, or rather we find Jesse hanging from a branch by the collar of her rocket jacket. James is clutching onto her boots and kicking madly while Meowth clutches onto James' knee for dear life.
"What's the use of hanging on?" moans Jesse.
"WOBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB-AHHHHHHHHHHH!" cries Wobuffet from somewhere off camera.
"That's easy for you to say, Jesse," moans James.
"WOBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB-AHHHHHHHHHHH!" repeats Wobuffet, as the camera trucks out to show more of the cliff-side which the branch is poking out of, and the stumpy feet of Wobuffet standing on the actual cliff-top itself.
"Ya know what our big mistake wuz?" Meowth asks them.
"Wobbbb Wuh wob!" Wobuffet tells them, clutching it's stumpy limbs to it's head as it looks down at it's masters.
"We shouldn't have gone out on a limb," they moan together, and once again Wobuffet hits us with a better closing line than any of us could ever put together in a million years.
"Wob."
| BEST QUOTES |
 "Great. Grab the bread and we'll dig in." "What bread?" "What bread? The bread you promised not to lose when we gave it to you!""Ooooooooo. That bread!"
 "I've always found rods, reel and tackle to be quite alluring!"
|
|
